Chapter 29
We returned to the greenhouse—neither too early nor too late.
It was time for Marchioness Federica’s afternoon nap, and the gathering came to an end.
“There’s been an issue with my carriage. Cecilia, would you mind if I rode with you?”
Josephine asked. Naturally, I didn’t refuse.
“Next time, come to my tea party, Lady Cecilia.”
Ellen said as she stood in line with the other carriages. She didn’t so much as glance at Ricardo before she left.
“I hope we’ll meet again, Countess Linton.”
Doria’s farewell was more formal than Ellen’s. Now that we were outside the Marchioness’s presence, each woman’s personality began to show more clearly.
“Lord Ricardo.”
“Lady Doria.”
Doria gave him a brief nod.
The two exchanged polite but distant farewells. They were cold but respectful—keeping invisible boundaries firmly in place.
“Safe travels, Countess Linton.”
Ricardo stepped ahead of Justin, who was rushing forward, and opened the carriage door for me.
Robbed of his task, Justin’s steps faltered slightly.
Sir Juan was already standing by the carriage, watching this with faint irritation. Justin, his assigned aide, was always a step too slow.
It was just a guess—but maybe the nanny’s belief that “Cecilia and we are family” had also worked on Justin.
Josephine looked like she couldn’t decide whether to glare at Ricardo or at Justin.
“Please, go ahead, Josephine.”
At this point, moral superiority was the only card I had left in my battle against Edgar.
I wanted Ricardo’s gesture to appear as though it was made for Josephine’s sake, not mine.
“Lady Josephine, please, after you.”
Whether he picked up on my intention—or that was his intention all along—I couldn’t say, but Ricardo promptly redirected his offer.
Josephine scoffed and climbed into the carriage.
Once she was seated, Ricardo let go of the door.
Justin, still walking slowly, arrived just in time to take over as though the baton had been passed.
“My lady.”
I ignored him and took a seat beside Josephine.
“Sarah, we have a guest. Go sit in the coachman’s seat.”
I spoke to Sarah, who had placed her feet up on the footrest. As usual, she looked like she was about to cry.
She always made that face when she didn’t want to follow an order—stalling for time with her silent protests.
If Josephine hadn’t sharply snapped,
“Didn’t you hear what your lady said?”
—Sarah would’ve kept resisting. But now realizing who our guest was, she finally obeyed and moved to the front seat.
“I’m a little clumsy. Sorry for showing you such an embarrassing side,” I said to Josephine.
The carriage began to move.
Josephine, silent until now, let out a long sigh.
“After your speech at the dinner party, I thought you were someone with more spine.”
Spine. Of all words, that one fit me the least.
I’d always bent with the wind, given in when uprooted. I hadn’t even been aware of how I died before I was dropped into this new life.
And it didn’t take me long to accept it either. That, I told myself bitterly, was only possible because I didn’t really have a self to begin with.
“I thought your visit to Isabel’s tea party was a calculated move, part of a plan you were trying to carry out.”
I was surprised. Maybe there’s truth to the saying that experience sharpens intuition. Josephine had seen straight through me.
“That’s… true. I’m sorry. You were kind to me and I—”
“No,” she cut me off. “I gave you that invitation because I wanted to see if you were someone who knew how to use an opportunity.”
Her voice was calm. I was the one squirming.
I sat there like a job applicant in front of an interviewer—so nervous I couldn’t even think to wet my dry lips.
“Not everyone thinks well of Count Linton.”
Josephine, like a considerate interviewer, gave me room to breathe again.
“You mean…”
“Is there a woman in the world who hasn’t been cheated on?”
A trace of pain flickered across Josephine’s face—pain that hadn’t been forgotten.
“Not everyone is so forgiving of infidelity.”
I was embarrassed by how narrow my own view had been. If there’s always a majority, there will always be a minority too.
Just because some were willing to excuse Edgar’s affair as nothing, or accept it quietly, didn’t mean everyone would.
“Isabel was lucky,” Josephine continued. “She lost the Marchioness during the best of times. She gets to grow old, nourished by happy memories.”
She didn’t speak with bitterness or envy.
“Isabel is kind and empathetic. Use that to your advantage, Cecilia.”
But even then, I couldn’t bring myself to share my true intentions.
Because no matter how kind Josephine seemed… I still didn’t trust her completely.
Like with Ricardo, I couldn’t fully understand why Josephine was doing so much for me.
“Use everything you can. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.”
She wasn’t just talking about Marchioness Federica.
“Lord Ricardo only helps me because he pities me, Josephine.”
“Whatever the reason, Cecilia. I said whatever, remember?”
That felt too extreme. Was she really suggesting I get revenge on my unfaithful husband by doing the same?
“Thank you for the advice, Josephine… but I don’t think I could go that far.”
Josephine burst out laughing.
“Cecilia, I’m not saying to do the same thing. I’m saying that when someone offers kindness—take it. That’s already useful enough.”
Sarah had once said the Countess of Allegro was strict with both herself and others—unforgiving toward anyone who strayed from the proper path.
But the Josephine sitting beside me now didn’t match that image at all.
“Are you confused?”
“Honestly… yes, Josephine. I thought if I wanted to break away from Edgar, I had to become someone without a single flaw…”
“Do you really think flawless people exist?”
Probably not. Still, if I was going to stand against someone like Edgar—someone admired by so many—I felt like I had to at least reach his level.
“Count Linton has flaws too. He’s just good at hiding them,” Josephine said, her tone dripping with sarcasm.
“Just like my husband.”
“The Count of Allegro?”
Josephine rarely mentioned him. From what I’d heard, he avoided social events and lived a reclusive life inside the estate.
“Once I finally figured out his tricks and got the upper hand, he decided to never step foot outside the house again.”
She smiled, but it only lasted a moment before it faded.
“So this is me… cheering you on. From one woman who knows the pain, to another.”
Josephine was always sincere. Even after all this time, I could still feel that her pain had never truly healed.
“If you endure it, Cecilia, your future might end up like mine. But if you find the courage to go one step further, you might have a better life than I ever did.”
Courage. There it was again—another word that didn’t suit me.
I hadn’t wanted a messy fight. Gaining Marchioness Federica’s favor was part of a plan—a strategy. I believed that if a powerful noblewoman like her took my side, Edgar would be forced to retreat.
The Edgar I knew cared more about reputation than anything else.
“Think about it,”
Josephine said.
I hadn’t even noticed the carriage slowing down. Only when Justin opened the door did I realize we’d arrived at the Allegro estate.
“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to keep you so long—”
“Don’t worry about small things. I’ll see you next month—there’s a banquet to launch the new ship.”
After sending her off, I quickly closed the door behind her—before Sarah could try to get in.
“My lady!”
As expected, Sarah called out in protest.
“It won’t take long. Don’t drag this out just because we’re moving seats. Let’s go.”
The coachman obeyed without a word. Sarah, who’d half-risen to follow, stumbled back and landed on her rear.
“Ouch!”
I sat in silence, sorting through my thoughts.
Josephine had said a lot. But what stuck with me was her past.
That was the key to understanding why she wanted to help me.
She wanted to live vicariously through me. And I wondered—how far should I go along with that?
She had told me to use Ricardo too. But I decided to put that on hold. He was too risky.
Yes, he was the perfect way to provoke Edgar—but in doing so, I’d stir up others too. That would only bring trouble.
I believed Josephine had once truly loved the Count of Allegro.
Even if that love had long since faded, the pain left behind had turned to resentment.
But I had never loved Edgar. I had no reason to seek emotional revenge.
What mattered now was giving Josephine a measure of satisfaction—without bringing harm to myself. That was the path I needed to take.
This time, I didn’t miss the carriage slowing down. I got ready to step out.
I ignored Justin, whose expression said he had too much to say, and instead called out to Sir Juan.
“My lady.”
Sir Juan approached, already looking like he knew what was coming.
“I may not have the right to comment on your social life, Sir Juan. But I do believe I have the right to warn you not to gossip about your employer’s private affairs.”
“It was my mistake, my lady.”
“Yes, it was.”
He had been hired by Edgar—I couldn’t dismiss him myself. And beyond that, if I wanted to trust the nanny’s loyalty, I needed to keep Sir Juan around.
“I’ll let it go this once.”
Sir Juan bowed deeply. I was startled.
Knights weren’t considered low-ranking. They weren’t equals to nobles, of course, but I’d heard that proud knights didn’t tolerate being disrespected.
“Thank you, my lady. I’ll be more careful from now on.”
“Good. That’s all I ask.”
He looked visibly relieved.
Edgar, who cared more than anything about appearances, had likely hired someone with real skill. Sir Juan may not have been the best knight in the world, but he was certainly competent.
I doubted he’d have trouble finding another employer if things didn’t work out here.
And yet—why did he look so anxious, as if he couldn’t afford to lose this position?
The question faded as I caught sight of the nanny, whispering something to Justin as they stood nearby.
They both believed we were family.
One way or another, I would have to deal with that.
