Chapter 48: Change (5)
Chapter 48: Change (5)
The presence of the tall man following behind her, matching her pace, was undeniable even without turning around. His footsteps were heavy and rough, distinctly different from her own, and inexplicably loud. Ariel felt every sense in her body sharpened and drawn toward him.
From the door to the bed, barely a few paces in between, the short distance felt oppressively long. Her body tensed with anxiety.
Only after she awkwardly climbed into bed, the mattress creaking unnaturally, and pulled the blanket over herself did Ariel finally turn around. Jin’s gaze had been on her the entire time, and the moment their eyes met, it was clear.
As always, his expression was unreadable. But Ariel could tell the darkness that had once lingered around him had lifted. In its place was a calm, as if he had finally laid something to rest. His guilt had eased. Only now did Ariel truly grasp the meaning behind the words in his letter.
Jin, for his part, welcomed her crimson gaze fixed intently on him. Her face looked far better than it had the last time he saw her. There was no sign of resentment or aversion in her eyes. The wary vigilance that used to bristle like a cornered cat whenever she saw him was gone.
Even though she had told him not to blame himself and didn’t contact him, he had still worried countless times, wondering if she’d change her mind while sorting through her thoughts. Those feelings—anxiety, nervousness, restlessness—had vanished completely.
An almost imperceptible smile crept across Jin’s lips before he even realized it.
“I’ve been waiting.”
And the moment Ariel saw him, her body betrayed the unmistakable signs of someone falling in love.
Jin had always possessed a mysterious aura. But now that the shadow that clung to him had lifted, replaced by a faint radiance, he seemed all the more dazzling. Not a blinding brilliance like the sun, but the soft, luminous glow of the brightest moon in the night sky.
Whenever she faced him, there had always been too many things to consider. As a result, she had never truly had the chance to take in his face. She had never once thought it difficult to meet his gaze.
But now, it is different.
Ariel felt the heat from her fingertips and toes rush to her face. Now that she was aware of his features and of meeting his eyes, she couldn’t bear to look. Her face felt like it was on fire. She abruptly turned her head away from him.
“…Are you all right?”
She gave a slight nod, still avoiding his gaze. But in truth, she was far from all right.
Until not long ago, the mere thought of him would unleash a flood of tangled emotions. The last image she had of him, his expression when he’d lost Aynkel, so closely resembled her own despair that every time she recalled it, her own darkness surged to the surface. On top of that, the shock of realizing her feelings for him were far from simple had brought doubt and unease, leaving everything in utter disarray. She could hardly imagine feeling any less okay than she had then.
Now, however, the storm inside her had quieted. The darkness on his face had faded, and so had the emotions that used to rise with it. Her conversation with Karma had eased her doubts and anxieties. The only thing still weighing on her now was her feelings for him, just that, and nothing more.
But why, when her thoughts were calmer than before, did she feel even less okay?
Ariel, fearing her silence would give her away, took a deep breath and finally spoke.
“…Are you all right, sir?”
Her tone was soft, her guard lowered as much as her eyes.
“Yes, thanks to you.”
Jin replied, feeling another layer of hidden anxiety within him peel away. The words could’ve sounded like a formality in any other situation, but in this moment, they were nothing but the truth.
Ariel could feel her face grow even hotter, despite not even looking at him. His calm voice carried a subtle tenderness that lingered in the air. As her temperature rose, her breath caught in her throat. Her head gradually sank lower, overwhelmed by the effort of keeping up a conversation.
“I didn’t expect you to come… so soon.”
“You told me to visit when I had time. I happened to have time. And I’ve missed you very much.”
His voice was steady, without a single hint of hesitation. But Ariel couldn’t take those words as lightly as he spoke them. As if struck by lightning, a current shot through her, and she jerked her head up.
“How can you say something like that so casually?!”
Startled by the sudden sharpness in her voice, Jin blinked in surprise. He’d only told her the truth; he didn’t understand why she was reacting this way. But that confusion vanished the instant he saw her face.
“Your face…”
Her pale complexion was now flushed red, like someone running a fever. Her eyes were sharp and wide, trembling with suppressed emotion. She was biting her lip hard, her shoulders quivering.
Her delicate skin looked as if it would bruise under the pressure of her teeth. Before he could even think, his hand moved toward her face. His large palm cupped her cheek, now so hot it felt like it might burn.
Jin’s eyes widened in shock. He opened his mouth to speak.
“You should’ve told me if you were in pain…”
But the moment his thumb brushed her lips, his voice faltered. The sensation startled him into silence. Several seconds passed before he tried again, but the words still refused to form.
“If you keep biting your lips like that…”
Her lips, previously taut, had parted slightly in a daze.
His thoughts scattered. Jin froze, like a machine that had suddenly malfunctioned. All that remained was the lingering, vivid sensation at his fingertips, impossible to ignore. He should’ve let go. He needed to let go. But strangely, he didn’t want to.
No, more than that, he wanted to move closer. Her wide, frozen eyes, the way her expression softened was beautiful. He wanted to see more. No, that wasn’t enough. He wanted to embrace her, to breathe in her scent, to feel the warmth of her cheek beneath his hand, to touch those lips that wouldn’t let go of him.
But that train of thought shattered the moment the warmth slipped away.
“Sir, what… what are you doing…?”
She had slapped his hand away. The trembling breath that carried the bitter scent of medicine against his skin snapped Jin out of his trance.
“…Ah.”
He realized then that his body had leaned toward her, following the path of his thoughts. His face had drawn close enough that their breaths could mingle, only kept from closing the distance entirely because she had instinctively pulled back.
If she hadn’t…
‘What was I trying to do?’
Before he could fully process it, Ariel had already retreated to the head of the bed, far away. Her face, already flushed, was now burning crimson. As his gaze followed her, she lifted her knees and buried her face in them, eyes wide as she stared daggers at him.
In that moment, Jin realized.
I wanted to kiss her.
His body had moved on that impulse alone. It was no wonder he’d leaned in.
“Uh…”
With the delayed realization, his heart, which had been steady until now, began to race. A slow wave of heat spread from his chest up to his face. He drew back abruptly and covered his mouth with his hand.
A man who had never once acted on impulse before now found himself completely disoriented. For the first time since arriving, he tore his gaze away from Ariel.
His eyes, now turned from her, drifted aimlessly. Even his ears flushed red. Gasping for breath, he finally managed to speak.
“S-sorry, I… I don’t know what I… Ah…”
But the words came out broken. Jin, for the first time in his life, realized how hard it was to simply say what he was thinking. And Ariel was no better.
“P-please… just go back.”
Even though she wasn’t looking at him, the memory of what had just happened replayed vividly in her mind. Worse still, her imagination insisted on finishing the scene. Embarrassed, flustered, mortified—she couldn’t form a coherent sentence.
She had called him here because she had something she wanted to say. But now, she couldn’t remember a single word. All she could think about were his eyes, his scent, his breath drawing closer. Her own thoughts made her feel like a lecherous creep.
There was no way she could continue the conversation like this.
“N-next time… please, just… go.”
Her voice trembled with emotion as she forced the words out, burying her face completely in her knees.
Jin, no less overwhelmed and unable to meet her eyes, shot up from his seat as if he’d been waiting for an excuse. Though he knew it wasn’t polite to leave like this, he couldn’t think of anything to say, so he simply turned and left.
His steps faltered slightly on the way out, but Ariel, with her face buried, didn’t notice. What she did notice, though, was that his footsteps, heavier now than when he’d arrived, faded slowly into the distance. Then came the sound of the door opening and closing.
Silence fell.
But Ariel couldn’t lift her head. The aftermath was too intense. Her cheek, where his hand had rested, and her lips, where his breath had touched, still burned like they’d been scorched.
No trace of what had just happened was leaving her.
How is it that every single encounter with him, starting from the very first, never ends cleanly, not even once?
Even after he left, Ariel couldn’t shake off the lingering traces of him. She flopped onto the bed and buried her face into the pillow. Part of her wanted to pummel the pillow with her fists, but there was an IV needle stuck in her right hand, and a wound on her left shoulder, making it impossible.
“…This is insane.”
A feverish groan slipped through her clenched teeth.
……
T/N: You’re moving too fast, Sir Jin 🤭
