Chapter 19: Awareness (1)
Chapter 19: Awareness (1)
On a rainy midday, Ariel stepped out of Jin’s barracks, clutching the magic book he had given her. Though it had been forced upon her, she had taken it anyway, perhaps because she had felt a sudden need for it.
Jin’s kindness unsettled her. The thought that he might be connected to Aynkel’s death made it downright horrifying. And yet, she had accepted the book without hesitation, even feeling a sense of relief. The sheer absurdity of it all filled her with self-loathing.
‘So, even if I despise someone, I’ll use them if it benefits me?’
Scoffing at herself, Ariel cast a glance at the book in her arms.
It was a thick volume bound in muted red. Across its dark cover, the word “Flame” was emblazoned in an intense, fiery red. It was undoubtedly a book on fire magic.
‘Why fire magic, of all things?’
[Fire magic is highly effective against giants! And this is the North, right? Giants are everywhere up here, so my magic is the best!]
The answer came unbidden, reminding Ariel once again of just how much Jin was thinking about her.
‘…I hate it.’
Jin was somehow involved in Aynkel’s death, that much she was sure of. But without knowing the exact nature of that involvement, she couldn’t even properly resent him. Conflicted, she opened the book.
Unlike Rayner, Flame was written in Dantellan, a language she could understand, interspersed with magical script. As Jin had said, the offensive spells were clearly organized in progressive stages. Even with her limited knowledge of attack magic, she could quickly grasp what suited her best and even attempt to learn them.
It was, in many ways, a useful book. But it had one major flaw.
[Is he on your mind? Is that man bothering you? Are your thoughts all tangled up? You’re so confused, I can feel it! It’s making me dizzy too, whoa, whoa!]
It talked. Too much.
[That guy’s thoughts are a mess, too. So tangled, he doesn’t even know what he’s thinking! He must be so frustrated! Can’t even put it into words!]
Ever since realizing Ariel could understand it, Flame had been incessantly chattering in a high-pitched, birdlike voice.
The topic, Jin’s enigmatic state of mind, wasn’t unwelcome. But the book never revealed the details she actually wanted to know: the precise nature of his emotions, the truths he couldn’t bring himself to say, or why he couldn’t say them.
Instead, Flame just kept repeating variations of ‘You’re both really confused.’ And with its constant babbling, Ariel never even got the chance to ask.
Ariel had been a Phema for as long as she could remember, working in the library since she was twenty. She had listened to more books and written words than most people could ever imagine.
And yet, she had never encountered a book that loved to talk as much as Flame. For the first time, she realized just how many different ways the same sentence could be phrased. That endless repetition finally shifted when Ariel returned to her barracks and her gaze landed on Rayner.
[Oh, oh! That’s it! The legendary Ekaitz spellbook from Tarantella! Am I right? Am I right?!]
In a flash, Flame wriggled free from Ariel’s grasp and fluttered toward Rayner. Only then did it finally occur to Ariel – Flame was a sentient spellbook. But by the time she realized, it had already reached Rayner’s side.
The ordinary soldiers in the barracks, most of whom had never seen a magic book move on its own, gaped in astonishment. But Flame, the source of their shock, was oblivious. It simply hovered excitedly around Rayner, flitting in circles.
[Wow, wow! It’s the real Ekaitz spellbook!]
Ariel grimaced. Quickly, she grabbed Flame, flashing an apologetic smile at the onlookers. Fortunately, Flame didn’t struggle once she held it, settling down in her arms. At least, that was true from the soldiers’ perspective. In Ariel’s mind, Flame was still chattering nonstop.
[Oh wow! It’s famous for never opening, but I already know what’s inside! It’s just like me, an attack magic book! So nice to meet you, so nice to meet you!]
Rayner gave no response. He had never been much of a talker, even in Tarantella. Ariel, who had been ignored by him before, wasn’t surprised. But Flame, who was used to talking to itself, simply continued prattling on.
[I heard he stopped speaking. Guess that was true! But hey, being the silent type can be pretty attractive, too!]
Ariel found herself wondering. Who had written this book, and what kind of person were they to create something so endlessly talkative?
[But you know, even if you don’t say a word, I know a lot about you! I’ve been around a long time, after all! A masterpiece from the War Maniac himself – Zeno!]
[What a noisy thing to bring in.]
The words were a low growl, sharp with irritation. Ariel flinched.
[Oh! He spoke!]
[I don’t know where you picked up all this nonsense, but shut up. If you have to talk, talk about yourself.]
‘…He just swore.’
Rayner.
There was a chilling edge to his words, a murderous intent lurking beneath them.
Ariel nearly hiccuped. His voice was low to begin with, but combined with that aura, it sent a shiver down her spine. This was not the kind of presence a mere book should possess.
Even though she knew he wasn’t speaking to her, even though she understood that Flame was just a book and couldn’t actually do anything, she still instinctively tensed. Given that, it was no surprise that Flame, the actual target of Rayner’s ire, immediately fell silent.
The constant chatter came to an abrupt halt. Ariel felt Flame trembling in her arms.
[Y-yes… Hic, understood! Hic!]
Rayner said nothing more. Flame no longer babbled. For the first time since leaving Jin’s barracks, Ariel experienced true silence. And she welcomed it.
Whatever Flame had been rambling about, it must have hit a nerve with Rayner.
* * *
The rain lasted for four days straight before the skies finally cleared. Two weeks of training passed in a blur. Then, at last, the day arrived to mark the end of her monotonous, repetitive routine.
The weather was pristine, cloudless and bright. But despite the clear sky, Ariel’s mind had remained restless since that day.
Jin hadn’t shown himself even once in the past two weeks. And so, the conclusion she had drawn about his behavior kept resurfacing, haunting her thoughts.
Day by day, the image grew sharper. Her suspicions spiraled, each one feeding the next. Until finally, she found herself thinking: What if he killed Aynkel by accident?
That thought nearly drove her mad.
By the time their final training exercise ended, Ariel had officially shed the title of recruit and earned her rank as a full-fledged soldier. And with that, she was finally allowed to receive letters from outside.
Seizing a brief moment of free time as the instructors collected their mail, Ariel slipped out of the barracks with Flame in her arms.
[Oh? You have a question for me?]
Flame had grown noticeably quieter compared to the first day. The endless chatter, which had left no room for anyone else to speak, had come to an abrupt halt after being scolded harshly by Rayner.
Ariel found the sudden silence both strange and slightly concerning. As she headed out for training, she casually asked if Flame had been intimidated by Rayner’s reprimand. Flame replied that it had simply been too excited to finally meet someone who could understand it after nearly a thousand years.
Seated on a bench just outside the barracks, Ariel held Flame close and asked silently in her mind.
‘Do you know why he acts that way toward me? Did he kill my brother?’
She knew that asking about someone through a completely unrelated third party was disrespectful. It wasn’t right. But she had no other choice.
Within the military camp, she wasn’t in a position to demand a meeting with Jin. Even if she could, he wouldn’t tell her anything. He never had. But if she didn’t get answers soon, she feared she would start hating him beyond reason. She would convince herself that he had killed Aynkel.
[That… I don’t know. That man’s mind is so tangled, even he can’t make sense of it, so I couldn’t read it properly either. All I could hear clearly was that he kept saying he was sorry.]
Flame’s answer was no different from what she already knew. Ariel felt a flicker of disappointment, but she quickly accepted it.
‘Well, if it had known, it probably would’ve blurted it out on the first day.’
Even in its uncontrolled ramblings, there hadn’t been a single mention of anything useful. That could only mean it had no idea. But one thing was certain.
Aynkel’s death. Jin’s guilt. And herself, the one left behind.
Jin Kreutz had some kind of negative involvement in Aynkel Elias’s death.
A surge of grief welled up inside her. Resentment reached its breaking point.
She wanted to confront him, demand answers. How did my brother die? What was your involvement? Why did he have to die? Why won’t you tell me anything?
She wanted to grab him by the collar and shake the truth out of him. But reality set in far too quickly. She couldn’t. Her overflowing emotions pooled beneath her eyes, carrying the burning heat of molten lava.
