Chapter 8
The spirit user’s office was in a secluded part of the Imperial Palace. Sir Chent and I would sometimes gossip about the Emperor, saying that he treated spirit users in the Empire too poorly.
But now, in this moment, walking side by side with Havel, I felt so grateful I wanted to bow in thanks to the Emperor for his neglect.
If the spirit user’s office had been in the middle of the Imperial Palace, all the administrators, mages, and knights pouring out during non-working hours would have seen Havel and me together.
But he’s not planning to keep coming to find me for lunch and after work, is he? That would be a problem.
Havel wasn’t the type to walk around with women casually, so if he kept accompanying me like this, strange rumors would surely spread.
What should I do?
I stole a glance at Havel, who was walking silently beside me. His profile, as he looked straight ahead, seemed so handsome that my worries almost faded away.
Should I tell him? That it’s a bit inconvenient for him to come looking for me like this. But I don’t have the courage to say it. I’m scared. It’s uncomfortable. And somehow, I feel sorry.
Even though it was because of the potion, he loved me. I couldn’t tell exactly how strong the feeling was, but seeing how he acted towards me, it certainly didn’t seem light.
So how could I tell someone like that not to come anymore? That’d be too cruel.
Sigh. As my worries deepened, my steps slowed. I kept looking down and then suddenly noticed something strange.
…The Grand Duke’s steps were strange?
He was walking awkwardly with steps less than half the size of his own feet. Watching him, I soon realized that his stride had adjusted to my slower pace.
I felt a strange sensation watching his feet take steps in sync with mine.
“Ahem.”
“Are you cold?”
His low voice echoed above my head.
I wasn’t cold. On the contrary, my face felt hot, and a soft feather seemed to be tickling my throat, which made me cough.
“No, I just swallowed wrong.”
“Is that so.”
Pfft. The corners of his lips curled up again. I’d seen it many times today, but each time it was still something I couldn’t get used to.
As we reached the intersection of the road where the path split east and west, Havel asked me.
“Where is your carriage waiting?”
“Oh, my carriage stop is to the west. Your Highness’s would be to the east, I presume?”
The First Knight Order was located on the east side of the Imperial Palace, so knights of the First Knight Order, including Rayon, mainly used the east carriage stop.
I reached for the hem of my skirt, ready to bid him farewell here. But Havel walked past me and headed down the west path.
What is it? I stood blankly, unable to understand his actions. Then Havel turned to look at me.
“It’s Havel, not Your Highness. And aren’t you coming? Why are you standing there?”
“Y-Your, no, Ha-Havel. That’s west…”
“I know, I have to escort you.”
He looked at me with a calm expression, as if wondering why I was asking about such an obvious fact.
“Pardon? No, I’m fine. You don’t need to escort me.”
That’s something close friends or lovers do, why would we do that?
I waved my hand, forcing a smile to hide my discomfort.
Then Havel’s eyes, which had been looking at me, darkened.
“I came here to do that, do you dislike me escorting you that much?”
“Dislike? I never said that… Haha, there must have been some misunderstanding.”
“Then let’s go.”
“Yes.”
My courage wasn’t big enough yet to say no again.
We walked together to the west stop, our steps matched once more.
Havel was silent during the walk. During that period of silence, my reason screamed, swirling through my mind.
Where exactly is our relationship progressing towards? Does Havel truly understand that the reason he loves me is because he took the potion? Even under the influence of potion, shouldn’t he have some rationality? So why doesn’t Havel get angry at me and treat me so well?
Indeed, something is off about this. I need to have a talk with him about this matter.
Just as I made up my mind, we arrived at the carriage stop.
I thought maybe this wasn’t the right time after all, and with some regret, I headed toward where the carriages were parked.
I worried there might be many people, but thankfully, there were only two administrators who I barely recognized.
They flinched at the sight of Havel, but at Havel’s sharp gaze, they lowered their eyes and hurriedly boarded their carriages.
Havel, who was looking around the carriage, said to me.
“Serira, it seems your carriage hasn’t arrived yet. Shouldn’t you send word to the mansion?”
“No, my carriage is right over there.”
As I pointed to the carriage with my finger, Havel’s eyebrows twitched.
Sensitive to his change in expression, my heart pounded, wondering if I had made another mistake.
“That’s not the carriage I sold.”
Oh, right.
I looked helplessly between the carriage and Havel.
Havel looked at me with an intense gaze, as if demanding an explanation according to the five W’s and one H.
A cold sweat trickled down my back, and I took a step back from him.
“Ah, well, that is, um… that carriage is too flashy. It draws too much attention, so it’s impossible to use it in daily life… Of course, I, no, I appreciate Havel’s generous heart like the sea, but… yes, it was just too much to ride around in…”
Seeing his face devoid of a smile, a dry gulp passed down my throat.
Am I going to die? Even if he took a magic potion, this must be unforgivable, right?
Thinking that, I trembled inwardly, and then Havel spoke in a heavy voice.
“I apologize, I hadn’t thought that far.”
The shadow that fell across Havel’s face created a dejected expression.
I blinked. What did I just hear? Sorry? Did he say sorry? Unbelievable!
In this unbelievable situation, I closed my eyes and opened them again. But even after opening them again, the reality in front of me hadn’t changed.
Havel looking dejected, what an incompatible combination. But Havel in front of me truly looked sorry.
“No, no. You don’t have to be sorry at all. On the contrary, I’m truly grateful. You practically gave me such a good carriage for free.”
“I gave you trash you couldn’t even ride in, there’s no need to be grateful. I should have been more thoughtful.”
“Trash? I’ve never seen such a magnificent piece of trash in my life!”
Grab.
Seeing him run a hand down his face seemed pitiful, and for a moment, I instinctively reached out and grabbed his hand.
Only after I had unconsciously taken his hand did I come to my senses. Our eyes met.
What have I done?
His hand, which usually held a sword, had hard calluses. And the atmosphere around us froze along with our hands.
As the warmth of his hand within my two hands grew more vivid, my eyes shook violently. Havel’s violet eyes widened, as if he was flustered.
“Lady, aren’t you getting into the carriage?”
The coachman’s voice broke the frozen atmosphere.
I flinched, let go of his hand, and stepped back a few paces.
Havel, who had been staring blankly at his hands, looked at me.
Don’t look, don’t stare at me like that.
Embarrassment washed over me like a tidal wave..
What I needed at this moment was to escape.
“Havel, then I’ll be going now. Please be careful on your way back.”
After I spoke in a rapid-fire voice, I quickly boarded the carriage through the door the coachman held open, without looking back.
As the carriage departed, I let out a silent scream and banged my head against the carriage wall.
“Why did I grab his hand there, why did I grab his hand, why! I’m crazy, truly.”
No matter how much I banged my head, the unforgettable memory and his last words, ‘Serira, get home safely,’ haunting me endlessly inside the rattling carriage.
* * *
“Lady Ventus, good morning… Gasp! What’s wrong with your face? Are you feeling unwell?”
Sir Kuer, who always arrived around the same time, greeted me with a cheerful face but then gasped in horror at my appearance and stepped back three paces.
My haggard appearance, with dark circles extending down to the bridge of my nose from barely sleeping, was indeed so bad that Sir Kuer was horrified.
Even Liche, who came in to help me get ready in the morning, shrieked and called for Hilda.
I turned my head to Sir Kuer, who was looking at me with concern.
“I’m fine. I just didn’t get much sleep.”
“It doesn’t look like ‘just didn’t get much sleep.’ Is there some trouble at home?”
“Misfortune has never not been part of my life. Sir Kuer, live with gratitude for even small things.”
Yes, that’s right. Nothing has been easy in this sudden new life that began at five years old. Sniff.
As I covered my face with my hands, I heard Sir Kuer calling me in a faint voice.
“Lady…”
Pat, pat. I felt Sir Kuer’s rough hand pat my shoulder a couple of times.
The moment I raised my head to thank him for the comfort, Rayon’s voice came from ahead.
“Serira.”
“Rayon, …Your Royal Highness, the Grand Duke.”
“Third Knight Order, Kuer Bach, I greet the Commander.”
Rayon wasn’t alone. Havel stood beside Rayon, staring straight at me.
When Sir Kuer saw Havel, he bowed deeply to Havel.
A few seconds of silence passed, but the Grand Duke, who had received the greeting, gave no response.
Why isn’t he telling him to rise?
There should have been at least a small gesture, but Havel gave no response to Sir Kuer, who remained bowed.
Rayon also looked uneasy, glancing nervously at Havel.
A few seconds of silence now stretched into minutes, and a suffocating stillness enveloped us.
Ugh, this is driving me crazy. Why is he doing this? Unable to bear the discomfort, I looked at Havel’s hardened face, feeling like I had to take the lead.
“Your Highness, Sir Kuer has offered his greetings.”
At my remark, which implied, “Are you not going to acknowledge his greeting?” Rayon’s eyes shook violently as if they had suffered an earthquake of magnitude 8.0. I also heard Sir Kuer, who was still bowed beside me, swallowed his breath.
