Chapter 16
Solitaria gave up struggling and let herself be held in his arms. She had always thought she would have to become independent someday, but she felt she could only do it after he became more stable and found a real companion, not just a fake one.
For now, even this awkward relationship felt comfortable to Solitaria. As her thoughts kept circling, she realized that leaving this place someday would make her quite sad. The more she thought about it, the more reasons she found for that sadness.
Being far from him. Becoming nothing to each other. Not being able to see him anymore.
When she got that far in her thoughts, Solitaria’s mood suddenly soured.
Her heart had been unsettled lately, and now she was even more annoyed to be worrying about things like this. That was why she blurted out something she didn’t really mean.
“Or, when you get a real companion someday, should I stay by your side and take care of her? It wouldn’t be much different from serving you now. You’d feel comfortable, and I wouldn’t have to think about independence or living alone.”
With a start, Heinrich grabbed her shoulders and pushed her away. The look on his face was strangely urgent and upset.
“What are you talking about.”
Oh, she’d never seen that face before.
Solitaria was flustered. He looked like he might actually cry.
A long silence stretched between them. If Raon hadn’t shown up just then, Heinrich really might have cried on the spot.
He quickly composed himself and put on his usual face, smiling as if nothing had happened.
“Ahem. What were we talking about? Oh, the teacher will be soon. No, wait, independence. That’s not happening.”
A jumble of words spilled out. Heinrich must have realized it too, because he paused and took a deep breath. Then he tried again, more calmly.
Of course, there was no mention of a companion in his words. Solitaria hesitated, wondering if she should ask, but decided to keep her mouth shut.
She didn’t know what of her words had set him off, but it looked like a storm of emotions was swirling inside him, ready to explode at any second.
Heinrich’s golden eyes sparkled as the sunlight hit them. Solitaria found herself stepping back. He didn’t seem to like that, because he lifted one corner of his mouth.
Then, as if to show her how pointless her retreat was, he gently grabbed her waist and pulled her close. Flustered, Solitaria pushed at his chest and shouted,
“What are you doing?”
“What?”
The teary-eyed Heinrich from a moment ago was gone. Now he was smiling sweetly. Seeing that, Solitaria felt her heart drop with a thud.
Sweat gathered on her fingertips. Her heart pounded in her ears. It felt like her tongue and lips were paralyzed by magic, and his face was so dazzling she couldn’t look at him straight.
It started that day.
Her eyes would sting whenever she looked at Heinrich. She became hyper-aware of everything he did.
And maybe he noticed the change in her, because Heinrich started acting even bolder. So much that even clueless Solitaria could feel it.
* * *
She didn’t know how many days it had been. Heinrich acted like a beastkin who had no intention of leaving Solitaria’s room.
“…Again tonight?”
“What is?”
“You know what I mean. If you’re going to keep doing this, why not just move your stuff in?”
“Should I?”
“You know I don’t mean that!”
Heinrich slept in Solitaria’s room every night, wearing pajamas or even just light clothes.
He had his own room!
At least he didn’t get into her bed, so maybe she should be grateful for that.
Solitaria couldn’t shake the feeling that things kept going his way. She knew she’d changed lately, but with Heinrich acting like this too, it was hard to think straight.
In the end, Solitaria pulled out her secret weapon.
“I’m going to tell Madam Sophia everything.”
“Now? But you can’t go out.”
Heinrich stood confidently by the door and replied calmly. Solitaria shivered in frustration, then gave up and sat on the bed.
“…Fine, just turn off the lights.”
“Now you’re ordering your master to turn off the lights?”
“You’re my master, but you’re also my companion.”
She said the words “companion” out loud for the first time since she’d gotten that title. It wasn’t because Heinrich wanted her to, but because she wanted to.
Heinrich stared at her in shock, his face frozen. He didn’t even open his mouth, just sighed and ran a hand over his forehead. Solitaria, worried, moved closer to him.
She placed her small hand on his forehead and then on the back of his neck, checking if he had a fever or was sick.
“What’s wrong? Even if you’re healthy, you’ll catch a cold sleeping on the floor. I knew this would happen. Let’s go see Dr. Leo right now.”
“I’m not sick.”
“Really? No… you do have a fever.”
“If I say I have a fever, will you let me sleep in your bed?”
Heinrich took her hand and pressed it to his cheek, his eyes drooping. Just as she was about to say yes, Solitaria hesitated. Sensing her doubt, Heinrich looked at her with teary eyes.
Was he really asking if she couldn’t let him?
Solitaria, not realizing his tears were fake, let out a deep sigh and trudged back to the bed. She took a pillow and placed it in the middle.
“Don’t cross this line.”
“What if I do?”
Somehow, Heinrich had already come close to her, and there was no trace of tears in his eyes. Solitaria stared at him blankly for a moment, then snapped back to her senses and thought it over.
Would it really matter if he crossed the line? Did it mean anything? But seeing the sparkle in his eyes, she couldn’t shake the feeling she was walking into a wolf’s den.
After much thought, Solitaria gave her answer.
“…If you cross it, I’ll kick you right off the bed.”
It was a very Solitaria-like answer. At her words, Heinrich turned away and his shoulders shook.
“Don’t underestimate rabbits.”
“I never have.”
He cleared his throat and turned back, but his eyebrows were still twitching. Solitaria could tell he wanted to laugh, but she didn’t want to give him the satisfaction, so she flopped onto the bed.
She tossed the blanket over the pillow and spoke firmly.
“Only use this blanket. And don’t cross the line.”
Heinrich nodded. His innocent eyes and easy agreement made her suspicious, so she warned him several more times, but Heinrich just kept nodding.
Solitaria was mistaken. She thought as long as he didn’t cross the line, everything would be fine. But that wasn’t the problem.
Through the darkness, she could hear Heinrich’s soft footsteps, the sound of him getting onto the bed, and the blanket rustling as he moved.
But the biggest problem was her own heartbeat, pounding louder than anything else.
She tossed and turned, trying to hide the sound, and ended up locking eyes with Heinrich beside her. In the darkness, his eyes, nose, and lips were clear as day.
Maybe she stared too long. Heinrich turned his head and looked right at her.
“Ah.”
Caught by the golden eyes flickering in the darkness, Solitaria couldn’t look away.
She felt breathless, her chest fluttered, and then a sudden wave of emotion welled up inside her. Heinrich seemed to sense her mood and slowly blinked.
The feeling was too much for Solitaria, so she squeezed her eyes shut.
“Why won’t you look at me?”
“Don’t cross the line.”
“I haven’t.”
“Just close your eyes and sleep. You said you weren’t feeling well.”
“I’m fine now. But I can hear your heartbeat.”
The darkness hid the blush burning on her face, but it couldn’t hide her pounding heart and ragged breathing.
Solitaria clamped her mouth shut, insisting she couldn’t hear anything. Heinrich sighed and asked if she really couldn’t hear it.
“…”
“Can’t you hear it?”
“It’s going to burst.”
No one said who, but it was clear who they meant.
“Right, it’s because of you.”
“…!”
Her eyes flew open at his words. Because of her? What did he mean? But Solitaria didn’t have the courage to ask.
Heinrich didn’t push her for an answer, just closed his mouth so she could hear his heartbeat.
His answer and her question were swallowed by the darkness, but it was enough to leave a question in both their hearts.
* * *
With the warm sunlight, Solitaria rolled over and tried to get up.
But unlike usual, she felt something hard instead of a soft blanket, and it puzzled her.
‘Why is it so hard…’
Thump, thump. The steady sound filled her ears, so Solitaria brought her ear closer.
‘What is this sound?’
She remembered Heinrich had gotten into her bed last night, and she’d squeezed her eyes shut when things got weird… She didn’t like this situation.
She didn’t even need to look to know what she was touching.
As Solitaria fumbled and tried to deny reality, Heinrich wondered if he should let her know he was awake, watching her flustered head.
He wiggled his lips and hands, then couldn’t help but laugh as he watched her freeze up.
At the sound of his laughter, Solitaria snapped out of it and jerked away from him.
