Chapter 12
“……”
There was a brief silence, but to Sophia, it felt like an eternity. The duke didn’t say a word for a long time. Sophia slowly opened her tightly shut eyes.
“A kiss?”
Nothing had changed. The duke was still in front of her, simply staring at her with a baffled look.
“You want to kiss, Sophia?”
He asked in a tone that made it unclear whether he was teasing her or genuinely curious. Sophia quickly shook her head.
“No. I don’t want to.”
“Then why did you say ‘kiss’?”
“Well… it’s just… because you, I mean, Callas, are in this position…”
“You must’ve kissed a lot in this kind of position, huh?”
The duke replied sarcastically and leaned forward even more, clearly just trying to tease her. Now, his face was only a hand’s span away. Sophia inhaled sharply and leaned her head back as far as she could, though there was only flat ground behind her.
“That kind of question is rude.”
“But I’m your fiancé. Don’t you think I have the right to know who you’ve kissed?”
But Sophia ignored him completely.
“This position is rude, too. And why did you come here in the first place?”
She couldn’t even meet his eyes, but she did her best to speak firmly. The duke turned his head slightly to get a better view of her neck, her messy hair, and her flushed cheeks, and said flatly,
“Well, you ran away the moment you saw me. I thought we were playing tag or something.”
“Why would I ever do that?!”
Sophia shouted. Even then, she kept her head turned to the side and held her breath to avoid touching him, which made the situation oddly funny. Watching her efforts, the duke casually asked,
“Want me to move?”
“Yes!”
Her reply came loudly, as if she had been waiting for that. The duke finally chuckled. He stood up and knelt on one knee, reaching out his hand to her. Sophia considered ignoring it and getting up on her own, but she didn’t want to waste this chance—the chance to return to being a proper lady—so she took his hand.
Once she stood up, she realized her hair and clothes were a mess. Seeing her own reflection, Sophia became nervous and asked,
“Does anyone know you came here?”
“Well, the eleven maids I passed by, the four attendants in the garden, and Madam Sandel who was with you… they probably know.”
‘Please, just kill me now.’
Sophia squeezed her eyes shut.
“Oh, and also your mother and Felix Hilden…”
“Duke!”
Sophia shouted before he could finish. She was on the verge of asking if he was joking. Her face turned red with anger, and his careless attitude made her even more upset.
“You’re a man, but I’m a woman. I didn’t think you’d be so clueless about the difference! You followed me all the way out here, and now I look like this. What do you think people will say? We’re engaged, yes, but we haven’t even had a proper engagement ceremony. If we act so carelessly, even our closest friends and family will think badly of us! You’re older than me—how can you act so irresponsibly?”
“You think I’m being irresponsible?”
“Yes!”
“And yet it wasn’t irresponsible for you to run away the moment you saw me?”
She almost shouted ‘Yes!’ again in anger. But she bit her lip instead, looked around nervously, and apologized.
“That… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
“Hmm.”
The duke made a short sound and went quiet, clearly not taking her apology seriously. Sophia tried to fix her clothes, smoothing the wrinkles and fixing her hair. After watching her fuss around for a while, the duke suddenly asked,
“…Sophia, did you have a dream?”
He asked it like it was nothing, like it didn’t really matter. But Sophia froze and looked at him blankly.
His blue eyes, unlike his casual voice, were carefully watching her. He studied her parted lips and wide eyes before frowning.
“You really had a dream?”
He sounded like she had done something terribly wrong.
“……”
Sophia swallowed hard. She couldn’t read his expression. Just his gaze made her feel guilty. This wasn’t the usual lightheartedness he showed. The longer she stayed silent, the heavier his presence felt, and the colder his expression became.
“…Yes.”
In the end, Sophia couldn’t take it anymore and told the truth. She had come all this way and hidden to avoid letting him find out, but his pressure was too much. It felt like he was slowly choking her and freezing her from the toes up.
“What kind of dream? A dream where you and I kiss?”
His voice was dry, emotionless, as if just confirming a fact. Sophia blushed and nodded.
“That’s it?”
Of course, that wasn’t all. In the dream, he had used magic to control a doll that looked exactly like her, and he had said many things. But she had a strong feeling she shouldn’t tell him that. It was instinct—like sensing she had to stay still in front of a wild beast.
“What did I say in the dream?”
He seemed deeply interested, as if her dream held an answer he needed.
“…You… hugged me…”
“……”
“And said you loved me…”
It was an outrageous answer. The duke frowned and looked down at her, as if checking to see if she was lying.
And she was—but her red, embarrassed face made it look like she was telling the truth. Even though he wasn’t the type to be easily fooled, he was arrogant enough to stop doubting her. Then, like a switch, he returned to the version of himself she knew.
The version he wanted her to see: a soft smile, gentle kindness, a bit of playful teasing.
“Not such a wrong dream. We’re going to be married. Of course, that kind of thing will happen in the future.”
The perfect attitude for a man in love.
Sophia stared blankly at him, surprised by the sudden change. Well, to be precise, the duke hadn’t exactly gotten angry. It had been something beyond that—something more powerful than emotion. Like divine fire from the gods, not human anger.
“Sophia?”
He called her name when she didn’t respond. Sometimes, Sophia wanted to say that he scared her. That his changes, or even just his presence, sometimes frightened her deeply. But she couldn’t say that aloud.
So she covered her face with her hands, trying not to show her fear.
“Now that you know why I ran away, please go.”
“Are you embarrassed?”
“Of course I’m embarrassed! Why would you come chasing after someone who ran away? A true gentleman would never do that.”
“Where did you hear that?”
“I made it up.”
Then, the duke chuckled lazily.
“You made that up?”
“Yes.”
“Can I ask why you think that way?”
“Because… if a lady runs away, there must be a good reason. The most important qualities in a gentleman are patience and consideration. He should wait until she’s ready to return.”
The duke laughed again—not in admiration, but like he was humoring a child.
“Are you laughing at me?”
Sophia couldn’t stand being mocked and quickly lifted her head. With smudged makeup and tear-filled eyes from earlier fear, she looked even younger than usual. The duke slowly raised his hand… and gently poked her forehead.
“Ow! What was that for?!”
“Sophia, you’re saying such silly things.”
“What’s silly about it?!”
“How can love not be possessive? Love is wanting to understand someone, to have them, and to make them a part of you.”
The duke quietly quoted a line from a poem by Riltz. Sophia wanted to argue that quoting poetry when she was talking about real-life manners was just cowardly. Yet at the same time, she was curious.
Did the duke—who always seemed to want nothing—really mean what he said?
“Don’t tell me… do you feel the same? Do you want me to become like you?”
He smiled again. A smile she couldn’t understand.
“Sophia, you may not realize it, but you already are. Just a little.”
