Chapter 11: Love Me

Eden paced by the window until darkness had completely settled outside. Her memories trailed one after another, endless and unrelenting.

Looking slightly anxious, she murmured to herself, “I doubt I’ll see him again in this lifetime.”

“See who?”

Startled by the voice behind her, Eden turned abruptly. Her heart plummeted, and the strength drained from her body.

Liam pulled her into his arms in one swift motion, holding her tight without letting go for a long while.

“You scared me. It’s rude to come in without making a sound.”

“You don’t look well.”

“Ah…”

“Are you running a fever?”

He knelt to meet her eyes and pressed his forehead to hers, his red eyes scanning her face with quiet intensity.

Eden could feel her racing heart slowly begin to calm. She pushed him away firmly with both hands. She didn’t have the energy to get into a pointless back-and-forth with him.

“You do feel a bit warm.”

Liam frowned slightly.

“I’ve just… had a lot on my mind.”

“You can think just as well in bed.”

“Liam!”

Without warning, he scooped her up and strode over to the bed. As Eden let out a long sigh, he chuckled softly. After gently laying her down, he began wrapping her snugly in the blanket.

“Eden. I know what you’re expecting, but for tonight, let’s hold off.”

He tucked her in like a cocoon, then lay beside her with a satisfied grin. Eden stared silently at him.

‘What’s this about now?’

Liam slipped an arm around her waist and closed his eyes. His expression was so serene, like that of a child, that it stirred something strange inside her.

“Sleep. I’ll stay right here.”

Eden’s skeptical gaze lingered on his closed eyes. Yet, despite herself, the weight of his gentle presence lulled her further and further into drowsiness. Instinctively, she bit her lower lip.

“You’ll hurt yourself.”

Liam tapped her lips lightly. Eden’s eyes flew open, startled, and found his face right before hers, watching her closely, as if he’d been doing so for some time.

“It’s a habit.”

As she knit her brows, one corner of Liam’s mouth twitched. He spoke in a voice tinged with laughter.

“I’ll break you of it.”

“How?”

“Like this.”

His lips descended swiftly. Like soothing an ache, he softly took her lower lip between his and let it go again, repeating the motion gently. His scent slipped through the space between their lips and settled deep inside her.

Then, brushing a kiss against the corner of her mouth, he slowly pulled back and whispered, “Eden.”

“…Yes?”

He hesitated slightly, then spoke.

“I didn’t mean to pressure you. I just…”

He must have assumed her conflicted mind was due to what he’d said earlier, essentially a proposal. It would be understandable.

Eden realized with a faint smile that she had completely forgotten about him asking her to become Empress.

“I know. I won’t take it as pressure.”

When she nodded, a faint smile appeared on Liam’s face.

“Just stay by my side. That’s all I’ll ask.”

He gently brushed her cheek with his hand. Maybe she really did have a slight fever, his cool touch felt soothing. The heaviness in her chest lightened just a little.

Eden slowly closed her eyes.

“When you’re feeling better, we could travel through the western and northern regions together. The western coast is beautiful. I want to show it to you.”

We’re getting close. Eden thought. From his voice and the way he caressed her, she saw a glimpse of her former self before everything fell apart.

“All right. I’ll look forward to it.”

A ticklish warmth stirred in her chest. She didn’t know whether she wanted to laugh or cry. She buried her face into Liam’s chest, exhaling and inhaling deeply. As if he were someone who would always stay by her side. Like lovers wrapped in a midnight embrace.

How much time passed, she didn’t know. Unable to sleep, Eden cautiously opened her eyes. She heard the steady sound of Liam’s breathing right beside her. Carefully, she turned her body to face him. 

His black hair had fallen naturally across his forehead. A sharp nose, long lashes, a face so still it seemed unreal. Her gaze slowly traced his features.

“…He is handsome.”

The thought slipped out before she could stop it.

As he slept, Liam looked completely at peace. No war, no death, no power, no vengeance weighed on him. He looked like nothing more than an ordinary boy.

Eden gently pulled the blanket up over him. Since he had bundled her up earlier, she had to struggle a bit to get it just right. Maybe he felt cold, Liam wriggled deeper into the covers. Eden couldn’t help but chuckle quietly.

It felt strange. She didn’t feel any hatred. No resentment.

Even as she watched him sleep vulnerably beside her, no murderous thoughts surfaced. Her blood didn’t boil, and her skin didn’t crawl. All she felt was the drowsiness passing from him to her and, just a little, a quiet sadness.

“If… just if…”

Eden whispered with him deeply asleep before her.

‘If you hadn’t pushed me toward Rodenberg that day… if you had been kind to me just once… would I have kept on loving you?’

Then maybe, watching him sleep like this, she could have simply drifted off in peace. With her ear pressed to his chest, soothed by the steady beat of his heart, comforted just by the fact that he was alive.

Eden’s eyes trembled.

Liam said nothing. Only the gentle rhythm of his breath filled the silence. It felt empty. A hollow settled deep within her, and her nose stung with sudden emotion. Her eyes quickly grew hot.

A thin tear slipped down her cheek like a cut. Once they started, the tears wouldn’t stop. Her pillow grew damp.

Once, she had loved him so much it felt like dying. Just looking at him had made her heart swell. Just walking behind him had been enough. There was nothing she wouldn’t have done for him, nothing she wouldn’t have given.

“I won’t forgive you.”

At the rustle beside her, Eden shook herself free from her spiraling thoughts. Liam shifted slightly, uncomfortable in his position.

Eden held her breath and buried her face in the pillow. Fortunately, he didn’t wake. His breathing soon returned to its steady rhythm. Her heart, which had sunk heavily, began to beat again slowly.

‘…Don’t recover too easily. I want you to suffer. For a long, long time.’

Liam exhaled deeply, and his scent lingered at her nose, sweet, almost intoxicating. 

It was a pleasant scent, but Eden instinctively frowned. She would never forget this smell. But she would never have to smell it again. Soon. In the not-so-distant future.

The thought gave her a sliver of peace. She murmured quietly, “You wicked man.”

Liam was close enough to feel her breath. Eden looked at him slowly.

The small scar on the right side of his forehead. The tiny mole beneath his left eye. His now-healthier cheeks, and the roughness of his jaw every morning.

‘You’ll never understand. You’ll probably think it’s unfair. Because to you, this is a future that never happened and never will.’

Eden knew far too much about him. Trivial memories that meant nothing now came flooding back like waves.

‘But to me, those times can never be undone. I can’t forget them. I can’t pretend they never happened.’

She carefully reached out and brushed his hair from his forehead. Deep in sleep, Liam didn’t stir under her touch.

‘What will happen to Liam when I’m gone?’

Eden found herself wondering.

He would likely be furious. He couldn’t stand things not going his way. He would try everything to find her, and he would. Without fail.

‘Then what if I die? How would Liam react?’

He’d probably grieve. Eden let out a faint, bitter smile. In this life, it was clear he did love her. He would be angry for a while, like a child. But eventually, he’d go back to his normal self. Like a boy who had been given a fascinating toy, his feelings never ran deeper than that.

“Until then… love me more.”

Eden clasped her hands together. It was a prayer to the god that had already died within her.

She prayed that he would fall in love with her. That he would come to know love, real love, as she had. That his days would be filled with it, so full that he’d forget how to live without loving her.

“Because then it’ll hurt more.”

Because she wanted him to ache, deeply and endlessly, in her absence. That every time he faced the scar she left behind, he’d remember the pain she gave him.

“Love me.”

With her face buried in a damp pillow, Eden prayed again and again, with desperate sincerity.

* * *

Time flew by quickly. Eden accommodated Liam in every way she could. Now that the day of her departure was drawing near, even smiling at him no longer felt as difficult as it once had.

Not a single day passed without Eden stopping by his office. It was the result of intense negotiation with Liam, who had practically taken up residence in her room.

Even though Eden had offered to simply use a guest chair, Liam insisted on bringing in a chair just for her, one far more ornate than his own. If that was the case, it would’ve made sense to get her a separate desk as well, but Liam had been adamant about that.

“A waste of taxpayer money. The desk is wide enough as it is.”

The specially commissioned chair he had made for Eden was adorned with no fewer than six premium-grade sapphires. This was what one would call a true waste of tax money, Eden had muttered to herself as she sat down, prompting Liam to burst into laughter. That laugh had become all too familiar now.

Eden shook her head and buried her face in the paperwork.

“Eden, I suppose it’s better to visit the western region first, don’t you think? I imagine you’ve never walked along the shore before.”

Though Liam hadn’t brought her into the office to actually assist with work, the end result was that Eden spent the entire day handling imperial affairs in his place. Eventually, she stopped even asking for his approval before stamping documents with the imperial seal. All because Liam was too distracted to notice.

“It’s best to move forward with this as-is, don’t you think? The budget’s a bit tight, but…”

“Yes. But winter comes early in the north, so we can’t spend too long in the west. Besides, you’ll be seeing your favorite scenery to your heart’s content soon enough, from your room, that is, so don’t be too disappointed.”

Grinning mischievously, Liam pulled Eden’s chair toward him. In a blink, she found herself awkwardly perched on his thigh, now looking down at him. The firm muscles beneath her sent a flush surging up her face. Liam smiled slyly and showered kisses all over her face.

“Your Majesty!”

“If you’d like, I can show you right now.”

He nipped gently at her cheek and neck, teasing. When Eden kissed the top of his head and naturally pulled away, Liam clicked his tongue softly in disappointment and held out a hand, as if to say, then at least hold my hand.

With a helpless smile, Eden extended hers, and his hot palm closed over her cool one, enveloping it completely. He kissed the back of her hand twice, then sent her a lingering, smoldering look.

“It’s time for you to attend to state affairs.”

“What? A western and northern inspection is an important matter.”

“When are you planning to depart?”

“Once everything’s ready, maybe in two weeks. Word is, the north has been swarming with bandits lately. I plan to take care of that while I’m there.”

A flash of an image crossed Eden’s mind at that moment. It was as if something solid had struck the back of her head, numb and ringing.

It felt like she’d stumbled upon a clue in an entirely unexpected place, and the sensation left her strangely unsettled. Forcing a smile to her lips, she turned to Liam.

“…I see.”