Chapter 2
“May the glory of Lord Jeruel always dwell in this land!”
A beautiful melody awakened my consciousness from the endless darkness I had been lost in.
“Ahh!”
I gasped for breath like someone who had just come up for air after being underwater for a long time, and opened my eyes.
In front of me were intricately carved marble pillars. The high ceiling soared above, where the seven gods and their divine messengers were depicted in sacred paintings. Multicolored light poured through the stained-glass windows, casting a brilliant glow on the marble floor below.
Is this heaven?
Since I had died, I naturally assumed I must be in heaven. Like someone from the countryside stepping into a big city for the first time, I looked around in wonder. But there were no angels in sight. Instead, the space was filled with people who looked just like ordinary townsfolk.
“You should be still while praying, Bella.”
Just then, a familiar and deeply missed voice reached my ears. That voice. It could not be. My heart pounded as I turned my head to the side.
“Mother?”
I could hardly believe it, but it really was her. Even though I was seeing her with my own eyes, it didn’t feel real. She had passed away. So how could I be meeting her now?
“Oh, right. I died too, didn’t I…”
As I muttered this belated realization like a sigh, Mother frowned.
“Died? What are you talking about, Bella? No one is dead.”
She took my hand and held it firmly, speaking with a serious tone as if scolding me for saying something so awful.
“Why would you say something like that all of a sudden? Did you fall asleep for a moment and have a strange dream?”
A dream? Could this really be a dream?
To make sure, I pinched my cheek hard.
It hurt. That meant this was not a dream.
Wait a second.
Why are my hands so small?
Not only my hands, but my feet and body had become smaller too. It felt as if I had turned into a child again.
And this black dress I was wearing now. It was the special one I only wore on the memorial days of my maternal grandfather and grandmother.
Come to think of it, this temple was also the place we used to visit on those memorial days.
One by one, forgotten memories began to return. The warm sunlight streaming through the stained-glass windows, the priest’s sleepy sermon that always made me drowsy, and my mother’s gentle hand stroking my head whenever I nodded off with a sleepy tilt.
“Bella, are you alright? Are you feeling sick?”
Seeing me dazed, Mother narrowed one eye and placed her hand on my forehead.
It was warm. Clearly the warmth of someone alive. Feeling that warmth meant I was alive too. Not only that, I had somehow become younger.
What is going on? I clearly remember dying.
The terrifying moment when I fell down the stairs was still vivid in my mind. As I followed the thread of that memory, I remembered it all. I had begged the divine to give me just one more chance.
Could it be? Did God truly answer my prayer?
I turned to look at the statue of the god at the front of the temple.
Just then, a bell rang out.
It was the same sound I had heard right before I lost consciousness. The solemn chime that pierced deep into my heart and spread through my entire body felt like the divine whispering back, saying your desperate wish has been heard.
“Thank you. Thank you so much.”
Now that I finally understood what had happened, I brought my hands together and offered a heartfelt prayer of gratitude.
This time, I will protect my mother no matter what. Please watch over us, Lord.
As if blessing my vow, soft light streamed through the stained glass and poured down gently over my head.
After the memorial for Grandfather ended, I left the temple holding my mother’s hand.
Just being able to hold her hand again, something I thought I would never do, made emotions rise in my chest. Tears threatened to spill, but I held them back. I did not want to cry on such a precious day.
Instead, I smiled brighter than ever and squeezed her hand even tighter.
After getting off the carriage and walking through a quiet underpass, a familiar street appeared before me.
Run-down buildings stood crookedly, with trash scattered everywhere and narrow cobblestone paths full of uneven dips that could trip someone up if they were not careful.
The smell of sewage and rotting garbage was almost unbearable.
As a child, I used to hate this place. I was ashamed of it. I had always wanted to escape as soon as possible.
But now, for some reason, it felt strangely comforting. The old buildings felt warm and familiar, and even the awful stench seemed to stir up old memories in a way that made me smile.
My mood lifted, and my steps became lighter. As I hummed and bounced along the street, Mother burst into laughter.
“You seem to be in a good mood today.”
“Yes. I’m really happy.”
Because I was with my mother again. Just that alone made me feel as if I had the whole world in my hands.
But happiness never lasts long.
“Where have you been running around all day? Coming back at this hour?”
The sharp, angry voice made both me and my mother stop in our tracks.
Standing in front of the rusted iron gate was that man. My father.
The sun had not even set, and yet he was already reeking of alcohol and staggering. He looked absolutely disgraceful.
“We went to the temple. It is Father’s Memorial Day today.”
“The temple? So, you wasted more money again? If you had that kind of money, you should have given it to me. I could have turned it into three times as much!”
As if. He lost our house and all our money to gambling and even tried to sell off his own daughter to pay his debts, and now he was acting like that?
“Why don’t you stop gambling and try working for once? I heard the port is hiring.”
“What did you just say?”
Staggering toward us, he grabbed my mother by the collar and shouted.
“You’re telling me, a nobleman, to do the kind of work only commoners would do? Is that what this is? Are you mocking me right now?”
“That’s not what I meant…”
“Not what you meant? You’ve been spoiled too much, and now you think you can talk back to me?”
As he screamed in her face, the memory of what happened right before I died came rushing back. My whole body began to shake. My vision turned white, and my lips went completely dry.
Get a hold of yourself, Bella. You promised to protect her this time.
I forced myself to focus and took a deep breath, recalling the vow I made in the temple.
“Please help us! Somebody, help!”
I screamed at the top of my lungs until my voice echoed through the entire neighborhood. People passing by stopped to look, and even those inside buildings turned their heads toward us.
“What do you think you’re doing? Stop that right now!”
“Dad is trying to kill Mom! Please, someone help us!”
My father grabbed my arm in panic, but I didn’t stop. I kept shouting as loudly as I could.
As more and more people looked our way, my father began to panic. He started backing away, his face flushed as red as the evening sky. It was a rare sight.
“Just my luck. Disgusting.”
He spat on the ground and cursed, then disappeared faster than I thought possible, as if he had never staggered at all.
I stood still, watching his figure grow smaller in the distance, just in case he came back. That was when a warm embrace wrapped around me.
“Let’s go inside, Bella.”
It was my mother.
She politely told the concerned people around us that we were alright and thanked them for helping. Then she guided me into the building.
When I saw the stairs, we had fallen from trying to escape him, the memory of the pain came back so vividly that my legs went weak.
But I held on. I gritted my teeth and forced myself to stay upright. My mother’s hand, gripping mine, was trembling even more than mine.
If I gave in and collapsed now, she would break down too.
Even though this house had once been the place where he beat us mercilessly, it still felt safer than those stairs.
“Bella.”
We sat facing each other on the old couch. My mother held my hands tightly as she spoke.
“Don’t ever stand up to your father again. You could get hurt too.”
“What about you, then?”
If this had been the past, I might have just nodded and agreed. But not anymore.
“Is it okay for you to get hurt instead?”
At my sharp question, my mother looked at me in surprise. I stared directly into her trembling eyes and continued.
“I don’t want this. I don’t want you to get hit. I don’t want to just stand there and do nothing while it happens. So I won’t stay silent anymore. I’ll stop him. I won’t let him lay a hand on you again.”
My voice grew louder as my emotions boiled over.
My mother, at a loss for words, just sat quietly for a moment. Then she let out a deep sigh and pulled me into a hug.
“I’m sorry.”
Her voice trembled with tears. My shoulder, where her face rested, slowly became damp.
“I’m sorry, Bella. For being such a useless mother…”
Why are you the one apologizing? He’s the one who should be sorry.
I swallowed the words that rose to my throat. Saying them now would only make her cry more.
“I’m okay, Mom.”
Instead, I repeated those words softly, like a lullaby, and gently patted her trembling back.
