Chapter 59
Chapter 59. The Lily Blooms Red
Sky-blue hair braided and tied to the left, a light pink dress chosen with him in mind, a small glass vial of holy water held in trembling hands.
All of these were prepared for just one person, but what use were they now?
Eurene, perched on the railing of the fountain in the imperial garden, stared blankly at her reflection wavering in the water’s surface.
Was it fortunate that she couldn’t clearly see her face, surely a mess from tears that had not yet dried? Eurene’s parched lips quivered before she tightly shut her eyes and clutched at her heart.
“It hurts…”
It’s agonizing. Her shattered love left her feeling as if her breath had been cut off.
Distant memories, the time spent with him in their youth, were fading into a murky haze.
“I’m the one who loves you. The one who should love you, the one who should be by your side is me, me…”
She knew it was a persistent love, almost to the point of blindness. But even so, because those memories were so beautiful.
The warm sunlight, the sweet imperial desserts she could only eat when meeting him felt like swallowing clouds. The Empress Dowager who cared for her more than her own mother, the freedom tasted outside the mansion, laughing freely, loving freely—how dazzling and beautiful it all was.
‘Eurene, you must be careful.’
‘That light pink dress makes you look like a flower.’
‘The weather’s turned cold, haven’t you been ill?’
‘On days when you come to the palace, Mother smiles more. Come often. I’ll be waiting.’
Memories growing distant tickled her ears before scattering like smoke.
Us, with smiles in full bloom; you and I, frolicking in the blue Baloua Garden; us, unburdened by status, dreaming of a future together.
Until just a month before the wedding, we were exchanging letters inquiring after each other’s well-being. How did we end up like this, where did things go wrong?
Eurene staggered to her feet and boarded a carriage.
A carriage prepared by her father to avoid her mother’s eyes. Even the coachman wasn’t from the ducal household, so she could perhaps end this freedom—which might be her last—wherever she wished.
Through the small gap in the slightly opened window, Eurene spoke to the coachman.
“To the brightest place in the capital. Anywhere is fine as long as it’s not the imperial palace or the ducal residence…”
The coachman, reading Eurene’s exhausted complexion, nodded. Soon, the carriage began to move smoothly. The gloomy green eyes beneath long lashes were hidden. It was an arduous night. But not one she wanted to end embracing only failure.
The carriage began to glide smoothly. Through the window, the brilliant lights of the imperial palace receded, as did the lights of the capital, still bright late into the night for Empire Foundation Day.
The carriage, which seemed to be entering complete darkness, drove a little deeper before entering a street surrounded by a different, alluring light than before.
Eurene, who had been staring blankly at the scattered lights, belatedly came to her senses when the carriage stopped and looked around.
Since she couldn’t see the city walls, it meant they were still within the capital, but it was a place she had never seen before.
No, how much did she really know about the capital? She had rarely ventured outside the ducal residence; it was a frog-in-the-well kind of thought.
As her mother’s shadow threatened to loom over her again, Eurene mustered her courage and flung open the carriage door.
“I’ll be waiting at the stables. Please find me when you’ve finished your business.”
Though not from the ducal household, the coachman’s manner suggested experience serving various nobles. Father had said he borrowed someone through an acquaintance; it seemed the acquaintance was a noble.
Eurene stepped out carefully.
She stood before the largest building on a street filled with unceasing laughter and song.
Several people in cloaks put on masks handed out at the entrance and entered the building.
Eurene moved towards it as if entranced.
“Welcome. Please wear a mask inside, though it’s up to you when using private rooms.”
She didn’t understand what that meant at all. Yet somehow, Eurene found herself holding a white mask, covering her eyes with it.
Stepping inside, a sweet scent strong enough to make her head spin assaulted her senses.
Unlike the overwhelming, elegant light of the imperial palace, a darker, redder light chaotically filled this space. People inside were dancing, conversing, and bursting into merry laughter.
“What is this place…”
Half the people wore masks, the other half didn’t. Those with uncovered faces were all unfamiliar to her.
Judging by their uniformly glamorous or mature attire adorned with expensive jewels, perhaps they were nobles she hadn’t yet been introduced to. Having rarely attended banquets, she could only guess.
Given that most people’s attire was rather revealing, her voluminous light pink dress chosen with him in mind didn’t quite fit the atmosphere.
As Eurene looked around, crumpling her dress with both hands, someone approached her. It was an unfamiliar man, tall and striking, unmasked, with deep gray hair and eyes.
“It seems you’re new here. Pardon my forwardness, but you looked uncomfortable, so I took the liberty of approaching you.”
Eurene stepped back in surprise. The man’s eyebrows drooped, and an apologetic look crossed his handsome face.
“Was my courage lacking, or has the lady’s courage not yet been filled? If I’m making you uncomfortable, I’ll withdraw.”
Courage. As the man spoke that word and bowed his head, Eurene was reminded of her own pathetic figure rejected by her brother. She stuttered a response.
“N-no, it’s not that. It’s just a bit unfamiliar…”
“I see. Then, may I help you adjust a little?”
“What… what kind of place is this? The Empire Foundation Day banquet is held at the palace, but this is far from there…”
“Hmm, how should I explain? There are days when even the light of the imperial palace can’t illuminate, days that are difficult in many ways. That feeling of being alone in the darkness.”
Eurene’s lips quivered before she gave a small nod.
“At such times, many people seek out this place. It’s a place where the light of complete freedom shines, free from anyone’s surveillance or oppression.”
“Complete freedom…”
A pleasant resonance filled Eurene’s mouth. Freedom. And light.
Could she push away the darkness enveloping her body and mind here?
Eurene slowly followed the man guiding her with a hand on her shoulder.
“Here, you can do whatever you wish, my lady. You can chase dreams, paint happiness. It would be my utmost honor to accompany you.”
“May I… ask your name?”
The man smiled gently. His smile, so affectionate as if she were the only one he saw amidst this dazzling light and crowd, was exactly what she had so longed to receive from Tatar.
“You may call me whatever you wish, my lady. Today, I’m to be your dream and happiness, so you could make me the Emperor of the Empire or a street jester.”
The man’s gray hair and eyes momentarily reminded her of her brother. The sweet scent, the echoing music, the laughter…
Soon, she took the glass the man offered and drank. The hot, sweet liquid warmed Eurene’s throat and body.
“…Tatar. I’ll call you Tatar.”
“Now, will you tell me your name?”
The man, who had replaced the now-empty glass in Eurene’s hand with a new one, drew closer to her. Eurene quickly emptied the second glass. She answered.
“—Vinea.”
“Vinea. Shall I call you that?”
The man’s hand lightly touched Eurene’s neck. The cool touch against her heated body made Eurene feel slightly elated.
Her head was a bit dizzy. Was it because she had quickly drunk two glasses of alcohol she couldn’t usually handle?
She tried to refuse the third glass the man offered, but this time, he brought the glass to her lips instead of her hand.
“It’s not a bitter drink. It’s suitable for forgetting the nightmares of the day. That’s right. You’re drinking it well, Vinea.”
Ah. The name ringing in her ears almost felt like her own. Is this how he called the Empress that day in the garden? If it had been her in the garden, would he have called her like this?
Eurene swallowed the drink the man gave her. The sweet, unbitter alcohol went down without resistance.
The blue and red lights chaotically illuminated the man before her, making his deep gray hair look almost silver-gray. No, had it been silver-gray from the start?
The sharp eyes, the high bridge of the nose, the shadow at the corner of his eyes—all seemed to overlap with someone else.
‘No, is it him? Is it Brother Tatar?’
In this place where dreams and happiness exist, had her wish come true?
Eurene wrapped her arms around the man’s neck. Just as the Empress had done to him in the Empress’s garden.
“Kiss me, Tatar. Brother Tatar…”
“As you wish.”
Someone’s breath touched her lips. With a burst of hot breath, she was led by the man and moved somewhere in a daze.
Brushing past countless people, climbing stairs, crossing corridors, they entered an unfamiliar room where hot air rushed against Eurene’s cheeks.
“Haa…”
Was it really her own heated breath escaping between her lips? Faced with stimulation she had never felt in her life, she couldn’t properly come to her senses.
Now the stranger’s face had completely taken on the form of Brother Tatar. The eyes, nose, lips, beautiful silver-gray hair and eyes, even the low resonating voice were all his.
“It’s hot…”
Is the room hot? No, is it her fever-stricken body that’s hot?
Since entering the room, even without anyone leading her, Eurene’s body naturally stumbled towards the bed in the center.
She parted the long, dark red curtains. As she collapsed onto the bed, a cool body temperature crept up from her ankles to her knees, and then to the inside of her thighs.
“Mmm…”
The laces that had been tightening her waist from inside the dress came undone with a snap. With a rustle, the thin fabric was removed, and the underwear covering her intimate parts fluttered down past her ankles.
“Vinea, tell me what you want. I can’t do anything without your permission.”
A voice sweeter than the warming alcohol, sweeter than the scent filling the room, touched Eurene’s earlobe.
“…What I want.”
“Yes. The real desire you had when you came here.”
The man wearing his guise urged Eurene on. To speak of her desire, the true desire she wanted.
“I, I…”
Eurene’s chest heaved up and down, exhaling a deep breath. Haa. With that exhaled breath, the desire she had kept hidden deep in her heart finally emerged.
“Desire me. Desperately, as if we’re the only two in this world…”
At last, the man becomes him, and she becomes her. Like the two people she saw passionately kissing in the garden that day, like the two people said to have fervently joined bodies in the temple.
The man’s member touched the intimate place that had never accepted anyone before.
The pain disappeared, mixed with the effects of alcohol, leaving only pleasure so overwhelming she couldn’t distinguish between sky and earth.
“I desire you, Vinea. More desperately than anything else…”
Through her fading consciousness, Eurene responded.
Me too, Brother. Me too. For a very long time. Only you.
But what came out were only moans swallowed by desire.
Eurene forced her wavering focus to fix on the golden mirror hanging from the ceiling. Watching the reflection of the man and woman entangled in disarray, she smiled brightly as if she had grasped true freedom.
Nous_Defions
Eurene (urine), she’s just disgustingly pathetic…