Chapter 21
When I nodded without thinking, he gave me a brief kiss on the forehead before moving again right away. And as soon as we returned to the Empress’s Palace, he rushed at me with such urgency that it was hard to believe he was ever the composed man he usually was.
As always, I couldn’t escape his arms throughout the night.
* * *
After Allen departed for the southern border, I took his place and went to the Imperial Princess’s Palace to throw out the withered flowers and replace them with fresh ones. Although obtaining flowers was said to be difficult, it wasn’t all that hard with my status as Empress.
If I hadn’t known about Allen’s actions from the start, maybe I could’ve ignored it, but once I knew, pretending I didn’t left me uneasy and unsettled.
I had never met the Princess myself. Everything I knew about her came from Ariel’s memories. But in those memories, Princess Isabella had cared for Ariel like a younger sister.
‘I should think of this as repaying her for looking after little Ariel.’
With that thought in mind, I began stopping by the Princess’s Palace with flowers before heading to the library each day. This morning was no different. I was eating breakfast, slightly tired as usual.
I was no longer the Ariel who felt full after just a few bites. Now, I was steadily working my way through each dish in front of me with delight.
“Your Imperial Highness, please try this one too.”
My nanny brought over a dish that had been placed a little far away. It was meat, clearly, but marinated in something unfamiliar I hadn’t seen anything like it since arriving here.
“What is it?”
“It’s lamb marinated in a spice called pao. I heard it’s absolutely delicious.”
“Lamb?”
“Yes. Try it quickly. Once pao sprouts, it becomes toxic in less than a week, so it can only be harvested a few days a year. If not now, you won’t get another chance.”
Despite her explanation, I thought, Well, meat is meat, and popped a piece into my mouth.
But…
‘What… is this?’
Even before I chewed, the flavor of the spice that hit my tongue was far beyond what I had imagined. With each bite, the savory juices of the meat mingled with a sweetness, a pleasant saltiness, and a gentle spiciness that lingered in my mouth.
I quickly picked up another piece and ate it.
“How is it? Does it suit your taste?”
It didn’t just suit my taste; it was unbelievably delicious.
“It’s amazing.”
“Really? I’m glad to hear that.”
“Yeah. It’s so good. You have to try it too!”
I gestured eagerly at my nanny, eyes shining with delight.
“Oh, no. I’m fine.”
“Come on, try it. You haven’t had it before, right?”
“I’m fine, really. Maybe next time.”
When she firmly refused, looking flustered, I grabbed a piece of meat with my fork and held it out to her.
“Here. Just one bite, please!”
As I insisted, she finally gave in and opened her mouth. Smiling, I watched her take the bite, and soon her expression changed just like mine had earlier.
“It’s good, right?”
“Yes. It’s truly delicious.”
“Want more? I can share!”
“No, thank you. You eat it, Your Imperial Highness.”
“Promise me you’ll eat more later, okay?”
“Yes, I will.”
With that promise, I resumed eating.
“You’ve really changed, you know.”
“…Huh?”
But not even a minute later, I froze as if my heart had dropped.
“W-What?”
Caught off guard and flustered, I stumbled over my words.
Fortunately, I kept my head low, pretending to focus on the food so she couldn’t see my reaction.
“You enjoy your meals now, and you seem more motivated in general.”
“…Really? Have I changed that much?”
I’d tried so hard not to raise suspicion. Was it all in vain? Swallowing the lump in my throat, I forced out a response.
“Yes. But to me, it feels like the young lady I knew has returned. It makes me happy.”
“…Huh?”
Surprised, I looked up at her with a blank expression. She was smiling warmly at me.
“Before you entered the palace… Ah, forgive me. I got carried away with emotion and started rambling…”
“No, it’s fine. I just don’t remember ever being like that…”
I quickly brushed it off and let out a quiet breath of relief. Judging by her reaction, she didn’t seem suspicious about the change in me.
“Yes, I suppose it’s been a long time. But Your Imperial Highness… no, Lady Ariel, please don’t ever forget. I’ll always be by your side. I’ll stay with you until the end.”
She looked straight at me as she spoke. Her eyes were filled with affection and unwavering determination. That expression made my chest tighten, and emotions surged inside me. At the same time, a memory from the novel flashed through my mind.
‘What happened to the nanny afterward…?’
Ah…
She tried to take the blame in Ariel’s place. But because Ariel confessed, the plan failed, and after Ariel’s death, she took her own life. She had kept her promise to stay by Ariel’s side to the end.
“Thank you. But… No. Just… thank you. Always.”
Tears welled in my eyes. I lowered my head and picked up my spoon again.
I wanted to tell her not to do it this time. But I stayed quiet, afraid my voice would tremble if I said more.
‘This time will be different.’
Yes. This time, it will be different. No one will die, no one will grieve. We’ll find a way to reach a happy ending. When that time comes, just as I’ll find freedom, I’ll make sure to give it to her too.
With that resolve in my heart, I finished my meal. Then, as always, I got dressed and headed to the library.
“Hmm, what should I read today?”
Thanks to my persistence in reading those dull, dry books, I now had a decent grasp of the Roimann Empire’s history and the general knowledge of this world. The foundation was set. Now it was time to build on it.
As I browsed through the shelves wondering what to read next, a book caught my eye. Its size made it stick out from the others. I had to get on my tiptoes just to barely reach it, stretching as far as I could.
But just as I managed to pull it out…
“Ah, no!”
I lost my grip on the corner, and the book fell with a thud to the floor. At the same moment, it flipped open, and a flicker of black light shimmered briefly before vanishing.
“…Huh?”
What was that? Had I imagined it?
It happened so quickly I wasn’t sure. Tilting my head, I picked up the book. It was larger than I expected, so I hugged it to my chest and sat down with it.
There was writing on the cover, but in a language I didn’t recognize.
“What kind of book is this?”
Given the title, the contents were probably in the same language, meaning I wouldn’t be able to read it. Still, my curiosity was piqued. My hands moved faster than my thoughts and opened it.
‘Just as I thought, I have no idea what this says.’
Strange letters filled the pages, along with incomprehensible illustrations. There was no way I could decipher it. Even so, I flipped through a few pages, trying to get a sense of what kind of book it was, but quickly gave up when curiosity faded.
‘Guess I’ll read something else.’
I closed the book and returned to the stacks.
The rest of the day passed just like any other. I read in the library until dusk, then returned to the Empress’s Palace. After dinner, I rested a bit and got ready for bed.
And, just like always, I waited for Calix until I couldn’t stay awake anymore and drifted off. But…
What I experienced wasn’t just a dream. It was a dream unlike any I’d had before.
Until now, I had never been Ariel in my dreams. Aside from the first time I came here and shared her memories, I was always myself.
The ‘me’ from before I came here. Sitting around the table with my family, having drinks with friends after work – those ordinary dreams had helped me endure the homesickness.
But tonight, I was nowhere to be found.
In the dream, I was Ariel, and everything she had gone through played out again and again.
‘Ah… Calix?’
And at the end of the dream…
He was there, a face I’d never seen before. He looked at me with unfamiliar eyes, like a stranger, like someone who no longer cared for me. He didn’t seem like the Calix I knew.
Calix, don’t go.
Whether my emotions had merged with Ariel’s or not, desperation welled up inside me as I tried to reach for him, but my voice didn’t reach.
Calix, please!
No matter how many times I called, he kept getting farther away. Beside him stood a woman, breathtakingly beautiful.
Tears streamed down my cheeks, falling without end. There was nothing I could do but cry.
All I could do was watch helplessly as he faded from view.
……
T/N: Someone turned back time? 🤔
