Chapter 19
“What I want isn’t your background, but you yourself.”
“What… do you mean?”
“Just what I said?”
“Ugh. Your Highness. You know you haven’t given a clear answer to any of my questions.”
“Have I not?”
Despite saying this, Killian avoided answering by tilting his head sideways.
“Well, regardless of my answers, isn’t this situation not bad for you either?”
Like a beast unable to forget the taste it had sampled.
Today, as yesterday, Killian couldn’t pass by Letricia’s fluttering hair without wrapping it around his fingers.
The sensation of it being precariously caught in his grip, as if about to slip away, was quite satisfying.
“Since your engagement with Lord Godwin is broken, you’d end up in a convent anyway. The north would be better than such a dreary place, wouldn’t it?”
If he applied force now, would it crumble like crushed flower petals?
Blue veins rose on the back of Killian’s hand as he was seized by a strange impulse.
“Since I have no intention of annulling this marriage anyway, instead of wasting energy on futile things, why don’t you try using me instead?”
“Use you?”
“Yes. I’ll be quite useful. I’m more capable than I look.”
Having somehow suppressed his instincts, Killian released Letricia’s hair.
“Try making good use of me. Who knows? You might find a way to cure your illness through me.”
After finishing his words, Killian straightened up from where he had been leaning against the desk.
About to remove his shirt before heading to the bathroom, he loosely curved one corner of his mouth.
Letricia was staring at him intently, having missed the moment to avert her eyes, apparently at a loss for words from disbelief.
“Hmm.”
Killian’s calloused hand kneaded the back of his neck.
“Your help with the shirt buttons was enough. Even though we’re married now, there’s no need to help beyond that.”
“…! I-I wasn’t planning to help that far, Your Highness!”
At this, Letricia’s face turned bright red and she whirled around. She couldn’t bear to stay in this room any longer.
Yelling, getting irritated – those were the kinds of conversations Letricia was used to, so she had no idea how to deal with Killian.
Of course, Petrick had spoken to her kindly in his way, but this felt entirely different.
He seemed languid yet somehow fierce, fierce yet relaxed.
Killian was like the waves of a distant sea – impossible to predict.
“Ah, and something’s been bothering me.”
Killian followed Letricia as she headed toward the door like she was escaping, and placed his hand on the doorknob instead of her.
“How about changing that title ‘Your Highness’? We’re married after all, wouldn’t my name be better than ‘Your Highness’?”
Creeak.
Killian turned the doorknob smoothly and stepped aside, allowing Letricia to pass.
“Next time we meet, please call me Killian.”
* * *
After returning to Count Esta’s mansion from the townhouse, Letricia tried several more times to annul the marriage, but all attempts were in vain.
Finally, Letricia gave up first, exhausted, deciding to let things be.
After that, their marriage proceeded rapidly.
Since they had already received the Emperor’s recognition.
All that needed to be done was packing Letricia’s belongings and getting Count Esta’s consent for the marriage.
But even that didn’t require much effort.
Letricia had almost nothing to pack.
And as a mere count couldn’t go against a grand duke’s wishes, the marriage consent was more like a notification than actual approval.
Moreover, since Count Esta was held up elsewhere due to schedule conflicts, even that notification was done in writing.
Thus, in less than a week, preparations for Letricia’s departure to the north were almost complete.
“It feels rather empty.”
Sitting alone in her room at the count’s mansion, Letricia looked around.
A spacious room with only a bed, dresser, and desk for furniture.
She wondered if it was really this easy to leave this lonely room that Count Esta had given her as minimal consideration.
“So, this is how it ends.”
Feeling a bitter taste on her tongue, Letricia slowly collapsed onto her desk.
“My lady. Why are you like that again?”
Allen, entering the room with an armful of boxes, discovered Letricia in this state and looked worried.
“You seem lost in thought lately. Do you have something troubling you?”
“Troubled? Not really.”
Letricia smiled softly at Allen’s warm voice.
“By the way, you came again today?”
“Yes! This time it’s dresses that are trending in the capital! My, His Highness seems so caring, unlike the rumors!”
Allen carefully set down the boxes she had carried in with effort.
Her upturned nose was flushed, suggesting she was quite excited.
Unlike Allen, Letricia pressed her temples as she surveyed the mountain of gift boxes piled in one corner of the room.
“Allen. I didn’t know my room was this small.”
Since then, Killian had been sending new gifts every day.
The trouble started when she answered that she didn’t want anything when asked what she wanted if she didn’t like the painting supplies.
Now Letricia’s own belongings were barely visible, buried under Killian’s gifts.
“To form a connection with someone who cherishes you so much – it’s really wonderful.”
Not understanding Letricia’s complicated feelings, Allen’s eyes welled up with tears of joy.
“There won’t be a happier bride than our lady! You’ll smile much more from now on, my lady.”
“…”
Letricia watched Allen dabbing tears with her sleeve.
‘From now on.’ At those words promising a hopeful future, Killian’s words suddenly came to mind.
“Use me freely as you wish. Who knows? I might be able to help cure your illness.”
‘Cure the illness…’
Her rose quartz-like clear eyes wandered through empty space.
Is that possible? She only had a year left at most,
Could this illness, whose cause wasn’t even known, be cured in such a short time?
‘There’s no particular need for that…’
Letricia, who had been resting her chin skeptically, went to the bed and buried herself in it.
Honestly, this isn’t bad as it is.
Rather, she felt like she could finally breathe a little.
She had never had a peaceful day, always feeling guilty about surviving instead of the countess. She had nightmares every time she slept, and the nightmares continued even when she woke.
Letricia was a sinner in every moment of time.
That’s why she naturally accepted the resentment from Isis and Count Esta.
And just when she had become too exhausted to endure anymore after accepting and accepting, the terminal diagnosis came.
At first, she felt wronged and afraid of death, but those feelings were only momentary.
Afterward, she rather felt relieved thinking, ah, now I can finally rest. It felt like the fatigue that had filled her entire body was finally starting to fade.
But to say she might be able to cure the illness…
The thought of having to continue living without rest already made her feel suffocated.
“I don’t want that. I just… want to rest now.”
Mumbling while pressing her delicate face into the white pillow, Letricia stretched out her fingers.
Her index finger poked at the paint she had received at the townhouse, which was among Killian’s pile of gifts that had invaded up to beside her bed.
“If not that, tell me if there’s anything else you want.”
“Something else I want…”
Moving her hand listlessly with lifeless eyes, Letricia picked up one yellow paint tube.
It was the same color as the flower petals drawn on Killian’s Braille notebook cover.
Rolling over with it, Letricia squeezed some paint onto her finger.
“The color is pretty.”
The paint beading on her finger looked like flower buds.
“Should I… try painting? I’d wanted to learn properly at least once.”
“My lady, do you like painting?”
Allen, who had been tidying up beside the bed, perked up her ears at Letricia’s mumbling.
“I had no idea! You’ve only ever read books at the mansion and never painted!”
“Hm? I wouldn’t say I like it.”
Allen danced in place, delighted that Letricia had shown interest in something for the first time.
“Just, when I was young, I only doodled with pencil on paper a few times.”
Uncomfortable with Allen’s expectant gaze, Letricia turned slightly.
Despite Letricia’s response, Allen continued cleaning while persistently making a fuss.
Seeing the cold wind entering the room, she must be opening the windows.
“Still! The thought of you painting…! It would suit you so well- Oh? My lady! He’s here, he’s here!”
“Hm? What’s here?”
Letricia, who had been idly playing with the paint while waiting for Allen to calm down, lifted her disheveled head.
Just as Allen’s excited voice had seemed unsettling.
Sure enough, Allen ran to the bed and lifted up the sprawled Letricia.
“The Grand Duke! He seems to have come to see you!”
“His Highness has come? There was no mention of him visiting today?”
“Come now, don’t just lie there, get up quickly! You need to change clothes and get ready!”
“…That won’t be necessary.”
Letricia recalled those icy blue eyes that seemed fundamentally disinterested in worldly matters.
“He probably won’t care what I’m wearing anyway? Just make me look moderately presentable, Allen.”
“What? How could His Highness be like that!”
But Allen, who firmly believed the rumor spread throughout society that ‘Grand Duke Heberus fell in love with Lady Esta at first sight and proposed,’ shook her head vigorously.
Having succeeded in getting Letricia out of bed, Allen proudly brought out the dress Killian had sent today.
“My lady, if you wear this, His Highness will surely be delighted! And for your hair, we’ll use the hairpin that came the day before…”
However, the clear sound of knocking came before Allen could properly make her grooming plans.
“My lady, Grand Duke Heberus has arrived.”
