Chapter 8

“Are you that curious? Everything, all of it. The Unknown, the human who spread it, I want to get rid of them all! But the only thing I can do is not die? This isn’t a joke, really…”

Her voice was completely hoarse, making it difficult to even understand her words. Listening to her own voice, Esdel burst into even greater sobs.

A person who pours out their emotions anywhere, how awful. This was why she had asked him to leave. If she had been given time to swallow her emotions alone, she would have been fine in no time, but why on earth did he stay by her side and voluntarily listen to words he didn’t have to hear?

Esdel clutched her chest and panted for breath. She could feel the emotions she had forcibly stopped swirling inside her.

“…I’m sorry. Forget what you just heard and please leave now.”

“I will leave after seeing you get better.”

Esdel looked at him with reddened eyes.

Unlike her, who was crying her eyes out, there was not a hint of agitation on Theodore’s face. Even if he saw a stranger crying on the street, it seemed impossible to put on a colder expression than this.

‘Who looks at someone they love with such emotionless eyes.’

Esdel recalled the words she had said to Lin before.

Those words were not right. Esdel remembered the clear emotion that had been in the man’s eyes at the moment he handed her the ring. It was a fleeting moment, like the sun appearing through dark clouds, but Esdel had clearly seen the trajectory of that emotion.

That’s why she couldn’t understand even more.

The reason he appeared so emotionless, to the point of not seeming human, was it because he was suppressing his emotions flawlessly? Or was it because that was all the emotion he had left?

She couldn’t know which answer was correct. But if there was one thing she could guess, it was that the only time the man showed emotion was when Esdel was involved.

Esdel let her body go limp with a tired face. No matter how much better her condition had become, her body had been sick for three days and nights. After pouring out her tears to the point of exhaustion, all that was left was an encroaching drowsiness.

Esdel muttered in a weak voice.

“Why on earth did you propose to me?”

“…”

“I don’t see what benefit you can gain from this marriage.”

Before answering, Theodore took a handkerchief from his pocket and held it out. When Esdel just looked at it and didn’t take it, he took a step closer and wiped her red eyelids himself. Unlike his blunt face, the handkerchief that touched her eyes was soft.

“There is no need to think of me. You just have to do what you want to do.”

Theodore put the handkerchief away in his pocket and placed the pillow Esdel had thrown back into her arms. The blanket that had been crumpled in one corner was also soon spread out neatly over her two knees.

He spoke in a soft, soothing voice, as if to comfort Esdel.

“There are many people looking for you outside. I delivered the letter you wrote to the Count’s family, but they don’t seem to believe it either.”

“Handwriting can be forged anytime. Didn’t you get a reply asking how much it would take?”

“A reply did come, saying there would be no negotiation.”

“That’s a shame. It was a chance to secretly pocket a large sum of money.”

Esdel muttered softly and hugged the pillow. The pillow that touched her chin smelled of winter.

By now, there must be chaos at the Count’s mansion. Her mother would be insisting there would be no negotiation with the kidnapper, her father would be secretly preparing the ransom money on his own, and if Lars had survived, he would be leading the knights and searching every corner of the domain.

Theodore, who had closed the curtains on the sunlit window, was now about to leave the room. Esdel muttered at the back of his head as he held the doorknob.

“Marriage can’t be the first thing in my life.”

Theodore turned around.

“If you proposed with that expectation, I’m telling you I can’t fulfill that expectation.”

Meeting the man’s still hard-to-read eyes, Esdel finished her words.

Since everything had changed, Esdel had to change too.

The life where the only problem was a group of suitors she didn’t like was now over.

The domain had been trampled. The land she thought would always be peaceful had been invaded, and the people of the domain had been harmed.

As the heir to the county, what Esdel had to do was set. She would have to stabilize the domain and prevent the same thing from happening again.

‘But…’

Lin was dead.

Only now that she was lost did Esdel realize that Lin was the only private thing in her life.

The desirable path of life as the heir to the county had been designed from birth. She couldn’t say it had never been suffocating, but she had never had the heart to defy it.

That’s what she had thought.

‘But maybe I… for a very long time, didn’t want to get married at all.’

Marriage or the domain, raising an heir. Maybe she wanted to throw all that stuff away and just travel together as Lin had said. While always brushing it off as a joke, a part of her heart had been hoping that such a day might come.

Later, after a very long time had passed, after marrying someone suitable and passing on her position to the heir she had. Around then, she thought they could really go on a trip together.

Even though there was no such thing as a future that could be guaranteed.

Feeling her hands tremble again, Esdel pressed her lips together. She tried not to show it, but she couldn’t stop a small breath from escaping at the start of her words.

“I, I want revenge.”

Esdel wanted to send her off properly.

Not by comforting the living with lip service about the deceased being at peace now while praying at a funeral, but by letting her go in a way she could accept. If she didn’t, she felt she would never be able to shake off her shadow from behind her back.

“I’m going to find out why the Consumed appeared in the domain. And if this happened because of someone’s malice, I will make sure they pay the price.”

“It will not be an easy task.”

Theodore added quietly.

“You may not achieve it even if you devote your whole life. Is that friend worth that much?”

“Value should be found within myself, not in others.”

Esdel answered immediately.

“Whether Lin is a person of that much value is not important. But the days I spent with her were very precious to me. So much so that I won’t forget them even after a lifetime.”

“There are times when it’s better to leave memories as memories. When memories become the reason for choices, even the memories of the past are bound to be tainted.”

“Was it like that for you?”

Instead of answering that question, Theodore lightly turned the doorknob he was holding. It was a clear evasion, but there was no justification to hold him back. Soon, with the creak of the door opening, a soft voice overlapped.

“As I said again, don’t mind me and do what you want to do. It is enough for me to just be able to watch that.”

There was no hesitation in the steps of the man leaving the room. Esdel listened to the fading sound of footsteps and buried her face in the pillow.

The man who was to be her husband seemed to have more secrets than she thought.

Theodore took Esdel to the front of the Count’s mansion before the sun rose the next day. In a wooden carriage where the inside could not be seen from the outside, he gave her a few points to be careful about.

“The bodies of the transmitted must be cremated. If they are buried in water or interred, there is a possibility of transmission to those who come into contact with the body.”

Esdel, who had been gradually accepting the situation over the past few days, nodded her head calmly.

“Is the ash left after cremation okay?”

The remains of the dead domain’s people and knights, and above all, Lin’s. Esdel asked out of a lingering desire to leave at least a trace of the victims, but Theodore lightly shook his head.

“It would be better for that not to be directly inhaled or to touch bare skin either. The probability is low, but it’s not that there have been no cases of transmission.”

The man took something out from his coat and placed it in her hand. It was a round container the size of half a palm, and when she opened the lid, there was a sponge along with a white powder inside.

“…Is this a cosmetic?”

“It is a powder used to hide the mark of the Unknown. I don’t think I need to explain how to use it, but you just have to pat it on your skin.”

Esdel agreed and put the container he gave her in her bag.

Last night, Theodore had advised that it would be better to keep the fact that she was an Awakened of the Unknown as secret as possible. The perception of the Unknown was grim in most countries, and it would be even more so in the Kingdom of Arpenta, where they couldn’t even distinguish between the Consumed and the Awakened yet.

He was right.

All Esdel knew about the Unknown was what Theodore had told her. Only after grasping how each country treated the Awakened of the Unknown could she decide how best to conduct herself.

“You said you wanted revenge.”

“…Yes.”

“In that case, you will have to go up to the capital first. There are a few organizations in the capital made by the Awakened, and you can think of it as all information regarding the Unknown being handled there.”

“Organizations made by the Awakened…”

“Yes. So after you finish what you have to do here, come up to the capital right away. I will be waiting there.”

Soon the carriage stopped. Just before getting ready to get off, Esdel asked one last time.

“I refused earlier, but I’ll ask one more time. Do you have any intention of coming in with me to see my parents?”

“I think seeing them at the wedding will be enough.”

Theodore’s answer was the same as the one she had heard before leaving. It was a simple refusal that left no room for rebuttal.

‘I don’t think it will be enough…’

Esdel made a sour face.

What parents on earth would see the groom’s face for the first time at the wedding ceremony?

It was nonsense, but what could she do? She couldn’t drag him when he himself didn’t want to, and she didn’t have a proper way to drag him, who was much stronger than her.

Theodore, who had escorted her out of the carriage, bowed his head lightly.

“Then, as promised, I’ll see you in the capital. Stay healthy until then, Esdel.”

“Yes, see you in a few days.”

Esdel waved her hand nonchalantly. Then, Theodore, who was inside, waved back.

Esdel, who had not thought he would respond, was flustered, but she waved her hand until the carriage disappeared from view. Since they were getting married anyway, there was nothing wrong with getting along.

And when the carriage was finally out of sight, Esdel turned her body and headed toward the Count’s mansion.

Now, it was time to finish the things she had postponed for four days.

👑🏰

As soon as she stood in front of the main gate of the Count’s mansion, walking through the cluttered street, she heard a resounding roar. At the same time, the sharp tip of a spear was thrust before her eyes.

“Who goes there! Peddlers are forbidden from entering right now!”

“It’s me.”

“State your name!”

Esdel glanced at the guard who couldn’t recognize the lady he served just because she had a hood on. Looking closely, he was a low-ranking knight Esdel knew by face.

The cowardly knight she had deliberately ditched on her way to find Lin.

‘If the commander finds out I left the young lady behind, he’ll kill me, ack!’

Esdel clicked her tongue, recalling the last words the cowardly knight had left. Fortunately, it seemed Lars hadn’t killed him, but seeing a knight, even a low-ranking one, standing guard here, she could guess the situation.

“Were you demoted to guard duty because you left me behind?”

“What are you talking abou… wait, y-y-young lady?”

“Yes. Now that you know, open the gate.”

Esdel said, tapping on the iron bars of the main gate.

The knight’s face turned pale, then red again. He hurriedly opened the gate and announced her presence to those inside.

The first person to spot her was the Count of Reinhardt. Her father, who had been staring down endlessly from the second floor, ran out in his slippers as soon as he saw Esdel crossing the garden.

The Count examined Esdel from head to toe. Only after confirming that she was physically intact, at least on the outside, did he let the tears welling in his eyes fall.

“Esdel, my dear daughter, I tried to negotiate somehow and prepared the money, but your mother took it from me…”

As she was comforting her father, who started with tears, Marie soon ran out. Marie supported her staggering father and burst into tears with him.

“Sob, young lady, I blamed myself so much thinking this happened because I told you Roan had disappeared. I’m so glad you’re safe.”

Next to appear were her mother and, thankfully, a living Lars. The two had relatively calm faces, but they were walking twice as fast as usual.

The Countess looked at Esdel blankly and then let out a small sigh.

“You’re fine. I thought you would be.”

“Haha, I told you she would be fine.”

“I don’t want to hear the words of a knight commander who couldn’t even find my daughter.”

As Lars stepped back with an awkward face, the Countess sighed once more.

In an atmosphere like walking on thin ice, Esdel fiddled with the engagement ring on her left hand. It’s always best to say these things quickly. Postponing it, waiting for the right time, always leads to disaster.

She stopped the group who were about to move inside.

“I have a lot to tell you.”

“Daughter, first come inside and…”

“I’m engaged.”

Esdel raised her left hand. The large diamond on her ring finger sparkled under the sunlight.

“And, I’m going to the capital. I plan to have the wedding ceremony there.”

Thud. Lars dropped the sword he was holding. Following that, the shawl Marie had draped over the Count’s shoulders slid off, and the Countess’s eyes went wide.

“My, daughter…”

Finally, the Count stared at the ring with a pale face and then fainted.

👑🏰

“That was rash, Esdel.”

The Countess muttered as soon as the two of them were alone in the office.

“Don’t you know what kind of person your father is? You should have told me first.”

“I’m reflecting on my actions.”

The Countess sighed, pressing her temples. Esdel, who had no excuses even if she had a hundred mouths, politely placed her hands on her knees. Saying she didn’t know he would faint was meaningless now.

“So what’s this about suddenly getting married?”

It was a difficult question to answer easily. Before confessing the events of the past few days, Esdel asked first.

“How much do you know about the Unknown?”

“I know as much as I need to. After those damn things stirred up the domain a few days ago, I did some investigating. Since most of the bodies found covered in black letters were wearing clothes from the Cartara Islands, I made inquiries there.”

A wrinkle formed on the Countess’s brow. She, who had been continuously pressing her forehead, soon pulled out the hairpin that held her upswept hair and tossed it roughly on the table. Her neatly pulled-back silver hair flowed down.

Then, she swept her hair to one side and asked bluntly.

“Did you become an Awakened?”

“…Yes.”

“I thought so. Lin Pendra’s body was found, but you were nowhere to be found in the vicinity. No matter how talented you are, the swordsmanship you trained to only the level of a low-ranking knight would have been useless in getting out of there…”

The Countess made a troubled face.

“Right. Then that man you’re engaged to must be an Awakened too. Is it that guy? The one who killed the second son of the Maxwell family a month ago.”

“That’s right, it is, but…”

“Ah, there’s no need to defend him. I have no intention of saying anything about him killing that Maxwell bastard or the Consumed found after that. We received a lot of help while you were missing, too.”

Despite the Countess’s calm reaction, Esdel broke into a cold sweat down the back of her neck. To be honest, she felt more nervous than when she first faced the Consumed.

As if she knew her daughter’s nervous heart, the Countess continued with her piercing eyes.

“Still, it would be best to break off the marriage. We will offer monetary compensation from our side… and if he wants, I’ll work to get him a title.”

“I have no intention of breaking off the marriage, Mother.”

“Why? Ah, I did hear about it. That he’s quite handsome.”

“His face is one thing, but more than that…”

Esdel thought of the man she had seen over the past few days. If they had spent a few days together like that, it’s normal to get to know each other whether you like it or not. But she still didn’t know anything properly about Theodore.

Esdel, who had been hesitating, finished her words.

“…He’s strange.”

“Then break up with him.”

“I feel like I shouldn’t let him go.”

“You’re mad. Shall I call a doctor for you?”

She heard the Countess click her tongue. But Esdel found it difficult to find any other explanation.

There was something about that man. There was an inexplicable conviction that he would be needed in the process of getting revenge for Lin and adapting as an Awakened.

“If you’ve heard the stories, you would know, Mother. That man knows a lot about the Unknown. And he’s one of the strongest among the Awakened. We need someone like that.”

“And there’s no alliance as strong as marriage. Right, that means you have no intention of changing your mind.”

The Countess, who had understood Esdel’s meaning at once, leaned back on the sofa and shook her head. She rang a bell instead of trying to persuade Esdel any further. Telling the maid to bring tea, the Countess muttered.

“I should have gone to see his face when Sir Lars told me about him last time… What does he look like that’s got my child so out of her mind.”

“…It’s not because of that…”

“Right. But Esdel, if he looked like Sir Lars, would you have readily accepted his proposal? Be honest.”

Esdel decided to keep her mouth shut instead of daring to refute her mother’s words. Following the turmoil in the domain, she was now getting her only daughter married. It was obvious to her eyes that her mother was trying to lighten the mood somehow with a calm face.

Her mother sighed softly and asked.

“So how old is that guy?”

“…”

“…You don’t know his age either?”

This time, Esdel was truly at a loss for words.

In fact, it was correct to say that she didn’t just not know his age, but that she knew nothing but his name and face.

👑🏰

Esdel stared blankly at Marie, who was packing with the other maids. She still hadn’t gotten over the lingering effects of the conversation she had with her mother a moment ago.

The expression her mother had made when she said she didn’t know Theodore’s age wouldn’t leave her mind. Her mother’s eyes, which hadn’t been very surprised even when she said she had become an Awakened, had widened to a degree that seemed impossible to get any bigger.

Her choice was clearly for the sake of the family. But if asked whether the visual aspect had no influence on her choice, there was an ambiguous corner. It was an objective fact that Theodore’s appearance was handsome, and it’s difficult to completely ignore what you can see.

Esdel stealthily removed the pillow she had been hugging tightly from her chest. The skin that had been touched by his hands so tiresomely for a few days somehow felt hot.

Marie approached Esdel, who was sitting with a blank face. She was holding an armful of dresses.