Chapter 80

Chapter 80. Terminal Diagnosis (5)

“Mmng… seriously, are we really doing this today? I’m… kinda tired, hff…”

“Tired? How so?”

“Ah… just… not really in the mood, I guess? Could you—your mouth, just—ah!”

Juyul, ignoring her words, continued trailing downward, leaving faint marks on her pale skin. Then he raised his head.

Settled naturally between her spread legs, he rubbed his face against her slender thigh and murmured softly.

“You don’t even want me to go down on you? I won’t put it in or anything.”

“Of course not! You keep going until my legs give out every single time—how is that okay…”

Sodam squirmed and tried to push Juyul away with her foot against his shoulder, making a sound of protest. He backed off—at least, it looked like he did.

But before long, he was climbing right back up, wrapping his arms around her waist. Nuzzling against her collarbone, slightly visible through the edge of her pajama top, he spoke in a coaxing tone.

“Then what about just rubbing over your clothes? You don’t have to do anything—just lie back. I’ll take care of it. Okay?”

“Uuugh…”

“No kissing either. Just this. That’s it.”

As her gaze dropped, she was met with a deep pair of blue eyes, darker than usual, filling her vision. In that moment, the hesitation that had been weighing on her began to tilt, little by little. She had been avoiding Juyul a lot lately, and she did feel a bit guilty. If they avoided direct contact between mucous membranes, the contamination and Guiding exchange would be minimal—so it probably wouldn’t affect her health, right?

“Th-then just once… okay?”

“Well… if you want, we could go even further.”

“No thank you!”

At Juyul’s sly reply, Sodam burst out laughing and shook her head firmly. Up to that point, she truly believed she was making a rational decision. She hadn’t yet realized how, from the very first time he comforted her after her hospital visit, she had slowly begun to lean on him—without even noticing.

If Sodam had truly been worried about her physical condition, she could have simply refused—without guilt, without hesitation. But the reason she accepted Juyul’s advances, even going so far as to make excuses for it, came down to one thing: she wanted him. She wanted Juyul, who could fill the hollow space inside her that had quietly formed as they grew distant.

With her smile still lingering, Juyul leaned down as if spellbound, stopping when the tips of their noses brushed. Meeting her warm brown eyes, he asked in a deeper voice,

“So… kissing other places besides your lips—also not allowed?”

“…Like where, exactly?”

“Here, or here.”

In response, Juyul kissed just beside her lips, then on her rounded chin. When Sodam didn’t make any move to stop him, he began to slowly move downward. Past the nape of her neck, down her collarbone—he pressed his lips slowly, deliberately, against the slope of her upper chest and murmured,

“…Up to here.”

“Really, just up to there?”

“If you let me, the lower the better.”

The desire coating his words made Sodam’s face flush. Slowly closing and opening her eyes, lost in thought, she reached out and took Juyul’s hand, guiding it down to her lower abdomen.

Just a little lower, just the length of a finger, and he’d reach the place where the line would begin to break.

But she stopped his hand right there and whispered,

“Up to here is fine. Whether you touch or kiss…”

“Is that permission? Or a request?”

“…Let’s say it’s somewhere in between.”

Even this much was Sodam’s way of being as forward as she possibly could. Knowing that, Juyul kept his smile and moved his mouth more eagerly. He pressed quick kisses across her chest, then trailed down to lick her flat stomach with his tongue.

As his hand softly kneaded her chest, he pinched her now stiffened n*pples and pressed down, almost grinding into them. Sodam’s head tilted slightly in response. The sharp pl*asure that rose from her chest tickled between her legs. More precisely, it was the inner part of the crease hidden there—a place that had grown deeply accustomed to Juyul’s touch—that now itched with anticipation.

She tried her best to hide her urge to have something firm scratch at that spot, forcing herself to speak casually as she gave a little nod in his direction.

“You said you wanted to rub it, right? If you’re gonna do it, hurry up already…”

“I’m the one who wants to enjoy this a bit longer. Isn’t it you who actually wants this, not me?”

As his slow hand moved over her stomach—rising and falling with her quickened breath—Sodam bit down on her lower lip, frustrated. The gentle fingers that reached up to free her lip from between her teeth were maddeningly tender.

Raising one eyebrow, she lifted her foot and rubbed lightly against Juyul’s p*nis. Even that was enough to make it slowly harden beneath her arch. She dragged her sole along the sh*ft with deliberate pressure, making him exhale a rough breath.

“Ha. Who was it that said they weren’t in the mood again?”

“And who said they’d just rub it?”

“…You’ve got a comeback for everything.”

Accepting her challenge without hesitation, Juyul pulled out his now fully hard p*nis, and Sodam instinctively swallowed. Each time he pressed it against the inside of her parted thigh, the thick vein running up the sh*ft visibly pulsed.

But that wasn’t enough for him. Grabbing both of her ankles, he placed them on his left shoulder, then tightly pulled her thighs together.

Through the squeezed gap of her pressed thighs, she could feel the hardness of his sh*ft. Before she could even react, Juyul thrust between them with a heavy push. The impact made Sodam’s body jolt hard before she could even clutch at the bedsheets.

The way he thrust upward under her b*ttocks and thighs—just like during s*x—and rubbed his p*nis between the pressed gap made Sodam’s body heat up without meaning to. The thick head of his sh*ft kept tapping irregularly against her cl*toris, leaving her increasingly agitated. Her body started moving on its own, driven by instinct chasing pl*asure, and Juyul’s mouth twisted with restraint.

“Don’t move. You’re making me really want to f*ck you.”

“Mm. O-okay, I get it, just—hurry, just…”

Whether he put it in or didn’t, she wished he would just make up his mind. This teasing—riding the line between stimulation and frustration—was new to her, and unlike s*x, all she could do was hope it would end soon. If it kept going, she might be the one to pull him in first. Clenching the sheets and blankets as if to hold herself together, Sodam’s fists turned pale.

Juyul kept moving his hips, grinding between her thighs until they were burning hot from friction. Eventually, he grit his teeth hard.

When he finally cl*maxed, what was left was the mess of s*men staining their clothes and Sodam, panting heavily. As Juyul caught his breath and took in the sight of her, he spoke calmly.

“You’re gonna need a change of clothes.”

“You go get them. I’m not moving an inch.”

“As you should.”

He bent down and pressed his lips firmly over Sodam’s, then obediently moved as she asked. Taking off the pajama top with all the buttons undone and wiping her body down was easy enough.

But when he pulled down the wrinkled pants, he had to search for a god he had never believed in just to suppress the desire raging inside him.

Juyul, barely regaining his composure, smoothed down his neatly arched brow and let out a sigh.

“…I’m just cleaning you. I’m not going to do anything else.”

“Huh? What are you—hff!”

As he carefully pulled down her underwear, a trail of clear fl*id stretched between the damp fabric and her glistening folds. Without hesitation, he severed the string of moisture and used the driest touch he could manage to wipe her thighs and the area around her v*lva. Her face was flushed bright red, and he didn’t dare look up, afraid he might lose control. He just kept moving, mechanically.

Every time the clean white towel passed over her skin and made her flinch, he could feel his throat growing dry.

Once he finished cleaning her up completely, Juyul fled the room and had to stand under an ice-cold shower until the entire bathroom was practically flooded.

* * *

There was only one reason Juyul found himself retracing this memory now: the faint, tiny marks he had quietly seen while wiping her thighs.

At first, he thought it might’ve been a mole, or maybe a heat rash. But the small, red dots scattered in that same area—more than one, clustered together—were anything but ordinary.

He sifted through everything he knew, combing his memory and common sense, until one likely explanation surfaced.

“…Guiding injection.”

The same kind his mother had regularly received during the last few years before she passed.

Most of the cases he’d seen involved Espers taking on dozens of major subjugation missions, and the injections were always administered to the inside of the arm. That’s why he hadn’t thought to associate it with Sodam. Watching her run weekly errands to the pharmacy, claiming to be picking up iron supplements or vitamins, he had simply focused on preparing traditional remedies and health foods to support her body.

Now, that version of himself felt utterly pathetic.

If only—just once—he had looked inside the medicine bag she kept hidden. If he had, even by mistake, he might’ve realized what was going on. The thought alone made his hands curl into fists.

“She was planning to leave from the beginning.”

A Guide who only performed light, once-a-day Guiding through kisses would not be prescribed those injections unless her condition was serious.

Before running away, Sodam should have told Juyul everything—or at the very least, given him some kind of warning.

If she had, then maybe… just maybe… the last remaining thread of reason he’d been clinging to wouldn’t have snapped completely.