Chapter 23
“I can do this. I can do this.”
Evelyn kept repeating the words to herself, trying to silence the voices in her head.
She gently touched the empty necklace around her neck, then slowly lowered her hand.
She was afraid that if she gave in to the hallucinations, she might try to strangle herself.
“Excuse me, may I step outside for a moment?”
“I’m sorry, my lady. It’s quite late. I’m afraid that won’t be possible.”
“Just for a moment. Really, just for a short while. I feel so suffocated…”
A wave of tightness closed in on her, as if she were trapped in a small room.
Her clear vision began to blur, swallowed by the creeping darkness.
Beyond her fading sight, she saw red flames rising.
As that terrible despair returned, Evelyn clutched her neck, gasping for breath like she had forgotten how to breathe.
“My lady?”
“Are you alright, my lady?”
The knights who were standing guard noticed something was wrong and called out to her.
But Evelyn kept brushing her hand roughly over her neck, as if desperately trying to find something.
Her body swayed as if she might collapse at any moment. The knights grew visibly alarmed.
“Should we call the head maid…?”
“What’s going on?”
The knight who had first answered her barely opened his mouth when a cool voice came from behind him.
He turned quickly, startled. Standing right beside them was Chaser, who had arrived so quietly they hadn’t even noticed.
Recognizing who had spoken, the knight straightened from his crouched position where he had been checking on Evelyn.
“My lord. We greet you.”
“I asked what was happening. Evelyn? You’re still awake?”
Chaser spotted Evelyn behind the knights.
In truth, she had crouched down so much that her smaller frame had become hidden behind the tall knights.
Evelyn, her face pale and strained, was half-sitting on the floor. When she heard his voice, she slowly looked up.
In her eyes, there was a hollow, deep despair.
Chaser saw it clearly and gently moved to support her.
“Are you alright?”
Just hearing his voice brought her a strange sense of relief.
The flames that had surrounded her began to die down.
The darkness faded too. And someone she didn’t think she would see was now standing right in front of her.
“…Chaser?”
Chaser gave a faint smile as he noticed the life slowly returning to Evelyn’s eyes.
“Why are you awake at this hour? And what are you wearing? You must be freezing.”
“I just felt a little trapped…”
“Were you trying to run away again?”
“No, not at all. I just… wanted some fresh air. But it was already too late…”
As she spoke, Chaser took off his outer coat and placed it gently over her shoulders.
“Still, you shouldn’t be wandering around dressed like this. Especially not after getting out of bed so recently. Your body is still fragile.”
His clothes are different from this morning…
It seemed that after parting ways with her earlier, he had changed and gone out again.
At this rate, I’m going to end up keeping all of Chaser’s coats.
“Shall we go for a short walk?”
Evelyn had been quietly holding onto the edge of his coat when she suddenly looked up in surprise.
“Huh? Are you sure?”
“If it’s just for a little while.”
“But didn’t you just come back? You should get some rest.”
“You always treat Luisa as if she’s too soft on me.”
Chaser reassured her, then removed his gloves and gently took her hand.
As her gaze dropped to where their hands met, he simply gave her a small smile.
“You don’t want to fall again, do you?”
“I’m not that weak.”
“We’ll see. I’ve seen a few things to make me wonder.”
He spoke playfully, but the sincerity behind his words was clear.
Still, he didn’t forget to add something more, just in case she misunderstood.
“Just think of it as a gentleman’s courtesy.”
And so, with their hands gently joined, Evelyn and Chaser began walking together down the quiet corridor.
It was different from that day she had run away, not looking back even once.
Now, everything was calm and quiet. There was no one else around to see them.
I’m not alone.
Back then, when she realized that everyone had left her and she was completely abandoned by the world, the despair had been too overwhelming to bear.
This is different now.
Just knowing someone was walking beside her made her feel at peace.
And more than anything, the fact that it was Chaser made it feel almost unbelievable.
It’s strange how safe I feel.
The red flames that used to consume her no longer appeared in her vision.
Even that was enough to make her chest feel a little lighter.
“Are you feeling a bit better now?”
“Yes. A lot better.”
Only then was Evelyn able to smile.
She was embarrassed to have shown such a weak side of herself again,
but even more than that, she felt sorry.
And it was that guilt that weighed on her most.
“But are you really sure you’re okay? I feel like I might be taking up your rest time.”
“I’m fine. Just walking like this, holding your hand, helps me more.”
Evelyn fell silent. Sometimes, this man was more sly and smooth-talking than she expected.
So this is what it means to be a true noble.
To hide her flushed face, Evelyn turned her head away.
She kept a small secret to herself—she had been thinking the same thing.
The two of them continued walking quietly down the long corridor.
The silence of the early dawn was broken by Chaser’s gentle voice.
“You’re still struggling a lot, aren’t you?”
Even though she didn’t want to show any more weakness, Chaser’s question stirred something deep inside her. Emotions she had been holding back suddenly rose to the surface.
“…Yes.”
“Of course you are. I get that. So, what’s the hardest part right now?”
His tone made it clear he wanted to help if he could. Evelyn gave a faint, bitter smile.
No one could decide Evelyn’s purpose in life for her.
No one but herself.
Even so, without realizing it, Evelyn opened up.
“I promised myself I’d live a happy life, but I don’t know how. I can’t figure it out. I feel so lost.”
Her voice was so heavy and low it was hard to believe it had come from her. It filled the space between them.
“My life’s goal was taken away, so I need to find a new one. But it feels so overwhelming. When I close my eyes, all I see is darkness. It feels just like my future.”
Where does happiness even come from?
“I want to be happy. But what does happiness even mean for someone like me? I don’t know how to do anything. Can I really make something of myself? I don’t know. It’s too hard.”
It felt strange to speak so openly. She had never shared her true feelings like this with anyone.
Maybe it’s because I feel safe around Chaser.
Maybe it was because they had both taken the Luisa test.
Because they had both experienced the tragedy of losing their families.
She didn’t know for sure, but somehow, over time, Evelyn had found herself able to speak freely in front of Chaser.
The man she had once kept her distance from, thinking he was just a villain in a game, had become her only place of comfort.
If the Evelyn from the past could see this, she probably wouldn’t even believe it. It was such a drastic change in their relationship.
Chaser didn’t respond right away.
But somehow, that was okay.
Just being able to say it out loud made her heart feel a little lighter.
“In the middle of all that, I also found an injury. I thought back and realized it was probably from when Jerry bit me.”
Still, there was no reply.
It seemed Chaser already knew about that part too.
Thanks to that, Evelyn wasn’t afraid. She kept going.
“I started reading newspapers to look for more information. They said that wounds from infected people never heal. But mine is healing. So… does that mean I’m infected or not?”
“What do you think?”
Chaser’s question made Evelyn draw in a breath.
“At first, I was terrified. I didn’t know when I might turn into a monster. It felt like God was punishing me, telling me to suffer until the very end. I tried to accept it, thinking it was what I deserved…”
Chaser didn’t interrupt. He waited quietly for her to finish.
“But as time passes… I find myself hoping I’m not infected. I want to live now. I want to find happiness before I die. Is that selfish of me?”
Letting out all her tangled thoughts made her feel strangely calm, despite how serious the topic was.
If Chaser really does try to kill me, I think I could find the strength to run—at least for a moment.
While their conversation continued, the two of them reached a small garden connected to the building.
The cold wind brushed gently against her cheek, but because she was still holding Chaser’s hand, she didn’t feel cold at all.
The garden, quiet and still, held not a single bloom, a clear sign that winter had come.
But that very stillness had a kind of beauty. It brought her peace.
“It’s beautiful,” Evelyn said without thinking.
Chaser nodded.
“A winter garden isn’t so bad.”
He stepped into the garden with her.
The wind rustled through the bushes, but it didn’t disturb their walk.
“To be honest, I don’t really understand what happiness is. Especially after becoming Luisa. It became an even more confusing emotion.”
Chaser knew Evelyn was looking at him, but he didn’t turn. He kept his eyes forward.
“And because of that, I don’t know how to make others happy either. But…”
A wind like the one from that night began to blow.
Cold and sharp, yet brushing her cheek gently, as if to comfort her.
Under the soft moonlight, Chaser’s black hair stirred in the breeze.
His appearance was so perfect, it was as if a god of beauty had stepped down to earth. Evelyn couldn’t take her eyes off him.
But no, it wasn’t because of his looks. It was because she wanted to hear what he would say next.
Just like that night, when he saved her from her despair.
“I think I might be able to help you.”
She felt again like he might save her.
Chaser let go of her hand and gently brushed along the top of it.
He carefully touched the scar on the inside of her wrist, then let out a soft laugh.
“What if you could save those infected by the monsters?”
Once again, a radiant light seemed to fall upon Chaser.
He turned and looked directly into Evelyn’s eyes.
“What would you do?”
It was dark, but there was light in his gaze.
“If you had the power to erase the very disease that dragged your loved ones into hell, with your own hands, what would you choose?”
