Chapter 25: Awareness (7) part 2
“Hm… This is obvious. You overdid it on your first sortie, lost control, and collapsed from exhaustion, didn’t you? And why were you crying? Don’t tell me… bad dreams?”
“…”
Her voice was sharp, striking precisely at the heart of the matter. Every word was spot on. Ariel had no response.
“You seriously… What are you planning to do if you keep letting yourself get swept up like this?”
Karma let out a long sigh.
A part of her wanted to scold Ariel for putting herself through unnecessary suffering. But more than anyone, she understood why Ariel was here and what she was feeling. She couldn’t bring herself to say something so careless.
Another deep sigh escaped her lips.
There was only so much she could say without overstepping her friend’s emotions. Holding back the myriad of emotions threatening to rise, Karma finally spoke, her voice firm and resolute.
“Your choices are yours to make. But if you’re here with a death wish, I won’t accept it. You’re not the only one whose life is on the line in this place.”
“I know. I’m not.”
“You’re not? Because everything you’re doing screams otherwise.”
“…”
Once again, Ariel found herself at a loss for words. Karma gave her no room to argue. Her piercing gaze was as unyielding as a blade.
After a long pause, Ariel finally managed to string together the most honest response she could give.
“…I’ll try.”
It was the best she could offer without lying to herself.
“You really are something.”
It wasn’t exactly a reassuring answer, and that unsettled Karma. But she figured a sincere promise, however uncertain, was better than a false sense of conviction.
“…Fine. Just… please. You’re driving me insane with worry.”
“…”
Ariel could feel the weight of emotion in Karma’s voice. She knew it came from firsthand experience, the countless things Karma had seen and endured in this place. She had been here far longer and understood its dangers much better than Ariel ever could.
This battlefield was dangerous enough that even someone as formidable as Jin Kreutz and Karma Fereshte openly admitted its risks. And yet, Ariel had been the only one unaware.
Had she known sooner just how perilous this place was, she would have done everything in her power to stop that child from coming here.
But time does not rewind, and the dead do not return.
It was an obvious truth, yet Ariel couldn’t think of anything more bitter. A hollow smile formed on her lips.
“You really don’t have to worry so much. Turns out, being a Phema is an even bigger deal than I expected.”
“Yeah, Phema is definitely powerful. But the problem is… Never mind.”
Karma abruptly cut herself off. Her lips parted slightly as if she had more to say, but no words followed. Instead, she let out another deep sigh, letting the momentary silence settle between them.
Then, as if making up her mind, she rummaged through the bag she had brought and pulled out a thick stack of papers, dropping them onto the table. Ariel glanced down at them. A file filled with documents.
“Here.”
Karma pushed the file toward her. Ariel reached for it, curiosity flickering in her eyes.
“What is this?”
“A collection of attack and defense spells that should be manageable for you. You don’t know the first thing about this stuff, do you? Relying solely on that book of yours isn’t exactly ideal. It’s better to have some actual knowledge, just in case. You never know what might happen, so learn them.”
“…”
Something about that answer felt oddly familiar. Ariel’s gaze lingered on the thick stack of papers as her mind worked to pinpoint the source of this déjà vu.
And then, she remembered.
The grimoire buried somewhere in her belongings. And the person who had given it to her.
“…Jin.”
The name slipped out before she even realized it. It was barely more than a murmur, nearly a thought spoken aloud. But it was loud enough for Karma, who was seated right across from her, to catch.
Her eyebrow twitched. Her eyes widened.
“That bastard’s still hovering around you even here?”
“…Yeah.”
Ariel flinched. Karma’s eyes were gleaming far too dangerously. But the moment passed quickly. Without making much of a fuss, Ariel simply answered her question.
She recounted everything – from the moment she first arrived here, to receiving the Flame, and even how Jin had been her commanding officer during today’s mission. Not just the plain facts, but every detail of how she had felt in those moments.
After hearing everything, Karma crossed her arms and clenched her hands tightly, a look of unease crossing her face as though she were shuddering.
“…Are you sure that the person you’re talking about is really that Jin Kreuz I know? Could it be a namesake?”
Karma couldn’t believe Ariel’s words. Ariel understood her reaction.
It wasn’t just Karma who felt that way. Even Michelle, whom Ariel had met once, had mentioned Jin’s dry temperament. There must be a reason why those who had seen him frequently spoke about him in such a way.
In fact, even Ariel, who had never known him, could feel that he had an air of indifference about everything. She had been shocked when she saw that veneer break in front of her, but she hadn’t dismissed it as nonsense, even when hearing about it without witnessing it. That was only possible because of the trust between them.
“So, what’s the reason for that? Didn’t you ask him?”
“He said he couldn’t talk about it.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. I’m curious too.”
Ariel’s voice had a slight edge of irritation. No one wanted to know the truth more than she did.
Of course, she had a near-ironclad guess about it.
“I’m wondering if it might be related to Aynkel’s death.”
“That’s not it.”
“Huh?”
“I also felt something was off, so I looked into it a bit when I got here. I couldn’t make sense of his relationship with Aynkel’s death. The kid’s personality just doesn’t match with the idea of him being close to Aynkel. I started thinking, could it be that he died because of him? You thought the same thing, right?”
Karma was thinking exactly what Ariel had been thinking. Ariel flinched, startled.
“…Yeah.”
“No, it’s not that. It’s completely different.”
Karma shook her head vigorously.
“I found out he was actually in the western continent the day the incident happened. After the incident, he received an emergency call from Lord Jeriem and rushed over here. After he arrived, no one else was harmed.”
“That means…”
“After Aynkel died, that’s when he came here. So his death had nothing to do with him.”
Ariel’s prediction was shattered by Karma’s firm words. The answer she had unconsciously arrived at was once again pushed further away.
* * *
After talking about various things, Ariel suddenly glanced out the window and noticed that the sun had already started to set.
Karma stared at the sun, which was slowly disappearing beyond the mountain range, leaving behind a trail of red. After a moment, she turned to Ariel and asked.
“Do you have anything left to do today?”
“Anything left to do? No.”
On the day of a mission, soldiers were always given time off. It was a principle that applied to everyone in the military. Ariel nodded lightly.
