Chapter 5

The heir of Blanchet and a lowborn girl should never be allowed to breathe the same air, let alone share the same space.

That’s what my mother—Elise de Blanchet—used to say back when she lived in the capital.

She gave up the Esteban name to become the mistress of House Blanchet. In public, she always carried herself with grace and dignity.

But beneath that polished exterior, there was always something darker.

Whenever the topic of commoner women came up, she would react like she was about to have a fit.

She’d call them shameless, ignorant girls who didn’t know their place.

And when it came to their so-called Cinderella stories, she would get especially worked up.

To her, there was only one reason people like that tried to cling to nobles in the first place—and it wasn’t love.

To be fair, she wasn’t entirely wrong.

Most of the beautiful young women lingering around old noblemen were from lower classes. Their intentions were usually very clear.

That’s why someone like me should never even talk to a girl like her.

But I’m not the heir anymore. I’m just a dying patient.

Here, far from the capital, in a quiet place like Alphonse, I can take off the heavy armor that is the Blanchet name.

Soon enough, the name Blanchet will die with me anyway.

So why shouldn’t I indulge myself in something small and meaningless?

Would it make my final days more bearable to toy with her desperation, to hold it tightly in my hand and twist it however I please?

It’s a twisted, pathetic thought. But it comes to mind all the same.

She said it herself—she came here for money.

Maybe, just once, I want someone to cry when I die.

And maybe I wouldn’t mind if she was that person.

If she poured all that desperate love she has for her sick mother into mourning me instead—screaming, sobbing, tearing at the world—wouldn’t that be something worth remembering?

If her trembling hands, the same ones that shook when she faced me, carried my memory forever… maybe that would be enough.

Yes, I know it’s selfish. Terribly selfish. But so what?

I’m the one dying. And she’s just a commoner who made the mistake of upsetting a dying man.

She’s a lowborn girl, born with sin just for being who she is.

And for the first time since my diagnosis, a smile touched my lips.

As I planned for a tomorrow I once wished would never come.

The sky was still dark when I stepped out into the cold, silent dawn.

After checking on my sleeping mother and quietly folding the blanket she had kicked off, I made my way outside.

Last night, she had made pumpkin soup again. Just like always, mine was rich and thick, while hers was watery and bland.

Even now, my mother still gave the better portion to her only daughter.

She never said anything, but I always noticed.

I tried stirring the two together to even them out. It looked more convincing that way.

There was a time I tried switching the bowls completely.

But my mother, Jane—who seemed to miss everything else—could always tell. She always noticed that.

I stood there a moment, staring at the thickened soup, then gently placed the lid on the pot.

I slowly opened the old door, trying not to make the rusty hinges creak.

I was almost outside when, once again, my mother caught me.

Even though I’d been so careful… she still knew.

She walked over and handed me a warm bowl of soup.

“At least eat this before you go.”

I wanted to scold her, to tell her to get more rest instead of doing this. But I stopped myself.

Her voice was so cracked and fragile that my anger faded.

“I told you not to come out here.”

“How could I not? My only daughter is doing all of this because of me. You’ve had such a hard life, all because you were unlucky enough to have a mother like me.”

“Don’t say that.”

The words burst out before I could stop them. She gave a soft smile, as if she regretted saying anything.

I wanted to apologize, but the words caught in my throat.

While I hesitated, she gently wrapped a scarf around my neck like nothing had happened.

It was new—made of wool, no less. Real wool, the kind that costs a fortune.

“You didn’t go out selling things again while I was gone, did you?”

“Of course not.”

Her startled face gave her away.

Whenever my mother lies, the corners of her eyes tremble ever so slightly.

“I told you not to come outside.”

“How could I not? My only daughter is doing all this because of me. You’ve suffered so much just for having a mother like me.”

“Don’t say that.”

The words burst out of me. My mother only gave a soft, apologetic smile, as if realizing she’d said something she shouldn’t have.

Seeing her like that tugged at my chest. I wanted to say sorry, but the words wouldn’t come out.

As I hesitated, she calmly wrapped a scarf around my neck like it was just another ordinary day. Her face was as bright and peaceful as ever.

It was a scarf I hadn’t seen before. Made of wool, no less. Wool was expensive—something we definitely couldn’t afford.

“You didn’t go out again while I was gone, did you?”

“No, of course not.”

But the way her eyes widened in surprise gave her away.

She always trembled at the corners of her eyes when she lied.

Watching her struggle to tell a lie, when she could barely hide anything to begin with, only filled me with guilt. I was the reason she felt she had to lie.

“The doctor said you can’t be out in the cold. Remember that?”

“I told you, it’s not like that.”

But I knew my mother. She never listened when it came to me.

She had always been like that—someone who would do anything for her daughter.

She had a strong heart, but a body that couldn’t keep up. A fragile giant, trying to protect someone else without any protection of her own.

Arguing wouldn’t change anything. I let out a small breath and chose to pretend I believed her lie.

But that didn’t mean I gave up.

This village was small. It wouldn’t take long to find out where she was working.

Most likely at Mrs. Laclevitt’s fish stall or Mr. Thompson’s dessert shop. Those were the only places that might hire someone in her condition.

Once I found out, I’d ask them to let her go. Politely.

Still, as I looked at her proud expression, I felt uncertain. Was that really the right thing to do?

I felt distant, unsettled.

Then she started coughing again.

Knowing she wouldn’t leave until I finished the soup, I gave in. I helped her back inside, then quickly drank the soup.

I washed the dish before she could try to do it herself.

When I stepped back outside, I looked over my shoulder. My mother was still standing there.

Even when I waved for her to go back inside, she just kept waving at me. Her arms fluttered like paper in the wind.

Such a stubborn woman.

But there was nothing else I could do now, so I turned and started walking quickly.

I didn’t slow down until her figure disappeared in the distance—just a small dot against the morning light.

Only then did I let out a long breath and head toward the main road where the upper market streets met.

The sky was slowly turning red, the kind of quiet light that seeps across the land before sunrise.

I walked through it like I always did, my feet following the familiar path through the alley and toward the harbor.

The road to Riorden’s Fish Shop had become routine. My legs moved there without even thinking.

And once my mother was out of sight, the memories I’d been avoiding began to return.

That young man—Cassian de Blanchet—with a face like an angel and words like a devil’s.

The way I stood in front of him, completely humiliated.

His cold gaze, the way he ignored me without a second thought.

The icy air in the room… and the burning sensation that lingered on my lips.

The shame I still felt on my skin.

He probably didn’t even consider how I felt when I told him I came there to take whatever I could get.

I thought I was fine.

But I wasn’t.

That moment kept replaying in my dreams like a nightmare. Over and over.

And every time, he would smirk and say I wasn’t desperate enough. Then he’d look at me like I was beneath him.

Was it because we were the same age? Or because I had never met someone like him before—and he crushed the tiny bit of pride I had left?

Normally, I could have brushed something like that off. But I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

And now, I’d probably get scolded by Aunt Mary for getting kicked out.

I was lost in thought, about to enter the fish shop, when someone caught my eye.

A man stood at the entrance, blocking the door. He was wearing formal clothing with the Alphonse crest embroidered on it.

There was no ignoring him, even if I tried.

His noble-looking silk clothes stood out like a sore thumb in this old alley.

I looked up—and recognized his face immediately.

The butler?

It was the same man who had brought me to Cassian yesterday.

Why is he here?

There’s no way that awful young master would send someone to bring me back.

Did I do something wrong?

Is he here to make me pay for it?

My mind spun in circles until I couldn’t think anymore. I forced myself to look up and ask.

“Why are you here…?”

Even though I tried to speak calmly, my voice trembled.

The butler’s expression was unreadable. I swallowed hard.

Then he spoke.

“The young master has ordered that you be brought back.”

I stood there, stunned.

The words didn’t register at first. It felt like fog had filled my head.

“Me…?”

“Yes. You’re to continue serving as the young master’s attendant.”

He wasn’t joking. His face made that clear.

In fact, his expression showed how much he hated having to do this.

Of course, he wouldn’t come all the way out to this poor alley just to play a prank.

That meant the order was real.

That cold, cruel young master, really did send for me.

“Why now, after you sent me away like that yesterday?”
I couldn’t even guess what he was thinking. But no matter the reason, the result was the same.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t do that.”
I already thought I was fired. On my way home yesterday, I found a new job.
“I’ve decided to work here now.”

The pay at the Alphonse estate was tempting, but I couldn’t go back to a place where I might be kicked out again at any time and ruin my reputation in this town.
To be honest, even without that risk, I had no desire to return to where he was.

When I thought about it, it wasn’t as if the estate was the only job out there. I could get through this winter just fine.
No, that’s not the truth. These are just excuses.
I simply didn’t want to go back to that stifling, oppressive place. A place that made even the coldest season feel like it was burning.

But then he said,
“That won’t be a problem.”
“What?”
“We’ve already told them we’ll be taking you.”

I was so shocked I couldn’t even respond.
Even if they worked for a noble family, this was going too far.
To speak as if everything had already been decided, without asking how I felt, was just too much.

At that moment, the fish shop owner appeared and ended the conversation.
“I’m sorry, El.”
“Mister…”
“Still, working at the Alphonse estate would be better for you, wouldn’t it?”

He sounded truly sorry, but it also seemed like he thought I had gotten lucky with a better job.
From inside the shop, I could hear someone calling for him urgently.
Since he had suddenly agreed to let me go, he would probably have to do double the work today.
He must have been paid something by Alphonse to give me up so easily.

As I clenched my fists, the butler spoke again.
“Then, let’s go.”

He clearly assumed I would follow him without question, and that made me feel angry.
They say pride doesn’t matter when money is involved, but whenever that young master is involved, everything feels wrong.
It makes me act like someone I’m not.

This time was no different. I let my emotions speak.
“Is this how you always do things?”

The butler looked at me quietly for a moment, as if unsure how to answer. Then he said,
“We’ll double your pay.”

He still spoke like it was obvious I would accept.
Unlike before, his tone was formal now, but the hostility was still there.
Even his polite manner seemed fake and forced.

That meant one thing.
This was all because of that arrogant young master’s orders.

So they paid my wages to the shop owner, and now they were offering double pay just to bring me back?
I couldn’t believe it.
It was so different from how cold and distant his red eyes were yesterday.
What on earth is that man thinking?

Did he find a new toy and decide to keep it?

I remembered the way he smirked, like he was amused. Maybe that’s all I was to him.
To me, the offer seemed too much. But to him, this amount of money probably meant nothing.

Even though the offer looked good on the outside, I had no choice but to accept it.
The double pay, just like the butler said, kept pulling me back.

With that money, I could afford my mother’s medicine and still have some left.
I could even buy the Reveru herbs I’d never dared to try before.
Though I didn’t know how long it would last.

Of course, that was only if I managed to survive there.

Still, like always, the shame I felt was quickly buried by desperation.

“I’ll go.”