Chapter 17

(17) I Will Protect Your Majesty (9)

Caron was quietly curled up in the shadows.

It was clear that no one remained in the Tulip Palace after Eleanor left, yet Caron still didn’t move.

‘Should I run away?’

– ‘Caron. Do you remember the pain I passed onto you a little while ago?’

The problem was that pain.

Since being freed from brainwashing, Caron had come to understand how terrifying pain could be.

– ‘You better remember it well. From now on, if you do anything against my will, you’ll feel that pain forever.’

That realization was the problem.

When he was ignorant, he’d fearlessly thrown himself into danger. But now, the thought of suffering that excruciating pain forever left him too afraid to move.

Caron looked down at his forearms wrapped around his bent knees.

Even just by looking, the old scars looked painful, he couldn’t even clearly remember when they’d formed.

He had no idea what would happen if he regained his memories completely. Would he go mad—or finally gain freedom?

‘Freedom.’

The more he thought about it, the more he rolled the sweet word around in his mouth.

‘Freedom.’

Could Eleanor really give him that?

That’s when it happened. 

Click.

At the sound of the door opening cautiously, he lifted his gaze. A woman tiptoed in. It was Eleanor’s maid, Cecily.

It wasn’t unusual for Cecily to enter Eleanor’s room, but..

‘That’s the face of someone up to no good.’

Her darting eyes, her nervous fidgeting, her cautious steps..

Cecily walked over to the vanity, took a deep breath, and opened a bottle of facial toner.

She looked around once more, then pulled something from her bosom and poured it into the bottle.

After shaking the bottle several times to mix it well, she quickly left the room, even faster than she had entered.

Even after the door shut, Caron didn’t budge. He didn’t even try to find out what Cecily had put in the bottle.

Whatever it was, what did it matter?

That silver-haired woman who had inflicted pain upon him, the one he wanted to kill immediately, he couldn’t care less what happened to her.

‘Live or die, it’s none of my business.’

Eleanor had said that pain would come if he tried to escape or acted against her will. It was Cecily who spiked the bottle, not Caron.

A long while later, Eleanor returned. She was dressed differently from when she’d left—the new dress suited her well.

“Did anything happen while I was gone?” 

Eleanor asked as she sat on the sofa.

Caron feared pain would come if he lied, but he replied as calmly as he could.

“Nothing happened.”

Thankfully, that small lie didn’t trigger the ‘bomb’ Eleanor had planted. He felt relieved that there was no pain, but Eleanor stared at him and chuckled.

Startled, he wondered if she had seen through the lie.

“Why are you laughing?”

“I laugh easily.”

“You laugh easily…”

Caron repeated her words. He didn’t dislike the way they sounded.

Indeed, even if he wanted to kill her, her smile was more striking than anyone else’s.

“Are you hungry?” Eleanor asked. When Caron nodded, she said,

“I asked them to prepare dinner on my way in. It’ll be ready soon. Just wait a little.”

As she said, before long, Cecily came in pushing a cart. She avoided looking at Eleanor as much as possible. But from his corner, Caron clearly saw Cecily’s tension—her darting eyes, her unease.

She was so visibly nervous, he thought Eleanor would explode in rage at any moment.

But nothing happened until Cecily quietly set the food on the table and left.

As soon as she left, Eleanor took out a silver dagger and poked the food item by item, checking for poison.

“Come sit down, Caron.”

Only then did Caron step out of hiding and stand up.

He stretched out his stiff limbs and trudged over to the sofa to sit.

There was more food than one person could eat. Eleanor hadn’t asked for extra food, yet it was always served in generous amounts.

The first time he tasted this food, it was astounding. Caron had only ever eaten slop, he had never known food could taste so good.

Even now, it was still astonishing.

“Aren’t you eating, Master?”

“No, I already ate outside.”

“Then this is…?”

“Cecily probably didn’t know I’d eaten, so she prepared it as usual.”

“Why did you do that?”

“Why? Should I have let you starve?”

“I can go a few meals without food.”

“But hunger is painful.”

Indeed, it is.

He briefly recalled the days he had suffered from hunger without even knowing it was pain.

But he had endured. Whether it was due to brainwashing or strong willpower, he didn’t know.

“You don’t need to keep doing this. I can go ten days without eating.”

“I’ll keep doing it, Caron. I don’t intend to starve you. So stop arguing and just eat.”

Arguing, she says.

“I’m only saying what I can do for you, Master.”

For my freedom.

“I don’t want to trouble you.”

“You starving isn’t for my sake. I want you to eat well, sleep well, and rest well. Of course, maybe someday, I’ll need you to do something dangerous for me.”

Eleanor walked to the window and perched on the sill.

“It’s peaceful right now.”

But was it?

A maid sneaking in poison, constant checking for sabotage—was that truly peace?

Caron kept silent, then reached for the meat pie. Golden and glistening, its surface was crisp and buttery.

He’d eaten this on the first day. The savory taste that exploded in his mouth the moment he bit into the flaky crust was unforgettable. Even though this was only his second time having it, it still amazed him.

The taste made him lose himself—he devoured one meat pie, then reached for another.

Eleanor, watching him, said,

“Is the meat pie your favorite?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah, meat pies are delicious.”

Her gaze turned toward the darkening sky outside the window.

“At Snow Territory, venison meat pies are the most famous. Our chef made them unbelievably well. When I’d come back inside from the freezing winter cold, even with a thick fur coat, there’d be a freshly baked meat pie waiting. Holding it in my frozen hands and taking a bite—it felt like I owned the whole world.”

“…”

“I miss those days.”

Caron stopped eating and stared at Eleanor.

Though she looked out into the distance, Caron felt she was seeing something far beyond the sky.

As always, her lips wore a faint smile. Yet somehow, he felt she was on the verge of tears.

Of course, she didn’t cry. Still, his chest ached.

Even though the ‘bomb’ inside his mind hadn’t gone off.

Twinge. Twinge. Twinge.

The pain was annoying.

“A moment ago, Cecily…”

He hadn’t meant to speak, but the words came out.

“She put something in your toner.”

Eleanor slowly turned her head and stared at him.

Caron feared that the bomb would explode and bring unbearable pain… But nothing happened. 

Eleanor simply smiled.

“I see. Thanks for telling me.”

Thanks. For some reason, that word… hurt.

***

Eleanor opened the bottle Cecily had tampered with and tried to pour some of the toner onto her palm.

“What are you doing?”

“Trying to find out what she put in it.”

“Then test it on my hand.”

Caron had come up beside her at some point, offering his palm.

Eleanor frowned.

“Why would I do that to you?”

“Because I’m your dog.”

“I like puppies. Move your hand, Caron.”

“There are poisons that can kill just by touching the skin.”

“I have some resistance to poison. Looks like you do too.”

“Why do you have poison resistance? Aren’t you of noble blood?”

“Nobles who fight monsters end up developing it naturally.”

“You fight monsters?”

“Have you?”

Caron shook his head, then tilted it slightly. His unkempt red hair slipped to the side.

“I don’t remember clearly, but I think I’ve only ever killed humans.”

“I see.”

Eleanor gave up testing the toner and closed the bottle again.

“Whatever she put in there, I don’t need to know.”

She handed the toner to Caron.

“Can you return this to Consort Calliope?”

“As many times as you wish.”

Eleanor smiled.

“You’re reassuring.”