Chapter 3
“Even if you’re not dying soon, there’s nothing you can’t do. You’re a Blanchet, after all.”
His face held a look of disbelief as he stared at me.
No surprise there. He probably wasn’t used to anyone talking back like this, especially to someone of his status.
Everyone always bowed their heads before a Blanchet.
“That’s amusing.”
A faint smile flickered across Cassian’s face, then vanished.
His gaze, laced with sarcasm, met mine.
“You’re just here hoping to catch whatever scraps fall from Blanchet’s table, aren’t you?”
Someone searching for the smallest drop from Blanchet.
It was a statement that perfectly described my situation. Normally, I would’ve brushed off a comment like that—it wasn’t particularly insulting.
Countless commoners, or at least everyone in Alphonse within the Cleonleaf region, lived like that. It wasn’t anything unusual.
A servant only needed to do their job and follow the master’s orders.
As someone who served a noble, my role was to sweeten everything with just the right touch, never stepping out of line.
Why? Because I was different?
Because I’d come to save him?
Those kinds of pretty words would’ve been enough.
But instead, my tongue moved on its own.
“…Yes. I came here hoping to pick up whatever I could.”
It was almost a reflex.
His eyes had looked so empty—like they were weighed down with heavy resignation. I couldn’t bring myself to lie sweetly.
It was a foolish decision.
What was I thinking, admitting that to someone like him? Why go and irritate a temperamental noble like that?
Letting emotions interfere with work was something I always considered foolish. And now, here I was—being just that.
As expected, one of Cassian’s eyebrows lifted in clear disapproval.
As if my answer wasn’t worth hearing.
Then he let out a soft chuckle, amused.
“But I guess you’re not that desperate after all?”
Despite the mocking words, his tone was strangely calm. Calm enough to make me briefly wonder if he was asking a genuine question.
Of course, I knew better.
A lump rose in my throat.
There hadn’t been a single moment in my life when I wasn’t desperate.
Even now, even when I walked through those gates, I had to be desperate every second.
That’s the only way I could survive day by day.
Just to keep living with my mother, I had to be.
Looking back, what I did today was unlike me.
So maybe I didn’t seem desperate at all.
Desperate people dig their own wells. They kneel before the ones who throw them food. That’s how the world works.
By that measure, I’d made a huge mistake today.
His red eyes stared straight through me, without the slightest hint of hesitation.
Whenever I met his gaze, it felt like it pierced straight through to my bones. Even sitting upright, I felt overwhelmed by his sheer presence.
His posture was stiff, like he was daring me to show just how desperate I really was.
So I started digging my well—too late.
“There’s no one in this town who isn’t desperate.”
One of Cassian’s brows twitched slightly. He looked surprised by my words.
“To someone like me, even a single drop from Blanchet is like lifeblood. Enough to survive another day, maybe even a month.”
“…”
“And the one holding the wellspring is you, sir.”
“Why should I care about any of that?”
The words were cold. Harsh, even. But coming from him, they meant something else entirely.
It was cruel to ask a dying man to care about someone else’s struggle.
“You don’t have to.”
“…”
“I just wanted to say that everyone’s doing their best.”
A suffocating silence lingered in the air.
Maybe I should’ve just said something sweet. Just a few sugary words would’ve been easier.
Expecting understanding—let alone pity—from someone in his position was foolish.
But then, I noticed something.
One corner of Cassian’s lips had curled upward, just barely.
Is he enjoying this?
A sharp voice cut through the thought before it could settle.
“Do I look like I care about how desperate everyone in this village is?”
“I’m one of them.”
“Oh? Then I guess I can just bring in a different desperate soul. Is that what you want?”
His words hit hard, squeezing the air from my lungs.
I’d been through so much. I’d dealt with people far more powerful than this noble.
But somehow, these few simple words wrapped tightly around my chest.
Maybe it was because his status was that high.
No. I’d faced plenty of nobles before.
Lots of wealthy travelers visited this town. Many of them were aristocrats just passing through, enjoying a leisurely trip. I’d seen them, served them.
They never showed open disdain. If they didn’t like you, they just quietly made a note—and had you dismissed later.
But this man—Cassian—he didn’t hide it.
He toyed with people.
It felt like he was toying with me, holding me in the palm of his pale hand, enjoying the fact that everything depended on one flick of his finger.
He had complete control over my desperation.
I couldn’t understand why I had told him the truth. Now I regretted it.
I hadn’t thought about how it would only feed his pride—or maybe I had and still went through with it. Either way, it was a foolish move.
It was ridiculous that I had thrown out those words so boldly, only to feel the weight of them now.
But what could I do? It was already done.
And now I had to deal with the consequences.
Humiliating words I didn’t want to say circled in my mouth before I finally let them out.
“What do you want me to do?”
Cassian, who had been quietly watching me, turned his eyes toward the bookshelf.
The way he flipped the pages was slower than before.
“Why? Are you really ready to do anything?”
His tone was lazy, and he flicked his finger casually.
I had no choice but to approach the bed. As I did, he reached out and grabbed my chin gently.
Despite how pale and delicate his hand looked, his grip was surprisingly strong.
His red eyes lowered slowly, glinting like sunlight. His gaze moved over me without hesitation.
He was so close, I could feel his breath.
“You must really want something… being alone in a room with me.”
His fingers brushed slowly across my lips.
I tried to move away in shock, but my body was frozen. I couldn’t react.
I trembled slightly. I wasn’t so naïve that I couldn’t understand what he meant.
There were stories—about screams from women at the estate, and how the next day, the maids would disappear quietly under the orders of the lady of the house.
Cassian was someone who lived as if the world revolved around him.
A thousand thoughts raced through my mind.
Still, the shame that spread through me made me feel small and pathetic.
After what felt like forever, Cassian finally let go of my face.
From that moment on, he didn’t look at me again. He just kept flipping through his book, as if nothing had happened.
I could only stand there and watch.
Because that was my role.
Cruelly, Cassian seemed completely focused on the book now, giving me no reason to move or speak.
So I stood still, staring blankly, while time dragged on. The silence was clear—he was ignoring me.
Every now and then, I caught a glimpse of his face between the turning pages. He looked completely indifferent.
That made me feel even worse, as if I was the only one who had taken the situation seriously.
Time passed slowly, painfully. The shame I felt started to turn into anxiety.
Am I going to be kicked out now?
Even then, I hesitated, wondering if I should say something.
Maybe I could change his mind.
Maybe one mistake could be forgiven.
Should I apologize? Beg, maybe?
Should I explain my situation in full?
But the silence went on and on.
Each second made it harder to breathe.
A wave of guilt hit me, and I couldn’t escape the thought that this was all my fault.
If this was his way of punishing me for not meeting his expectations, then he had chosen a cruel but effective method.
Through the book he was reading, I could still see his relaxed face—and it irritated me.
The distance between us suddenly felt much larger, as if it existed just to remind me of our difference in status.
It felt like a warning not to forget my place.
The shame I felt turned into something sharper—humiliation. I finally had enough time to fully understand my position.
Now… I understood.
From the beginning, he never had any intention of keeping me around.
He just needed someone to play with—a toy to amuse him for the day.
It’s laughable now that I actually tried, even for a moment, to show him sincerity.
Realizing this brought an end to what felt like hours of torment.
A knock sounded at the door, and the butler who came to fetch me glanced at me briefly, his expression tinged with surprise.
He seemed to think I had lasted longer than expected.
And he might be right. According to what Mrs. Mary told me before I came, most people didn’t even make it through a full hour.
That gave me a bit of hope. But now, all of it seemed meaningless.
After checking Cassian’s expression, the butler seemed to come to the same conclusion I had. His face tightened.
Seeing him react that way confirmed that Cassian must have been truly angry, though his cold demeanor had made it hard to tell.
Not that it mattered. There was no reason to dwell on someone I would never see again.
No one could be foolish enough to misunderstand the meaning behind being left standing there in silence for so long.
The butler’s eyes suddenly turned sharp.
Just from the way he looked at me, you’d think I had done something terrible.
“It’s time for you to rest, Master,” he said gently.
Cassian gave a small wave of his hand, and the butler quickly led me out of the room as if I were something that needed to be removed as soon as possible.
We didn’t stop walking until we had rounded the corner, far beyond the second hallway.
The butler finally paused and let out a long, weary sigh.
His furrowed brow looked no different from when he had first brought me here.
I understood his frustration. He must have had some hope that I would be different, and now he would have to find someone else all over again.
Still, he seemed to know where the real problem lay. Without saying much, he handed me an envelope.
“Here’s your full day’s pay. The exit is over there.”
His voice was heavier than before as he pointed toward the nearest door.
There were no questions, no judgment, no curiosity about what had happened inside.
No one asked if I had made a mistake or if the young master had overreacted.
It was treated like an everyday occurrence in this household.
Despite everything Mrs. Mary had told me, I had truly believed I would be the exception.
But in the end, I had become just another name in the long list of people who had come and gone. The bitterness settled on my tongue.
As I stepped outside, the black sky made me realize just how much time had passed.
The cold air, sharp and dry at the end of winter, brushed against my face.
It stung, just like my pride.
The envelope in my hand was heavy with pay I wouldn’t get anywhere else. But my heart felt even heavier.
I could have done better. That regret clung to me with every step I took.
Each footfall felt loaded with weight I couldn’t shake.
Before heading down the path toward the front gate, I stopped at the cliff known for its stunning view.
In the distance, I could see rooftops clustered close together, painted in soft shades.
Somewhere in that mix was my home.
My mother was probably at the stove, cooking soup by now, not thinking of herself even once.
My steps quickened.
I didn’t realize someone had been watching me from above the entire time.
