Chapter 44
Chapter 44. The Touching Scars (4)
The sharp words, rasped out in her broken voice, held nothing false. He wanted to refute them, but he could not.
And that made it all the more painful, all the more despairing.
The siblings who had wept so tenderly upon reuniting were gone. Harsh reality turned them into burdens for each other.
A weight too heavy to carry, yet impossible to cast aside.
Even if it crushed them to death, it was a burden they could never release.
And in the end, the knowledge that each had seen the other as a burden tore their hearts to shreds.
Half a year passed with them wounding one another this way.
“Ariel!”
That day too, Ariel writhed in agony, crying out for death.
Her few remaining eyelashes quivered. Her shriveled fingers trembled uncontrollably.
“Get out!”
Nadia rushed in at the sound of her cries and shoved Sionne from the room.
“Just a moment! Please, just a moment…”
He wanted to stay by his suffering sister’s side until the end.
But whenever her agony struck, Ariel coughed as though she would vomit. Believing it dangerous, Nadia always forced him away during such times.
“You should return for today.”
“Haa…”
Yet he couldn’t bring himself to leave.
Sionne sank down beneath the tree in front of the house. Gritting his teeth, he listened to the howls of wild beasts in the distance.
Watching Ariel fight her illness for months, he had come to realize something.
He wanted to beg her—stay a little longer, remain by my side a little more. But those words would only deepen her suffering.
“Damn it.”
Now he couldn’t even be there for her.
Hernia had declared war on Feitan, and the fighting would soon begin.
Whether the king had foreseen this or not, he cast Sionne into the battlefield without hesitation—as if he had only accepted him as prince for this very moment.
No proof, but the suspicion was almost certain.
Even two years earlier, there had been rumors of war with Hernia.
“I can’t even tell her to wait for me, that I’ll return alive…”
Hearing Ariel’s tortured cries, even those words felt selfish.
After a long time, her groans subsided. Soon Nadia stepped outside.
“Lady Nadia.”
“Ah, you’re still here.”
She stepped back as Sionne approached, half in reproach for his lingering.
“I have something to tell you, and I left something inside as well.”
“Something to tell me?”
“Yes. I… will soon be sent to war. I meant to tell El today, but I couldn’t. Could you please tell her I’ll come see her before I leave?”
“I see… Yes, I’ll tell her. And I’ll pray for your safe return as well, Your Highness.”
Nadia offered a bitter blessing for his fortune.
“And this item you left behind—was it important? With the risk of infection, it might be best to throw it away…”
“Ah, no. I left a sword I was granted.”
Before sending him to war, the king had offhandedly bestowed a knighthood upon him, along with that sword.
It wasn’t precious, but losing it would cause trouble.
“A sword…?”
But Nadia’s face went pale. She ran back inside at once.
“El!!”
Her scream rang out.
Clang! At the same time, something heavy fell.
“Ah…”
Looking past Nadia’s shoulder into the room, Sionne was struck speechless.
A bloodied sword lay on the floor, and blood streamed from Ariel’s arm.
“No… El…”
Sionne rushed in, pressing a blanket to the wound. The gash was so deep that even seeing it was painful.
“No, El. No…”
“Ah… Brother.”
Ariel’s one remaining eye sought him.
“It hurts so much…”
“Nadia! Fetch a doctor! In my name—pay whatever it takes!”
He roared at Nadia, who had collapsed to the floor. Jolted by his command, she scrambled out.
But Ariel shook her head violently, screaming.
“No! Don’t go! I don’t want that…”
She began to cry like a child, like the little girl who once wept for her mother.
“Let me go. Please, just let me go…”
“El… no. I can’t let you go like this…”
His vision blurred. Hot tears streamed down his face.
“If you go… if you leave me now… what will I do?”
Was it only his own selfishness that refused to let her go?
“Brother, I’m sorry… but it hurts too much.”
Ariel’s blunt fingers clutched his wrist in a desperate plea.
“I just… want some peace. Even medicine doesn’t ease the pain anymore.”
“Ariel…”
“Please… let me go.”
His wavering hands lost their strength. The wound, no longer pressed, gushed fresh blood.
Long illness corrupts not only the patient, but the hearts of those beside them.
Ariel smiled faintly.
“Ah…”
It was not the face of someone dying. Since their reunion, he had never seen her look like that.
Could death really be greeted with such joy? It was grotesque.
“El… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
At the sight of her smile, Sionne felt as if cold water had been poured over him. He came to his senses and pressed the wound again.
“I can’t let you go…”
“Brother, please…!”
Ariel twisted, struggling to break free of his grasp.
Sionne blocked out her voice, covering his ears. No matter how she thrashed, he held her tighter.
“….”
Gradually, her struggling weakened. But instead of relief, he felt his blood run cold.
“Ariel, stay awake. The doctor will be here soon.”
“I’m sorry… Brother…”
Her voice was faint, on the verge of breaking.
“Damn it, don’t say that.”
He didn’t want to hear her apologize. Ariel was not the one who should be sorry.
But she kept speaking.
“Sometimes I think… maybe it would have been better if we never met again.”
“…”
The more blood poured out, the heavier her body became. No matter how he tried to stop it, it was futile.
“Still… thank you for finding me, Brother…”
“El…!”
Sionne called her name as her eyes closed. But he could no longer meet her blue gaze.
“Ariel!!”
“Your Highness, the doctor—!”
Nadia, arriving too late, collapsed on the spot.
And in Sionne’s arms, Ariel met her end.
The grief of losing someone he loved. The guilt of hesitating for even a moment.
‘Because of me… Ariel died.’
It felt as though his soul had been shattered into pieces.
Yet there was no one in the world who could condemn him. So he had to condemn himself.
And the soul he barely managed to piece together was one already scarred forever with that day’s memory.
* * *
Rosalyn had only listened to the story, yet she felt vividly what Sionne must have endured back then.
And in a way, it comforted her.
The scars they shared gave them both solace, proof that neither of them was alone. It was a strange, almost wondrous thing.
“……”
A moment of silence lingered between them.
“How… did you endure it?”
Rosalyn looked into Sionne’s face as she asked.
She still had not regained the memories of what happened after Nadan’s death. She didn’t know how she had managed to survive it.
Just remembering was painful enough. A past that could never be erased was choking her breath.
“How did you endure it?”
“…I didn’t endure it.”
Sionne lifted the chin that had rested against Rosalyn’s shoulder.
His clouded blue eyes held nothing in them.
They brimmed only with regret for the past and condemnation of himself.
“Strangely enough.”
“……”
“Even after all that, I always wanted to live.”
Sionne spoke with bitter self-mockery.
“Even after killing my sister, after failing to protect my homeland and my knights.”
“Sionne.”
“Look at me. I’m still alive, even after—”
Then Rosalyn seized his face and pulled it toward her.
She didn’t want to hear another word from him. She couldn’t name the emotion, but she only wished he would stop thinking that way.
“?”
Smack. Their lips met.
Sionne’s eyes widened in shock. Before he could even push her away and demand what she was doing, his lower lip was bitten.
“Ugh!”
Her teeth pressed and worried at him until blood welled. The metallic tang passed from mouth to mouth.
Rosalyn’s tongue slowly licked at the torn spot, then she gave him a shallow kiss that ended with a faint click of lips.
“Rosal—”
Sionne began to speak, intending to calm her, but—
