Chapter 28: Quagmire (3)
Chapter 28: Quagmire (3)
As usual, Ariel was heading into her quarters when she suddenly came to a halt, startled by the unexpected warmth of a hand gently catching her wrist. She turned her head.
The moment her eyes met the person who had grabbed her, she flinched. It was Jin Kreutz, standing behind her.
‘When did he…?’
She had just passed a path where the entrance to the women’s quarters was in plain view. Given the location, most of the people around were women. If he had passed through here, it would have been impossible for him not to attract attention.
Even just being a man would’ve drawn eyes, but he was someone who stood out even among men.
As that thought crossed her mind, Ariel’s gaze flicked momentarily to his hair.
But then, why? Why hadn’t she noticed his presence until he was standing this close? No, it wasn’t just her. It was as if everyone around had only now realized he was there. People who had been walking by, minding their own business, were only now beginning to glance over after seeing him grab her wrist.
Had he been hiding somewhere out of sight and revealed himself only after spotting her? When her thoughts reached that conclusion, Ariel finally managed to collect herself. Only then did she notice the furtive glances from those nearby.
She gently pulled her wrist free and spoke up.
“Could we move somewhere else first?”
She was already more well-known than she cared to be. The last thing she wanted was to have more rumors pile onto her name. While it was no secret within the unit that he seemed to be interested in her, having their conversations become public knowledge was another matter entirely.
Jin slowly scanned the surroundings with a cool gaze, then gave a small nod. With a subtle gesture, he started walking.
He led her to a small rest bench near the commanders’ barracks, a quiet spot with little foot traffic. He motioned for her to sit, but Ariel spoke instead of taking a seat.
“If you had something to say, wouldn’t it have been easier just to call for me?”
“I thought… you wouldn’t want to come.”
He hesitated slightly as he replied.
That brief uncertainty sparked a faint hope in Ariel. Was he finally going to tell her the truth? His demeanor seemed like someone bracing to speak of something important.
But what came out of his mouth next was far from what she had anticipated.
“Are you… hurt anywhere?”
Ariel blinked, taken aback.
“…Excuse me?”
“I heard you were dispatched to Astica. I was… worried.”
The question-that-wasn’t-quite-a-question trailed off before reaching its end. In Jin’s golden, wave-like eyes, her stunned expression was clearly reflected.
His words faltered, and Ariel said nothing. A stillness settled between them once again.
As the silence lingered, weighed down with a mild awkwardness, Ariel finally responded.
“You came all the way here… just to ask me that?”
Jin glanced at her, a faint trace of unease on his face. Her expression was neither warm nor cold, just unreadable. In other words, he couldn’t tell how to respond.
Despite his usual cold demeanor, he carefully tested the waters, watching her reaction.
“Is that… not okay?”
“….”
Ariel was at a loss for words. Her eyes widened. She had known for some time that he was interested in her, but she hadn’t expected he would come find her despite her clear reluctance. Even if he could, this expression, this gaze, this atmosphere…
And then, like a lightning strike, a realization hit her, not a guess, but a near certainty.
This man… feels something for me.
The weight of it pressed against her heart. Thump, thump, it was as if something loud and deep struck against her ears.
A strange sensation. But before she could fully grasp what that feeling meant, something stronger surged in to push it aside.
A question: one that had existed since the moment she first met him, one that had never been answered.
“Why are you doing this to me?”
That sharp, persistent question erased the fleeting tremor entirely.
And Ariel realized: as long as this question remained unresolved, she would never be able to fully open her heart to him.
Her voice turned cool, as she asked again.
“Before you ask about my wellbeing, I think you owe me an answer to that first.”
“…”
Jin flinched. His gaze dropped. Ariel watched his reaction carefully. She spoke with quiet honesty.
“Until I know that answer… I can’t see what you’re doing as anything but troubling, Sir.”
But, in truth, those words also meant this: If you were to tell me the truth, I might be able to accept your feelings.
Whether he didn’t understand or simply couldn’t bring himself to say it, Jin neither raised his head nor opened his mouth.
Ariel, watching him closely, noticed the subtle tension in his lips. In his silence, she heard the answer.
He still had no intention of telling her the truth.
“…Sir, what on earth…”
Ariel clenched her teeth.
If he had nothing to do with Aynkel’s death, then why had he come to that child’s grave? Why had he started sponsoring Ariel after Aynkel died? What secret was so heavy that he had hidden behind lies and silence ever since their first meeting? What was he so afraid of that he couldn’t say a word?
Her unanswered question melted into a sigh. Ariel’s gaze drifted up to the sky.
Silence returned.
There was nothing more to say until he answered. Just as she was about to turn and leave, Jin suddenly broke the silence.
“I think I…”
He looked up from the ground and met her eyes. In the reflection of his golden irises, she saw herself. When Ariel lowered her gaze from the sky, their eyes met, and Jin’s words faltered again.
“Ah…”
A soft sound escaped his lips. His gaze turned aside. Ariel saw a faint blush rising on his subtly contorted face.
In that moment when her suspicion became reality, he finally spoke.
“I think… I may care about you more than I realized.”
The words barely left his lips before faltering again, but Ariel already felt like she had heard the full answer. His expression said everything his words did not. And what followed, after a brief pause, confirmed exactly what she’d anticipated.
“I think… I like you.”
Perhaps that’s why Ariel wasn’t surprised at all.
“You’re saying you like me.”
Her voice was calm, like she was simply confirming a fact.
“…Yes.”
Jin’s reply, while carrying a brief hesitation, was as flat as hers. But that didn’t mean it lacked sincerity. Even if his voice was composed, his inability to look her in the eye revealed just how real his feelings were.
Ariel, though not surprised, wasn’t unaffected. That unfamiliar tremor from earlier, the one she didn’t even have time to question, now pulsed through her with greater intensity.
She couldn’t name the feeling exactly, but one thing was certain: it didn’t feel bad. In fact, if she had to categorize it, it leaned toward something… good. Good enough that if she were to respond based on this feeling alone, she might have said yes.
But the important thing was this: her feelings toward him, and his toward her, weren’t just about affection.
He carried guilt toward her, and she had questions about that guilt. Questions so large and consuming that his confession, and the tremor it caused, were far too small to resolve them.
His confession could never serve as a substitute, or an answer, for the truth.
“It’s a bit strange, Sir, that you’d say something like that right now. I don’t think that’s what you should be telling me.”
Ariel’s voice, calm and collected, didn’t sound at all like someone who’d just been confessed to.
Jin let out a faint sigh, then, after a short pause, spoke again.
“Because I… care for you, I don’t think I can tell you the truth.”
His tone was slow and awkward, like he was translating from a foreign language or trying to explain someone else’s feelings. Even as he spoke, it was clear he himself found the words clumsy. He fell silent again, lost in thought. His gaze, which had been fixed somewhere off to the side, dropped further, as if weighed down. His long white lashes hung like curtains, veiling the golden light of his eyes.
Ariel understood his words about as well as they were delivered.
“I’m sorry, I… don’t quite follow.”
“I mean… if you were to know everything…”
Jin’s halting voice cut off again.
Ariel stared at him. His eyes, still averted, blinked slowly, a hint of hesitation showing. His brow furrowed slightly in confusion. His lips parted as if to speak, but no sound followed.
She waited, watching in silence. Her unwavering gaze drew his eyes back to her. Jin glanced at her, almost instinctively.
And then, as if something clicked into place, his eyes shook. His mouth opened, a small breath escaping. And finally, he spoke again.
“If you knew everything… you’d end up hating me.”
His voice was even, yet every word felt like a thorn laced with pain. As if proving it, he lifted a hand to his neck, gently pressing it there, then continued in a whisper, like a groan born of anguish.
……
T/N: So… what is it Jin? I’m dying to knowww
