Chapter 76
Chapter 76. Terminal Diagnosis (1)
In any case, Juyul must have sensed that something felt off at the time, because he stopped the Guiding with just a kiss.
Still, perhaps because things had already built up, her nosebleeds wouldn’t stop every morning. She kept it a secret, thinking that if she said anything, she’d end up locked in the ICU instead of at Juyul’s house. But even she knew this wasn’t normal.
“The hairpin helps, kind of, but… it’s not like it heals anything.”
If she had to compare it, it was like drinking coffee or an energy drink on a tired day to borrow strength from the next day.
Her menstrual cycle, already irregular, was now completely erratic. Sometimes it came once every two months, sometimes twice in a single month. But now, it had already been three months since her last period. The anxiety it brought was beyond words.
There was a bigger problem. The gradually brightening color of her hair was clearly a sign that something was seriously wrong with her health.
For now, it wasn’t noticeable enough for Juyul to pick up on, but if it got any lighter, he was bound to notice.
Sodam took a deep breath and exhaled with a sigh, mumbling with lifeless eyes.
“I should go to the hospital. If I go to the Association, it’ll get back to Baek Juyul for sure, so that’s out. There should be a hospital for Guides around here.”
The Sodam who used to avoid hospitals to save money on medical bills no longer existed. The steadily growing balance in her bank account was the source of her confidence.
There was only one reason she could move so quickly: she knew that Juyul, who had gone out on a subjugation mission, wouldn’t return until evening.
Considering the time needed for various tests, she had to leave now if she wanted to make it back before him. The sight of her overstuffed wardrobe was starting to wear on her, but since it wasn’t her money that bought it all, she gratefully bundled herself up. She even called a Guide-only taxi, fully embracing her indulgence, and arrived at a hospital so massive it could slap a major general hospital in the face.
It seemed trustworthy, with an internal medicine department for Guides as the first stop, and more specialized departments for serious conditions. She was skimming through a promotional pamphlet when her number was called at reception.
“Patient 188, please proceed to Consultation Room 2!”
When she entered the exam room as instructed, a doctor who looked like he had plenty of experience was clicking a mouse and waiting for her. Feeling oddly intimidated, Sodam swallowed hard and sat down cautiously. The nurse assistant who came in with her stood nearby with a friendly smile.
Feeling like there was no escape, she fidgeted with her hands for no reason, and the doctor was the first to speak.
“What brings you in today?”
“Ah, well… I’ve been feeling a bit unwell lately.”
“Can you be more specific?”
“Um… I’ve been getting a lot of nosebleeds, like, every other day. And… uh, I’m not sure why, but my hair seems to be losing color, and I feel kind of weak?”
“…Just a moment.”
As Sodam hesitantly explained, the doctor’s expression gradually hardened. The hand that had been holding the mouse slowly moved toward her face.
“Could I take a look at your face for a moment?”
“Ah, yes.”
“I’ll check your eyes as well. Now, open your mouth, please? I’m going to press your tongue down with this. It might make you gag a little, but it’ll be quick.”
The doctor examined her thoroughly, tilting her head in various directions, then typed something before speaking in a serious tone.
“May I ask what your rank is?”
“Ah, I’m F-class.”
“And… your Esper? If you have a fixed partner, just tell me that name. If not, list whoever comes to mind.”
“Uhm.”
Moments like this made rank feel incredibly inconvenient. Even without mentioning the name Baek Juyul, his identity would be obvious. As Sodam hesitated, the doctor, perhaps thinking she was afraid of being judged for having multiple Esper partners, shifted to a more professional tone.
“Patient Maeng Sodam, this information is absolutely necessary for your diagnosis. Your personal details will never be leaked, and there’s no reason for judgment. We need to know this to understand exactly what’s happening in your body.”
“You promise it won’t be leaked?”
“Of course. Even if you were a criminal, this information wouldn’t leave this room.”
At the doctor’s firm assurance, Sodam let out a small sigh and glanced up at the ceiling as she whispered.
“SSS-class.”
“…Pardon?”
“SSS-class. The Esper I Guide.”
“Ah… yes, sorry, what?”
It had already become common knowledge among civilians that the personal Guide of Baek Juyul was an F-class. The Guide who leaked that fact to the media had immediately disappeared, and Sodam heard that they were soon captured by the Association. What happened to them afterward, she didn’t know—and had no desire to find out.
The doctor, stunned by Sodam’s bombshell, flapped his mouth open and closed a few times before adjusting his crooked glasses with a cough. He quickly tried to compose himself, but the flush of his cheeks and the sweat trickling down betrayed him.
“Ahem, I see.”
“I figured the huge rank gap might be the reason, but… it’s not like I do intense Guiding that often. I started wondering if it might be something else entirely.”
“Well… um, let’s start with an MRI and CT scan. When was the last time you ate?”
“Yesterday morning. My stomach’s been upset, so I’ve only had water.”
“Hmm. Then let’s run a blood test too. No need to worry too much. Sometimes when people overextend during Guiding, they report symptoms like nosebleeds and weakness—just like you.”
As the doctor gestured lightly with his chin, the nurse assistant promptly walked out to prepare.
Even in the flurry of movement, one line stuck in Sodam’s mind: she wasn’t the only Guide facing this kind of situation.
“So… this isn’t some super rare condition, right?”
“Well, about 20% of Guide-Espers with more than a two-rank difference experience symptoms like these. However, in your case…”
“The difference is just way too big. Got it.”
Even a two-rank difference caused issues, and the gap between Sodam and Juyul was far beyond that. As Sodam let out a deep sigh and stood up, a sudden wave of dizziness hit her. It was a symptom she had occasionally experienced even before the possession, during the time when she wasn’t doing any Guiding. The problem now was that it had been happening far too frequently.
When she instinctively staggered and grabbed the desk for support, the doctor—still clicking away at the chart with his mouse—asked her cautiously.
“By any chance, are your menstrual cycles… well, are they regular?”
“Ah, no. It’s been three months now. I keep thinking it might come next month, but…”
“I see. For now, I’m thinking of prescribing some iron supplements and a Guiding injection. Have you ever used a Guiding injection before?”
“Not really… Is it only available as an injection?”
“There is a pill form, but the injection works faster. It might sting a little, but it comes in an epipen shape, so it shouldn’t be hard to use.”
The doctor, who had been explaining gently, rummaged through one side of his desk and pulled out something shaped like a pen. Judging by the label “GUI-pen” printed on it, it was likely the Guiding injection he was going to prescribe her. Pressing the pen-like device with his fingertip to demonstrate how the needle would pop out, he showed her a few times, then said:
“You just place it like this—perpendicularly—on the inner thigh or the upper arm near the armpit, press firmly once, and hold it there for about ten seconds. Since Guides are often busy, it was modified for ease of self-administration.”
“I… I see.”
“Since this is a drug that essentially creates a Guiding effect without the actual act, it can put a lot of strain on your body. If misused, it could even lead to addiction, so please make sure to follow the proper instructions. Ideally, no more than once a month. At the very least—really at the absolute minimum—no more than once a week.”
Hearing such frightening words, all she could do was nod as she stepped outside. The nurse assistant, who had been waiting, immediately led her away. Dragged around here and there, she eventually finished all the tests and returned to the consultation room, where the doctor now wore a much more serious expression.
He quickly seated her and even sent the nurse assistant out of the room. Then, turning the monitor toward her, he showed images of her bones and internal organs, calling out to her in a voice weighed down with gravity.
“Miss Maeng.”
“…Yes?”
“Have you thought about retirement… or switching jobs?”
It was something she’d always considered in her mind, but had pushed aside because reality wouldn’t allow it. Hearing those words come out of the doctor’s mouth felt terrifying. His expression looked even more devastated than hers, and Sodam could only sit frozen in place.
Telling someone to quit their job isn’t something that can be said lightly unless there’s a serious issue with their health.
As she swallowed her words, unable to reply, the doctor rubbed his forehead and continued.
“At this rate, you may soon find it difficult to walk. I wouldn’t be surprised if you showed up in a wheelchair at your next appointment.”
“…Are you telling me I’m terminally ill right now?”
