Chapter 10: What It Means to Become Real
* * *
A somewhat awkward atmosphere lingered between them. Though his strong arm wrapped around her shoulder affectionately, they made eye contact noticeably less often.
Because of this, Max, who had been chattering playfully in front of them, alternated glances between Kaylon and Lyra before giving them a push. It was the last night of the ball, he urged, so wouldn’t it be lovely for the handsome pair to end it beautifully?
Kaylon and Lyra looked at each other before stepping onto the dance floor. The nobles’ eyes widened as this figure, who had shown no interest in dancing throughout the ball and from whom they’d expected nothing, came out onto the floor.
Nevertheless, Kaylon’s gaze remained fixed solely on Lyra. This continued as they danced through two more consecutive songs.
As she received his unfathomable stare, Lyra’s face gradually flushed. No matter how hard she tried to ignore it, it wasn’t easy.
‘He seems angry…’
Had her suggestion been too presumptuous after all? She’d spent time alone in the garden continuously searching for a better plan, but this was all she could come up with. Besides, the Duke had been the one to introduce her as his fiancée first, and anyway, everything would return to its proper place once the contract was completed.
Still, one thing that bothered her was the possibility that he might misunderstand her as aiming for the position of mistress of the ducal house. She had spoken while suppressing her emotions as much as possible, but judging by his coldly subdued golden eyes now, her intentions hadn’t been fully conveyed.
‘I should explain the situation again when we return.’
However, Lyra ultimately never had the chance to mention this matter again.
From the moment they returned to the villa, Kaylon became extremely busy.
He was originally supposed to accept Duke O’Neill’s dinner invitation, but even that was postponed. As if it didn’t matter whether Duke O’Neill’s expression turned sour or not.
Kaylon departed for Lumont the next day, while Lyra, accompanied by Hannah as before, left O’Neill later in a carriage.
Although they had stayed in O’Neill for less than a week, it felt like returning to Lumont after a long time.
Moreover, when the majestic gray building came into view, her breath caught in her throat.
By now, articles about her would have spread throughout the empire. This meant that all the servants here would know what kind of person Lyra Norris had been branded as.
Just as she was stepping out of the carriage, her face suddenly darkening, the front door opened and she heard a cry of “Miss!”
Seeing Letty running toward her with a welcoming face, as if she had been waiting for her, brought some relief. It felt like the wounds pooled in her heart were being soothed by the knowledge that she had somewhere to return to and by Letty’s attitude of not caring what kind of person she was.
Lyra smiled gently at Letty, who was making a fuss about how tiring the journey must have been. And as Letty warmly wrapped her hands around hers, she said softly:
“I’m back.”
* * *
After washing away the fatigue and dust from her journey in warm water, Lyra absently gazed out the window while sipping the tea Hannah had brought.
As autumn had fully arrived, trees dressed in colorful attire easily caught the eye. The scenery she hadn’t had the leisure to enjoy until now seemed fresh and new.
However, her sea-green eyes quickly darkened. No matter how she tried to steady herself, it wasn’t easy. Becoming real meant there would be that many more ways to get hurt.
Though she had been the one to suggest it, she wasn’t entirely at ease. Lyra couldn’t shake the cold gaze he had cast down at her. And then there were the things she had seen and heard in O’Neill.
This man whose actions she couldn’t understand made her heart even more confused. It had been difficult enough just managing her feelings of affection, but now with everything in doubt, she couldn’t find a moment’s peace.
She had proposed making the engagement real to end the contract as quickly as possible, but regret washed over her dozens of times.
With nothing to assure her it had been the right choice, she felt only frustration.
Lyra set down her teacup and rose to her feet.
“I’m going to see the Madam.”
“Won’t you rest a bit more?”
Hannah’s worried face suggested she wanted to keep the still-fatigued Lyra in place, but Lyra merely smiled in response, just as she had done throughout the carriage journey.
She headed straight for Mrs. Beightle’s room. Now it was time to face the music.
“I’ve heard what happened.”
At the softly dropping sigh, Lyra hunched her shoulders. Mrs. Beightle’s words, seemingly ready to expose her conduct, felt like they were mocking her attempt to delay punishment.
Reflecting on how easily she had forgotten her teachings, Lyra prepared words of apology.
“I’m sorry. I failed to uphold Lianton’s dignity because of my inadequacy. And to you as well…”
Just then, Mrs. Beightle interrupted Lyra with a furrowed brow.
“Miss Norris.”
“Yes, Madam.”
“You seem to have misunderstood me.”
“Pardon?”
As Lyra raised her head, Mrs. Beightle spoke again with a hardened gaze.
“You have nothing to apologize to me for. You merely kept your agreement with the Duke, didn’t you?”
“But…”
“It’s simply the natural order of things, so don’t dwell on it. The infamy born of jealousy and envy might last quite a long time, but everyone here, including myself, knows what a noble woman Lyra Norris is. So there’s no need to be so dejected.”
“…”
Seeing Lyra’s eyes grow moist, Mrs. Beightle let out another exasperated sigh.
“Standing beside the Duke means exactly that. Being criticized without reason, having small matters greatly exaggerated. Because Lyra Norris isn’t the type of woman Brikna wants.”
“…”
“So what? Face it proudly. It’s merely the foolish envy of those who have nothing. Eventually, you’ll naturally find people who understand you by your side.”
“…Yes.”
The unsparing words that stung and the comforting words that felt like pouring disinfectant on an open wound were truly characteristic of Mrs. Beightle.
Nevertheless, Lyra found solace. Contrary to her expectation of inevitable scolding, the old woman’s brown eyes reflected only deep concern as they looked at her.
“Sigh, anyway, that’s not what I wanted to talk about.”
Lyra quietly watched Mrs. Beightle as she lifted her teacup to wet her throat. As if something was caught in her throat, the old woman repeatedly furrowed and relaxed her brow.
What was troubling her? She would start to speak, then stop and stare; her lips would move, then quickly close again.
Lyra tried to think of what could be worse than tarnishing Lianton’s honor along with her own reputation, but she couldn’t fathom it.
After a moment, Mrs. Beightle’s lips, which had seemed so heavy, opened with difficulty.
“…I hear the ceremony is set for a month from now?”
Lyra’s eyes widened.
Ceremony? Did she mean the engagement ceremony? It was quite bewildering—this was the only thing that made sense in the current situation, but she hadn’t known about the schedule herself.
But Mrs. Beightle, who had turned her head to steady her breathing, didn’t see Lyra’s expression. She slowly closed and opened her eyes before speaking to Lyra again.
“I wonder if there’s any need to make such a grand affair of it… Sigh, but if the Duke has decided so, I suppose there’s nothing to be done.”
Mrs. Beightle met Lyra’s gaze. Though she had worried this might happen someday, it had come sooner than expected, and her expression showed her discomfort.
How could one young woman’s fate change so dramatically because of a young Duke carrying a single grudge? It couldn’t be helped.
“Manage your feelings well, Miss Norris.”
This was all she could say now.
“…Yes.”
But her quiet response sounded uncertain. Mrs. Beightle, who had been carefully examining Lyra’s expression, frowned.
“Surely not already…”
Had feelings grown in this child’s heart? Several moments flashed by quickly, but she didn’t want to believe it. The feelings she had sensed in Lyra Norris until now had stemmed from admiration or gratitude.
No, perhaps she had been the one turning a blind eye. Lyra was a girl who knew her place, and that’s why she hadn’t thought things would deepen like this.
Was it because she herself had long forgotten the emotions between men and women? Why hadn’t she considered that love could explode and grow at any moment?
A bitter taste pooled in her mouth and was quietly swallowed. Looking at Lyra sitting silently with her gaze lowered, she felt a dull ache in her heart.
Mrs. Beightle quietly observed the complex emotions stirring beneath those golden eyelashes before turning her gaze away. Why were they all so desperate to walk such difficult paths?
It seemed like she needed to come to her senses first. Otherwise, she might be tempted to take this poor thing somewhere quiet and remote and disappear.
“With time being short, things will be busy for a while. Starting tomorrow, I’ll assign a caretaker to you, so focus on nutrition to keep your skin from drying out.”
“Yes.”
The uncomfortable old woman exchanged a few more difficult words before sending Lyra back to her room. It was a day when the fine wrinkles at the corners of her eyes seemed particularly pronounced.
