Chapter 25: Awareness (7) part 1
(T/N: I decided to divide this chapter into three because it was too loooong, I hope you don’t mind hehe)
Once the other girl left, Ariel, too, emerged from her blankets to wash her face. As she lifted the covers, she suddenly caught sight of Rayner, who had been hidden beneath them.
In that instant, memories of the battle from earlier flashed through her mind. A restless sensation crawled up her spine, prickling her skin. She hesitated, postponing her trip to the washroom for a moment, and spoke to Rayner instead.
“Rayner, I have a question.”
[Go ahead.]
“Do you enjoy killing?”
[…]
She could still vividly recall the way he had laughed on the battlefield, amid the roar of explosions, gunfire, and dazzling bursts of magic. The sheer brutality in that voice had been chilling.
He had shown glimpses of that same nature during their first training session, but at the time, she had nothing to compare it to, so she hadn’t realized how unusual it was.
Later, after training with Flame and then fighting alongside Rayner again, the contrast became glaringly obvious. His reaction to battle was… abnormal.
It was as if he found genuine exhilaration in slaughter, in overpowering his opponents. If he were human, he would be no different from a madman.
‘I thought he’d hold me back.’
When Ariel had been consumed by rage, recklessly unleashing magic in a frenzy, Rayner had done nothing to stop her. On the contrary, he had gladly fueled the fire, growing even wilder himself.
As a result, she had kept casting spells until she was completely drained. Pushing herself past her limits had been half his doing. Of course, the greater fault lay with her – she had failed to control her emotions.
Given how coldly rational and detached he usually was, she had assumed he would scoff at her loss of control and rein her in. But he hadn’t. Instead, he had incited her further. Because of him, she had fought past the point of exhaustion, like some crazed warrior, until she finally collapsed.
At the time, she had been too blinded by rage to notice. But looking back now, his reaction…
“It’s a little frightening.”
[Just a little? I appreciate the generosity.]
“…Actually, it’s terrifying.”
[Now that’s honesty I can respect.]
Rayner chuckled, as if he had expected that response. But there was something bitter about his tone. It almost sounded like… resignation. As though he was well aware of his own madness.
Suddenly, a memory surfaced – Flame’s words when she had first met Rayner.
“They called you the masterpiece of a war maniac… Was that true?”
[So you remembered that.]
“I wouldn’t say I remembered… It just popped into my head.”
Books, letters – anything written on paper inevitably reflected the nature of its creator. Ariel didn’t know the precise definition of a ‘war maniac,’ but thinking back to how Rayner had rampaged across the battlefield, the term seemed disturbingly fitting.
Still, a question lingered in her mind.
“If you enjoy bloodshed and killing so much, why didn’t you go to war sooner?”
Rayner let out a short, amused scoff.
[Do you think there’s a single human in this world who could wield me on the battlefield? You must have forgotten. I don’t belong to this world’s books.]
“Oh, right… You can only be used by a Phema.”
Realizing her mistake, Ariel gave an awkward nod. But another question soon followed.
“But before me, there was Karma. If you had gone with her, wouldn’t that have made her even stronger?”
[Do you even understand how dangerous that would be? In her hands, I could have wiped out the entire world. You saw it, didn’t you? Just how insane I am. If a powerful wielder controlled me, I’d unleash even stronger magic.]
Rayner’s reply was immediate. He spoke about himself like an observer describing someone else – calm, detached.
That, too, struck Ariel as odd. Her expression twisted slightly in confusion.
“I mean… That makes sense, but… You actually care about that?”
[Not during battle. But when I’m not slaughtering, yes, I do.]
“…Ah.”
Ariel finally understood. Absentmindedly, she muttered to herself.
“So it’s kind of like… a split personality?”
[Not the most flattering way to put it, but I suppose it’s something like that.]
Rayner’s voice was flat, but there was a hint of displeasure beneath the words.
[That’s enough for now. I only answered because I felt bad for letting you push yourself so hard, but this isn’t exactly a pleasant conversation.]
“Oh… I’m sorry.”
Ariel apologized immediately. She hadn’t meant to make him revisit something he would rather forget. And she knew all too well how painful that could be.
She slowly got up from her seat.
“I won’t ask anymore. I’ll go wash up.”
[Go on, then.]
As Ariel left the room, a quiet sigh slipped from her lips.
* * *
After rinsing her face with cold water, Ariel stepped out of the washroom and started heading back to her room, only to run into another one of her roommates along the way.
The girl’s face lit up the moment she spotted Ariel, and she quickly ran over. Seeing Ariel’s damp face, she exclaimed,
“Oh, so you were in the washroom! I was wondering where you went.”
Judging by her eager expression, she had been looking for Ariel for a while. Ariel tilted her head slightly.
“Is something wrong?”
“Someone came to see you. They asked me to tell you when you woke up. But… it’s weird. It’s a visitor, but I don’t think they went through the proper procedures. Did you get any notice?”
“No?”
“Right? If you had, you wouldn’t have been sleeping.”
“Exactly…”
Even as the conversation continued, a certain figure abruptly surfaced in Ariel’s mind.
Someone with the authority to completely bypass visitation procedures, yet the patience to wait for her to wake up.
‘Karma, perhaps…?’
It seemed unlikely, yet she couldn’t think of anyone else. The uncertainty left her puzzled.
“I’ll go let them know you’re awake, then. You’re heading straight to your room after this, right?”
Ariel was lost in thought when her roommate suddenly spoke up, looking ready to dash off at any moment. Snapping back to the present, Ariel instinctively reached out and grabbed the girl’s arm before she could move.
“No, I’ll go myself. Who do I need to see?”
* * *
Following the directions given by her roommate, Ariel located the soldier in question. Upon recognizing her, he explained the situation and, after receiving her consent, escorted her to the visitation room.
On the way there, the soldier sent out a communication, just a brief message stating that he was bringing Ariel over. And when she finally arrived at the room, she found herself face-to-face with the person she had anticipated.
“I had a feeling, but I didn’t think it’d really be you. How did you even get here? What about work?”
A tall, striking woman with red hair and gray eyes clad in a military uniform – Karma Fereshte.
“I’m human too, you know. I get days off.”
Karma responded nonchalantly as she idly smoothed out her windswept red hair. Despite her casual tone, her sharp gaze bore into Ariel, scrutinizing her intently.
Then, her eyes landed on the faint swelling still visible around Ariel’s eyelids, and her brows furrowed.
