Chapter 79
For a moment, Adi’s eyes widened. That was something they had never considered. Since becoming Adrian, they had never thought about the possibility of returning to being Adrina. But now that Adrian too was dead, there was no real need to continue living as a man.
“There have never been female knights before. If you become a knight, you’ll face rejection. But if you remain a man, since you’ve already served as a knight in Palesa and your skills are recognized, none of those here would reject you. Even if they don’t fully accept you.”
Their skills were undeniably good. They had good instincts too. Beyond just skills, their sensitivity was different. Just as they had detected the assassin in Palesa, they had sensed the night watchmen’s approach in the forest before even Bert had.
The night watchmen had probably taken note of Adi too. And if Adi used Adrian’s name, they would surely be drawn into the night watchmen’s ranks. The Woodpecker house’s special unit that moved secretly at night never let talented individuals slip away.
“It would be easier to live as a man than as a woman, at least.”
However, if they were to live as a woman…
“Is that what you want?”
They might face rejection not just from the night watchmen, but even from the Woodpecker knights.
“If you want to be Adrian rather than Adrina, I can arrange that.”
Yuls played with Adi’s hair. The bright golden hair that amazed him every time he saw it. If they became a woman, he could see it grow out. Whether short or long didn’t really matter, but if it grew out, it would be easier to kiss their hair.
“If you want to reclaim your original self, I can arrange that too. But it would be harder. Living as a woman in a man’s world, that is.”
Yuls’s hand slowly fell away. Adi’s gaze followed his fingertips. They wondered when his hands had become so veined.
“You decide, Adi.”
Live as a woman, or live as a man.
Adi looked at Yuls. His burning red eyes seemed to reveal his desires. Adi realized what the Duke wanted.
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Not even half a day had passed, but Roy already seemed to have become friendly with everyone. Watching them conversing at the training grounds, Roy’s sociability became even more apparent.
Adi quietly observed them from the corridor connected to the training grounds. How nice it would be to live so carefree, but given their personality, they weren’t sure if that was possible.
Adi was troubled. The Duke hadn’t given much time. Perhaps due to his impatient nature, he had given little time when coming to Woodpecker too, leading to Adi’s impulsive agreement to join. Though they had regretted that decision later, it had turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
Now the second dilemma remained.
Was it better to live as a woman, or as a man?
They still weren’t sure. Of course, they knew being a man would be advantageous. A long shadow fell beside Adi as they pondered. Turning their head, they saw Bert standing there.
“Adi.”
“Bert.”
“Have you decided?”
They knew what he was asking about.
“Not yet.”
“…I didn’t know you were a woman.”
Nobody had known. Not in all those years there. How could Bert, who had only spent a few months together, have known? As Adi was about to say that was understandable, they moved their lips and then bowed their head. Bert looked puzzled.
“I heard you’re offering your surname. Thank you, though it’s late.”
“…It’s nothing much.”
“Not everyone can easily give away their surname.”
That applied to nobles. It didn’t matter for Bert. But it seemed to mean a lot to Adi. Well, they seemed more sentimental than expected. Learning the situation, Bert had to revise his assessment of Adi.
“Just what was Count Grimaldi thinking when he…”
However, there was still much he couldn’t understand.
“How could he do such a thing to you.”
“I don’t understand the Count’s intentions either.”
“Are you alright?”
“About what?”
Adi replied with an uncomprehending expression. Bert placed his hand on Adi’s head and stroked it.
“It’s okay to lean on others when things are tough.”
“…I’m not particularly troubled.”
Bert’s words still didn’t make sense. Adi wasn’t in a difficult situation.
“I’m just considering options.”
Just having to choose whether this or that would be better.
“Should I live as a woman, or should I live as a man?”
And at that moment, Bert felt his inevitable position as a Woodpecker vassal.
“I know it would be easier to live as a man. Just…”
Regardless of Adi Grimaldi being a woman, if they continued living as a man, it would be disadvantageous to Yuls Woodpecker in many ways.
“If I do that, I’ll have to live as a man forever. Can I deceive everyone?”
The Duke of Woodpecker wanted Adi Grimaldi, after all.
“But if I reveal myself…”
Adi’s gaze drifted to the distance. Following their line of sight, Bert saw Roy Gaillard at the end.
“…”
They couldn’t be involved romantically, could they? For a moment, he felt alarmed.
“I’ve been deceiving someone all this time. I feel guilty about that.”
Adi said.
“The moments we shared were lies. It’s paradoxical. If we hadn’t become close, I wouldn’t have such thoughts.”
Fortunately, it wasn’t the problem Bert had been thinking of.
“Until now, I wasn’t close to anyone, so I thought it wouldn’t matter if they found out.”
“What did His Grace say?”
“He told me to choose for myself. That living as a man would be easier, but returning to being a woman would be harder.”
If Bert had been alone, he would have held his head in his hands. Why would you say it like that? Though the Duke’s words weren’t wrong, wouldn’t it be more advantageous to suggest returning to being a woman?
“What do you want to do?”
At Bert’s words, Adi closed their mouth. Then soon, as if chewing on words, they opened it again. What did they want to do?
“I… I don’t mind if it’s difficult for me. I’m not even sure if it would be that difficult.”
“I’d like you to return to being a woman.”
Bert said.
“Of course, there are no female knights in Dalkatir. Probably not in most kingdoms either. But your skills as a knight have been recognized. That won’t disappear just because your gender changes.”
Then Bert continued, “However.”
“I agree it will be difficult.”
It’s a path no one has taken before. There will be those who reject you, those who ignore or refuse to acknowledge you.
“I can be on your side.”
Adi looked at Bert.
“I’ve given you my surname, how could I not support you?”
Seeing his hearty laugh, Adi wondered. They couldn’t understand why this person showed them such goodwill, why he gave such consideration. What benefit could there be.
“And if you do that…”
Bert stopped mid-sentence. It would be much better for the Duke’s house that way. For both of them, Adi should naturally return to being a woman. But he couldn’t say that directly. Adi looked at Bert and replied, “I understand.”
“I think it would be better to return to being a woman.”
Saying this, Adi stepped out of the corridor and added, “Though I’ll have to reveal the secret first,” before walking away quickly. W-where are you going? Bert followed Adi in surprise.
Adi approached Roy. Having seen Adi coming from afar, Roy reached out to the person he was with and ran over.
“You seem to have adapted already.”
“It’s an old friend. Found out they’re here in Woodpecker. I was asking about how to join the night watchmen.”
Roy said with a casual laugh.
“Want to join too? The night watchmen. With your skills, you’d be more than qualified. Not being too tall would be advantageous too. I hear the night watchmen don’t prefer people who are too tall. Moderate height and moderate looks…”
Would looks be a problem? Well, being too pretty would make it hard to do secretive work since you’d stand out. As Roy was thinking he might need to console Adi about the night watchmen being difficult, Adi spoke first.
“Roy, I have something to tell you.”
“Oh? What is it?”
“I’m a woman.”
“…Huh?”
“I’m a woman.”
For a moment, Roy made an expression as if he’d been hit on the head, responding with “Uh, what?”
“Adrian Grimaldi’s identity has been erased. So I need to create a new identity, and since I can’t live as a man forever, I’m going to return to my original gender.”
Bert, who had approached nearby, stopped in surprise. W-would you say that so quickly? Without any hesitation? Just like this?
“Sir Bert offered to give me his surname.”
Whether at a loss for words or unable to speak at all, Roy’s mouth opened and closed. His mind, turned blank white, couldn’t process any thoughts, and his throat, as if blocked, couldn’t let any words escape.
“From now on, I’ll be Adrina Din.”
Like a golem made by some mad wizard making mechanical sounds, Roy turned his head toward Bert. His expression asked what this meant. No, it seemed closer to begging someone to tell him that what he’d just heard was a lie.
Bert hadn’t known Adi was such a person of action. To bring it up so immediately after making the decision. Well, Palesa’s dog couldn’t have been expected to be docile.
Bert finally pressed his hand to his forehead.
Lilina
Adi give them a moment to breathe please 😭 firing off so fast leaving everyone whiplashed