Chapter 44
Sian trailed off, dumbfounded, feeling rather bewildered.
“I don’t remember it exactly. I wasn’t in the right state of mind then… I just asked because I felt like I had seen you somewhere before, so there’s no need to be too surprised.”
Carl spoke casually, but who would have thought he would remember what he had seen briefly back then?
“I thought I saw a young girl with platinum blonde hair. Since Ivarid wasn’t a place where young girls could wander around freely at that time, I thought the locals were being cautious and deliberately called Idelin.”
Carl said casually, crossing his arms.
It means that even Idelin’s subsequent appearance was his calculated intention. Sian let out a light, mirthless laugh.
“…Reva said she wanted to become a dragon master.”
Sian added. Carl wore a cold sneer.
“As if that’s something you can do at will.”
“That’s right. Actually, the reason my relationship with Reva soured was largely due to Idelin, whom we saw that day.”
Unlike Sian, who had focused on Idelin’s master appearing through the midday sun, Revenant was entranced by Idelin’s intense silver magic adorning the sky.
‘I want it.’
Revenant’s green eyes, glistening towards that powerful being like the sun, were vivid in Sian’s memory.
‘Let’s take it.’
Reva said, but it was an absurd idea. Sian, who had been a dragon master and denied it herself, knew this better than anyone.
‘It’s different from other dragons. It’s a glorious dragon, a direct descendant of Yggdrasil. It might understand us.’
Holding the curved blade she always carried, Reva harbored a vain hope close to greed.
‘Dragons choosing their masters is entirely up to the dragons. Do you think you can forcibly take that away?’
‘You’re too soft, Sian. All beings with intelligence can only submit to overwhelming force. What could be more precious than their own life?’
Reva said this with a sardonic smile.
Although Sian’s eyes were veiled with ignorance and innocence, she clearly felt an instinctive fear. She thought something was terribly wrong with this eerie feeling, but she tried to ignore it, thinking “surely not.” She believed that Reva, who was perfect in every way, couldn’t be saying something wrong.
It was only after quite a long time that Sian learned how many dragons that sword of Reva’s, which she cherished more than her life, had butchered.
“But the prince’s guard, as Idelin’s master, was quite strict. It was difficult for Reva, who had mainly hunted wild dragons without masters, to break through the well-organized imperial guard. Finding Idelin’s nest was even more difficult.”
“…”
Carl was silently staring at Sian’s face as she spoke, slowly recalling her memories.
“Why did you part ways with her? It seems you continued to travel with her for quite some time even after she started coveting Idelin.”
Carl carefully asked after a moment of silence, just throwing glances. Sian, who had been staring into space, turned her head to meet Carl’s gaze.
“After that, Reva, who was frustrated at not being able to see Idelin again, tried to kill another dragon she coveted.”
“A wild dragon?”
Carl asked. Sian just silently pulled the corner of her mouth without answering. If Reva had targeted a wild dragon next, their relationship wouldn’t have soured that much.
The next thing Reva coveted after Idelin was none other than Sian’s dragon.
‘You were a dragon master?’
The woman she had believed to be her soulmate until recently suddenly changed her gaze and grasped her sword.
‘You ungrateful bitch.’
The sharp words more cruelly tore apart the belief that had veiled Sian’s eyes than a well-sharpened blade.
It was Reva who taught Sian how to use a sword. They fought fiercely with the swordsmanship Sian had first learned from her, but the fight ended in a draw.
After that, Sian never met Reva again. She wandered aimlessly here and there alone, until she met Max, who was a novice mercenary, formed a bond with him, and became a mercenary following him.
The memory was vivid, but Sian remained silent, clutching the handkerchief with both hands. It would be more accurate to say she couldn’t speak.
“…Sian?”
When Sian, who had been confessing many things in a calm tone, closed her mouth, Carl called her name as if feeling anxious. Even that voice was incredibly warm.
Suddenly, belatedly, Sian thought she understood why she had burst into tears upon seeing Carl.
“…Can I borrow your shoulder?”
Carl’s eyes widened at the unexpected proposal that came in response to his prodding for an answer.
“It would be my honor, lady.”
Soon, Carl smiled, pulled closer to Sian’s side, and patted his shoulder, saying, “Here.”
Sian leaned her head on Carl’s shoulder with a bitter smile. Carl’s shoulder, touching her temple, was firm. It felt reliable, and warm too.
It was a sensation that made her want to rely on someone. It was also a sensation that made her want to possess it.
The warmth of someone with affection, long forgotten. Sian closed her eyes, feeling as if she might start crying again after having just stopped.
She had been lonely. For a long time. Unable to rely on anyone, and not even acknowledging her own origins, for a very long time.
In Carl’s eyes, which had warmly changed without her noticing, she acutely realized a loneliness she hadn’t been aware of. That was the cause of the sudden outburst of tears.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
Carl answered willingly.
“How did you feel when you were chosen by the dragon?”
Sian asked, her head resting on Carl’s shoulder, her gaze fixed on empty space. Carl turned his head to look at her, but all he could see was her dazzling platinum blonde hair.
“…I don’t even remember. I was four years old then. I only know because that’s what people around me told me.”
“You remember seeing me once 12 years ago so well, but you can’t remember that?”
Sian laughed as she spoke jokingly.
“Remembering something from when I was four… wouldn’t that be beyond human memory?”
Sian just laughed at Carl’s words. Carl was watching the beautiful platinum blonde hair on his shoulder shake slightly.
“And… you stood out.”
With a strange impulse, Carl carefully stroked the flowing platinum blonde hair with his fingertips. Sian, who had once shown a sensitive reaction just from having her hair touched, didn’t startle at Carl’s hand caressing the ends of her hair.
She just silently stared at the man’s hand stroking the ends of her hair, as if she wanted it too.
“Clear-colored hair like Idelin’s scales fluttered from under a shabby hat. It was just a brief moment, but that scene stuck in my mind as if it had been etched there.”
“It’s a fragmentary memory,” Carl added in a rather subdued, low voice, almost whispering. Sian unconsciously bit her lip hard.
‘What did you wander for such a long time?’
The High Priestess’s kind question swirled in her mind.
Nothing. I didn’t do anything for anything, and I didn’t want anything.
Sian recalled the honest answer she couldn’t give at that time.
No matter how much she wanted, there was nothing she could have. She didn’t want to be excommunicated. She didn’t want to be alone.
Nevertheless, due to the calculated judgment of adults, Sian had to become alone, erased from even existing in her family.
What to do, what to live for. At a young age, without having learned anything, wandering the world aimlessly alone, Sian learned more harshly than anyone that even if you want and desire, the world doesn’t easily give you what you want.
The prince and Idelin, whom she had caught a glimpse of by chance during those aimless times, were too brilliant a light to covet. For Sian, who had been exiled with all records of her birth and upbringing deleted, they were beings she couldn’t even dream of approaching.
In the world, there are all kinds of lives. There are those who are born with everything and live luxurious lives, and there are those who have everything taken away from birth and must live miserable lives.
Sian thought she was destined for the latter. What more could someone denied existence even by their family desire?
But in the end, after going around in circles, she ended up coming to the temple she had avoided so much. Perhaps this too was a predetermined path.
On one hand, irresponsible neglect and boundless affection. What answer did the all-knowing High Priestess want from her?
Sian asked herself. She already knew the answer.
“…Is it okay for me to want?”
But she wasn’t confident. Could she have it even if she wanted it? Was she allowed to have it?
For the first time, Sian craved the kind affection directed at her. But she didn’t have the courage to desire it.
Sian thought Carl wouldn’t understand the true meaning of the question she had vocalized softly, as if talking to herself. That’s why she easily let it out.
But Carl exceeded Sian’s expectations. Just like he had clearly remembered for over 10 years the momentary eye contact she thought he would never remember.
Carl, who had been gently stroking her hair, softly grasped the ends of her hair.
“If what you mean is the same as what I’m thinking.”
Sian was listening to the faltering voice above her head as if it were someone else’s business.
“…That too would be my honor, lady.”
A brief kiss landed on the light-colored hair.
* * *
“God is great.”
Bill said, moved.
“May the glory of the great Yggdrasil reach the heavens.”
Dr. Zivago clasped his hands reverently.
“…This is all free, right?”
“How touching.”
The mercenaries, faced with a lavish feast, all shouted the glory of Yggdrasil without exception.
The luxurious beds, incomparable to shabby inn rooms, were soft and fluffy enough to ensure a good night’s sleep just by lying down, and the food for visitors was all steaming hot, melting in the mouth.
Above all, the fact that all of this was free made the mercenaries overflow with emotion and renew their faith.
“It’s always good to ride the right coattails. Who would have thought that the prince sis picked up would bring us such luxury?”
“This is why people go crazy for power.”
Skull laughed, tearing into the meat.
“By the way, what’s going to happen to us now? Sis didn’t seem to want to go with His Highness anymore.”
“But we received such a large sum without doing anything, and people have loyalty, so shouldn’t we go with His Highness until he clears his name?”
“It’s because we know it’s too dangerous a path to go just for loyalty. Sis was reluctant to help His Highness from the beginning.”
It was when Max answered that the door to the visitors’ room suddenly opened without a knock.
“…You’re all such good-for-nothings.”
It was Sian.
