Chapter 5
“What’s with that expression?”
I should be the one feeling wronged.
Muttering to myself, I made my way to the next classroom.
According to the schedule, the next lecture was “World History for the Cultured.” Behind me, Noah Ashford, who had been standing like he was nailed to the ground, followed close behind.
“How did you know…?”
His pale complexion and the creases between his brows finally made me feel like things were starting to even out.
“Why did you show up in front of us?”
Noah Ashford, with his stubbornness and prideful aura, truly resembled her.
His unwavering gaze and his still-youthful, handsome face made that resemblance even stronger.
Objectively speaking, Noah Ashford was quite beautiful. The cool yet gentle aura he carried would be irresistible to girls his age.
But knowing he was the one who killed me, that coolness sent a chill down my spine. That face, those eyes—he killed me.
“I was curious about the person who ruined my body like this. What else would it be? Room 1303—here we are.”
I opened the door and sat somewhere with no available seat beside me, ensuring he couldn’t sit next to me.
His icy gaze locked onto me. I ignored it and greeted the male student sitting beside me.
“Hi. Nice weather, isn’t it?”
“Fall’s almost here. I’m Wilhelm Hoffmann.”
“A Hiberk-style name. Sounds like you’ve got that regional accent, too.”
“Oh, you speak Hiberk?”
“Of course.”
Wilhelm’s eyes widened. He brushed back his thick hair and laughed heartily.
“I’m Scarlett White. If you’ve heard of the White family, that’s the one.”
Wilhelm chuckled, clearly entertained by my comment.
“I already bought the textbook. Want to look at it together?”
“Sure.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Noah Ashford had taken a seat not too far away and was flipping through his book. Occasionally, our eyes met. I forced a vague smile, feigning composure.
The upper hand needs to be mine.
And finally, I’d taken the first step.
When class ended, it was lunchtime.
Wilhelm and I quickly discovered a few things in common—we were both the youngest in large families and neither of us had the slightest interest in business.
Also, Wilhelm wasn’t fluent in Wifland’s language, and I happened to like the language of his home country, Hiberk.
Which meant, really, we could become pretty good friends.
“Hiberk’s so far away, not many people study abroad in Wifland. I never thought I’d meet someone here who could speak Hiberk.”
“My nanny was from Hiberk.”
“Really? Mine was from Wifland.”
It was a trivial exchange, but that little connection shortened the distance between us.
For someone like me, who had lived with only family and never made a real friend, the world outside the house was special.
And Wilhelm—the first friend I’d made—might become more than a little special to me. Especially since I’d never imagined actually going out into the world.
“But who was that guy? He kept sneaking glances at you during the entire lecture.”
“My assigned student helper. Theo Grisham. Theo, this is Wilhelm Hoffmann.”
Noah didn’t even spare Wilhelm a glance. Instead, he said,
“…Can we talk?”
“It’s lunchtime. I’m on medication, so I can’t skip meals.”
I brushed past him with Wilhelm.
Noah grabbed my arm, locking eyes with me. That piercing blue, like the sea and sky combined, made me flinch without realizing. Wilhelm slapped his hand away.
“How dare you.”
In Hiberk, a union of small territories each ruled like tiny nations, the concept of social rank was deeply ingrained. For someone from the Hoffmann estate, “how dare you” came naturally.
“This is between the two of us. None of your business.”
“Don’t touch me!”
A chill like sticking my hand into the jaws of a beast ran through me. I was trembling. The moment he’d hunted me down replayed vividly.
Carrying Isaac, fleeing with blood dripping from my feet—every second still burned in my memory. His touch made my skin crawl. I was terrified.
“Scarlett?”
“What gives you the right… what gives you the right…”
What gives you the right to destroy me like this?
I slapped Noah Ashford across the face.
My body, my mind, my soul were all drowning in remnants of the past.
A mire. Eternal darkness. No way out.
Oh God, please, have mercy on me.
“Scarlett.”
Wilhelm tried to calm me. My heart pounded violently. My chest tightened, and it became hard to breathe. I shoved Wilhelm aside and screamed,
“Don’t touch me!”
Hands shaking, I frantically searched my bag for a sedative. Noah, startled, quickly pulled the medication out and handed it to me.
I chewed the bitter pill and clutched my chest. Dozens of eyes were on me. The shame of losing control like this burned.
“Hah… hah… I’m fine.”
I said I was fine, but Wilhelm’s shocked gaze made me turn away abruptly. I couldn’t bear to imagine what people seeing me like this would think.
Most people wanted one of two things from me: The White family name, or money.
In this world, sincerity held little value.
And they always left, unable to bear my difficult nature and neurotic temper.
I never held onto them.
I had no warmth to offer those who lacked sincerity.
I wouldn’t hold onto Wilhelm either.
The Hoffmann had everything—they weren’t about to cling to me for crumbs.
Even though I hated being touched by the one who killed me, I had no other option. That bitter truth made me bite my lip in frustration.
“You—Theo Grisham. Help me up.”
Noah didn’t hesitate. He swiftly picked me up in his arms.
My body, stiff from all the tension and fear I’d endured that morning, couldn’t even resist.
He carried me to an empty classroom and gently set me down.
“You okay?”
“Do I look okay to you?”
Determined not to appear weak, I straightened my back and stared him down.
Noah Ashford had a resolute posture, a defiant gaze, and a presence that made you feel he’d never back down, no matter the opponent.
No matter how fiercely I glared at him, it felt like I could never reach the depths of whatever lay behind those eyes.
That hopelessness stung like defeat. Tears welled up.
I blinked hard and bit my lip to hold them back. He, flustered, offered a handkerchief.
“I don’t need it.”
Noah tapped his shoe against the classroom floor, choosing his words. But I spoke first.
“Do you pity me?”
There’s nothing more humiliating than being pitied by someone like you.
“I pity you. Mountains of debt, both you and your mother stripped of your status… tsk. Garbage blood.”
Noah’s lips pressed into a line. A furrow formed between his brows.
He looked torn—ashamed, guilty, wounded. But to me, it was laughable.
That that face belonged to the one who murdered me. Who slaughtered Isaac. Who massacred our staff.
“…”
“Are you sorry? Just ashamed? Or are you scared? Afraid of what I might do to you and your mother?”
“Why did you come back… No, why are you even in Iodes?”
“Say it properly. What is it you really want to ask?”
I tried to speak calmly, suppressing my rage, but hysteria leaked into my voice.
Noah took a deep breath and collected himself before speaking again, more composed.
“Why are you here in Iodes? Don’t tell me…”
“You think I came to see you? Don’t flatter yourself. I could bring you to your knees in a dozen ways. Why would I drag this broken body all the way here for you?”
“Then why…?”
I didn’t want to admit I came to keep him under watch. I steadied my breath, masking my pride.
“You saw me. You should be on your knees already. Don’t pretend you don’t know what your mother did with my father.”
“I know. I know… I’m ashamed.”
Noah’s head dropped. He rubbed his forehead and ran his hand through his bright blonde hair.
“What do I have to do… to make things right with you… Damn it.”
With his face in his hands, he didn’t look like the man who’d killed me. That made me even angrier.
He wasn’t groveling. He wasn’t begging to be spared. Just… guilty, for his mother’s actions and his existence.
“Beg.”
I lifted his head to meet my eyes.
“Beg for your mother’s sins. If you don’t, I’ll erase you from this world. I can do that.”
“Would that make you feel better? Would it comfort you?”
“You know… I won’t last another year.”
“What?”
“Thanks to you. My condition has worsened since birth. All because your mother forced a premature birth. Because of her affair. Well… I suppose it wasn’t just her. It takes two. But still, your arrival, your mother’s sin—they’re part of it. So let’s say you carry half the blame for this dying body of mine.”
His face twisted with emotion—so much pain it made me sick.
“Get me some water. That pill upset my stomach.”
“Alright. Just wait here.”
As soon as Noah left, I took more sedatives from my bag. I was sure I’d be killed a hundred times in my sleep tonight unless Marie woke me up.
He returned with water and a cheap piece of bread. I set the bread aside and took a sip of water.
Then I looked at him, standing there like a sinner, and spoke slowly.
“Listen carefully. You have two choices.”
Die now, or die later.
“Live like a dog, my slave. Or earn my forgiveness, and live my life for me.”
Forgiveness? Living for me?
The absurdity of it made me laugh under my breath.
“I don’t get why you’re doing all this. I never imagined asking for forgiveness. Do you think it’ll actually ease your pain?”
“You’re my half-brother.”
“You really… think we’re siblings?”
“You never asked Father?”
“Mr. White only ever said I was his son. Nothing more.”
What kind of life had my father lived, to be called “Mr. White” by the son he raised in place of his real one?
“You are my brother. I found a letter while going through Mother’s belongings. She admitted you were Father’s son.”
Scott had shown it to me after I visited Julia Ashford. He said he’d kept it from me all this time, worried it would hurt me, but he couldn’t hide it anymore.
As much as I didn’t want to admit it… we were siblings.
“Thank God you take after your mother. If you looked like Father, I’d vomit every time I saw you. Now decide. Live like a dog, my slave. Or stay by my side, paying for your sins until the day I die.”
Choose.
Whatever it is… your end is already decided.
