Chapter 42
An old-fashioned story. That was Sian’s assessment of the High Priestess’s long-winded explanation.
“The Emperor’s dragon was killed by a dragon hunter who wanted to become a dragon master but couldn’t. Isn’t that enough reason for the temple that protects dragons to take direct action?”
“It’s not a matter significant enough to shake the foundations of peace. The law of primogeniture is the first and last divine law that the temple placed above imperial law. You can’t even imagine how much dragon blood was spilled before we established that law.”
Sian narrowed her eyes sharply at the High Priestess’s words.
Are you saying that compared to the horrible things that happened in the past, this is nothing?
Sian knew roughly about it. How much political strife there had been in the imperial family before the law of primogeniture was established.
If only one dragon master emerged in the imperial family, succession would have been very easy, but such cases were rare. Quite a number of imperial descendants with Yggdrasil’s blood were chosen by dragons. When multiple dragon masters appeared in one generation, civil war over the throne was almost inevitable.
To find balance in a world becoming impoverished because of this, the temple proclaimed the law of primogeniture, and the fratricidal strife that had continued for generations seemed to finally cease.
However, peace was short-lived, and the feeble humans found new conflicts again.
Only the firstborn dragon master can hold the imperial throne. Then, conversely, if a dragon master prince becomes the firstborn, that would do.
Because of this, those born as firstborns, with the position of Crown Prince from birth, were swept up in all kinds of dangers. There was no true peace. In the world, only hypocrisy that seemed like peace existed.
“…That damn natural order.”
Sian sneered lowly and kicked a small stone at her feet for no reason. The small piece of stone on the grass, lightly pushed, didn’t reach the High Priestess. Nor did it disturb the scenery around the mystical tree.
Somehow thinking that sight was like herself, a cold sneer hung on the corner of her mouth again.
“So what does the temple side, knowing everything, want me to do? Return to the capital where no one wants me back? What choice would be the natural order that doesn’t cause side effects?”
The High Priestess, who had been standing at a distance with her hands clasped, lightly bowed her head.
“The choice is yours.”
“What are you saying? You just said that those chosen as dragon masters can’t abandon their dragons, while talking about natural order and whatnot.”
Sian frowned openly. The High Priestess burst into laughter.
“Aira, you should have come here first when danger struck, like Idelin’s master. But you denied being a dragon master yourself and wandered the world.”
“…”
“You might think you’ve gained a lot and become much stronger because of it, but ask yourself honestly. What did you become strong for, and why did you wander the world for so long? What’s left for you now?”
Sian bit her lip hard, looking at the High Priestess who seemed to know even her real name that she hadn’t mentioned. The High Priestess’s golden eyes shone with warm light.
“…Those who deny their own existence can’t possess anything. The temple isn’t trying to force the life of a dragon master on you. We only hope you find a path where you can be happy.”
“I’m already happy enough as I am.”
Sian retorted in a tone like a teenager to the High Priestess’s warm gaze that seemed familiar from somewhere. The High Priestess, clearly knowing the truth of that answer, just nodded kindly with a smile.
“Then go that way. As you said, deciding your life’s path is entirely your choice.”
The High Priestess’s voice was infinitely gentle, but Sian’s expression didn’t relax.
It was truly advice befitting an all-knowing observer.
The High Priestess was gently warning that both the decision of the path and the consequences and responsibilities that come with it are one’s own.
Do this, do that. It would have been less annoying if she had just said it outright. The advice with its strange distance felt rather like irresponsible meddling.
Sian clicked her tongue and brushed back her hair.
What’s right? No, is there even a correct answer to begin with?
The wind blew. It was a flow whose origin and destination were unknown. Sian looked up at the massive tree that was the empire’s origin within that flow.
Her hair, which she had just brushed back thoroughly, was disheveled again by the wind.
* * *
Sian walked aimlessly, staring blankly at the ground. Her tangled thoughts wouldn’t organize themselves. She didn’t have the will to organize them either.
‘Don’t be afraid to move forward. Just as you ended up here even after giving up being a dragon master and wandering the world, fate is fate because there’s no way to avoid it.’
That was the High Priestess’s final advice to the troubled Sian. Fate. She had turned that word over in her mind half-jokingly several times herself, but does such a thing as predetermined fate really exist?
‘I will erase all your records.’
The voice she had heard on that pitch-black night when everything was taken from her tangled messily in her mind along with the High Priestess’s voice.
‘Deciding your life’s path is entirely your choice.’
Looking back, the High Priestess’s words didn’t make sense. She had decided to avoid and run away from the path of a dragon master she was chosen for but didn’t want, wandering the world as nothing.
Yet, the fact that she ended up at Yggdrasil’s tree, which all dragon masters pass through, made her wonder if perhaps there is a predetermined path that can’t be avoided no matter how much one struggles and tries to escape.
Then does my will not matter at all?
Sian felt thoroughly unpleasant due to an indescribable sense of powerlessness.
What can I do, and what can I have?
No matter how much she thought about it, Sian, wandering aimlessly, couldn’t understand what the all-knowing High Priestess knew about her to give such advice.
“…Oh!”
She had nowhere to go. More precisely, she didn’t know where to return to. Because of this, Sian, who had been wandering inside the temple while leaving her complex thoughts unchecked, didn’t notice at all the figure approaching in front of her.
Sian belatedly realized she had almost collided with someone from the low exclamation that reached her ears and the dark shadow cast in front of her eyes.
“Sian?”
When she raised her head, there was a shining face at a much higher eye level. A face as handsome as a sculpture suddenly thrust itself into Sian’s vision, which had been submerged in pitch-black thoughts. It felt like she had suddenly regained her lost sight.
“Carl.”
“What were you thinking about so deeply?”
As if he had completely forgotten about their conversation in the temple’s reception room, Carl smiled brightly and asked upon seeing Sian.
Is this an illusion?
Sian gaped blankly, thinking about Carl’s expression that was so nonchalant, bright, and even kind.
Since when has that man been looking at me with such kind eyes?
It was something she hadn’t realized until now.
‘It’s not that I want to have you to know you, but that I want to know you because I want to have you.’
Suddenly, she vividly recalled what Carl had said once with serious eyes of a man. Had Carl been looking at her with such eyes then too? She couldn’t remember.
However, the emotions that had been suppressed by various memories she wanted to forget suddenly surged hot all at once.
“…Oh my.”
Tears welled up. Feeling her eyes getting hot and wet, Sian let out a low exclamation, surprised at herself.
“Huh?”
Carl made a startled sound.
“What’s this, sis? Are you crying right now?”
Sian, also surprised, quickly lowered her head.
“No, I’m not.”
How silly. Sian thought as she wiped away her tears. Nevertheless, for some reason, the tears that had burst out before she even felt sadness didn’t stop falling.
Carl looked around once at Sian and once at the surroundings with a very bewildered face, unable to settle down. There was no one nearby, but it was still in the middle of a cloister. Anyone passing by could appear at any time.
“…Come here.”
Clicking his tongue lightly, Carl grabbed Sian’s arm and pulled her towards somewhere. She could have refused to follow. But Sian didn’t even have the presence of mind to refuse.
Above all, she was perplexed because she couldn’t understand at all why she was crying. It made her even more so because she couldn’t even remember when she had last cried.
Unlike Sian, who couldn’t find her way around, Carl seemed familiar with the temple. After crossing the cloister and turning a few corners, a garden appeared.
It was a different place from the garden with Yggdrasil’s tree. Much smaller, and open to everyone. There was a bench beyond a small path.
“I’ll bring something to wipe with. Wait a moment.”
Carl guided Sian there, made her sit, and spoke in an equally kind voice. Sian nodded her head slightly up and down with her head deeply bowed. Once started, the tears fell incessantly.
She heard the sound of Carl’s footsteps disappearing back the way they had come. Since her vision was blurry and she wouldn’t be able to see properly anyway, Sian didn’t look at Carl’s retreating figure.
Unlike the place where Yggdrasil’s tree was, there was no wind in this garden. There were no sounds of insects or birds that should naturally accompany a lush place. There was only perfect silence.
The stillness in a garden bathed in sunlight was unusual. The absolute quietness, where not even the sound of leaves rustling could be heard, was strange, but it felt very stable to Sian at the moment.
“…Hic.”
Far from stopping, the tears finally turned into sobs. Sian no longer held back and cried her heart out.
