Chapter 14
“Sir Rayon, why are you here at this hour instead of at your own home?”
“I… heard that Serira was sick… I was worried, so I stopped by.”
Rayon said this in a nervous voice, but Havel’s sharp demeanor showed no signs of softening.
“Your Highness… What brings you here?”
Realizing this wouldn’t do, I subtly shielded Rayon and took a step closer to Havel. Havel’s brow furrowed for a moment, but then smoothed out as our eyes met, as if nothing had happened.
“You didn’t come to the Imperial Palace today, so I was worried something might have happened.”
So he came looking for me again today. I could feel Rayon quickly turn his head towards me, even without seeing it, after Havel said he was worried about me. Rayon’s intense gaze pierced my profile, making my face sting slightly.
Yes, that’s a natural reaction. The Grand Duke is worried about me… anyone would think we’re close on a personal level.
He told me not to push him away, so was this his way of saying I should be prepared for him to approach me so directly?
Was he trying to break free from the love potion’s effects? Or had the potion completely consumed his reason?
Unlike my chaotic thoughts, Havel’s gaze on me was so straightforward. It was as if he didn’t see anyone else here but me. Just like he said, nothing else seemed to matter to him right now besides me.
It would be irresponsible to tell someone who got caught up in the mess I caused to just bear with it and wait, since it’s not real, right…? But it isn’t real.
All sorts of thoughts crashed together, and I unconsciously let out a small groan. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to ignore Havel, who was only looking at me.
“Your Highness, Rayon and I were just about to have a meal… Would you care to join us?”
Perhaps he hadn’t expected me to make such an offer, especially after I’d practically yelled at him to stay away just yesterday, Havel’s pupils trembled slightly.
He stared at me for a moment, then gave a faint smile.
“I will join you.”
* * *
“I’m not sure if the food will suit your taste. It must be lacking compared to the Grand Duke’s estate, is that all right??”
Since I don’t usually eat well, the mansion probably didn’t have a lot of ingredients stocked. Still, the chef seemed to have done his best to make a variety of dishes with what was available, but I wondered if it would be enough for Havel.
“This is plenty. In fact, there are more varieties than at the Grand Ducal estate. I don’t like to put too many dishes on the table.”
“That’s a relief then.”
With the most important guest expressing satisfaction, the meal began calmly.
It was a rather awkward meal at a round table with no head seat, making us all conscious of each other. Still, I tried my best not to show it as I ate.
We were quietly focusing on our food, without much conversation, when Rayon placed a small, golden-brown, shrimp covered in sauce on my plate.
“Try this, it’s delicious.”
“Oh, okay. Thanks.”
Ever since we were kids, when Rayon and I ate together, he would sometimes give me delicious food like this. It was a familiar gesture, so I was about to eat the shrimp without thinking when a spoon suddenly appeared on my plate.
“This tastes pretty good too.”
It was stewed meatballs. I looked at the food Havel had placed on my plate and wrinkled my nose at the spicy smell.
I can’t eat spicy food… what should I do…
Normally, they wouldn’t make spicy dishes, but perhaps because there were two guests today, the chef seemed to have made dishes I don’t usually eat. Out of twenty dishes, it had to be the spicy one.
I didn’t want to eat it, but I felt like I had to. The moment I picked up my spoon, Rayon’s voice echoed across the table.
“Serira can’t eat spicy food, Commander.”
“…I was unaware. My apologies.”
“Serira, don’t eat it. It’s very spicy.”
Good-hearted Rayon even took the meatballs from my plate and put them on another one. At that moment, Havel set his spoon down with a sharp clink. The sound echoed loudly across the table.
“Sir Rayon, you seem to know a lot about Lady Serira.”
“Yes. After all, we’ve been together since we were little. There’s almost nothing I don’t know about Serira.”
As Rayon answered with a bright smile, Havel’s eyes darkened.
Rayon, stop smiling. This really isn’t the time for that.
I secretly poked Rayon’s side, trying to tell him to be quiet because of Havel’s unusual gaze, but it was my mistake.
“Huh? Serira, what’s wrong? Why are you touching my waist?”
“When did I touch your waist?!”
I shouted in embarrassment at clueless Rayon’s honesty, but seeing Havel’s eyebrow twitch, it seemed it was too late to fix things.
“No, you definitely did.”
I silently cursed at Rayon, who was mumbling with innocent eyes, then turned my gaze to see Havel’s face, his lips curved into a smooth smile.
“The relationship between you two really seems special.”
Was it just my imagination, or did he say that through clenched teeth…?
* * *
“Did you not come to the Imperial Palace today because of me?”
“Huh? No, um… not exactly.”
Well, it actually was because of him, but I laughed awkwardly and turned my gaze towards the garden. However, seeing the garden overgrown with weeds and no flowers, I regretted looking away.
Should I hire a gardener? I seriously considered it.
It wasn’t this bad when I moved in. I worried about what the landlord who is standing next to me would think seeing this desolate garden.
He’s not going to tell me to move out, is he? I subtly glanced at Havel’s face. Thankfully, Havel’s gaze at the garden’s weeds only held boredom, showing no particular thoughts.
After dinner, Rayon quickly took his carriage and headed home. When I say he went home, it was practically me kicking him out.
Havel watched our bickering without a word, but his eyes weren’t smiling even though his lips were. It was terrifying. I just hoped this wouldn’t affect Rayon’s knight life.
Come to think of it, I sent Rayon away so quickly that I didn’t get to hear his troubles. He seemed upset, I wonder if he’s okay…
After forcing him to leave, I felt bad about it.
Maybe I should have lunch with Rayon tomorrow. Yes, I can listen to him then. He must have been secretly disappointed that I kicked him out.
I knew Rayon’s personality. He’ll pretend he’s fine, but I know he gets sulky easily. The thought made me chuckle.
“What are you thinking that makes you smile like that?”
Havel, who was walking with me in the garden, asked.
“Oh, Rayon… no, those weeds are just so funny-looking… haha…”
“You were thinking about Sir Rayon.”
I tried to mumble my way out of it, but he heard me perfectly. I accidentally said Rayon’s name, then tried to point at the weeds, but Havel brought up Rayon’s name again, as if it was obvious.
A faint, cold smile brushed past his lips.
“Looking back, Serira, you’ve been with Sir Rayon often. I frequently saw you two together even on dispatch, and I wonder why I’m only thinking of this now. …Come to think of it, the one you initially intended to give the love potion to was Sir Rayon.”
Havel spoke softly, as if recalling his memories, but then his face suddenly hardened as he spoke his last words.
He stared at me with sunken eyes, then slowly moved his lips.
“Do you… love Sir Rayon?”
“No, no, absolutely not!”
That’s ridiculous! Rayon was like family to me, like a younger brother. I do love him, but that love is absolutely not romantic.
I waved my hands, strongly denying it. His gloomy aura seemed to slowly bind me, so I shouted “no” even louder, just to survive.
Perhaps my strong denial worked, as Havel’s hardened face began to soften little by little.
“Then, why did you try to give him the love potion that day?”
“That’s… well… it’s a very long story if I explain it…”
How do I explain all of this? Do I have to tell him all the horrible things Rayon did that made me want to give him the potion? Then the story about Mary would come up…
I fiddled with my fingers, wondering how to shorten this complicated situation, when Havel spoke to me in a gentle tone.
“It can be as long as you want, I can listen to your words forever.”
My fingers, which had been tangled anxiously, froze as I couldn’t sort out my dizzy head.
Ah… clears throat. Again, a strange and unfamiliar feeling enveloped me. Havel wasn’t scary or uncomfortable, but my heart was pounding rapidly.
His eyes, which had been sharp just moments ago, were now filled with a gentle warmth.
It felt real again. Ah, this can’t keep happening. I have to hold on to my sanity.
I clenched my hands tightly. My pounding heart began to calm down again.
“It’s because Rayon was starting to waver again for the woman he broke up with. He had a very hard time after their breakup, so I wanted to give him the potion to prevent him from repeating the same mistake. Of course, I planned to give him the antidote right away. Rayon and I aren’t like that.”
“Sir Rayon had a woman then.”
“Yes, he did. I think he still loves her very much.”
That’s right, he definitely couldn’t forget Mary.
I said it as if I wasn’t sure, but I was actually certain. Rayon truly loved Mary a lot.
If only Mary was willing to settle down with Rayon, they’d live happily ever after. Sigh, well, now isn’t the time for me to worry about other people’s love lives.
After hearing my answer, Havel’s mood softened like melting snow. His violet eyes, full of tenderness, looked down at me, and for some reason, my whole body felt tingly, so I turned my gaze away from him.
“Your Highness…”
“Are you still going to call me ‘Your Highness’? I told you that day, when we are alone, you can call me by my name.”
He cut off my words and, with a persistent gaze, told me to say his name.
