Chapter 38
Chapter 38. Rising Memories (2)
Inside the opened drawer was a pile of miscellaneous documents. They appeared to be a mix of papers, some quite old and worn.
‘Looks like this drawer contains documents from before she lost her memory.’
If that was the case, then the information he was after was likely to be in here.
Analyses of warfronts.
Geographic data on Feitan.
And a string of numbers listed with no explanation.
‘342163478… What is this?’
Sionne traced the digits with his finger, reading them silently. There seemed to be a certain pattern to the repeated numbers.
“!”
A conversation he once had with Rosalyn suddenly flashed through his mind.
‘Rosalyn, what do these numbers next to the text mean?’
He had asked her once while reviewing a document. Occasionally, while reading Hernian script, he had seen numbers written next to certain characters. Since the meaning remained clear without understanding the numbers, he hadn’t paid them much mind—until that moment, when curiosity got the better of him.
‘Hernian script often has similar pronunciations but completely different meanings. So the numbers indicate the origin language to specify the exact meaning and root of the word.’
‘Ancient languages!’
Back then, she had explained that each ancient language was assigned a unique number.
Sionne took out a sheet of paper he had tucked inside his coat and began copying the numbers from the note.
He didn’t know yet if this information was related to Merilyn and Anna, but he had a strong feeling it needed to be deciphered.
‘Why encrypt this part when she left the other important information in plain text?’
The moment he finished copying all the numbers, he put everything back in order and made his way to the library.
* * *
Rosalyn sat at the head of the banquet table with a sullen expression.
“I’m not really a part of Anata, so I don’t think it matters.”
The words she had just heard from Sionne came to mind, souring her mood.
“It sounded oddly like he was drawing a line… or am I imagining things?”
She jabbed at the potato salad in front of her with her fork. The already-mashed potatoes were crumbling even further under her hands.
“Your Grace.”
Meriwood, seated beside Rosalyn, called out to her.
“Is something bothering you?”
“Ah…”
Rosalyn raised her head to her nanny’s voice, letting out a dazed sound. Everyone attending the banquet was watching her closely.
“I just have something on my mind. Please, pay me no attention and enjoy the meal.”
Rosalyn deliberately looked around the room and smiled brightly.
Only then did the quiet murmur return to the banquet hall.
“You still have that habit of ruining your food whenever something troubles you.”
Meriwood commented as she cut into her meat and brought it to her mouth.
“My apologies.”
Having learned table manners from her nanny, Rosalyn felt like she was being scolded. She awkwardly acknowledged her mistake.
“Oh, I didn’t mean it that way. It just brought back some memories.”
Meriwood’s eyes softened as she became lost in thought.
“You always struggled with dining etiquette—both you and Nathan. I suddenly found myself missing those days.”
She tried to keep her voice light, but couldn’t stop the corners of her mouth from dipping as she spoke.
“Nathan…”
Rosalyn repeated the name spoken by Meriwood.
“Ah, anyway. What about Sir Sionne? He looked unwell—has he been examined?”
Meriwood tried to steer the conversation away from the growing tension.
But her efforts were futile. Rosalyn was no longer hearing her words.
“Nathan… Mason…”
Beep—
A sharp throb pressed down on her skull, as if someone were driving a thumb into it. A series of urgent, vivid scenes flashed through her mind.
It was unreal. Just hearing the name “Nathan” brought back all of her memories of him.
Meriwood’s one and only son.
Her childhood friend, who had been with her even during the time she had no memory.
Her comrade-in-arms on the battlefield.
“How could I have forgotten Nathan?”
But her question was answered with the final memory that returned.
“The traitor who tried to cut my throat.”
Rosalyn clutched at the scar on her neck, her skin burning with the memory.
Recovering her memories was like opening a searing-hot iron box.
Only after her flesh burned and her bones were exposed did the truth finally come out.
But whether that truth was worth the pain it took to retrieve it… she wasn’t sure.
* * *
She didn’t even know how she had managed to leave the banquet hall. She must’ve given some absurd excuse, but what was it?
‘What kind of expressions did everyone have? What about the nanny…?’
But she remembered none of it. Just holding back the sobs threatening to burst was already taking all her strength.
“Ahhk…”
The moment she stepped out of the banquet hall, Rosalyn let out a choked sob.
All she could do as the crashing wave of memories returned was gasp for air.
“Rose, were you really planning to go alone?”
The day Rosalyn was ordered to wage war against Feitan. Nathan had expressed his dismay, asking if she had meant to leave him behind.
“Don’t be stubborn. If you go too, the nanny will…”
“Don’t use Mother as an excuse. She thinks the same as I do.”
“Be rational, Nathan. Don’t go throwing yourself into war with your meager skills.”
“You seriously… worry in the weirdest way. You just think I’m worse than you. But I’ve never once been told I’m lacking when it comes to swordsmanship, you know.”
Nathan always read between the lines of Rosalyn’s blunt words. The years they spent together let them understand each other without needing to speak it aloud.
Nathan was her brother.
There was no other word to describe the bond between them—a bond she had never even felt with her blood brother, Lucas.
“It’s too late. I already signed up with the conquest unit.”
“Nathan Mason!”
“I mean, honestly, isn’t it unfair? I’ve been serving at your side for decades, and what if someone else steals the closest aide position while you’re off at war?”
“What?”
“And don’t misunderstand me. I’m not going to war because of something cheesy like friendship.”
Through the haze of tears, she could still see Nathan’s bright smile.
“If it’s the conquest unit you’re leading, we’re definitely coming back victorious. Let me earn some merit too.”
He acted indifferent, but those words gave her confidence.
When everyone else predicted the tragic end of a young princess, he alone believed in Rosalyn.
That pure trust had filled her heart—and made her arrogant.
She shouldn’t have let it happen.
The truth was, even then, Rosalyn had known Nathan wasn’t made for war.
He was someone who loved the weak, someone who always tried to do the right thing.
His gentle, kind heart was far too soft to endure the cruelty of war.
‘I should never have brought him…’
But regrets that come too late are powerless. They only serve to remind you how little you can change.
Securing an advantage in war was harder than expected.
Feitan’s resistance was brutal, as if mocking the youthful pride of the two, and though unspoken, everyone was exhausted.
Then one day, the conquest unit was split while fleeing from Feitan’s army.
Rosalyn’s group hid in a nearby forest. They had been told no one lived there, but they were discovered by a family residing in secret.
The group split into two opinions.
“If we kill innocent civilians, we’re no better than savages. If we slaughter them, how could Feitan’s people ever accept us, even if we conquer them?”
Nathan pleaded with Rosalyn to spare the Feitan family.
“We’re leaving tomorrow anyway. Just let them live, Rose.”
“But, Your Grace! We’re currently in hiding. If they report us, it’ll put us in serious danger!”
On the other side, Gilbert insisted they should eliminate the risk and kill them on the spot.
“We absolutely cannot leave behind any threats.”
“……”
At the time, Rosalyn couldn’t side with either of them.
As she agonized, the head of the Feitan family bowed his head to the ground and begged.
“I have a limp, and my wife is mute. Even if we wanted to, how could we slip out of this forest to report you?”
The disabled couple had been living hidden in the woods to escape discrimination from the villagers.
“Please spare us! At least my wife and children!”
The man continued to beg, even as blood streamed from his torn forehead. It ran into his eyes, but he didn’t blink.
“Let’s win them over instead, Rose. If we share a bit of food, they won’t betray us.”
“…Alright.”
“Your Grace!”
In the end, Rosalyn handled the matter the way Nathan had asked.
And it became one of the worst decisions of her life.
