Chapter 8: To You Who Have Forgotten Me (5)
“There’s no way you meant nothing.”
The words slipped from his lips in a cold, flat tone, his mouth twisting with faint disdain.
“Everyone seems to think I must’ve been in love with you.”
Everyone who knew him, down to the Emperor himself, spoke of Lea Aynell as if it were a matter of course. Everyone knew about their relationship, even though he himself had no memory of it.
“I thought about it. Wondered if I really did love you.”
Caius looked straight at her. From his slanted lips came an unflinching, cruel response.
“There’s no way I did.”
He had finally realized, during his conversation with the Empress, what that strange sense of déjà vu had been when he first entered the palace.
This must not have been the first time.
The Empress had likely humiliated this woman time and again, waiting to see how he would react. And each time, just as she intended, he had given Lea his attention.
Whether it was out of pity, curiosity, or something else, she had repeatedly caught his eye and perhaps he had mistaken that pitiful feeling for love.
Caius let out a bitter laugh and delivered the final blow with a perfectly composed face.
“If I felt anything for you, it was nothing more than the folly of youth.”
Had he not been so young, it would have been an emotion he simply let pass without meaning. As he reached this conclusion, the weight that had unknowingly settled on his chest seemed to lift.
Lea sat in a daze, her lips trembling as she tried to refute his words.
“No… no, that’s not true. We…”
But she couldn’t continue. Her voice scattered into the air, and her eyes, which had frozen on him, dropped helplessly.
Caius turned his gaze away, indifferent, and looked out the window. When the swiftly changing scenery finally revealed the Crown Prince’s palace, he turned his head back forward. Only then did he notice she was crying. Without a sound, without even a proper expression of sorrow.
His arms crossed, Caius suddenly found himself clenching his fists and furrowed his brow, puzzled by the involuntary reaction. He had no reason to comfort her. In fact, if this caused her to finally let go of her false hopes, then all the better.
Forcing his gaze away, he rose and exited the carriage first.
He gave a curt order to the maid waiting at the entrance: take her to an empty guest room. Then, without a backward glance, he walked away as if his role in all this was now over.
Lea sat in the guest room with a hollow expression, staring blankly at the table in front of her. Her vacant eyes wandered aimlessly over the grain of the ebony wood. Her heart felt empty, yet her thoughts still circled around Caius as if by habit.
His words replayed in her head again and again, crowding out everything else.
The day they first met. The moment they shared their wounds with one another. The certainty she’d felt that his heart mirrored her own.
The days they had embraced and kissed… all of it so vivid, and yet he had cast it all aside with one cruel denial.
And she couldn’t refute it, not entirely, because she was afraid. Afraid that if he said it again, that he had never loved her, she wouldn’t be able to withstand it.
Just recalling those words made it hard to breathe. Lea’s lips twitched as she forced herself to take a breath. She knew she couldn’t expect him, memoryless as he was, to feel the same as before. She knew it.
But accepting it… that was something else entirely.
Slowly pulling the shawl tighter around her shoulders, Lea turned to the window. The afternoon sun was beginning to set.
* * *
“It must be the Empress’s doing. Otherwise, His Majesty would never change his mind so suddenly.”
It had been exactly one week since the commotion, when a message from the Emperor arrived unexpectedly at the imperial palace.
Whether he had heard about the incident at the West Palace or had simply been swayed by the Empress’s sweet words, the Emperor had abruptly brought up the matter of Caius’s engagement again. He hadn’t explicitly ordered a breakup. Rather, the message subtly asked how Caius intended to proceed with the engagement to the princess.
Given the Emperor’s usual temperament, this was strange. If he had heard something he didn’t like, he would’ve demanded the engagement be broken off without hesitation. In fact, it was strange that he had ever approved of the engagement in the first place.
“My Lord, what will you do?”
Victor sighed in frustration, then cautiously posed the question. Caius, lost in thought, recalled the recent events.
There was no need to confirm it. The Empress had clearly been the one to whisper in the Emperor’s ear. True to her cunning nature, she must have realized that Lea no longer held any meaning to him. Or perhaps this was just her way of testing his intentions.
Unlike the uneasy Victor, Caius stood still, calmly analyzing the situation like someone detached from it all.
Victor continued, his words grating on the ears.
“But still, you’ve shared years with Lady Lea. And more than that… if you break off the engagement now, the Empress will no doubt try to attach someone from another family to you.”
Victor had a point. With the Empress now involving the Emperor, Caius had no choice but to decide.
Should he proceed with the breakup as planned, or prolong the meaningless engagement a little longer?
Caius’s quiet, steely-blue eyes stared out the window, then slowly drifted into empty space. His thoughts turned to the woman still staying somewhere within the Crown Prince’s palace.
The pale woman who couldn’t stop crying, ruined and broken.
Allowing her to remain in the palace was merely a small gesture of consideration after what she had gone through. It held no deeper meaning. Had it been anyone else, he would have offered the same courtesy. In time, she would return to the detached palace, locked away once more like the hostage she was.
Even without the Empress’s interference, Caius had always planned to end the engagement.
“Do you truly intend to break off the engagement with Lady Lea?”
Victor asked again, studying Caius’s expression. After a long silence, Caius finally replied quietly.
“…We’ll see.”
Victor, expecting a cold, decisive answer, was about to sigh out of habit then froze, eyes widening.
“Pardon? What do you mean…?”
Caius stood tall, his sharp gaze piercing past the wide garden.
In matters of royal marriage, the Empress held the final say. If he openly declared his intention to end the engagement, she would simply select another woman and push her into his life.
Better, then, to keep Lea by his side even as a temporary illusion.
She wasn’t a citizen of the Empire, nor did she have any powerful backing. That made her the easiest to manage and the easiest to discard. There would be no repercussions to deal with once she was gone.
At least until he officially ascended the throne as crown prince, he needed to keep the Empress and her allies blind to his true intentions.
In the meantime, he could seek out a more suitable family behind the scenes. Ending the engagement could wait until all the pieces were in place.
Caius crossed his arms lazily and gave a detached order.
“Inform His Majesty. I’ll be visiting the palace soon with the princess.”
* * *
The slanted rays of the summer morning sun poured in. Having barely slept through the night, Lea stood blankly by the window.
The season in which she had first met Caius had returned. Of all seasons, Lea loved this dazzling summer the most. The deep blue sky. The warmth that wrapped around her body. The gently flowing stream imbued with sunlight. Everything about this season reminded her of him.
As she opened the hinged window wide on both sides, a warm breeze drifted in and made her hair flutter. Lea slowly closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to forget the faint headache that pulsed at her temples.
“Lady Lea, may I come in?”
At the appointed hour, a maid knocked on the door with a basin of washing water. Lea, her eyes heavy with fatigue, answered a beat too late.
“Yes, come in.”
After washing her face and body with the maid’s assistance, she headed to the dressing room. She slipped out of her nightgown and changed into her daywear. The maid quickly arranged her hair.
Lea silently entrusted her head to the maid’s hands. The only sound filling the small room was the gentle brushing of hair being neatly combed. Someone arrived in the bedroom just as she finished dressing and rose to her feet.
“Lady Lea, His Highness the First Imperial Prince has come to see you.”
At the attendant’s words, something akin to expression gradually returned to Lea’s previously vacant face.
Though she had been staying at the prince’s palace since the banquet, she hadn’t seen Caius again.
Why had he come now? Unconsciously, Lea clenched her hands. Just a few days ago, his visit would’ve made her happy but now, it filled her with unease.
Only when she sensed a gaze questioning why she was just standing there did she finally start to move.
Caius was waiting for her in the parlor.
Sitting on the sofa, his head slightly bowed, he lifted only his gaze when she entered the room. His unique bluish-gray eyes, subtly different from the last time she saw him, immediately took her in.
Lea, hiding her tension as best she could, sat down across from him. He opened the conversation in a flat tone.
“Pardon the intrusion.”
Had he come to speak about breaking off their engagement? The sudden thought made Lea feel faint.
It was the only reason she could imagine for Caius to seek her out now.
“…What brings you here?”
Swallowing her rising dread, Lea lowered her gaze. Unlike her tense demeanor, Caius remained utterly composed.
“I’ve come to make you a proposal.”
His opening was different from what she’d expected. Only then did Lea lift her eyes to meet his. Without giving her time to think, he continued.
“Stay in your position as my fiancée. I’ll treat you as I used to.”
The abruptness of it made Lea’s dimmed eyes widen slightly. Her violet irises quivered, soon tinged with confusion.
Emotionless eyes. A voice devoid of even the smallest trace of affection.
Caius’s expression was no different from the last time she had seen him.
So why was he saying such things now?
