Chapter 51
Chapter 51. A Means to Continue the Miracle
Vinea looked up at Balak with calm eyes. While he had likely mustered the courage to speak, for her this was already the fourth confession she had heard.
When faced with a fate that leads down the same path no matter what choice is made, one can’t help but wonder if we are merely running on a hamster wheel set by the gods.
No matter what we do, can we not escape this cycle? Are we destined to slowly go mad in despair?
Vinea shook her head as if to rid herself of the suffocating feeling.
“…There is no such way. His Majesty would not leave you be.”
“I can at least protect myself.”
“No, you cannot.”
Even if he didn’t understand her certainty, there was nothing she could do.
After ending her relationship with him in the 34th regression, Tatar occasionally killed Balak. It happened more than ten times, and as far as she knew, Balak had never survived when Tatar was determined to find him.
Except when he had been her lover.
“Besides, I don’t want you by my side. With such feelings, the only possible way is to become a mere mistress.”
“I’m prepared for that. Even if it costs me the fate of my trading company.”
“You’re giving up everything you’ve built far too easily for a woman you’ve only met a few times.”
“Because those few meetings shook my entire life. Like fate, or a miracle.”
“Then you should never have spoken of those feelings. If you hadn’t, you could have remained by my side without needing to find a way. Probably for quite a long time.”
Balak took Vinea’s hand and placed it over his heart. She could feel the pounding heartbeat through her palm.
“Regardless of my will, your image appears in my mind, and when it does, my heart feels like it will burst. Once in a while, then every day, every moment. Now I can’t even remember when it used to beat slowly.”
Rather than telling him to tear out his heart, she couldn’t give up now. A heart that has slowed so dramatically would soon be no different from one that doesn’t beat at all, and he would be unable to breathe.
“I’ll give you whatever you need. So please, let me stay by your side.”
Vinea’s blue eyes sank like an abyss.
Regrettably for him, his usefulness was already half spent. She already had in her hands what only he could have procured.
Above all, there was someone who had promised to give her everything he had before Balak did.
Someone who had given her everything he had and more, making the world his own for her sake. Someone who continued to breathe, looking only at her even in despair.
If this were the last regression… She had made that assumption countless times. And countless times, she had come to the same conclusion.
‘Tatar.’
Only that one person could be by her side.
“You always smell of sea breeze. Of clear skies and lush trees. That’s the kind of person you are.”
Though she was clearly speaking about him, Balak somehow felt as if he were listening to a story about a distant stranger. Her lowered blue gaze seemed to be recalling someone she had parted with long ago. Her voice carried a distant longing.
“So live a life that suits you. Freely. Without losing yourself.”
As Vinea looked at Balak, she pictured a lover from another life beyond him.
“I am not your fate or your miracle, Balak.”
The terrace door closed. As the curtains swayed in the wind, cruelly revealing the back of the woman who didn’t look back even once.
“You fool…”
Balak muttered, sinking into regret.
Was it a mistake to rely on alcohol? Seeing her dancing in the center of the ballroom with the Emperor, looking like a perfect pair, he couldn’t bear it without drinking.
The dazzling lights, and under them, the even more dazzling couple.
Balak instinctively knew that even if he were to take that man’s place, he could not create a more perfect picture than him.
Money, power, even his face and body – none of it was better than the Emperor’s. It had been a long time since he had felt such a sense of defeat.
Since it was an insurmountable wall, he wanted to hide even in a mouse hole to be near her. But the answer that came back was a rejection that chilled him to the bone.
Opening the terrace door, Balak went straight out of the ballroom without even turning his head in the direction where she might be sitting. If their eyes were to meet, he felt he might fall to his knees before her and beg for mercy, regardless of whether the Emperor was watching or not.
Unlike at the Marquis’s estate where he had first met her, there were no nobles who had left early.
Unable to think of anything at the moment, he was about to head towards his carriage when he heard a small commotion somewhere.
It was coming from a spot slightly away from the ballroom entrance.
As Balak stood in front of a woman blocking the way and two imperial knights, the knights looked flustered as they recognized his face.
“Are you leaving the ballroom, sir?”
“I am, but is there a problem?”
“No, sir. We apologize for the disturbance. Your carriage should be in the direction you were heading.”
As Balak was about to take a step, he heard a woman’s tearful voice.
“No, that can’t be! His Majesty the Emperor Emeritus promised me!”
“This is troublesome, my lady. You need an invitation to enter.”
“Please, just check once. Isn’t the name of the Duke’s family enough?”
“Regardless of status, possession of an invitation is the condition for entry to this banquet. I believe the Castallo Duchy is on the guest list, did you not receive an invitation?”
“That’s…!”
The woman bit her lower lip hard and lowered her head, her eyes on the verge of tears.
Seeing that the knights couldn’t do anything either way, it didn’t seem like she was trying to enter under false pretenses.
‘If it’s the Castallo Duchy, they should have received an invitation to the Empire Foundation Day celebration…’
Though Balak found it strange, he couldn’t help but think that if he hadn’t received an invitation from Vinea this time, he would have been in exactly the same situation.
He finally took out his own invitation from his breast pocket.
“You said you were Lady Castallo. Here, take this and go in. You can say you came in as my partner.”
“Ah…!”
The knights finally stepped back with relieved expressions. The woman, who received the invitation he handed over with trembling hands, lifted her green eyes.
“Thank you so much, sir. May I ask your name? I’m Eurene Castallo.”
“I’m not someone whose name is worth knowing, my lady.”
“But still…”
“Wouldn’t it be better to go in before the banquet ends?”
Only then did Eurene, remembering the forgotten banquet, bow her head.
“May God’s blessings be upon you as abundantly as the miracle that has befallen me today. Farewell…”
Balak watched Eurene’s retreating back as she ran towards the ballroom, then finally turned around.
“Miracle, God’s blessing… As if such things would ever come to me.”
Laughing self-deprecatingly, Balak suddenly had a thought and stopped in his tracks instead of getting into the carriage.
“A miracle bestowed by God…”
‘I am not your fate or your miracle, Balak.’
The sword that had pierced his heart like a death sentence. Was there a way to pull that sword out again, to make it as if there had never been a wound?
A real divine miracle. God’s blessing that is said to grant any wish.
“Sefitiana.”
Tatar, who had been sitting with a bored expression after rejecting all the nobles’ audiences, opened his mouth.
“His face was so pale as he left the ballroom. It was pitiful.”
Vinea, who had returned to her seat after finishing her conversation with Balak, moistened her lips with wine and put the glass down again. She answered without bothering to look at the place where Balak had left.
“I got everything I needed, so it’s fine.”
“Then there will be no more entanglements.”
“I suppose so.”
“I’m thinking of leaving now because it’s boring. Will the Empress come along?”
“Have you forgotten that both you and I find this equally tedious?”
Vinea stood up as if to say it was a needless question. The nobles who had been chatting turned their gazes subtly as the Emperor and Empress rose.
Just as she was about to leave to avoid unnecessary conversation, Vinea’s expression hardened as she received some information from a servant.
“…Your Majesty, please go ahead.”
“Are you trying to dry me to death? You acted like you would grant any request during the procession.”
Vinea lowered her voice and said,
“It’s about Vante. I don’t want to drag this out either.”
Tatar watched Vinea leave first with Lineue, then turned his head again.
Since she had taken the prepared carriage, he planned to wait just a few more minutes until the carriage Deron had gone to call arrived.
As he waited, looking at the unbearably boring people, he saw someone who shouldn’t be in this ballroom.
Eurene Castallo.
She had entered the ballroom even later than the Emperor, Empress, and even the Emperor Emeritus, quietly taking a seat in a corner of the ballroom without the introduction of an attendant.
Overwhelmed by the splendor of the imperial ballroom, Eurene looked around with bewildered eyes. Then, belatedly coming to her senses, she moved her gaze as if searching for someone, and finally, her gaze reached the highest dais in the ballroom.
Her green eyes widened at the empty seat next to Tatar. Her pale complexion blossomed brightly as she met Tatar’s eyes.
Holding her breath and placing her trembling hands on her chest, Eurene finally stood before Tatar.
Following the court etiquette she had practiced countless times at the Duke’s residence to show him, she grasped her dress and bowed.
“…I am honored to be in the presence of the glory of Tessibania.”
Her trembling voice was tinged with intense excitement. Tatar, still seated, looked down at Eurene, then tilted his head back, closing and opening his eyes.
Fatigue and boredom. There was no trace of longing or affection to be found even if one looked closely, but due to the distance, Eurene could not see his expression.
Just as Tatar was about to respond, Deron, who had gone to call for the carriage, returned.
“Your Majesty, the carriage…”
Before Deron could finish speaking, Tatar stood up and immediately walked past Eurene, heading out of the ballroom.
While Deron hurriedly explained some plausible circumstances to the bewildered nobles, Eurene urgently followed Tatar.
“Y-Your Majesty, please wait…!”
As soon as she left the ballroom, Eurene blocked his path. Then she spread her arms and threw herself into his embrace.
“—Brother!”
