Chapter 50: Change (7)
Chapter 50: Change (7)
“I’ll go instead.”
“…Pardon? Go where?”
Michelle, who hadn’t even glanced in his direction, froze mid-motion as she armed herself, turning her head to question him. Her voice, her twisted expression, both betrayed her disbelief.
In stark contrast to her shaken composure, Jin’s voice remained as calm and steady as ever.
“We can switch, can’t we? I’ll go on the mission in your place.”
She hadn’t misheard him. Michelle’s face contorted further, as if she couldn’t make sense of what she was hearing.
“The sortie takes longer. If it’s urgent, you’d be better off finishing that first. You wouldn’t know, since you always move alone.”
“I’ll cancel all the other teams and go alone.”
Jin cut her off cleanly. Michelle was speechless.
He had already volunteered for several missions as a commander because of her, and now he was offering to handle something that wasn’t even his responsibility. Again, because of her.
“You’re seriously cra(zy)… Ah…”
She caught herself just in time, swallowing the curse that nearly burst from her lips. Brow furrowed tightly, she closed her eyes and pressed her fingertips against the deep crease between them. It took everything she had not to lose her mind at the absurdity of it all. Regaining just enough composure, Michelle opened her eyes again. The man standing before her, his face was as impassive as it had been when he first walked in.
If there ever was someone for whom the phrase ‘quietly insane’ applied, it was him. Michelle stared at him, her gaze sharp and unwavering, but he remained utterly unmoved.
After a moment of silence, she finally spoke again.
“Fine. Good. I actually prefer paperwork to going out there myself.”
“Then I’ll…”
“But.”
Just as Jin reached to set the stack of documents down, Michelle’s voice cut him off. His eyebrows twitched slightly. She crossed her arms and shifted her weight, her tone sharp.
“I’ll agree on one condition. You fight with your head on straight and stay aware of your surroundings. I’m not letting you turn half the map into a crater again like you did in the Dimont Forest.”
“…”
Her words, spoken through gritted teeth and barely contained fury, carried weight and with good reason.
The Dimont Forest had been devastated beyond recovery, and the implications were still haunting the nation. It wasn’t just a local incident; it was the top priority issue plaguing national policy.
If it had been barren land, perhaps they could’ve swept it under the rug. But then again, if it were that kind of land, it wouldn’t have become a breeding ground for giants in the first place.
The Dimont Forest had once been one of the ten largest in Dantella. In the cold northern region, where flora struggled to thrive, it had been the only managed woodland. Even with the rise of mechanical industries and the declining demand for timber, the forest had value far beyond just its trees. The fact that he had rendered half of it into a wasteland was not something that could be excused.
Yes, some destruction is unavoidable in emergencies. But everything has its limits, and what happened in Dimont went far beyond any acceptable threshold. Jin had long since come to terms with the fact that it happened because he failed to control his overwhelming emotions. He bore that guilt.
Since it was decided that the forest should at least be restored to the point of natural regeneration, Jin, the one responsible, and Michelle, the commander temporarily assigned to the northern border unit, had taken on the burden of the mission.
It was only natural for Jin to bear that responsibility. Michelle, however, was forced into it simply by virtue of being his superior in the same unit. Her resentment was understandable.
Come to think of it, even the documents he was now trying to hand over to her were related to that very mission. Feeling the weight of it, Jin bowed his head solemnly.
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Michelle’s glare softened slightly. She uncrossed her arms and extended her hand toward him.
“Give it here. I’ll pass it on to the soldiers headed out. Just finish up and bring me a brief report later.”
“Thank you.”
Handing over the stack of documents, Jin met her gaze and gave a small, respectful nod, then vanished without a trace.
Michelle stared back and forth between the documents in her hand and the empty space he’d just occupied, clicking her tongue. She tossed the papers onto the desk and resumed removing her gear.
* * *
It took Jin exactly two hours from the moment he stormed out of his barracks to finish the mission and arrive at the infirmary.
Normally, a mission of that scale would’ve taken him at least twice as long, but he’d rushed through it only to be greeted not by the person he sought, but by the attending physician with a simple message: she wasn’t there.
While exchanging a few questions about her, an offhand comment caught his ear.
[“She said she was going back to her hometown. I had no choice but to let her go. People tend to miss their family when they’re unwell, after all.”]
Her hometown. Could it be?
Eighteen years ago, after his death, he had only returned there once. Since then, he hadn’t even dared to think about it. The place where his childhood, his happiest and most tragic memories, coexisted, unable to blend.
A place where fragmented memories swirled together like mismatched paints, forming a disjointed blur.
Jin’s thoughts stopped there.
[“…I’ll come back another time.”]
That was the last thing he said to Ophelia. He wasn’t even conscious of having said it.
* * *
When he came to, Jin found himself in a place he had never seen before.
‘Where am I?’
The landscape was unfamiliar. Low buildings, scattered workshops, a few carriages passed him at a leisurely pace. Some people walking by gave him a furtive glance, startled when their eyes met his, quickly looking away.
It looked like a typical small town. Jin tried recalling the villages he’d passed through during his mercenary days, but none matched this place. It wasn’t as though he could’ve arrived somewhere completely unknown. His subconscious wouldn’t allow it. And yet, nothing here sparked any recognition.
Faced with a puzzle he couldn’t solve alone, Jin stopped a passerby.
“Excuse me. Could you tell me where I am?”
The person stared at his unusual silver hair, startled by the sudden question. Their voice trembled.
“Y-you’re in… Orten…”
The name hit him like lightning.
Orten.
The place where his life, and his happiness, had both begun and ended. The place he had just been thinking of.
* * *
At last, Jin had returned to Aska, and to Aska’s grave. Eighteen years.
“It’s been a long time, Aska…”
After her death, he’d only visited once. Since then, he had avoided it out of guilt too monstrous to face, and fear of what he might become if he let it consume him. He hadn’t just avoided the place. He had avoided even thinking about it.
And yet, here he was.
He didn’t know what gave him the courage to come. Just as he’d arrived in Orten on instinct, his decision to visit the grave had been impulsive.
He wandered the transformed city, unrecognizable after all these years, and eventually found a florist. He bought a bouquet of white roses and teleported straight to the cemetery. Something so simple, something he hadn’t dared do for eighteen years.
Placing the bouquet gently atop the grave, Jin crouched down and looked directly at it.
“Almost twenty years, hasn’t it?”
Unlike the city of Orten, which had changed beyond recognition, the cemetery looked exactly as it had eighteen years ago. So unchanged, it felt like time had been reversed.
And strangely, the crushing guilt he had feared all these years was not nearly as heavy as he had imagined. It was so faint it was almost nonexistent. Even as he faced his sin head-on, he felt, aside from a slight queasiness, unexpectedly calm.
Jin understood why. Because…
“…Sir Kreutz?”
A soft voice suddenly brushed his ear, riding the breeze behind him. Warm, familiar. Like an angel’s whisper. Jin slowly turned his head.
Bathed in soft sunlight, platinum-blond hair shimmered as it danced in the breeze. The sharp eyes, identical to Aska’s, had gone wide with surprise. Crimson irises stared at him, clear, unwavering.
The reason was standing right in front of him.
And in that moment, Jin understood what had brought him here.
Somewhere deep down, I must have thought that if I came here, I might see her again.
……
T/N: Is this fate? 💖
