Chapter 87

A plant unknown even to the empire’s renowned pharmacists and collectors.

And a machine that Hans, clearly connected to Jane, was desperately seeking parts to build.

A very small, extremely precise device specialized for injecting something.

And even movements to recruit personnel within the family.

Several pieces that seemed to have no connection.

However, even a passing monkey could notice that Jane was plotting something from just that.

“Sigh.”

Riina let out a deep sigh from within.

Her plan to entrust the family to Jane and leave remained unchanged.

But she couldn’t foolishly suspect the sinister movements stirring within her shadow with thoughts like ‘surely not?’ or ‘maybe?’ and then dismiss them with ‘ah, probably not.’

“The Third Prince has also latched on.”

Didn’t she already know how persistent that guy was in his greed despite being incapable?

Moreover, there was his track record of unhesitatingly abandoning the staggering, collapsing Riina before regression and running straight to Jane.

Though the Third Prince might not know other things, he was excellent at sticking his head into people or situations that might be helpful to him.

The problem was that he lacked ability, so after sticking his neck out, he never accomplished anything properly.

“If a guy who has an amazing sense for sniffing out useful things has contacted Jane multiple times…”

It was nothing but troublesome.

At least she should be grateful that there were no grounds yet to suspect Jane’s loyalty to the family.

“Whew.”

Riina shook her head after sighing again.

Properly educate Jane to bring her up to pre-regression levels, then leave the family and live quietly and freely.

It was something that could be summarized in one sentence, yet why were there so many obstacles?

“Rather, life before regression was much simpler.”

Back then, like a racehorse with blinders on both sides, she had charged forward seeing only Bolshevik and Smith, so handling all matters was extremely simple.

And the reason it could be so simple was Riina’s ability, gained through years of desperately trying to become Bolshevik’s proud next duke while bleeding from her nose.

“Really, in such useless places…”

Riina muttered with a dry laugh, then shut her mouth tight.

The fine hairs on the back of her neck stood up at the cool breeze brushing her cheek.

Someone was there.

And they had made enough presence known for her, who had no connection to swordsmanship, to notice.

If it was someone skilled enough to infiltrate deep into this Bolshevik estate without anyone knowing, or was it someone lacking skill?

Something was strange, but she instinctively reached for the safety device located under her chair.

But the intruder’s reaction was far faster than expected.

“Oops, it would be troublesome if the alarm system activated.”

Familiar warmth overlapped her hand, and a low voice seeped into her ear.

The intruder’s name flowed between Riina’s parted lips.

“Einar?”

Einar, who had embraced her from behind as if holding her, slowly pulled down Riina’s hand that had been about to press the alarm.

“Could I have a moment of your time?”

Along with the low voice, his breath tickled her ear.

Riina reflexively opened her mouth, but no words came out.

Only empty breath flowed out.

She didn’t want to face Einar alone right now.

Yet she also wanted to face him.

She knew what this contradictory feeling was.

Even while being drawn to him, even while knowing the way he looked at her.

She pushed him away and turned her back.

How much time passed like that, with each second feeling like a thousand years to both of them?

“Whew.”

As a light sigh leaked between Einar’s lips, Riina squeezed her eyes shut and opened them.

“Ei…”

Before she could finish calling his name, her view suddenly rose higher.

Einar, who had familiarly lifted her up, crossed the dim room and seated her on the sofa.

Gripping the armrests of the sofa with both hands and looking down at her, Einar’s eyes met with Riina’s as she slowly raised her head.

The moment the gray sky sank deep, deeper, becoming no longer sky but an unfathomable abyss.

Blue pulsations raced across it, surging up, higher up.

Then Einar’s eyebrows shot up.

Even though they were facing each other, even though he had trapped her between his arms.

Yet still, he couldn’t grasp her.

Would he reach her if he extended his hand?

Would he catch her if he offered his hand?

Before he could give an answer, Einar was already reaching toward Riina.

His fingertips moved slowly as they carefully swept aside the red hair that had fallen onto her round forehead.

The large hand that brushed down from her forehead, caressed her eyes, then cupped her cheek.

Riina couldn’t exhale and only swallowed inward.

The tingling when his fingertips brushed her was too vivid to dismiss as mere imagination.

The eyes that trembled finely each time his breath touched her, and the slowly heating breath as well.

Not all of it could be mere imagination.

Riina simply closed her eyes instead.

And there was no way Einar, who had never once taken his eyes off her, wouldn’t notice such subtle reactions.

“Why?”

Though it was a question without context, Riina didn’t bother asking what he meant.

He was asking because he too had noticed that she was wavering.

But why push away?

Why run away while doing this?

Riina, who had kept her mouth tightly shut, eventually groped for his hand and slowly opened her eyes.

In his eyes and in hers too.

In the moment when each held only the other completely and even their breathing quieted.

“Because I’m scared.”

Riina’s sincere words flowed out calmly.

She didn’t hide it. She didn’t speak in roundabout ways.

She simply brought out the answer that had been pooled inside her with a calm, dry voice, step by step.

“Love. That scares me. The love I do scares me.”

Saying the same thing several times, Riina laughed emptily.

The reason she pushed Einar away and erected walls even while her heart leaned toward him wasn’t vague or half-hearted.

It wasn’t the lukewarm things she had thought of initially, like not having the luxury or it not being the right time…

She was a failure.

Her entire life had been like that, and regarding love, she had failed even more miserably.

And when it came to love, it had fallen apart because of herself, not her misfortune.

They say there’s no grave without an excuse.

Countless reasons could be attached to her failure.

But setting aside all of those things, Riina’s love had fallen apart miserably anyway.

Since it had been twisted from the very beginning, it would have been difficult to bear proper fruit.

“I already have a track record once. I told you everything about what kind of end I met because of it.”

She had confessed everything to Einar.

What kind of life she had lived before regression and what kind of death she had met.

How could she forget?

How could she miss even a single word?

But…

Einar shook his head and opened his mouth.

“It’s different from then.”

Riina covered Einar’s mouth with her hand.

She smiled while feeling the sharp pain ringing in her heart.

“It’s different. I know.”

The love that had blindly followed Smith and made him the center of the world was completely different from now.

“But Einar, the only difference between then and now is that you’re not Smith.”

Before regression, she had been unlucky and unhappy, so she had to cling to anyone, anything.

And she had obsessed over, clung to, and depended on her partner terribly.

In a life where she had never once succeeded, Riina, who had hoped for success, had been tormented by anxiety that if she didn’t do even that, the ground beneath would collapse at any moment.

And now.

Wasn’t it ridiculous?

While resolving to live a completely different life from before regression.

While thinking she would no longer hope for success and just quietly embrace her own small failures alone and live freely.

She was already depending on Einar more than necessary.

Hadn’t they become excessively intimate for a relationship bound only by a contractual engagement as the price of a bet?

Riina placed her hand on Einar’s heart and lowered her eyes.

Shadows swayed on her white cheeks as her long eyelashes fluttered.

“I’m not foolish enough to repeat the same mistake.”

Though she was a coward too scared to even begin.

“Riina.”

The sincerity underlying Einar’s calm—no, seemingly indifferent—voice as he called her mercilessly shook Riina’s heart.

Though not all of his good fortune worked on her, wasn’t it different from before regression when everything failed despite going back and forth?

So it might be okay to try.

Einar’s good fortune.

That’s how she could think of it.

Wasn’t it an easy path?

Before Einar could open his mouth, Riina spoke first.

“Even if you say you’ll accept everything, it won’t work.”

Yes. Even if her love became distorted—no, sprang out in its original form to bind him and drag him into a swamp.

Even so, he would accept it.

Wasn’t that what love was?

Even if the moment came when Riina wouldn’t step a single foot out of his embrace, only looked at him, only spoke to him, and couldn’t even breathe without his help.

Einar would willingly endure it.

And someone might look at the two of them and call it true love.

But…

“I don’t want to be like that.”

Riina whispered with a smile as if about to cry.

“Because I want to stand on my own feet and become properly… free.”