Chapter 43: Upheaval (11)
Chapter 43: Upheaval (11)
Just as Jin was about to speak, as if bewitched, a sudden doubt struck him like lightning.
Was it really true?
“…I’m sorry.”
In the end, he couldn’t say it.
That was the end. The wall that had crumbled between them was rebuilt. It felt colder than before, even more impenetrable. He sensed instinctively that it would be nearly impossible to approach her again, unless he laid bare the truth.
How could he claim to care for her and yet still be unable to trust her? The contradiction gnawed at him. He knew how wrong it was, but the fear of revealing everything stopped him.
Was this the price of that fear?
“A report just came in. The western Murier Mountains expeditionary force is currently engaged in battle with giants capable of using magic! They’ve requested reinforcements!”
The alarm rang out, and the booming announcement shook the entire military camp. Chaos erupted. Troops assigned for emergencies began to mobilize, and the two return airships were increased to three.
Jin, still stationed at the base, heard it too. The Murier Mountains. Ariel had been deployed there.
He’d intended to accompany her on every battle as her commanding officer. But ever since he’d turned down the opportunity she offered him that day, he’d felt somehow unworthy.
And now, magical giants.
The image from their first appearance came flooding back: a field drenched in blood, mountains of corpses. Hadn’t her younger brother died in that very battle?
Anxiety surged uncontrollably, and with it came a rising fury with only one clear destination.
Jin made his way toward the Murier Mountains, reducing every giant he encountered to ash. He didn’t even need to use magic. Any giant that stepped within the radius of his senses met its end under a divine thunderbolt, falling like judgment from the skies.
Only after scouring the mountains for some time did he find the battlefield. But by then, it was already over.
From his perch atop a tree, Jin surveyed the aftermath. An airship hovered above the trees, unable to land. Below, the landscape was devastated: snapped trees, scattered corpses of giants, puddles of blue blood, and fallen soldiers intermingled with the wounded groaning in pain. Medics rushed to aid them, and spells glowed across the airship as they transported survivors.
Even in the chaos, he spotted her almost instantly. His eyes locked on her without conscious effort. She looked utterly exhausted. As if she’d rolled through the forest, her entire body was caked in dust, and her platinum hair, usually so luminous, was disheveled and dulled. She walked with heavy steps, clearly worn out, but not injured.
She was safe.
And yet, the thought gripped him. What if one day, I truly lost her?
* * *
After that battle, she returned from leave looking even more gaunt than before. She’d always seemed fragile, but now the weight of it was almost unbearable.
He knew then: he had to tell her everything and stay by her side. She had once told him she wouldn’t resent him, even if she knew the whole truth. Maybe, just maybe, things could turn out that way.
Yes. I would tell her.
And just as that resolve began to take root…
The day came.
Four days after Ariel’s return from leave, she was dispatched to subjugate giants in the Dimont Forest, east of the base. At the same time, Jin had business alone in the western Renier Forest.
He couldn’t shake his unease about not being at her side. He had seen firsthand just how dangerous it could be.
Once this battle was over, I would tell her everything. Even if she rejected me, at least then I’d have the right to fight for her.
Screeeeech!
Just as he was combing the forest, the communicator he always carried blared to life. Not the one used by the Five Elders of Dantella, but the one meant to summon him immediately when his presence was critical to the military. It was a rare device, used only when absolutely necessary. After all, Jin could warp instantly to any corner of Dantella and wield power surpassing that of entire battalions.
The last time it had gone off was when the magical giants first appeared. Occasionally it would sound during black fog outbreaks, but only in the direst of emergencies.
This time, he felt a chill.
<Black fog detected during combat in the Dimont Forest. Requesting support. Estimated coordinates…>
It had become reality.
“…Understood.”
There was no time to think. Jin warped instantly to the coordinates.
‘D**n it. No, no!’
But there was nothing there.
All he saw were broad footprints of giants imprinted in the ground. They’d passed through as a group, moving in one direction. He couldn’t risk warping again without confirmation.
A curse slipped from his lips, something he’d never uttered in his life. His brain felt like it was boiling away. The heat made him dizzy. Each step he took felt like a lifetime.
All he could do was pray, over and over again. Even in the same battle zone, soldiers were split into units. Maybe, just maybe, she wasn’t there. It didn’t take long to realize that hope was futile.
Screams drifted faintly from afar. As he rushed toward them, the air filled with dust from the clash. Through it all, one figure emerged.
“Ariel…!”
Just as she collapsed, fresh blood dripping from her body. He appeared in front of her and caught her before she hit the ground. They were in the very heart of hell.
And yet, why?
None of it felt real to Jin. Or maybe everything was drowned by the fury seething in his head.
Rumble.
No, he knew.
‘Not now. Not here.’
He desperately clung to his sanity. If he lost control here, everything would be destroyed. Just like when he was twelve. Just like that first awakening, when rage drove him to kill.
Saving her came first. Then he would end this.
Even with his mind in ruins, he held on. It was the hardest thing he had ever done. A tightrope walk over an abyss.
But eventually, he fell.
And when it was over, all that remained was guilt for repeating a mistake he had sworn never to make again and sorrow for those who died because of him.
And overwhelming regret.
The thought that she might hate him tore at his heart, but even so, it was better for her to reject him while alive than for her to vanish from this world.
He should have realized that sooner.
* * *
But when he finally confessed everything, ready to be hated, prepared to give up his feelings, the answer she gave was:
[“You don’t have to suffer anymore. I’m sure Father would want that too.”]
Healing.
Her tear-streaked face. The red in her eyes. The lips that whispered salvation. The warmth of her embrace.
He would never forget that moment as long as he lived.
[“If I said… that I don’t resent you, even after hearing it all… would you tell me the rest?”]
He never imagined that her words would truly come to pass.
Did she know that her compassion became the salvation of a lifetime stained by guilt and pain?
Did she know that at that very moment, I fell in love with her?
But even then, there was one thing he couldn’t bring himself to say.
After visiting Aska’s grave, Jin was forced to go on living, dragged through the pit of despair. For a long time, all he could do was cry. The skies, echoing his sorrow, wept without end.
Everyone already knew Jin was an Ark. But before, he had a master, Aska Elias, who had kept him from being targeted. Now, with Aska dead and Jin in the capital, those who had long coveted Ark powers began to circle.
They gave him no peace.
Still raw from grief, Jin, just a boy, was vulnerable. He pushed everyone away, and yet the emotions he couldn’t express piled up inside.
It was only a matter of time.
Eventually, he snapped.
Lightning fell in response to his fury. In an instant, it devoured its target and reduced them to ash.
One of the many mages who had hounded him. Killed on the spot. Nothing left to identify.
It happened so fast, irreversible.
The incident was ruled accidental. Jin confessed, but no one believed him. They said a boy his age couldn’t possibly summon a thunderbolt. That it must’ve been a natural disaster. No one imagined a human could control nature itself.
But Jin knew. He remembered clearly. His rage had killed a person.
[“Please, use your power to help people.”]
Aska’s words echoed again in his mind. He’d asked Jin to protect others with his gift. But instead, Jin had taken a life.
Again.
The blow hit hard. The wound left by Aska’s death had barely begun to heal, only for a new blade to pierce the same spot. The guilt of failing his master compounded his grief.
He developed an obsession – he must protect people.
Because he had learned: when he unleashed his fury on others, tragedy followed.
From that moment, he began suppressing all emotions that could affect the sky: anger, sorrow, and more. And as he lost the ability to express pain, he also lost the ability to feel joy.
Maybe it was because the one who’d guided him was gone, and without them, there was no longer anything to be happy about.
That was why he became so utterly hollow.
……
T/N: With no one else to lean on, it’s only natural that Jin would turn this way… my baby 😭
