Chapter 29
Chapter 29
As far as I knew, only mages formally trained in the magical kingdom of Hayton were able to use magic. That’s why it made absolutely no sense that Calix, who had never received such training, was able to use magic.
‘What is this?’
What on earth was going on?
My mind was in a whirl as I stared at him in a daze.
“I… learned it a long time ago.”
“A long time ago?”
“Yes. A very long time ago…”
Calix answered, his gaze fixed on me with an unreadable expression.
“Sigh…”
Just then, I heard him let out a deep breath.
‘Ah.’
What was I doing?
No matter how curious I was, what was I thinking, letting my thoughts wander while someone sick was lying right in front of me?
Shaking myself out of it, I forced my mind to clear. Only then did I really take in the man before me, groaning in pain and drenched in cold sweat. His flushed face and weary expression showed how badly he was suffering.
“Calix, you’re soaked in sweat. We really should call the royal physician—”
As I started to suggest it again, he shook his head.
“I’ll be… fine soon. As long as you’re here, I’ll be okay…”
He gave a faint smile, as if trying to reassure me.
How could just having me nearby make him feel better?
It didn’t make any sense, and yet watching him say such nonsense made something swell up inside me, tight and aching, as if I might cry at any moment.
“…What if you don’t get better?”
Trying not to let him notice my trembling voice, I asked in a slightly reproachful tone.
“…Then I’ll listen to you.”
“…Fine. Okay.”
I let out a resigned sigh and decided to go along with him for now.
Seemingly pleased with my response, Calix gently pulled my hand toward him and pressed lips that were hotter than usual to the back of it. Only then did he finally let go of my wrist, which he’d been holding like he’d never release it.
“You should really change out of those damp clothes. You might get worse if you stay in them.”
I fidgeted with the hand he’d been holding and glanced around the room. He had gripped my wrist firmly, but not hard enough to hurt. That wasn’t why I was touching it now.
It was just… the moment his warmth left me, I was seized by a strange sense of loss.
‘Why am I thinking like this when he’s sick?’
Snapping myself back to focus, I dragged a chair closer to the bed. I took a handkerchief from the pocket sewn into the inside of my dress and reached toward his face.
I could feel Calix’s heated gaze following my every movement, but I pretended not to notice and went about my task.
Starting from his forehead, I carefully wiped the sweat from his face, then gently dabbed the moisture along his long, slender neck. Next was his body. But to do that, I’d have to remove his shirt.
He’d taken off my clothes before, but I’d never undressed him. Perhaps that’s why a wave of awkwardness hit me, and I hesitated to reach for the buttons.
‘He’s sick.’
This isn’t about anything else. I’m doing this for someone who’s ill.
Steadying myself, I slowly began unfastening his shirt, one button at a time. Once all the buttons were undone and the shirt opened to either side, his bare chest came into view.
I did my best not to look, focusing instead on easing his arms out of the sleeves.
“Calix, can you lift your right arm a bit?”
At my request, his arm rose slightly.
“Just a moment.”
The shirt was so damp with sweat that it was difficult to remove, so I leaned in a little closer.
“Could you turn just a bit?”
Giving instructions to minimize his movement, I carefully helped him undress. But because of our difference in size, I ended up almost in his arms.
Even so, I stayed focused and continued removing his shirt until I suddenly felt warm breath against the nape of my neck.
“Haa…”
Was I pressing down on him too much?
Startled, I quickly pulled back and looked at him with concern.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I make it harder for you? Calix, are you okay?”
“…No.”
“You’re not? Are you feeling worse? Should I call the royal physician right away—?”
“That’s… not it.”
“What?”
I stared at him in confusion as he said something I couldn’t make sense of. Then he suddenly let out a soft chuckle.
The fact that he could laugh suggested he wasn’t doing too badly, but… I still didn’t get it. As I stood there trying to figure him out, I saw his eyes move downward then slowly lift again.
So I followed his gaze.
‘Ah…’
Why… But… he’s sick.
How could he be reacting like that when he’s supposed to be unwell? And what had I done?
All I’d done was touch him briefly to remove his shirt.
Staring down at him, utterly dumbfounded, I saw that, as always, he looked completely unashamed of his condition.
“Take the rest off.”
As the atmosphere started to turn strange, I forced myself to act as if everything was normal, quickly pulling the rest of his shirt off with renewed urgency.
Then I picked up the handkerchief and took his arm, thicker than my thigh, solid with muscle, and began wiping away the sweat. Once I’d finished with his arms, I took a brief moment to catch my breath.
He had improved a lot, but my stamina wasn’t great to begin with, and the task had left me drained. Still, I had already started, and I wanted to see it through.
So I moved my hand toward his chest, but the moment I did, an odd tension rushed in. Just a minute ago, I’d been completely fine.
‘There’s nothing to be nervous about.’
He’s a sick man. The person in front of me is someone who’s ill.
I repeated that over and over in my head, trying to calm myself down. If Calix hadn’t reacted like that earlier, I probably would’ve finished everything without a second thought.
I silently blamed him and tried to steel my nerves.
After a few moments, the turmoil inside me began to settle a little.
Afraid it might rise again, I quickly wiped down from his collarbone, to his chest, abs, and flanks in swift strokes. I heard him breathing heavily above me, perhaps because my touch was too stimulating, but I ignored it as best I could.
Finally, once I’d wiped everything down to his waist, I pulled the blanket over him. I would’ve helped with his lower body if I could, but that was simply too much.
At least I’d taken care of the upper half, I told myself, placing the now-drenched handkerchief on the table.
‘That was exhausting.’
Wiping down a grown man, especially one with a build like his, was far more work than I’d expected. Straightening my back, which had been bent the whole time, I barely caught my breath before looking down at him and saying,
“Try to get some sleep now.”
Even then, his eyes never left me, burning with an intense gaze. There was a raw hunger in his look, one that was clearly directed at me. But what he needed most right now was rest.
So I ignored that gaze and gently urged him to sleep.
“…I can’t fall asleep.”
“Even if you can’t sleep, you have to try. Your body needs rest. Come on, close your eyes.”
I tried coaxing him like a child who refused to sleep, but he only kept staring at me stubbornly.
“Calix. You need to sleep.”
“…”
Even after I repeated myself, he still didn’t close his eyes.
“You’re not going to sleep?”
“…I’m scared.”
“What?”
Scared? Of what?
Puzzled by his sudden words, I asked, and after a long pause, he finally spoke.
“When I close my eyes… it feels like you’ll disappear.”
For once, he didn’t hide his anxiety as he said it.
“I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right here.”
“I know. And still… I’m afraid.”
Even though he knew I wouldn’t leave, he was still afraid.
Where did that fear come from?
Come to think of it, aside from one single time, he had never let me wake up before him. And even that one time, it was still early dawn, not morning. So technically, I had never once woken before him.
Whether it was early or late, I always woke up alone in bed.
‘Don’t tell me he’s been staying up all night watching me sleep?’
Is he afraid I’ll disappear while he’s asleep? That he’ll wake up and I’ll be gone? Why? What on earth is he afraid of?
His behavior only left me with more questions, but I set them aside for now. Right now, more than getting answers, what he needed was reassurance.
I sat down at the edge of the bed and gently took his hand.
“I’ll hold your hand while you sleep. That should help, right?”
“…”
The hand I held gripped mine tightly in return, but he didn’t say a word.
……
T/N: I feel like Calix knew what happened in the past… I’m 45% sure 😁
