Chapter 38

Several times, he kneaded her soft breasts with his palm, and then the man’s fingertips caressed the top of her nipple. Esdel shivered, feeling as if she knew what was coming next.

“Ah!”

The small bit of flesh was lightly flicked by a short fingernail. At the same time, her left breast, which was in his mouth, was sucked hard.

It was unfamiliar. A sense of shame that made her want to run out of the room right now coexisted with a desire to be closer to him. Esdel gasped for breath and hugged his back.

Red flowers bloomed on her skin from her chest to her navel. The hand that had been gripping her hip moved to her buttocks. The chemise that had slipped down while she thrashed was now half-caught between her hips and thighs.

“Lift your legs a little.”

Esdel nodded slightly and lifted her legs and hips. With the last of her defenses gone, Esdel was completely naked.

She stared at Theodore with anxious eyes. He stroked her white thighs and then forcefully spread them apart. Esdel resisted the urge to close her legs again and turned her head to the side. She felt his fingers brush against the inside of her thighs.

How does everyone live doing this?

She was ashamed. It wasn’t enough to stand there perfectly adorned; now she had to reveal the most secretly hidden parts of herself without reservation.

Esdel glanced back at the man at the sound of rustling. The man, positioned between her legs, was rolling up his sleeves. The distinct lines of his muscles were visible beneath the shirt sleeves.

Theodore took the perfume from the small table and opened the lid. The rich scent of roses filled the room. Esdel watched as the perfume dripped onto his fingers, leaning back against the pillow. The space between her slightly parted legs tingled.

Is he going to put his fingers in me now? That’s what they all seemed to do. Esdel breathed heavily, a mixture of anticipation and fear.

Noticing her trembling thighs, Theodore, thinking she was scared, stopped pouring the perfume and looked up.

The blue eyes that met hers were calm. Esdel was relieved by the man’s usual gaze, but also felt a faint sense of disappointment.

Theodore placed a short kiss on her right hip. His low voice followed.

“It won’t hurt. There’s no need to be afraid.”

“…I’m not afraid.”

“Yes, you are. You’re trembling like this.”

Esdel’s expression turned sheepish as he chuckled and caressed her trembling thigh.

“I-it’s okay, just do it quickly. It’s more embarrassing to just lie here…”

“Then shall we do that?”

Theodore moved his hand, sufficiently coated in perfume, to the inside of her thigh. Esdel closed her eyes just before he touched her vulva. It was too obscene for her, who had learned about love only through books.

But the next moment, Esdel regretted closing her eyes. The sensation of his smooth, perfumed fingers tracing her below became too vivid. The fingertips, which had been gently gliding as if searching for a place, slid down and stopped at a certain spot.

“Ah, wait, just a…”

Esdel’s eyes flew open, startled by the sensation of something penetrating her. A strange foreign object brought a sharp pain. She was suddenly scared and grabbed Theodore’s collar.

“That seems too thick, can’t you do it slowly?”

Instead of answering, Theodore pulled out the finger he had inserted into her vagina and showed it to her. It was just a single, long, straight index finger.

Esdel looked at it and thought for a moment. Should I run away now? If even a single index finger was this much of a struggle, she doubted she could handle what came next.

Noticing Esdel glancing toward the door, Theodore asked casually.

“Do you want to stop?”

She was silent for a moment, then shook her head. Might as well get it over with. If it’s something I have to do eventually, let’s do it now. A little pain won’t kill me.

With a rather grim expression, Esdel pulled on Theodore’s arm. He came willingly and placed Esdel’s hand around his neck. Theodore covered her lower half with his body and began to move slowly.

Just as the feeling of a single foreign object became familiar, another finger was added, penetrating her inside. Esdel wrapped her arms tightly around Theodore’s neck and endured the unfamiliar sensation. Theodore watched Esdel’s whimpering face and traced the area above her vagina with his thumb.

As soon as the small, hidden nub was pressed, Esdel trembled and closed her legs. The sudden clenching made the shape of his fingers feel even more distinct.

“Ah, Theodore, wait… that, if you don’t… ah!”

Confirming Esdel’s reaction, Theodore, instead of stopping, moved his hand more actively. Esdel’s lower abdomen tingled, and she kept trying to press her thighs together, but Theodore inserted his knee to keep them apart and continued his actions.

Every time he pressed and rolled his thumb over her clitoris, Esdel squeezed her eyes shut and turned her head to the side. She wanted to show him only her beautiful side, but her eyebrows kept furrowing. The moans escaping her lips and her flushed face probably weren’t very pleasant to see either.

Even as she thought this, her body responded faithfully to the stimulation. The sensation from her clitoris grew more and more intense. Theodore gently rubbed the top with his thumb while repeatedly moving the fingers inserted below.

The two fingers had somehow become three. As a slight excitement began to rise, Esdel’s lips parted slightly. Heuk, heuk, with each ragged breath, her firm breasts rose and fell.

It was strange. At first, she had clearly wanted to run away, but now she found herself wishing he wouldn’t stop, that he would rub a little harder.

Esdel whimpered and bucked her hips. The fingers moving in and out reached a little deeper. But it wasn’t enough. I want to be touched more. A little more, just a little closer…

Following the sensation of The Unknown, she tensed her lower body. Her buttocks lifted slightly, pressing the small bit of flesh against the man’s thumb. Still not enough. Not knowing what to do, Esdel hugged Theodore tightly.

“Esdel.”

“Heuk…”

“Esdel, look at me.”

She struggled to lift her face, which had been buried in his shoulder. Tears welled up in her flushed eyes. Theodore whispered sweetly for her to not cry, and increased the speed of his hand moving below.

He pulled his fingers completely out and then thrust all three back into her vagina, which was trying to close. Then, he pressed down hard on her clitoris.

“Heuk…!”

Esdel’s toes curled for a moment. The trembling of her whole body, like a convulsion, and the hiccup-like moan that escaped her felt strangely foreign, not her own. The first pleasure she had ever felt completely blanked her mind.

Unable to hold back, she let out a cry of pleasure, then clamped her hands over her mouth. Unable to bear the feeling of her lower body becoming wet, Esdel’s eyes filled with tears.

“Ugh, this is strange… don’t look this way. Just a moment, heu, can’t you close your eyes for a bit?”

Theodore smiled silently and cupped her chin. A short peck on the lips, and then he sat up. The man, who had thrown off his shirt in one motion, now had his hand on his belt.

Click. The metallic sound of the belt unbuckling was heard, but Esdel didn’t immediately recognize what it was.

Her vision was blurry. The ragged breaths escaping her lips, the space between her legs that had clenched shut as soon as he removed his hand, and yet the unreal sensation of something gushing out from below and soaking her.

She had never thought such a sensation could exist in the world.

“Ah…. Ahh, heuk…”

Esdel curled up into a ball. She wrapped her arms around her chest and turned on her side. Even then, unable to handle the first orgasm she had ever experienced, tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Esdel?”

“Yes…”

“Open your eyes and look here.”

Esdel shook her head. If I open my eyes, he’ll start moving again. Even this much was hard to bear. Her lower abdomen was churning as if on fire, and her mind was a complete blank. Just from his hand play.

The next moment, a breath touched Esdel’s chest as she lay there with her lips clamped shut. The breath, light as a feather, was ticklish, but as soon as something hard touched the tip of her nipple, her eyes flew open. He was biting the sensitive nub at the end of her breast with his teeth.

Ah, a small scream escaped. It was a light stimulation, like a baby’s nibble, but it was enough to make Esdel’s eyes widen as far as they could go. She looked at Theodore with a somewhat shocked expression. How could you do that there?

“J-just now, that…”

“Shall I do it again?”

“I don’t like th- ah!”

The nipple that had been bitten was bitten again lightly. While his white, hard teeth stimulated the base of the nipple, his red tongue licked its surface. Esdel cried continuously and wrapped her arms around his neck. Theodore diligently bit and licked the woman who was pulling him closer with both hands, even while muttering that she didn’t like it.

“If you don’t like it, you should push. Not pull.”

“Heu, I-I didn’t pull.”

Theodore’s eyes glanced at the arms wrapped around his neck. Still? His gaze seemed to ask. Esdel couldn’t say anything and just shook her head. She hated how he was being so mischievous, unlike his usual self.

Her breasts, held in the man’s hands, were sucked on alternately. Esdel, unable to keep her senses together from the constant stimulation, continued to sob.

Every time he squeezed her breast and then gently caressed it, it felt as if her whole body was being kneaded in his grasp. The space between her legs grew hotter. Every time she rubbed her tightly pressed thighs together, a wet sound was heard, making her face flush, but she couldn’t stop moving.

She craved his warmth. When he held and licked her breasts, her waist and the space between her legs felt empty, and when he held her shoulders and kissed her collarbone, her wet breasts grew cool.

She wanted him completely. She wanted to monopolize even the smallest bit of this man’s warmth and become one with him completely.

The lips that had been hovering around her chest moved up her neck to her face. Her dry mouth felt thirsty from constantly letting out moans. Esdel suddenly pulled him by the back.

As if he had been waiting, he caught her lower lip and bit it. As she opened her lips, nibbling like she was receiving food, his tongue intertwined with hers. Theodore held Esdel’s chin with one hand and kissed her deeply.

Heuk. The tongue that delved deep was overwhelming, yet she was glad. Esdel reached out her hands as if pleading and held him closer. Occasionally, when his thick tongue touched the back of hers, she felt a faint urge to gag, but even that returned as a form of pleasure.

Esdel used to quickly turn the pages whenever the heroines in countless novels cried out in pleasure. She couldn’t understand how one could lose their mind and writhe in pleasure in front of a loved one. Sometimes, she even found it distasteful.

Wasn’t it so? A woman with her long neck thrown back, her whole body trembling, sobbing and moaning. In every way, it was far from noble.

Every time Esdel saw something like that, she would make a resolution. When the day of her wedding night came, she would be beautiful, upright, and composed.

What a foolish thought.

“Ugh, ungh…”

“Haah.”

As their lips parted, a thin thread of saliva formed.

Tears welled up every time the sensation peaked. Esdel rubbed her red eyes and whispered in a hoarse voice.

“I like you.”

“……”

“Even if you don’t like me right now… it doesn’t matter. Because I, heu, I like you.”

Theodore didn’t answer. Having said it, Esdel didn’t have the confidence to look into the man’s eyes, so she pretended not to notice and reached out her hand to hang on his neck. But then, she felt something poking her thigh.

Esdel flinched and let go of the man’s neck. There’s nothing that should be poking me, so what am I being poked by? She slowly lowered her gaze and only then belatedly realized that the man was also naked. A huge penis was touching her thigh.

‘Is this… right?’

Esdel’s eyes wandered in the air, lost.

It was much bigger than she had thought, and also grotesque.

She shouldn’t say this about a human body, but the man’s ‘that’ seemed alive. Of course, it was alive. It was, but did it really need to be this independently alive?

Esdel froze. It was the first time in her life she had seen a man’s penis, but what was even more shocking was the fact that she would soon have to put it inside her.

‘…If I had known, I would have asked him to get undressed before we got engaged! Or at least secretly felt him up through his pants!’

The sex education given to noble young ladies was often worse than novels. But sometimes, at the discretion of their tutors, they would give practical advice, most of which was about how to deal with marrying a man with a penis that was too small. She had never been taught how to deal with a penis that was much larger than expected.

She swallowed dryly.

‘Lin… maybe moderation in all things is for the best…. At least if it’s small, you won’t die on your wedding night, right?’

Esdel shivered. Seeing that her eyes showed no sign of leaving his penis, Theodore took her arm and placed it on his chest. The firm lines of his muscles touched her fingers.

“It’s embarrassing if you stare too much.”

“Liar…!”

“Yes, it’s a lie.”

Esdel, who had been watching him cautiously, quickly closed her legs and tried to run away. She turned her body and crawled on all fours. But before her two feet could even touch the floor, she was caught by Theodore’s hand.

He lightly pulled on Esdel’s ankle as she kicked at the bedsheets, and then wrapped it around his waist.

Her flailing upper body was soon embraced by the man. Theodore, with a tender expression, cupped Esdel’s cheeks and left kisses on her forehead and the tip of her nose. It was a warm kiss that made her whole body tingle.

But Esdel was no longer fooled by that face. She could feel the presence of his penis poking between her parted legs.

The penis, parting her light-colored pubic hair, was circling the entrance to her vagina as if exploring. Feeling its volume, which seemed much larger than when it was on her thigh, Esdel urgently tapped his shoulder.

“Is that, is that going to work? Don’t you think it won’t work either? Heu, ah, don’t move… heuk!”

The bobbing penis scraped up against her vulva. The tip of the penis rubbed against the nub that had been swollen and round from all the attention it had received just a moment ago.

Heuuu, Esdel squeezed her eyes shut and gasped for breath. Her body, which had been trying to escape by pushing against the man’s shoulders, also lost its strength.

Theodore, despicably, did not miss that moment and pushed Esdel’s upper body back. He placed a pillow under Esdel’s lower back and pulled her two legs up onto his shoulders.

Esdel, whose lower body was now completely exposed to the man’s view, flailed her two legs in the air, but it was already too late. Theodore showed no intention of letting go of the thighs he had firmly held apart.

“Ugh…”

As Esdel gripped the sheets with teary eyes, Theodore pressed his penis against her clitoris and rubbed it gently. The man leaned forward and sucked the frightened breath from Esdel’s lips. He could feel the trembling lips of the woman’s body, which had been carefully warmed up to release her tension, now stiffen again.

Theodore let out a hollow laugh. His rough breath was laced with suppressed heat.

“Are you that scared?”

“Of course! You probably can’t imagine since it’s not happening to you, but right now, this, this is…”

“I won’t move, so try inserting it yourself, slowly.”

“…Pardon?”

“It will hurt less that way. If I move myself now… I don’t think I’ll be able to consider you enough.”

A low breath tickled her ear. The man’s voice was filled with suppressed excitement. Esdel was horrified as she felt the penis, which was slowly circling her lower parts drenched in her own fluids, grow larger.

When did it start? I thought this was all nothing to him… Why did he suddenly start getting excited?

As Esdel froze with a bewildered expression, Theodore chuckled. He seemed to be stroking her back, then he grabbed her hips and pulled her forward sharply. The tip of his penis gently pushed its way into her vagina.

“Ah!”

“Keuk, you said, you like it.”

“Ah, augh, wait…”

“You definitely said that, that you like me.”

“Heuk…”

Theodore furrowed his brow and stopped advancing. He put on the brakes before even a knuckle of his finger had entered, and let out a deep breath. The veins bulging on his neck continued up to his face, dyeing it red.

He wiped the tears that had welled up in Esdel’s eyes and muttered in a hoarse voice.

“Insert it slowly. I’ll wait.”

How am I supposed to insert this myself!

She understood that it would hurt less if she controlled it herself. But that was a statement that considered only the physical pain. Why didn’t he consider the shame of having to move herself on her wedding night?

Not knowing what to do, Esdel first lowered her legs from his shoulders. While she changed her position, supporting herself with her hands behind her, Theodore just watched.

Okay, I’ve lowered my legs. Now I just need to pull out what’s inside for a moment and get into position.

Just as Esdel was slowly moving her hips back, her body was suddenly lifted high. Theodore had lifted Esdel’s body in one swift motion, with his penis still slightly inside her.

“Aheuk!”

Suddenly finding herself in mid-air, Esdel grabbed the man’s neck. She was afraid that her body might fall and deepen the insertion, but fortunately, that didn’t happen. Theodore was holding her back with one hand and supporting her buttocks with the other.

“Heu, don’t, don’t let go!”

With the eyes of a frightened rabbit, she wrapped her legs around the man’s waist. Theodore answered by gently stroking her back.

As the man moved, their joined genitals moved up and down inside her. The light back-and-forth motion didn’t seem to be Theodore’s intention, but the stimulation was still there.

The thick penis was teasingly at the entrance, almost in, almost out. Her slender waist, tightly drawn in, trembled.

“Wh-heuk, what are you doing now…”

“Changing your position. So that you can move more comfortably.”

Theodore patted her back and sat on the edge of the bed. Soon, Esdel was in a position that looked as if she was actively riding the man who was sitting on the bed. Only then did she seem to understand what the man had intended.

The man’s massive, erect penis was positioned beneath her round, primly parted buttocks. Without needing to move with difficulty, it was an angle where she could fully embrace him just by lowering her hips.

Theodore gave her a look as if to say, now try it.

Can I do it? Esdel swallowed hard. As she tensed her stomach with nervousness, her lower parts also tightened slightly. At the same time, the man’s blue eyes narrowed sharply.

“Ha…”

A low moan escaped. For a moment, a dark light flickered in his blue eyes.

The man, who had squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them, moved his hand from stroking Esdel’s waist to her hip. The round hip bone was gently rubbed by the man’s palm.

The man’s face was completely different from usual. His furrowed brow was filled with a dark and urgent look. Esdel was confident that she wouldn’t be surprised if he grabbed both her hips and slammed her down right now. That’s how excited he looked.

When he first entered this room, she had never imagined he would pounce on her like this.

Esdel drew courage from the sight of the man who had lost his composure.

She wanted to make this man even more excited. She wanted him to gasp for breath, to be desperate to press their bodies together like a beast. Just as Esdel had been a moment ago, she hoped he would feel the same way.

Having made her difficult decision, Esdel got into position. Then she pleaded with Theodore.

“…Stay still. Don’t move until I say you can. Do you understand?”

“Of course.”

Theodore removed his hand from stroking her body and placed it on the blanket. His precarious eyes were fixed on Esdel.

Esdel slightly relaxed the tension in her thighs, which she had been holding firm. Then, hanging on his neck, she slowly began to lower her hips.

Heok, it was difficult from the start. Sweat and tears streamed down her face from the pain and the feeling of a foreign object. Esdel whimpered but squeezed her eyes shut and continued to move. The sensation of the tip, which had been caught, unable to pass through her vagina, scraping against the mucous membrane as it entered was vivid.

“Ah, heuuu… it hurts…”

“Shh, it’s okay.”

Esdel bucked her hips in pain and tensed her lower body. As her insides tightened, a short groan escaped the man’s lips.

“Keuk, Esdel…”

He cupped her white cheeks, which were now streaked with tears, and kissed her. Only after he gently wiped away her tears did Esdel finally calm down.

She clung to the man’s neck as if it were a lifeline and glanced down. She could see his penis, still more than half of which remained outside.

‘What do I do?’

Esdel’s face crumpled.

Her insides already felt full. Her lower abdomen tingled, and she felt a pressure inside as if she were about to burst. Even the slightest movement from him made her whole body tremble and her eyes well up with tears.

Moreover, her thighs were aching from being stuck in a half-standing, half-sitting, awkward position.

She whimpered in a trembling voice.

“Th-Theo…”

“Yes.”

“I, I don’t think, heuk, I can go on…”

As Esdel’s movements slowed, Theodore asked casually. Shall we stop then? It was more of a polite suggestion than a question, but Esdel didn’t catch the implication.

“Really, can we really stop?”

“…Of course.”

Esdel, oblivious to how anxious Theodore was, considered it seriously. A few seconds later, fortunately for Theodore, Esdel shook her head and said.

“I, heuk, I… I’m greedier than I look.”

“I know.”

“But, haah, you’re my husband now. So, everything is mine… I can’t not know something…”

She didn’t want to think about it in this situation, but it was highly likely that Theodore had already been intimate with the Esdel Reinhardt of the past. So that woman, who was also her, must have known this man inside and out.

“Everything my past self knew, I need to know everything too. Even if, heuk, it’s something like this.”

Theodore wiped the sweat from Esdel’s forehead with his hand. In the faint darkness, his blue eyes glinted.

“If you say that, it makes it harder for me to hold back. Esdel.”

“Don’t, hold back… help me. I don’t, have the courage anymore…”

Esdel asked for help and rested her chin on Theodore’s shoulder. It was an act of entrusting the control of her entire body to him. Soon after, she felt a hand cup her hips.

Theodore whispered, kissing her between the eyebrows.

“Breathe in. It’s going to hurt a little.”