Chapter 5: Inner Turmoil
Isaac, who had been quietly observing, suddenly spoke up.
“What’s troublesome about it? The lady’s words don’t seem wrong.”
“Not you too?”
A frustrated gaze turned toward Isaac.
“Isn’t it true? If she crumbles this easily, it would be better to find a replacement.”
“…”
“Everyone experiences trial and error, Your Grace. You can’t be the exception.”
Kaylon’s golden eyes lowered. If everyone was saying the same thing, perhaps he should reconsider his judgment.
‘Am I wrong?’
But it didn’t sit right with him. The Lyra Norris he’d observed wasn’t someone who would crumble here.
‘I’m not sure.’
His brow furrowed deeply. He couldn’t forget the face of the woman who had shown such sincere dedication to learning that he’d found it admirable. The thought of seeking another woman didn’t appeal to him either.
Still, if everyone was unanimous…
“Let’s watch a bit longer.”
They could always decide later.
“But Your Grace.”
“Enough. Show me what you’ve brought.”
When Kaylon gestured toward the documents in his hand, Isaac reluctantly handed them over.
While the woman’s issue was important, the matter of the new hotel was equally crucial, so he pushed thoughts of her from his mind.
* * *
How long had she been forcing herself to get up? Hannah entered the room to announce morning, her face dark with concern. Lyra barely managed to push off her blanket and raise her sweat-soaked body.
She’d thought time would make things better, but somehow she felt like she was sinking deeper into the mire with each passing day. She couldn’t even immediately comprehend Hannah’s words.
“What… did you say?”
Even when Lyra asked again, holding her slightly dizzy head, Hannah’s lips remained tightly sealed.
“Could you… tell me again?”
Only after being asked a second time did Hannah carefully speak with an apologetic expression.
“Mrs. Beightle has discontinued the lessons.”
“…Why?”
“Well…”
Was it too difficult to answer? As Lyra quietly recalled recent events, she could picture Mrs. Beightle’s repeated scolding.
Her head dropped as she bit her lip. So it had come to this after all. She hadn’t managed to move even one step forward.
Moreover, Sabrina’s words had been echoing in her ears all day—asking if she’d considered how the Duke would suffer because of her.
‘I knew this would happen… I knew I’d ruin everything…’
This was all she was capable of. Far from being helpful to anyone, she was just causing constant trouble.
‘Is the Duke regretting it now? Does he regret taking me in?’
Even canceling breakfast spoke volumes. He probably couldn’t stand the sight of her anymore.
“I’ll prepare your washing water first. You’ll feel better after cleaning up.”
“Mm.”
Shortly after, Lyra entered the bathroom. As she washed her sweaty body with cold water, her mind gradually cleared, just as Hannah had said.
She stared blankly at her reflection in the mirror. Her open eyes were almost unfocused, and her drooping mouth corners gave her a profoundly gloomy appearance.
When had she changed like this? Her reflection, seen properly after so long, was pathetically familiar. As if she’d reverted to her old self.
“…”
‘No.’
They were the ones who had done wrong, so why was she acting like a criminal? Why was she eating away at herself, behaving so worthlessly?
Her face, which looked ready to burst into tears at any moment, suddenly contorted.
“Stop acting like a fool.”
She wiped the water droplets from the mirror and took a deep breath. Gradually, a clear light began to rise in the eyes of the woman in the mirror.
After changing into indoor clothes, Lyra ran straight to Mrs. Beightle’s room. Now that she knew the joy of learning better than anyone, she couldn’t bear to let it slip from her grasp.
* * *
Mrs. Beightle glanced at Lyra before turning away as if the sight disgusted her. Still, she didn’t chase her out, which gave Lyra courage.
“I’m sorry.”
“…”
“I never meant to… disgrace you.”
“…”
“I didn’t intend to bring shame… to the house either.”
“And? What of it?”
Despite the chilly attitude that might have cowed her, Lyra tried to keep her head up. Mrs. Beightle had always disapproved of timid demeanors.
“I’m reflecting deeply… on everything now. Please be my teacher again.”
“Why should I?”
“…”
Lyra’s words caught in her throat. Mrs. Beightle’s stance was harsher than expected.
Though not entirely unexpected, it still cut through her heart like ice. It seemed it would take longer to convince the elderly lady than she’d thought.
“I’ll ask again. Why should I?”
Mrs. Beightle turned to face Lyra. Her narrowed eyes seemed intent on discerning Lyra’s true feelings.
Finally, Lyra opened her heart.
“I know… I’m inadequate. I know I might… tarnish your name. But…”
“…”
“I don’t want to stop here. I don’t want to… become a failure.”
“…”
“Please, help me.”
Mrs. Beightle’s dark brown eyes fixed directly on Lyra. Though the gaze wasn’t particularly sharp, Lyra had to lower her eyes. Even breathing felt precarious in this moment.
“Is this because of His Grace?”
At the sudden question, Lyra couldn’t speak. Her promise to him was important. Indeed, it was the main reason she’d found the courage to seek out the elderly lady.
But she didn’t want to answer yes. That would mean forever remaining the foolish Lyra Norris.
Whatever Mrs. Beightle made of her silence, after a moment she let out a long sigh.
“If that’s the case, I’ll speak with His Grace myself.”
“No, madam.”
Lyra quickly raised her eyes.
“This is for myself.”
Taking a deep breath, Lyra gazed at the elderly lady with unwavering eyes. This earned her an immediate sharp rebuke.
“You fool! If you need a teacher, we can find another. But what about after? How can both you and His Grace be so naive!”
“That’s not it, madam.”
Lyra quickly waved her hands, but the elderly lady’s tirade didn’t stop there. As if she’d been storing up these words, Mrs. Beightle continued without pause.
“Have you considered how painful it is to live under others’ scrutiny? How a woman without means becomes such perfect prey, how many people’s tongues will wag! Do you really think you can endure when sometimes their thorny words will deny your very existence?”
“…”
“Are you truly asking me to watch a young woman’s life fall into ruin?”
“…Madam.”
“Answer me, Miss Norris.”
Lyra’s pupils shook violently. Mrs. Beightle’s words painted a future that felt distant and intangible. She’d only thought of it vaguely, never truly envisioning it properly.
Yet somehow, the elderly lady’s contorted face and rough breathing seemed to precisely forecast her future. The passionate voice seemed to hold genuine concern for Lyra.
Gripping her dress tightly, Lyra finally answered after a moment of silence.
“Please… watch over me. I promise I won’t disappoint you.”
It was quite a bold response. Naturally, Mrs. Beightle’s eyebrows twitched with disapproval.
Even as the cold gaze bore into her face, Lyra didn’t lower her head. Instead, she met it even more firmly.
In the end, it was Mrs. Beightle who yielded. The elderly lady turned away from Lyra and waved her hand.
“I’m tired. You may go now.”
At this softening of stance, Lyra quietly exhaled. Though she hadn’t received a definite answer, she felt she might allow herself some hope.
Lyra lifted her skirts slightly and returned to her room.
