Chapter 38
The unfamiliar portrait of an unfamiliar woman on the desk explained most of the situation. The research student’s pitying smile completed the rest.
Alice understood the situation but, not knowing how to adapt to rudeness, she left the lab as she always had, following the professor’s words.
Afterward, Nathan never called for Alice again.
A step late, resistance sprouted in Alice’s heart.
He didn’t even have the decency to tell me he was engaged himself? Am I some shameful burden he needs to shake off as soon as possible? Was your thesis created by your efforts alone?
I am not your shame.
That thought filled Alice’s mind completely.
On graduation day, Alice went to give Nathan a final greeting. She planned to just say “Thank you for everything” and leave.
Surely he wouldn’t run away in such a public place as the graduation ceremony.
That day, as expected, Nathan was flustered but didn’t run away. She even managed to exchange names with Marie sitting beside him.
But before she could speak more with Nathan, reporters rushed in to cover the first female medical school graduate, and Alice fled from them. She couldn’t announce to the world that she hadn’t secured a job yet.
The next day, when she went to pick up her diploma, it had somehow gone missing. She was only able to get a reissued copy months later.
Those who handed it over said, “Since you wouldn’t want to burden Professor Nathan either, leave quickly while he’s teaching.”
Her connection with Professor Nathan, which began at eighteen, ended like that.
No. She thought it had ended.
“Ha, I never thought I’d wish it had ended then.”
Alice’s mouth twisted upward. A self-mocking sigh escaped through it.
When she was trying to put her life in order, Marie La Serda suddenly barged in, and the wheel of fate began turning again.
The fact that he still wasn’t married years after the marriage talks suggested Nathan’s academic career hadn’t been as smooth as his ambitions.
All sorts of thoughts came to mind. She knew now that Nathan had never been a good mentor. She’d be lying if she said she felt no resentment. But still, once upon a time, he had been like a small god to her.
Who would have thought she’d reunite with an even more twisted Nathan in this unknown village at the edge of the world.
“I have no intention of telling the professor the truth now. After letting the misunderstanding persist for years, saying ‘I never liked you’ would just make us both look ridiculous.”
Though it’s a bit unpleasant that the misunderstanding continues… If Nathan wanted to believe, Alice likes me, so she won’t harm me, then fine. Let him.
“Well, that’s all I have to say. Funny, isn’t it?”
Alice wiped her eyes with her sleeve. Though her tears had long dried and felt crusty, it was to hide her embarrassment.
“I meant to take this to my grave but got worked up and blabbed. Don’t tell anyone else.”
At the end of the long story, Fiore, the sole audience, responded incredulously:
“How could you take this to your grave? Seeing how you spilled everything the moment you opened your mouth, the coffin lid wouldn’t even close.”
“I only rambled because I got carried away, but it’s nothing special. To summarize: Professor Nathan was unpleasant, and I was naive. The end.”
“Wrong. You talk like someone who has to find a moral in every story.”
“Should I try again? I never loved Professor Nathan but nobody knew that, and I suffered alone with this misunderstanding for nearly 10 years… Hmm. Better to summarize it as ‘I was stupid.'”
“Cutting a wrong answer in half doesn’t make it right. Wrong again, doctor.”
“Hold on. Why are you the one grading me?”
“Because everything until now was meant for me to hear.”
“…”
It’s not like I specifically meant it for you. It was a past I always wanted to tell someone about, and you just happened to be the first listener…
Though she denied it internally, her lips wouldn’t move.
Did I ever intend to tell this to anyone?
…No. I would have kept it bottled up.
It was enough that this person who just made me cry heard the truth.
Perhaps, for now.
Instead of affirming or denying his words, Alice asked.
“If my answer is wrong… then what’s the right answer, Fiore?”
Before answering, Fiore bent his knees. Eyes like rippling pools were placed before Alice.
“The answer is obviously ‘I don’t love Nathan.’ That’s all I needed to know.”
“…What?”
Before her mind could understand the sentence, something felt like it had thrown a stone at her aortic arch, making a corner of her chest surge. Alice inhaled deeply as if to suppress her heart with air.
Don’t think foolish thoughts. Don’t misunderstand. After talking about what an unpleasant fool someone was, do you want to do the same thing as him?
This is just a misunderstanding.
The kindness showing in Fiore’s eyes for the first time must be an illusion created by my relief.
Fiore opened his mouth.
“Let’s say the errand was completed successfully.”
Fiore, who had been rustling through the envelope, placed his hand on Alice’s head.
The slight sting of her hair getting pressed down snapped her emotions back into place—inside and out. Right back to the noisy, chaotic state they always belonged in.
“Ouch! What are you doing?”
“Found something nice while running errands.”
“Whatever it is, take it off!”
“Take it off yourself. You have thicker hair than I thought, so it shouldn’t be too damaging.”
“Hey!”
Frantically feeling her head, Alice almost screamed when she touched something like spider legs. But what came down in her hand was…
“…A comb?”
“It’s a lady’s hand axe. For chopping down the hands of unwanted men.”
“It’s clearly a comb. A wooden one at that.”
“I thought you were asking because you didn’t know, but you recognize it? Did you want me to say it directly?”
“Hah… No, that’s fine!”
Even after knowing the answer, Alice fiddled with the comb in her hand, feeling unreal.
It was a decorative comb with delicate lattice patterns carved where the teeth met the body – not flashy, but intricate. The teeth were thick enough that it could serve its original purpose.
The black, glossy surface felt pleasant
.
“Seems you like it. Good.”
“Ah.”
Alice unconsciously removed her fingers that had been caressing the comb. Then belatedly, she tensed her slightly relaxed facial muscles.
“Fiore. Why did you suddenly give me this?”
“I bought it thinking it would suit your hair. The lattice pattern looks like a bird’s nest, doesn’t it?”
“What?”
“Oh, is it upside down? Well, let’s say it’s like a sparrow during molting season.”
“That explains nothing!”
“I was worried about giving something like this to a woman with a lover, but now I can give it without worry since that guy won’t grab my collar. Just take it. I’m not someone who lives thinking as complexly as you do.”
“…”
No matter how much she asked, she wasn’t getting a straight answer. Damn it, she knew. Not everyone carried the answers she wanted.
And Alice threw out her own answer that she absolutely had to convey.
“I should have expressed my gratitude first!”
“Hm? What gratitude?”
“You’ve been helping me all along! Carrying water, helping with Arno. And the wallet incident… You did that deliberately to save me, right?”
“You’re seeing it too positively.”
“Let me thank you, even if it’s late. Thank you. If there’s any way I can express my gratitude, just tell me.”
“It’s nothing…”
Like a prankster flustered by praise for the first time, Fiore showed uncharacteristic awkwardness.
Just as she thought that sight was somewhat cute.
“What I learned today is enough.”
“What?”
“I was curious about what kind of person you are. Especially about whatever it is that makes you scrunch up your face every time you look at your mentor.”
Fiore’s hand touched Alice’s brow. The careful touch, barely felt, brushed her eyebrow slightly before withdrawing.
He smiled.
Such a bright smile that even his abnormal, impossibly sharp teeth seemed pleasant.
“You had every reason to scrunch your face like that. Anytime you feel like cursing him out, call me. I’ll add curses you’ve never heard before.”
“…”
“Well then, I’ll deliver these items directly to the clinic. Let the person who assigned the task check them himself.”
Fiore turned around. Even with the heavy bags, he moved away instantly with light steps as if skipping. Toward the clinic.
Alice opened her mouth to say, Wait, Fiore, I’ll go with you… but swallowed the words.
‘Never mind. He’s carrying bags, so it’s better for him to go quickly alone.’
That’s the rational reason why she let Fiore go ahead. Really.
Trying to regain her cool thoughts, Alice also headed toward the clinic. But unlike her mind, her steps were slightly unsteady. As if she were wearing helium balloons instead of shoes.
‘He was curious about what kind of person I am?’
Many people had been curious about Alice before.
But what they wanted was to observe her actions, achievements, failures, peculiarities. To record, gossip about, and mock them.
But what Fiore wanted was…
To know how the current Alice came to be.
‘I… was someone worth knowing to someone.’
Somehow her feet and knees felt tingly. Her steps wouldn’t stop.
But afraid of running into Fiore at the clinic if she walked too fast, and not knowing what expression to make then, Alice deliberately wandered the forest path.
When she thought enough time had passed after the delivery, Alice returned to the clinic.
The clinic’s characteristic medicine smell made her realize belatedly that with Fiore’s senses, he probably knew she had been circling around, but this embarrassing realization was instantly forgotten before an unexpected visitor.
“Oh, Arno? Professor, you came down too?”
“I called Arno here.”
With his brow furrowed even deeper than usual, Arno said.
“Hurry and sit down. You’ve gotta hear this madness for yourself.”
“Professor, what’s going on?”
Nathan spoke calmly.
I finished making the antidote for the herbal toxin, so now you can go to the sea without any worries.”
