Chapter 20
I kept my expression as neutral as possible, deliberately meeting his gaze as if to suggest that any hint of embarrassment was just his imagination. Thankfully, he resumed walking, taking steps forward again.
“Why did you go there?”
I gave him the exact answer I had prepared in case he asked.
“I had a sudden dream about the time I lived there.”
“A dream?”
“Yes. I spent a long time there, so many things happened. I met you there too, Calix. I just… dreamed of when I was a child.”
At that, he stopped walking again.
Then, turning my shoulders toward him, he came to face me directly. His sudden action caught me off guard, but I did my best to hide it and simply stood still, letting him do as he pleased.
“That’s right. We met there.”
“Yes, we did.”
I echoed his words and looked up at him. His eyes shimmered with something tender, as if he were reliving a deeply cherished memory. Maybe my response had stirred up too many emotions in him.
Watching him lost in reminiscence, I, too, recalled scenes from the story in my head.
“Now that I think about it, when we first met, you were taller than me.”
There was something oddly stirring about the way he tried to find traces of the young Ariel in who I was now. It reminded me of the moment he first said he loved me.
But I didn’t let any of that show on my face. By now, I’d grown used enough to life here that I could keep my feelings and actions separate.
“Well, now you’re much taller than me, Calix.”
And pretending to be Ariel had become a lot easier.
“Every time we met again, you’d grown more. First you were up to my shoulders, then to my head, and eventually you surpassed me completely. After that, you just kept getting taller until it was hard to even look up at you.”
I gestured with one hand, raising and lowering it to compare our heights.
“True. While I kept growing, you barely seemed to change at all.”
He let out a small laugh at my gesture, then added in a teasing tone,
“Maybe I’m just too tall.”
I shot him a mock glare, puffing my cheeks in exaggerated annoyance, and suddenly realized: wasn’t this the first time we’d had such a casual conversation?
‘Yeah… People can’t be serious all the time. There should be days like this too.’
The thought made me feel unexpectedly lighthearted, like maybe we could get through this evening without incident. The tension melted from my eyes, and a hum escaped my lips before I even realized.
“…Are you in a good mood?”
He looked at me with mild confusion, just a moment ago I’d been glaring, and now I was humming.
“Huh? Oh. Yeah, I am. Can’t we take walks like this sometimes at night?”
I didn’t bother hiding my good mood and simply shifted the topic. Only after saying it did I realize it might be a really good idea. If we did this more often, maybe those intimate nights would happen less often too.
“If that’s what you want.”
“Really? Thank you, Calix!”
The moment he said yes, I silently cheered.
‘Perfect. Why didn’t I think of this sooner?’
Well, no matter. I thought of it now, and that’s good enough. No point regretting what’s already past.
Maybe because I was in such a good mood, I even started swinging our joined hands back and forth.
I felt him grip my hand a little tighter. His large, warm hand wrapped around mine, and I looked up at him with a smile.
But the hope I’d just felt, that things might change between us, vanished in an instant when I caught that all-too-familiar look in his eyes.
‘No… don’t tell me…’
And before I could even think further, his face leaned in, and his lips caught mine.
“Mmph!”
His lips were nothing like his gentle gaze, fierce and unrelenting. I squeezed my eyes shut. His tongue explored every corner of my mouth, tracing my teeth and scraping the roof of my mouth with no pause, drawing out a heat from deep within that left me breathless.
I lost myself completely in that dizzying kiss, not knowing what to do or how to stop. Only after a long while did he finally pull away.
“…Haa.”
“…Haa…”
With my eyes still closed, I tried to steady my breath and calm the heat that surged through me. As my breathing slowly returned to normal and the heat began to fade, I opened my eyes slightly.
We were still so close that our lips were nearly touching again.
At some point, I had unconsciously wrapped my arms around him, and now our bodies were pressed so tightly together not even a sheet of paper could slip between us. I could feel every inch of his firm body.
And…
“Ariel.”
Just the way he said my name told me exactly what he wanted.
‘Seriously…’
I sighed inwardly and steadied my heart. There was no avoiding it.
If I couldn’t escape it, I might as well accept it.
‘So much for just a nighttime walk.’
Resigned, I tightened my arms around his neck.
Taking that as permission, he lifted me into his arms, just like he had in the library, and strode forward without hesitation. Unlike that day, when I had tried desperately to wriggle free, this time I let him carry me without resistance.
This place had belonged to just the two of us for a while now, and with only the moon shining down, the rest of the world was swallowed in darkness. The only ones who knew where we were were the distant attendants and maids waiting far behind us.
‘Right. I should conserve my energy.’
Just as he’d said on the way from the library to the Empress’s palace, if I wanted to survive tonight, I needed to save my strength. And, as always, his arms were incredibly comfortable. Not the slightest bit of unsteadiness.
While lost in such thoughts, I suddenly lifted my head.
The dark night sky filled my vision.
“Calix.”
Still gazing upward, I softly called his name. He lowered his eyes to meet mine, waiting patiently, as if to say, Go on. Say it.
“You know… the stars don’t show well here.”
“The stars?”
He paused mid-step, surprised by the sudden comment.
“Yeah. I think it’s because the moonlight is too strong.”
They weren’t completely invisible. A few scattered ones peeked through, but not the kind of dazzling, star-filled sky I had hoped to see.
“Do you like stars?”
“Mm, yes. I do.”
Just as I told him, I loved watching the stars. Something about the tiny lights scattered across the dark sky gave me a sense of peace I couldn’t explain.
That’s why I often sought out places where I could see lots of stars.
Come to think of it, this was the first time I’d looked at the night sky since coming here. I’d been exhausted every day, overwhelmed, and barely had a moment of peace.
‘Well… I still don’t, really.’
“Have you heard of a village called Crenet?”
“Crenet?”
Neither I nor Ariel had ever heard of the name.
“No, never.”
“It’s a small village in the north. Let’s go there together sometime.”
“…What?”
His sudden suggestion caught me completely off guard.
“When I was dispatched to the northern battlefield, I spent a night there.”
“In Crenet?”
He nodded.
“I think you’ll be able to see the kind of stars you like there. As many as you want.”
Ah. So that’s why he wants to take me there.
But…
‘We won’t get to go together anyway.’
Time was passing, however slowly, and the day I would leave this place wasn’t far off. I’ll just go alone once I leave the palace.
Now that I knew the name and location, finding it wouldn’t be hard. It would be a long journey, but I had nothing but time ahead of me, so I wasn’t too worried.
“Yes. Let’s definitely go together, Calix.”
I smiled brightly, lying without blinking an eye. Then I turned my gaze back to the sky, trying to find stars that were barely visible.
‘One… two… three…’
As I silently counted, expecting him to start walking again at any moment, I realized he was still standing still. Puzzled, I looked back at him, his intense gaze pierced through the darkness.
“Calix?”
The moment I cautiously called his name, something must have triggered in him again. I watched as his face slowly descended toward mine.
“W-wait, can’t we do this inside? Out here is—”
I leaned my head back in a panic.
But being in his arms, I had nowhere to run, and before I could even finish my sentence, his lips pressed to my forehead.
“We will go together.”
……
T/N: Why does that sound sad for some reason?
