Chapter 37
My whole body stiffened as I tried to take a step. But perhaps because I had already been inside once, I had developed some immunity and wasn’t so scared as to step back.
“I’m… going in?”
Heena said as she turned to look at Yohan, who was standing still. It was a request for him to stay there. Yohan, understanding the meaning of her words, raised his eyebrows and nodded.
When she gently pushed the newly installed door, her grandfather’s room, not much different from before, filled her vision. The paper bag she had placed in the corner of the room with her grandfather’s old clothes last time was still there.
You can do it, Jeong Heena. Don’t cry!
Giving herself a pep talk, she sat down at the low desk that still needed to be organized. When she opened the drawer, various bills were organized, and on the other side were passbooks and a white envelope.
Heena had a hunch. These were the things her grandfather had left behind for his family.
What does it feel like to prepare for death? She couldn’t even dare to imagine.
Not having the courage to open the neatly placed white envelope first, she picked up the passbooks. On several passbooks, he had written and attached labels saying ‘Heena’s Marriage Fund,’ and on several others, it said ‘Heetae’s Marriage Fund.’
“Who said they needed something like this….”
Heena’s eyes were already moist as she grumbled.
She didn’t want to open the passbooks. It didn’t matter how much was inside. So she 괜히 flipped through the water bills one by one, but nothing registered in her eyes.
The white envelope kept catching the corner of her eye. Her chest felt tight at the thought that her grandfather’s last words would be written there.
Sooner or later, it was an envelope that Heena would have to open with her own hands. With a trembling hand, she picked it up. Inside, as expected, was her grandfather’s letter.
“Seo Yohan, you’re there, right?”
She called out to him in a tearful voice.
“Yeah.”
Yohan, who had been standing still and waiting, replied. She felt relieved at his answer. Heena slowly unfolded the letter.
Heena, Heetae, look.
It seems like just yesterday when you two were sitting on the veranda counting marbles, and now I’ve grown so old and have to leave the world first.
When I look out at the front yard, I can still clearly hear you two laughing.
Although it’s a pity that I can’t see that sight again, my heart is full even without eating when I think of you two silently forging your own paths in Seoul.
I raised you two more preciously than I raised my own children.
No matter how busy you are, I hope you won’t forget the time you spent with this old grandpa.
If we can meet again in the next life, please be born as this old grandpa’s grandchildren then too.
It was a letter written in a rough, scrawled handwriting. The handwriting resembled her grandfather’s disposition, and it felt like she could hear his voice. In each and every stroke, she could feel her grandfather’s heart, which had even settled his lingering attachment to life.
Her grandfather, who must have been preparing for death alone for quite some time. Her grandfather, who spent the rest of his life in Jinhong-ri after I and Heetae both left for Seoul, had not let go of his thoughts of us even while preparing for death.
Heena looked down again at the passbooks placed next to the letter. Her heart felt heavy at the thought of her grandfather, who must not have been able to eat and enjoy himself freely because of them.
He had never called first, never pestered us to come down to Jinhong-ri, never gotten angry and told us to repay him for raising us, so why did he live only thinking of us? And then why did he leave such a big heart behind before he died? How am I supposed to handle this heart that I can’t repay even if I die?
No tears came. Heena just slowly looked around the room, imagining how her grandfather had lived here.
He would have woken up early in the morning, made his bed, opened the mother-of-pearl wardrobe to put on clothes, and then gone out to the yard to cook rice. While the rice was steaming, did my grandfather think of us? Did he think of the times we all sat around the wooden bench in the yard and ate together? Was my grandfather lonely in the yard where we used to run and play? What was he thinking all alone?
It was the first time. Trying to understand another person’s heart.
But it was too difficult. I wanted to bring my grandfather back to life and ask him, there were so many things I wanted to ask him now, but I couldn’t get a single answer.
Did he ever resent us? When we rarely contacted him or didn’t visit Jinhong-ri, when he was just waiting endlessly during the holidays, did he resent us a lot?
“…I hope you didn’t hate me, Grandpa.”
Heena held her grandfather’s letter tightly to her chest.
It was a greedy desire to only receive love from a loved one. A selfish wish that even if she acted childishly, threw tantrums, and was stubborn, her grandfather would only love us, slipped out from Heena’s lips.
Knock, knock.
The sound of a knock on the door was heard.
“Oh, what is it.”
“Can I come in?”
Seo Yohan peeked his head in and looked inside. It was clear he was worried that I might be crying alone again. Heena deliberately put on a smile and nodded. Then he came over and sat next to her, quickly scanning her grandfather’s letter.
“His handwriting is just like him.”
“Right? I thought so too.”
“You’re not crying today?”
“I cried it all out last time.”
“You were crying your eyes out, so I thought you’d be the same today.”
Yohan’s gaze shifted to the passbooks. Even though her grandfather had clearly labeled them ‘Marriage Fund,’ he pretended to pocket them.
“Is this the fee for being my grandfather’s friend all this time? Why go this far?”
Thanks to Yohan, a chuckle escaped.
“I’m reporting you for theft.”
“I thought there would be a share for me too, of course.”
“If you really want it, just take Jeong Heetae’s. I’ll turn a blind eye.”
✦⋆🍒.₊ ⊹
“What? You’re on your way down now?”
A bolt from the blue was waiting for her in the morning.
For some reason, Jeong Heetae called, and she answered without thinking, only to find out he was driving down to Jinhong-ri right now. Having had no prior notice, the surprised Heena couldn’t help but raise her voice.
─Ah, you scared me. Why is your voice so loud?
Jeong Heetae also seemed flustered.
Heena clutched her phone and looked around. Clothes were scattered all over her room, where she had just brought her things back in yesterday, and most importantly… Seo Yohan was sleeping naked.
“Is something wrong?”
At Heena’s shout, Yohan, with a bedhead, struggled to lift one eyelid and sat up. Only then did Heena put a finger to her lips and silently mouthed, ‘Shh, shh!’
─Huh? Wasn’t that Seo Yohan’s voice just now?
“…Was your hearing always that good?”
─Ah, what the. You two are hanging out alone? How cheap. Let me join too, okay?
Yohan’s gaze was like that of a husband watching his wife on the phone with another man, so Heena quickly opened her lips and spoke silently again. It’s Jeong Heetae, Jeong Heetae.
“Where… are you now?”
─I just passed the Cheonan Expressway. It’s really far.
Fortunately, there was still plenty of time before Jeong Heetae arrived. Letting out a sigh of relief, Heena patted her chest and looked back at Yohan. Yohan stretched and snatched the phone from Heena’s hand.
“Where did you say you were?”
It was a low voice, having just shaken off the drowsiness. She could hear Jeong Heetae saying something on the other end, but seeing Yohan’s expression remain unchanged, it seemed Jeong Heetae hadn’t noticed anything.
Jeong Heetae hadn’t even known that the two had been long-time lovers. He would never be able to guess that they had met again in Jinhong-ri after breaking up and even had sex. He was the type to just think, ‘They’re together this early in the morning, they must be really close and diligent.’
“Then on your way here, stop by a rest stop and buy a bunch of so-tteok so-tteok (rice cake and sausage skewers). To give to the village elders.”
A faint shout of ‘You crazy bastard, you go buy it!’ was heard.
Heena quickly gathered her clothes and put them on. She was putting on her underwear and about to put on her pants when a sinister hand snaked into the inside of her pale thigh.
Yohan pressed the end call button and tossed the phone far away.
“I’ve ordered the so-tteok so-tteok, so he’ll be later than expected. Let’s stay like this for a little longer.”
But Seo Yohan, who has no older or younger sister, will never know. That no matter how close siblings are, they never want to reveal their love life.
Heena slapped the back of the large, intruding hand.
“Absolutely not. Get up, Seo Yohan!”
