Chapter 89
Chapter 89
After washing up, I dried my hair and changed clothes.
In my dazed state, I wandered aimlessly around the room, dragging my slippers across the floor. A strange anxiety made it impossible to stay still.
[Are you okay?]
[Irina, why don’t you try getting some sleep?]
The systems seemed to notice something was off with me and started worrying.
But even if I wanted to sleep right now, I couldn’t calm my racing heart.
“What’s wrong with me?”
Maybe it was because Vroom-vroom was badly hurt.
They said it would take an enormous amount of holy power to heal Vroom-vroom.
The only being capable of wielding that much holy power right now would probably be Sian Terezia.
But Sian wasn’t in the capital.
He had stayed in Luwin this time.
“But… I don’t think it’s just because of Vroom-vroom getting hurt.”
[Yeah. You’re really not yourself right now.]
[I think you need to calm down.]
I knew that too.
But I didn’t know how to calm down.
As I wandered without knowing what to do, there was a knock at the door.
“Come in.”
When I gave permission, the door clicked open.
Beyond it stood Cassis, wearing comfortable clothes with a fresh face, suggesting he had also washed up.
Seeing me standing by the window, he strode over with a worried expression.
“You’ve washed up. Aren’t you tired?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Then you should go straight to bed.”
When I answered with a bright smile, he slightly lifted both hands.
In them were a bottle of wine and two glasses.
“I was thinking of having a drink before bed. Would you like to join me?”
I blankly stared at the wine in Cassis’s hands.
‘Maybe I’ll feel better after some alcohol.’
So I smiled brightly.
“Why not?”
***
Cassis and I settled on the terrace adjoining the reception room.
Though it wasn’t well-maintained and looked a bit messy, we pulled up a table and two chairs.
“There are so many stars.”
“Come to think of it, today is the last day of the month.”
Perhaps because there was no moon, the sky was filled with stars.
We arranged the two chairs facing the garden so we could see the sky well, with a small table between them.
The weather was quite cool, so I wore a thick robe and sipped wine while absently gazing at the scenery outside.
There wasn’t much conversation between Cassis and me.
We enjoyed the silence, punctuated only by the occasional clinking of glasses.
“…I’ve been thinking a lot, but I finally feel at peace.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes.”
Is this the power of nature?
“I must have been really tired today.”
Though I knew it wasn’t very noble-like, I put both legs up on the chair.
I hugged my knees and lowered my head.
“Well, we did run around all day.”
“You’ve been through a lot mentally today.”
Cassis quietly added.
I just turned my head while resting it on my knees.
Cassis was sitting languidly in his chair, looking at the garden.
“Irina, you shouldn’t take what happened today lightly.”
“… I seem fine for someone who went through that.”
“That’s exactly the trap I’m warning you about.”
He said while pouring more wine into my empty glass.
“You’re not okay, Irina.”
I fell silent.
Though internally, I was rebelling with ‘What does Sir Cassis know!’
[Hahahahahahaha]
[Right, what would Cassis know about our Irina.]
[But this time, Cassis might be right.]
[Yeah yeah, after all, Cassis is more experienced in these things.]
The system, which could hear all my protests, laughed and tried to soothe me.
‘What’s Cassis more experienced in?’
[Well, battles like these?]
[Scenes where people die?]
[Moments where you have to fight for your life.]
‘….’
[And these are moments that Cassis will see until he’s sick of them.]
I closed my mouth and looked up at Cassis.
He spoke with an expressionless face.
“The moment you say you’re fine, that’s when you’re not fine.”
“…”
“People died right before your eyes. You witnessed those who were already dead.”
I lifted my glass to my lips to hide my expression.
I didn’t drink, just held it there.
The sweet-bitter wine wet my lips.
“Irina, you have a tendency to get used to pain inflicted on yourself.”
“That’s not true. I can’t stand pain at all!”
I protested immediately.
I’m the one who whines to the system with a ‘ugh’ at the slightest scrape.
But Cassis shook his head.
“I’m not talking about physical pain, but psychological pain. You’re used to enduring it. When someone insults you, rather than getting angry, you tend to brush it off with a ‘why are they like that?'”
“That’s just because I’m not the type to get angry easily.”
“But it still hurts, doesn’t it? Even if it’s small, those scratches still form.”
That’s true.
No matter how much I try not to give it meaning, when insults are thrown at me, they still grate on my nerves.
But that’s all.
“Those scratches pile up and become big scars.”
“Well, they’ll become healed wounds, right?”
“No. If you know it hurts, you should treat it.”
“…”
“But Irina, you brush it off, saying it doesn’t hurt.”
I wanted to argue something back, but couldn’t find the right words.
I just found it a bit absurd that I had to hear this from Cassis.
“What happened today… was definitely significant. It’s not something to brush off as being fine.”
“But even if I’m not fine, what would change?”
“The way you treat yourself would change.”
Hmm.
As I was pondering with my hand on my chin, thinking ‘Is that really true?’, I heard a low chuckle beside me.
“Your expression shows you’re not convinced at all.”
“Was it that obvious?”
When I asked with an embarrassed laugh, he nodded.
“But this is your first time, and I’ve been through this years ago. So even if you don’t trust me completely, please listen to me this time.”
“Okay.”
“Good.”
So I asked.
“Then what should I do?”
“Live earnestly as usual.”
I can do that well – living earnestly as usual.
I nodded.
“Eat meals on time, get plenty of sleep.”
I immediately raised my hand in objection.
“You don’t sleep properly either, Lord Cassis!”
He didn’t argue with my complaint.
He just stared at me silently.
When the comfortable silence was becoming awkward, he responded.
“Yes, since I can’t sleep, I at least want you to rest well.”
He said this and downed the wine in his glass in one go.
“Ah, shall we go in now? It’s a bit funny that I’m keeping you up after telling you to get plenty of rest.”
Now it was my turn to be at a loss for words.
“…”
Maybe Cassis’s insomnia came from trauma.
Maybe it was a complex manifestation of various factors.
How strange.
An indescribable emotion hit me.
It felt like that warm, soft feeling was bubbling up from deep inside and scattering at my feet.
“Irina?”
If Cassis’s gentle heart had a form, I would probably be covered in small, cute, transparent heart-shaped sand.
Cassis was holding the terrace door, waiting for me to come out.
I hesitated before moving.
He kindly, or perhaps gentlemanly, escorted me to my room.
Opening the door and placing a polite kiss on the back of my hand while saying goodnight, watching Cassis made me think deeply.
“Did my words upset you today?”
“…”
Of course not.
But strangely, the words wouldn’t come out.
“Still, if things get hard, please come find me anytime.”
He said goodbye simply like that and left the doorway.
I held onto the door, watching Cassis’s back for a while before returning to my bed.
“It’s strange.”
[What’s so strange?]
“It’s strange…”
Cassis couldn’t even properly understand his own state, couldn’t even realize how unwell he was.
He even asked me what happiness was.
Yet it’s strange that he understands these things so well.
[Why do you think that is, Irina?]
[Maybe because he’s already experienced it?]
[Probably because he’s already been through severe war trauma?]
“…If that’s the case, it’s too sad.”
Even though he himself hasn’t overcome that trauma and suffers from insomnia.
That night, I fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
The fatigue melted away by the hot bath, the light touch of wine, and Cassis’s warm heart all came together.
As deeply as I slept, I prayed that Cassis too would have a deep, dreamless night.
I prayed for him from the end of the corridor on the same floor.
***
The next morning, as soon as day broke, Cassis and I were dragged by the Lemiere ducal siblings who had barged into our house, heading to yesterday’s incident site.
In front of the half-destroyed Hellis mansion, I couldn’t help but make a sickened face.
“I didn’t realize it was this bad yesterday.”
“We were too frantic then.”
“But it seems they’ve taken care of all the bodies and injured.”
Isiel, who had stayed behind to help, shrugged his shoulders.
“We cleaned up all the Demonic Beasts too.”
Hearing that reminded me – what happened to that huge Demonic Beast that appeared through the torn space?
“What happened to that huge Demonic Beast?”
“Ah, ‘that one’?”
“Yes.”
“It stayed there all night. But when we checked this morning, only faint traces of the torn space remained, and it had completely disappeared.”
I swallowed dryly hearing those words.
When did Demonic Beasts appear in the original story?
Not now, at least.
They appeared some time after the female protagonist made her debut in society.
But I hadn’t heard any news about the abandoned princess appearing in society yet.
‘This is much earlier than in the original.’
Yesterday I was too focused on survival to think about this issue.
But it’s not something to take lightly.
Because…
‘The destruction is coming faster than scheduled.’
