Chapter 121
The fact that it was Riina’s warmth that now filled his hand.
“Ah.”
He sighed briefly without realizing it.
That alone was enough.
She didn’t squeeze his hand or move closer to him, but she didn’t push his hand away or forcefully withdraw her own.
She didn’t step back to avoid him.
She wasn’t pushing him away like before.
She, who had covered his mouth before he could confess his overflowing sincerity.
She, who had seemed like she would never allow anyone by her side.
Riina…
Einar felt a tingling sensation at the nape of his neck from the rising satisfaction.
His palm, where it touched hers, couldn’t possibly be burning, yet it felt hot, as if on fire.
From there, the heat swirled from his fingertips to his toes in an instant, burning his heart and making his head boil.
He was helplessly swept away by a sensation he had never experienced before.
He wanted to confess right away.
He wanted to cry out, cutting open his chest and taking out his heart if necessary, begging her to understand.
I love you.
I want to be by your side.
Stay by my side.
These were his feelings for Riina, whose overflowing sincerity had been blocked by her when he tried to reveal it.
He had thought he could wait until she was ready to accept it.
Einar was like that.
He had never once had to make an effort to get what he wanted.
Everything he wanted immediately fell into his hands, so eventually, he stopped wanting things.
But then he met Riina.
The only person who wasn’t swayed by ‘luck,’ who stood alone with her head held high and her back straight.
And so he alone could instinctively recognize:
That she, in a different way from him, refused to be entangled in anything.
From the resignation in those glass-like blue eyes to the knife-sharp mockery spreading across her lips as she spoke of absurd things.
How could he not reach for her?
If he didn’t hold onto this unique woman, whom else should he hold?
So he should have realized from the beginning.
That he couldn’t let go of her, who had declared she would put everything down and leave.
Yes. He should have known.
Just the fact that she hadn’t withdrawn her hand made him this happy.
Really, just for something like this…
Like a five or six-year-old child, simply holding hands with the person he liked made his heart not only swell but pound as if it would burst.
Recognizing his state properly, he felt beyond ridiculous—it was almost shameful.
He covered his eyes with one hand and swallowed a faint groan, while Riina waited for him, who had suddenly fallen silent, and looked up with a puzzled expression.
“Einar?”
But there was no answer, and for some reason, the tips of his ears were turning red.
Was there something in their conversation that could have rendered him speechless, either following “Rather?” or before it?
Riina couldn’t understand his sudden state.
She couldn’t possibly imagine that he would become flushed to the tips of his ears just from holding hands.
After waiting a bit longer for him to speak, Riina asked, truly wondering:
“Are you in pain?”
That couldn’t be possible.
‘You’ve never even caught a cold?’
‘That’s right. I’ve never stubbed my toe on a corner or cut my hand on paper. I only know from hearsay that it stings when something gets in your eye.’
Born with exceptional physical abilities and heaven-sent luck, he was nearly invincible.
From minor scratches too trivial to call injuries to wounds one might sustain in training or minor battles—all were distant concerns for him.
Since he had never tried drinking poison, no one knew if he was truly invincible, but there was no reason to try, so he might as well be.
‘Really.’
‘Does that sound obnoxious? But if you catch a cold, I could take it from you. Without any worries.’
‘What does that mean?’
He smiled and leaned down to whisper in her ear.
‘They say a cold is…’
Before the rest of the memory could surface, Riina cut it off, her cheeks faintly flushing. Trying to ignore this fact, she asked once more.
“Are you hurt?”
She had to ask, even knowing the answer would certainly be no.
After all, he had been avoiding her gaze for too long.
If that’s how it’s going to be, he could at least let go of her hand.
No, don’t let go, just look at me.
No, what am I thinking right now!
After realizing she couldn’t simply hand over the family to Jane and leave in search of freedom, what followed was, absurdly, not relief at being able to remain in the Bolshevik Duchy.
Riina continued to stare at Einar’s still-red ear tips.
It was the fact that she could stay with this man a little longer.
Of course, she hadn’t yet confirmed whether her staying—when she failed at everything she breathed on—was truly right for the Bolshevik Duchy.
She hadn’t received the documents that required her father, the Duke of Bolshevik’s, permission to view.
Her father, who had gone to the Imperial Palace after receiving an urgent summons from His Majesty the Emperor, hadn’t returned to the Bolshevik estate at all.
It seemed likely related to those ‘suspicious groups from foreign countries.’
Whether consciously or unconsciously, her thoughts had drifted away from Einar, but they returned to him at a single word from his lips.
“Hand.”
“Hand? What about your hand?”
Riina’s eyes widened slightly at his answer.
Instead of the expected “I’m not in pain,” his response referred to a specific body part.
Could he really be in pain?
Given her faith and trust in his luck, it should be impossible, but since the heart doesn’t always follow logic, Riina urgently lifted their joined hands to examine them.
His much larger hand, with fingers intertwined with hers, was rough and slightly cold.
“Your hand is cold. Are you getting chills…?”
“No. It’s because I’m nervous.”
Before Riina could finish, Einar’s low voice, mixed with what might have been a groan or a laugh, resonated.
“What? Nervous? Why nervous?”
She heard him, but couldn’t readily understand.
What could possibly make him nervous here?
And does anything exist that could make him nervous enough for his hands to turn cold?
Could someone who never fails at anything and never gets hurt by anything experience ‘nervousness’?
In the moment when the confused Riina looked up at him again to express her doubt—
“Einar, for you to be nervous…”
He covered her eyes with the hand that had been hiding his face.
She felt the rough texture against her eyes, and her eyelashes crumpled against his solid palm as she couldn’t close them.
Though her vision went dark, she didn’t feel afraid or the need to back away.
Rather, she felt anxious that she couldn’t see him properly.
As she groped for his hand covering her face with her free hand, Einar whispered in an awkward voice:
“Can we stay like this for a moment?”
His voice lacked its usual composure, causing Riina to pause as she was about to force his hand down.
Since earlier, his ears had turned bright red, his hands had gone cold from nervousness, and she wondered if he was truly in pain somewhere, but now he even covered her eyes, filling her with frustration to the top of her head.
“Are you really feeling unwell somewhere? You said that couldn’t happen.”
“Hmm. If I’m unwell, then yes, I am.”
Feeling her brow furrow against his palm at the ambiguous answer, Einar blurted out before he could stop himself:
“My heart is a bit…”
“What? Your heart?”
At the mention of his heart not being well, Riina’s shoulders jerked.
If the place that had suddenly gone bad wasn’t his hand but his heart, this wasn’t an issue to be taken lightly.
“Remove this hand, please. Your heart? We should call the royal physician first.”
Riina lowered her voice and slapped at his hand covering her eyes, but Einar’s hand didn’t budge.
He even added something more serious than before.
“And I feel a bit dizzy too.”
“Let’s call the royal physician then.”
“That’s not necessary.”
“Whether it’s necessary or not is for the physician to decide. Stop acting like a child.”
At Riina’s words, Einar’s ears turned an even deeper shade of red.
After all, he was indeed acting like a child, just as she said.
“Einar…”
“I’m just so happy to be holding your hand.”
Riina, who was about to call his name in warning, still found his words, flowing into her ear, difficult to understand.
He said he was in pain, then suddenly, hand? Happy to be holding hands? What on earth…
“You didn’t back away or push me away.”
And that’s why his heart ached and his head felt dizzy.
He couldn’t bring himself to add the rest properly, and because of that, Riina belatedly understood what he meant.
“So… you mean…”
Einar’s ear tips were burning, his hands were cold from nervousness, his heart ached, and his head felt dizzy because she remained there holding his hand…
Riina too couldn’t continue her thought and swallowed it down with a dry gulp.
She had tried so hard to remove his hand, but now she was so thankful that she could hide her astonished expression behind that large hand.
And only then, belatedly, did she become aware of his warmth and the hard knuckles of his fingers, causing her cheeks to begin to flush as well.
