Chapter 4
Every night, those icy blue eyes kill me. I’ve been stabbed five times—air refused to enter my lungs, and even while gasping for breath, I begged.
“Please spare Isaac.”
I don’t know whether Isaac lived or died.
The idea of reversing time is beyond human comprehension. Sometimes, I wonder if the future went on with me dead.
In a world without me, did Isaac survive and grow into an adult?
“Get a grip.”
What matters is how excruciatingly difficult it is to meet Noah Ashford’s gaze. The eyes that killed me are etched vividly in my mind. The murderer who tried to kill Isaac is here.
“You…”
My voice trembled. Stupid Scarlett White!
It was inevitable that he’d become my student assistant the moment I handed money to the dean, but I pretended not to know.
“…You’re my assistant?”
“That’s right. I’ll be with you while you’re at school. I heard your health’s not great. Is there anything I should be careful about?”
“…You…”
You’re the only one I need to be careful of.
“Hm?”
“I can’t stay in direct sunlight for more than ten minutes.”
“I didn’t realize your condition was that bad. You don’t look well. Let’s go inside.”
His eyes, his complexion—completely different from what I saw in my dreams. The word hunt didn’t suit the man standing before me.
Even so, just meeting his gaze made my legs weak. I took a shallow breath and barely managed to speak.
“Just give me my first-class schedule.”
“Oh, right. Here. Your first class is Introduction to Economics.”
He handed me a sheet of paper. The gesture overlapped with how he had swung his knife, and I instinctively flinched. Tears welled up without warning.
Would he kill me again this time? With a knife again? Could I really stop it if I struck first?
Fear made my body sway. Noah Ashford reached out to steady me.
The shock was so intense I let out a scream. He startled and let go of me immediately, then asked reflexively,
“Are you okay? Should I get a doctor—”
“Don’t bother! I know my body better than anyone!”
“Still, if you’re really sick, you should say something. I’m here to help, after all.”
“…Is that all? Don’t you have anything else to say?”
His golden hair gleamed under the sunlight. At a glance, he looked like someone with no reason to kill me.
But his sun-tanned skin told me he spent a good amount of time outdoors—and probably needed money.
Was it for money, then? But why…
Noah Ashford hesitated for a moment before answering.
“…Nice to meet you?”
Were we the type to be happy to meet?
My mind cooled. Courage that hadn’t existed before began to rise—maybe the sedatives were finally kicking in.
Noah didn’t even blink at my sarcasm. He kept his mouth shut in a tight line. When I said nothing else, he finally spoke.
“I’ve saved you a seat. Class will start soon. Let’s go.”
Noah Ashford took the lead. As I followed him, I whispered to myself.
“I need to stay strong. If I collapse, Isaac dies. I have to kill him first. Then everything will be okay.”
At the very least, I won’t die from being stabbed five more times.
I fiddled with the self-defense magic bullet hidden in my pocket. It was custom-made by Scott to look like a pen.
He asked, “So, what made you choose to major in economics?”
“You?”
The tabloids had a field day when the youngest of the elusive White family entered Iodes Academy—especially since I had no presence in high society, nor even any proper rumors.
The Norton Times speculated I was following in my siblings’ footsteps, heading straight into business. People wondered which industry this White would choose.
But my goal was simple: to watch him, and eliminate him when the time was right. No other reason.
“Because economics is fun.”
Noah Ashford replied cynically and opened the classroom door. Dozens of eyes landed on me.
“Teo. Over here.”
Someone familiar with Noah waved from the front. I immediately walked to the back.
“I don’t sit in the front.”
I took a seat in the most secluded corner. Just taking the carriage here had been exhausting enough.
Then Noah Ashford tried to sit beside me—and the thought of it made my skin crawl. I shouted instinctively.
“Don’t think about staying next to me during class!”
My heart pounded in my ears. My hand was trembling. He blushed slightly, as if embarrassed, then asked seriously,
“Sorry. Am I making you uncomfortable?”
“No, no. I’m fine. I’m just nervous today.”
“Maybe you should’ve taken more sedatives.”
“I’ll manage on my own, so stop acting like you know what’s best.”
In the end, he sat right next to me.
My heart was pounding so hard it felt suffocating. I couldn’t focus on anything. The moment I was murdered kept playing on repeat.
Even though I’d taken plenty of sedatives, I couldn’t calm down. My whole body shook, and he cautiously called out,
“White?”
“I’m fine.”
“Do you have your meds with you?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
I could still endure.
John, Aaron, Susan, Scott, Andrew, Abigail, and Isaac.
I silently recited my family’s names. Thinking of their faces brought me a small sense of calm.
But then I looked at the killer’s concerned face—and felt furious at how weak I must be to earn that kind of look.
The professor entered, and class began. Professor Diego checked each student by name and face.
“Scarlett White. Oh, if you’re that White, then you must be Aaron White’s sister.”
“Yes. He’s one of my older brothers.”
“He was an excellent student. I still think Aaron would’ve achieved great things if he had stayed in economic research. It’s a shame he went into corporate work.”
Aaron didn’t like Professor Diego. As a foreigner, Diego was known to be very class-conscious and often treated students differently based on status. He stroked his white beard and looked me over.
“I didn’t know Aaron had such a young sister.”
Before my generation, the White family had no extended relatives. My parents were famously affectionate, so my father Alex White’s affair had once sent shockwaves through the capital.
Few knew the truth about my mother’s premature labor, but anyone who guessed my age would connect it to that incident. So I changed the subject.
“I’ll be sure to send Aaron your regards.”
“Oh, yes. And let him know I really enjoyed the wine he sent last Thanksgiving. I also heard your health isn’t the best—are you doing okay?”
“Yes, don’t worry about me.”
While Professor Diego was distracted talking to me, Noah flipped through his textbook. Even now, I was tense just watching him. The frustration made my stomach churn.
“I was lucky someone who knows me well signed up to be my assistant.”
“Oh? You have an assistant?”
Noah looked up. For a split second, his face showed surprise.
Our eyes met in the air. I forced a smile. Diego turned to Noah.
“What’s your name, young man?”
“Theo… Grisham. I think there’s been a misunderstanding—Miss White and I aren’t acquainted—”
“So you’re the top student!”
Professor Diego cut him off and exclaimed.
“What’s your relationship with Miss White?”
“We’re childhood friends.”
I answered for him.
I figured it was better to call him an old friend—to earn some sympathy. If people believed we were close, they might tolerate the things I’d soon put him through.
If they thought we’d known each other a long time, they wouldn’t question anything I did.
“Oh, I’ve never heard of the Grisham name…”
“They’re about to make a name for themselves.”
“Haha. That may well be true.”
Diego didn’t pry further. He seemed to assume that the Grisham were low-profile now but had enough potential to mingle with the Whites.
After spending some time evaluating students, the professor finally began the lecture. Throughout the class, a few students kept glancing my way. I doubted it was just curiosity in their eyes.
“Miss White, would you read the next paragraph?”
As I fumbled through the textbook, Noah spoke up.
“Professor, it’s Miss White’s first day, and she’s nervous and not feeling well. As her assistant, may I read in her stead?”
“Oh, go ahead, then. Childhood friends indeed—how lovely.”
He smiled awkwardly.
I was ashamed to have accepted Theo Grisham’s help. After class, on our way to the next lecture, I called out to him.
“Your help earlier wasn’t necessary.”
“Really? You seemed to need it.”
His voice was cool and sarcastic. It annoyed me. Maybe he was irritated from having to dance around my moods—but I was far more annoyed by him.
Even before I met Noah Ashford, just his existence had upended my life. Now I live like a patient—what’s a little lie compared to that?
I was so angry, I forgot my fear and snapped at him.
“I don’t need your help.”
“Then I guess I’ll cancel the assistant position.”
What kind of nerve did he have? Maybe, just like I was pretending to be fine around him, he was pretending to be calm around me.
From what I’d found out, he needed a lot of money. He was deep in debt and had to pay for his living expenses and his mother’s medicine. I let out a bitter laugh.
“You need the money. Can you really afford to quit?”
His eyebrows twitched. I asked again.
“Didn’t you apply as an assistant because you needed the money?”
“Yeah. But if you don’t need me—”
“I decide whether I need you. All you have to do is stick by my side and serve me.”
“Serve you? I’m your assistant, not your servant.”
His eyes flared with wounded pride. I smirked.
I took a step closer. Up close, his blue eyes were even more vivid—but I forced myself not to flinch.
Wait. Weren’t his eyes violet in my dream? The color was different. But it didn’t seem important enough to dwell on.
People’s eye color can change as they grow. And I’d been drenched in blood and fleeing for my life—my vision might’ve been unreliable.
“A servant? You should be grateful I’m not calling you a slave, considering your circumstances.”
His brow twitched.
“You investigated me?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“I’m reporting this to the school. This is unacceptable.”
“No. You won’t.”
I grabbed his arm as he tried to walk past me. A shiver crawled up my arm.
“You owe me.”
He owed me just by existing. He was born of that cursed woman—and on top of that, he killed me.
“What are you…”
I had a brilliant idea. A perfect plan for revenge.
“Did you think I didn’t know?”
“What are you— Wait… no…”
“You think I wouldn’t know who you are, when I’m dying because of you and your mother?”
A wide, wicked grin stretched across my face. His expression froze—like he’d just heard something he wasn’t meant to.
“I missed you so much.”
Andrew used to say this to Scott often: ‘Forgiveness is the best revenge.’ But I believe that’s a lie. So I won’t forgive.
I’ll pretend to forgive, give him everything—then snatch it all back and drag him into the gutter.
Then he’ll die just like me.
Just as I begged not to have Isaac killed, I’ll make him beg for his mother’s life.
He’ll cry out over her lifeless body, choking on sobs in a pool of her blood.
“Nice to meet you.”
I’ll kill you and go to hell. I’ll take you out with my own hands, and then—
“Noah Ashford.”
—I’ll live in the same hell as you.
