Chapter 19
Solitaria couldn’t say anything to his answer. She just ate breakfast and went to her lesson. When they parted, Heinrich said he would come pick her up later and left cleanly.
“This is strange.”
“What’s strange?”
“Ah!”
Rienna clapped her hands to get Solitaria’s attention.
“I gave you time to rest yesterday, so why can’t you focus? If you keep walking like that, you’ll trip.”
“Oh, sorry.”
Only then did Solitaria realize what she was doing and started walking in time with Rienna’s claps.
* * *
After that day, Rienna assigned Solitaria an enormous amount of homework, just as she had warned.
Because of that, Solitaria no longer had time to think about Heinrich. Maybe that was a good thing.
“Ha, should I be grateful to my teacher?”
She was so busy she couldn’t dwell on her swirling feelings. Except for when she met Heinrich, her wild heart had finally calmed down. Maybe this was better for Solitaria.
“Are you busy again today?”
“Yes, I think I’ll have to finish my homework in the library. Please have dinner. I’ll be here working.”
“You can’t skip dinner.”
Heinrich scolded her sternly and leaned in close to Solitaria’s face.
Solitaria instinctively tried to step back, but her back was already against the wall. There was nowhere to escape.
“Okay, okay. I’ll eat dinner. I’ll eat and then work, so could you just back… ”
“Look at me.”
“Why? I have to eat dinner and then I have things to do.”
Solitaria avoided his gaze, not wanting to meet his eyes. Heinrich seemed to misunderstand and frowned slightly.
“I thought it would be better to keep some distance, so I even started sleeping separately. What are you unhappy about now?”
“I’m not unhappy.”
“Then why won’t you look at me?”
“At what?”
Solitaria didn’t like the heavy air between them. Whenever things got like this, the outcome was always unexpected.
As she wondered how to escape, Heinrich lifted her chin.
“No running away.”
“…”
“No turning into a rabbit either. If you do, I’ll turn into a wolf and bite your butt.”
It wasn’t even a funny threat. Solitaria glared at him.
“I’m not running. Satisfied? Now please back off.”
“Not satisfied. Why have you been acting like this lately?”
She was tired of his silly threats and her own swirling feelings. Her eyes turned sharp for a moment.
He was always so relaxed, he’d never understand. How her heart churned every time she faced him.
“Can’t you just leave me alone?”
“What?”
“I know my awkward place here. Why do you keep making things hard for me when I’m just quietly putting up with your games?”
Heinrich didn’t react much to her harsh words. Solitaria, looking straight into his sunken eyes, muttered softly.
“I should have been saved by another beastkin.”
A heavy silence fell. Solitaria quickly covered her mouth. But the words were already out, and it was only natural that Heinrich heard them.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I didn’t know you felt that way.”
It was a side of Heinrich she’d never seen before. Since coming to Hirupus, she’d never seen him look like that.
He looked cold and somehow hurt. Solitaria felt she should explain that wasn’t what she meant, but she just closed her mouth.
Heinrich shook his head and gave a bitter smile.
“I guess I deserve it. I’m just putting up with it.”
He ran a hand over his forehead and stepped away from Solitaria.
“This sucks.”
“That’s not what I meant…”
“I’ll tell James to bring your dinner to the library. Eat there. It’ll be easier. I won’t come. Stay with Raon.”
Even to the end, he only said things to worry about her.
Heinrich walked away with long strides before she could stop him. His usual leisurely walk was nowhere to be seen.
He looked like he was running away, like he wanted to hide.
Solitaria was always the one running, but this time it was the opposite. She clutched the book in her arms and muttered,
“I really do need to keep my distance.”
Getting closer to him had caused all this. She’d never even dreamed of rebelling, but now that she’d learned to say “no” and “I don’t want to,” she ended up hurting the one person she shouldn’t.
When she saved Heinrich, she made a few promises to herself.
Not to hide her feelings. To express her thoughts clearly.
But none of those promises included “hurting Heinrich.”
If anything, she only ever wanted him to be happy.
But Solitaria didn’t even realize that. She just sighed and tried to think of a way to run away from this situation. This time, not chasing after him was her way of running.
After standing there thinking for a while, she looked at Raon behind her and smiled. It was a smile with not a trace of sincerity.
Just like the smile she used to wear before saving Heinrich, as if she were a stranger lost in an unfamiliar place.
“Ah, let’s go. We should head straight to the library.”
Raon gave a bitter smile as he watched her walk away so bravely. He understood both Heinrich and Solitaria, which made it even more painful.
For four years, there hadn’t been any big problems while Heinrich didn’t realize Solitaria was his companion. But the process of him realizing it was pretty awful, so Raon understood why Heinrich was so sensitive about her health and safety. Everyone who watched them knew.
Heinrich was just following his instincts to protect his companion. Solitaria, who always took a step back when he took a step forward, was what annoyed him.
But Solitaria didn’t know any of this.
She didn’t know why Heinrich brought her here, why he let her win even when it wasn’t like him, or why he cared so much and wanted her by his side. Solitaria didn’t really know anything.
And she hadn’t learned the things she should have from her parents, so there was no way she could understand or accept all of his clumsy actions.
Raon had once thought about stepping in because he was frustrated by their tangled relationship. But he knew his actions could backfire, so the best he could do was keep things from getting too bad between them.
Heinrich, who knew everything, and Solitaria, who knew nothing.
Heinrich, who had the powerful background of Hirupus, and Solitaria, who had no family and was abandoned by her parents.
The greatest wolf on the continent, and the penniless, lowly rabbit.
It was only natural that Raon cared so much about Solitaria, after watching and investigating everything.
He stuck close behind Solitaria as she hurried down the hall, starting to chatter cluelessly.
He hoped that with his silly talk, she could relax for a moment, let out her feelings, and find a little freedom from the childhood that had trapped her.
“Let’s go together. If I let you go alone, I’ll get in trouble. I got scolded last time when you suddenly locked the door. How did you come up with all that in such a short time? No matter how I look at it, you’re a once-in-a-century genius, Miss.”
“Really?”
Thanks to Raon’s chatter, the quiet hallway became lively again.
“Yes, how did a genius like you end up at Hirupus? You should be flying free in a much bigger world. But when you become independent, you have to take me with you.”
“You used to tell me not to even dream of independence and to stay by Master’s side.”
“You still remember that? Forget it. I support your independence now.”
At Raon’s joke, Solitaria smiled.
Her smile felt strange, so she rubbed her lips. No matter how many times she rubbed, the corners of her mouth wouldn’t go down.
“Why are you smiling? I mean it! I’d do fine even if you left me in a stable or something.”
“Pfft, really?”
“Ah, was that too much? I’d be fine with even a tiny room. I’m good at hunting. Maybe I should learn foraging, too? Can you imagine a wolf lying down picking herbs? Wouldn’t that be funny?”
Solitaria burst out laughing at his words.
Once she started, she couldn’t stop. Soon, tears welled up in her drooping eyes.
“Ah… haha. It’s just, it’s just too funny.”
So this is what it is.
“It’s just too funny. How can I erase what I heard? And why would a wolf look for herbs?”
She told herself she was crying because she was laughing so hard. She was laughing so much her stomach hurt, that’s why she was crying.
“Hic… Hic. How, it’s just, it’s too funny. Sir Raon, aren’t you laughing?”
Her face was all twisted up as she said it. The corners of her mouth were high, but her eyes looked as dark as the sea.
Even so, she kept muttering to herself that she was crying because it was funny. Sitting in the hallway, sobbing, she told Raon it was just because she laughed too much. He waited for her in silence.
It was the only comfort he could give.
* * *
After a long time, Solitaria finally brushed herself off and stood up as if nothing had happened.
