Chapter 54

Episode 54

“She said she would give me what I wanted most.”

“But you turned it down?”

Lydia’s eyes sparkled with genuine curiosity.

As her gaze leaned more toward academic interest, he looked straight into her eyes and spoke in a low, whisper-like voice.

“Because it wasn’t what I wanted most.”

The moment she heard his answer, Lydia tilted her head, lost in another thought, and he had the urge to peek into her mind.

So this time, he asked the question.

In truth, it was unlike him—it slipped out before he even thought about it, almost like an unconscious truth.

“Do you have something you want?”

“Me?”

Lydia was momentarily speechless at the question.

A wish she wanted to fulfill with the power of a spirit, an achievement she wanted to accomplish through that power.

Even when she tried to think of such things, Lydia had no particular desire to use such tremendous power.

Perhaps it was more because she questioned whether it was worth it, considering the price that would inevitably follow.

Even for mages with magic, spirits were notoriously difficult beings to deal with, so few rushed into contracts with them. All the records she had read so far pointed this out.

“It must be your family’s ring, then.”

It wasn’t wrong, but it didn’t feel quite right to say it was what she wanted most.

In fact, she was even surprised to realize that she had completely forgotten about it until he mentioned it.

How could she forget? It was the most important reason she was here.

The problem was that it had become a thing of the past.

She might have been so drawn into everything that she had willingly forgotten the foundation of it all was a “contract.”

With what?

In answer to that question, the blond man sitting across from her came to mind, watching her as if observing.

Even though she had come to that answer herself, the immediacy of it startled her.

“Well, of course I do want that, but……”

Lydia hesitated for a long while.

Ilian was waiting for her answer with unusual patience, as if he truly wanted a clear reply.

But Lydia really couldn’t define what it was that she wanted.

Maybe it was the fear of being hurt by facing it head-on.

Maybe this state—where she took no step forward—felt safer than stepping ahead and potentially falling off a cliff.

She just wanted everything to remain still like this. So she wouldn’t have to worry about a tangled, suffocating future—just like this.

“……I don’t know. Maybe that’s why the spirit wasn’t greedy to make a contract with me.”

It was a truly pitiful conclusion.

Why was she so lacking in courage that she had to speak so indirectly?

She had thought that before it was too late, she should at least once face where her heart was heading and how heavily it leaned.

But again and again, she wished that now wouldn’t be the time.

She didn’t want to do anything that would break this stable state.

“……Yeah. I suppose so.”

Then came Ilian’s voice through the silence. Though his tone was calm, it felt low and heavy.

His clear blue eyes stared at her unwaveringly, in contrast to the overcast sky of the rainy weather.

Somehow, they looked insistent—like he was stubbornly waiting for an answer—and Lydia couldn’t bear to keep meeting those eyes.

She fidgeted with the empty cup still in her hand and abruptly stood up.

“It’d be silly to keep asking for the ring, wouldn’t it? We made a deal, after all. I’ll be able to get it after a year. Or rather, now it’s……”

“You’ll get hurt if you touch it like that.”

As she reached for the kettle, needing to pretend to do something now that she had stood up, he stopped her hand before she even realized he had moved.

Lydia looked up at him, surprised to find he was already standing. The unintended result was that the distance between them had shrunk.

Ilian didn’t let go of her hand. But more importantly, Lydia didn’t want him to.

“I’m not that careless.”

“I know.”

He did know.

In truth, even without Ilian fussing over her like this, Lydia wasn’t the type to get into trouble.

Even when she faced difficulties, she wasn’t someone who would easily ask for help or express her struggles.

She had always been like that—assessing situations and moving on her own.

Even if Ilian hadn’t been in the place where she thought she needed him, she was someone who could have overcome it on her own.

It was he who wanted to find a space to squeeze into Lydia’s life, even just a little, by having her rely on him. He wanted to be the one closest to her.

“I’m doing this because I want to.”

I want you to look at me naturally. And when you do, I want to always be right there. I truly wanted that.

“Why?”

Using their closeness as an excuse—and this space, where it felt like they were the only two in a world without interference—Lydia cautiously took a step she had long hesitated to take.

“Because you’ve become more important to me than anything else.”

Hearing those words with her eyes closed shook her more than she had expected.

Only then did she realize her eyes were shut.

As she opened them slowly, Ilian was still gazing at her, as if he had never once looked away.

Lydia watched as he lifted her hand and placed his lips on her palm.

As always, with their touch came a faint sigh that seemed mixed with release and relief.

Even the breath tickling her palm made Lydia freeze in the thunderbolt of realization.

Ah, that’s right.

She mustn’t be mistaken.

It was because she was his salvation that he had no choice but to act this way.

All the courage she had just begun to muster vanished like it had never existed. The small hope that had quietly formed—assuming the curse would be lifted and wanting something beyond that—dissolved before it could take shape.

Would he still look at her like this, then?

Even when there would be no reason to care about Lydia anymore, no reason to look at her.

“I’m glad I could become someone important to you, My Lord.”

The reason she could monopolize so much of Ilian’s time like this, the reason that opportunity came about, was entirely because of her ability—and because he needed it.

It was only natural.

From the beginning, being someone “important” to him was inherently limited to the present.

“Lydia.”

Ilian knew that whenever Lydia called him that way, she always had a reason.

At first, he thought it was just a slip of the tongue, but now he knew better.

Whenever she wanted his full attention, had a complaint, or experienced a sudden, indescribable shift in feelings, she would stop calling him by name.

“What’s wrong?”

He rubbed his cheek with a deeply furrowed brow—he was someone suffering from the curse. So it had been her own mistake to interpret his words so heavily. She had twisted them, hearing only what she wanted to hear.

“It’s nothing.”

“It doesn’t seem like nothing.”

“I just… wish this time could last forever.”

With nowhere left to retreat, Lydia bowed her head and leaned her forehead against his chest, hiding her face.

Even so, she was sure of one thing—she would miss this time dearly.

“Nothing has to change. Just like this.”

His hand fell on her shoulder and drew her into a full embrace.

Even if he was jumping ahead in assumption by glimpsing just a fragment of her heart, it didn’t matter. If Lydia said she wanted things to stay this way, he truly didn’t want to change anything.

“Nothing stays the same.”

Lydia feared nothing more than facing his changing gaze and attitude.

No—what she truly feared wasn’t even confronting her still-confused heart that was just now becoming aware of itself.

What terrified her most was the inevitable change in her relationship with Ilian. Facing that reality was what she feared most.

A reality that would render every assumption they held meaningless.

“Why would you say that?”

“Ilian, from the very beginning……”

Clatter—

Lydia’s resigned words were cut off as she shook her head and stepped away from him, causing Ilian’s sword to fall with a clatter to the floor.