Chapter 6
Noah Ashford was well aware of his circumstances.
He was an illegitimate child, born from an affair forbidden in Wifland, and carried the original sin of nearly killing someone by accident.
Because he had grown up fully understanding his position, the moment Scarlett recognized him, Noah knew the inevitable had arrived.
“Did you think forgiveness would come easily?”
Forgiveness. The more he rolled the word around in his mouth, the more the weight hidden in it froze his tongue.
Scarlett’s eyes blazed coldly with fury—an icy fire burning bright.
She demanded that Noah stay by her side and attend to her needs around the clock. And to that, Noah replied:
“If I’m allowed to, I’ll gladly do so.”
Still, he doubted such devotion would earn him forgiveness.
Scarlett White’s health was worse than expected. The rumors that she’d become reclusive due to illness seemed true. She was constantly seeking medicine and often struggled with hyperventilation.
“I was worried I’d make you uncomfortable. If I’m around all day… I thought it might be harder for you.”
“We’ll see who finds it harder, you or me. And just so you know, the villa I live in is a mansion with twenty-four rooms. I’ll give you the attic room at the top—you won’t have to see my face.”
Noah’s expression cracked ever so slightly, as if he were desperately trying to understand her.
The carriage rolled smoothly along the paved road. Scarlett never once turned from the window, and Noah kept his eyes fixed on the floor.
No matter how hard life may be, time moves forward unrelentingly. So, to move ahead, one had to accept the hardships the world throws their way.
That was why Noah could endure this level of suffering—if it meant easing the deep guilt he carried toward Scarlett.
No, compared to what he had already endured, this wasn’t even suffering.
What will become of me now?
He thought things might improve once he started living as Theo Grisham, but that hadn’t really been the case.
He’d at least hoped to finish his studies, but even that now depended on Scarlett’s mood. And to Scarlett, his future didn’t matter.
She was dying. Her illness was written all over her face. To someone in such a state, the life of someone she hated more than an enemy surely meant nothing.
As Noah silently sorted through his thoughts, Scarlett warned him:
“If you’re thinking of doing anything to me, you’d better not. My will has already been written, and the villa is filled with professional bodyguards and servants. You just need to be a loyal servant. Bring me what I ask for. Throw away what I tell you to.”
Noah had no interest in the White family’s wealth. He had no intention of threatening Scarlett. He only wanted to stay by her side and listen to her fury.
Though he had no part in how things had happened, the sins of his mother were his own. And it was true that his very existence caused Scarlett pain.
“Alright.”
“You’re agreeing so easily. Do you even know what I might ask you to do?”
“Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter.”
“Even if I told you to kill someone?”
“Would that ease your anger? Would it be redemption?”
Noah didn’t want to commit a crime—not because it was immoral, but because it would leave a permanent stain on his life, one that would haunt his every step.
“Then what do you think you should do? What would ease my rage?”
Noah couldn’t say what he truly thought.
He feared that if he said he’d offer her his heart, Scarlett might actually find a way to make that real.
The truth was, he wanted to atone—but he didn’t want to give up everything. He couldn’t.
He was deeply attached to his life, filled with ambition to succeed one day. He could give Scarlett part of his time, but not the roots of his existence.
After a moment of hesitation, he answered:
“It’s okay if you don’t forgive me. Just act in a way that brings you peace.”
“You mean that? That I should do what’s best for me?”
“We’re…”
He couldn’t say the White family had no part in his life. He’d lived in their shadow all his life. So he resented them too.
But on that first day in Iodes, when he saw Scarlett’s face—pale as death—Noah realized what his mother had done.
Scarlett looked fragile, as if the slightest nudge would break her. Somehow, he must have contributed to her suffering.
“We’re half-siblings.”
“Exactly. You’re my brother. That’s why I’m trying to forgive you. When I die, my death—and your existence—will become the seed of conflict. So I have no choice but to forgive you. We’ve arrived. Get out.”
The carriage stopped. Noah had never seen such a place in the capital.
Beyond the vast lawn and garden stood a mansion so grand it might as well have been a castle. And to think the Whites called it merely a “villa.” Their wealth was palpable.
“My lady, you’ve come early. Are you feeling unwell?”
A maid came running from inside. Her concern turned to horror when she spotted Noah.
“He looks just like Julia Ashford.”
“My lady, how could you bring that man into this house!”
“This villa is mine. Who I let into my house is none of your concern?”
“What if others find out?”
“That’s why I replaced the old staff. Even if my siblings hear of it, it’s my business, not theirs.”
“What are you thinking?”
“I’m tired. I’m going to rest. Wake me when dinner’s ready. And find him a decent attic room.”
Scarlett handed Noah off to the maid, Marie, and went to her room. As soon as she was gone, Marie muttered:
“How could she bring such low-born blood into this house…”
Forgiveness.
It was something Noah Ashford desperately needed. Those who knew the scandal surrounding the name “Ashford” never hesitated to curse him for it.
So maybe, if she forgave him, something might change. At the very least, he’d feel less guilty. At most, his life could turn around.
He wanted to change his life. He didn’t want to remain at the bottom of society.
Yes. Saying it was okay not to forgive him had been a lie. More than anyone, Noah needed forgiveness.
“Wifland doesn’t recognize bastards. So if you’re hoping for any scraps to fall your way, give up now.”
“Madam, all I want is for Scarlett to feel at ease.”
Wifland did not recognize illegitimate children. It often erased them entirely.
They were considered the result of sin—born against the will of God. Especially Noah Ashford, who was the bastard child of a woman often called a gold-digging harlot.
“Someone like you belongs in a pigsty forever!”
A childhood friend had screamed that after discovering Noah’s origins.
He carried the shame of that day with him. It was a feeling that couldn’t be described in a few words. It shook him to the core.
“Hmph! Sweet-talking nonsense. Follow me.”
As Scarlett had promised, Noah was given the most secluded attic room. Not long after, his belongings were brought from his home. After unpacking, evening fell.
That was when a piercing scream echoed from downstairs—Scarlett’s voice.
“Does that even make sense to you?!”
The sound of something breaking followed. Shards of glass scattered on the floor. Marie now faced Scarlett with a completely different expression than the one she’d given Noah.
“Why can’t he come here—it’s the same city! He’s a doctor! I told you to bring him here! No matter the cost!”
“He’s quite old, miss. Traveling all the way here is difficult for him. Please, calm down.”
“Calm down? What if I collapse again? That young one here is a complete quack. Are you sure he’s even a real doctor?”
“He’s a reputable man. Please, miss, you’ll pass out again!”
“Isn’t that what you want? For me to die… Haa… haa!”
“M-my lady!”
Noah quickly found Scarlett’s bag and retrieved her medicine, placing it in her mouth. Once she swallowed it, the signs of a seizure began to fade. Marie helped her to her room.
“You. My lady says to follow her.”
Noah entered Scarlett’s room.
It was as vibrant as her red hair, with an especially grand canopy bed.
Lying on the bed, Scarlett didn’t look his way. She stared at the ceiling and spoke:
“How do you feel?”
“…Are you okay?”
“I asked how you feel.”
“…I’m sorry.”
In the past, his existence nearly killed an innocent child. Now, that same existence dragged her into hell.
Scarlett was both his past and his present—clinging to his ankles, erasing his now.
“I’ll tell you what you need to do. There’s a book on the nightstand. Read it aloud until I fall asleep.”
Noah glanced at the book. A trace of confusion crossed his face.
It was a children’s storybook, worn from use and clearly printed over thirty years ago.
“What are you waiting for? Start reading.”
Noah opened the book. His dry throat rasped as he began:
“…This wondrous and mysterious adventure took place long, long ago.”
His soft but steady voice filled the room—slow, calming, as if soothing her rage.
But soon, Scarlett interrupted.
“Read it with more life.”
“Louisa couldn’t misinterpret what Daniel said, so—”
“It’s understand, not misinterpret. You can read, can’t you?”
Why did she make him read a book she’d clearly memorized?
Even being in the same room seemed to burden her.
To Noah, Scarlett didn’t seem strong. She was stubborn, but frail. Not rational enough to overcome her emotions.
“Because she couldn’t understand, Louisa asked him to repeat it again.”
Scarlett was like fire—fiery red like her hair, and bound to extinguish once there was nothing left to burn.
Noah had seen many like her in the slums. They all met similar ends.
If her story ended in tragedy, it would be because of him. And then he’d forever be trapped in the past, clawing for escape.
He couldn’t let that happen. He had to move forward.
So he read with care. To add life, he mimicked a stage actor. All the while, he occasionally checked on Scarlett.
When her breath grew steady and soft, he paused his reading. But then—
“Why’d you stop? I’m still wide awake.”
“Sorry. I thought you were asleep.”
“You’ll know when I’m asleep.”
“…How?”
A bitter smirk formed on her pale lips. Lying still with her eyes closed, Scarlett looked so pale she seemed almost blue.
The only vitality left in her was the flame-like red of her hair.
“Just read.”
“…Angrily, Louisa demanded, ‘Why do I have to go on this adventure with Daniel? I—’”
The story continued. Night fell as even hunger faded away.
Scarlett still couldn’t sleep. She sighed into her pillow and tossed in bed.
Meanwhile, Noah kept reading, voice growing hoarse. Under the dim lamp, he finally finished Volume 1 of The Adventures of Daniel and Louisa.
Scarlett, exhausted, sat up weakly. She rummaged in the drawer, took some pills, and swallowed them.
“Do you know why I asked you to read that book?”
“It seemed like something you read when you were little.”
“Right. My older siblings used to take turns reading it to me.”
Her red hair curled over her shoulders as her gaze landed on the worn book.
“They used it before I did. John told me our parents read it to them at bedtime. But I had no parents—so my siblings read it to me. Tonight, you were my father.”
Noah realized her eyes were the color of ash—grey, burned-out fury.
To have him stand in for the parents she lost because of him—what cruel revenge.
And Noah knew, without a doubt, this story was headed for tragedy.
