Chapter 30
Chapter 30. The Blade That Severs Bonds
How did he know about this commotion and come here? Glancing slightly, Vinea saw Lineue stepping away in the distance. It seemed he had gone to inform Tatar while she was calming her stinging cheek.
“Sit down. I just threw out the tea, so there’s nothing to offer.”
Instead of sitting across from Vinea, he approached her closely. His cool fingers carefully touched her reddened cheek. His tightly clenched lips revealed his anger.
“I’ll sever the Emperor Emeritus’s head and display it in front of the Empress’s palace.”
“That’s blasphemy. Control yourself.”
“It will be back in place by the next return anyway. If it can ease the Empress’s heart, I don’t mind.”
“We might not return. Speaking of which, we should start caring about our reputation. If people think the Emperor and Empress are mad, it would be problematic if we were to finish the return.”
“Do you really believe we can stop returning?”
Vinea’s brow furrowed. Her previously calm gaze turned sharp in an instant. Tatar, who had been staring at her reddened cheek, finally looked into her eyes.
“I have to believe it. Unless I want to lose my mind and live forever.”
“Wouldn’t it be better to give up rather than fail and despair endlessly? You can’t even sleep properly without someone by your side. You’re afraid you’ll return when you wake up.”
“…You.”
“Even someone crazier than the Empress finds the night daunting. How much more so for you? Do you have the confidence to continue enduring countless despair and keep moving forward?”
“Do you think we can live like this forever? Clinging to each other while forgetting reality, until we no longer recognize each other?”
“Even if the whole world turns black, I can still recognize the Empress.”
“That’s arrogance. Ever since Eurene Castallo caused that incident, you’ve been having nightmares in reality. Do you think I don’t know?”
“…You’ve found out somehow.”
Vinea bit her lip hard enough to draw blood. It felt like her feet were sinking into an abyss.
This was why she hurried. This was why she tried to avoid another return.
When did things become so broken? From the moment they decided to go mad together? Or when they bound themselves to walk the same path forever?
No, it was further back. From when his obsession with her grew and he became indifferent to everything else. When he let go of all connections except for the two of them.
‘Eurene Castallo.’
The thirty-fourth life, an especially brutal return, came to mind immediately.
Many had sinned. Those who insulted the Empress, those who tried to overthrow the Emperor, those who incited war between the two empires, and those who tried to kill them by any means necessary.
However, few left Vinea with enduring hatred after each return. Eurene Castallo was one of them.
The vile and despicable acts, unthinkable for a noble lady, were still vivid in her mind.
Those who were ordered by her tried to kidnap Vinea with the intent of assault, bribed the cook to feed her a powerful aphrodisiac, and committed other heinous acts. But the most significant incident was separate.
Suppressing the hateful memory of that day, Vinea grabbed Tatar’s wrist, which was holding her cheek.
“Tatar de Tessibania, you should know that you’re not the only one receiving reports on my every move.”
In the thirty-seventh life, it started with a report from the chamberlain. The Emperor was not sleeping well.
The second report came from the aide, Deron. The Emperor seemed to be suffering from sleepwalking.
The third and fourth reports continued with each return.
They said he wore a black cloth over his eyes and sometimes swung his sword in the training yard as if really trying to cut someone.
On nights when he didn’t sleep with Vinea, he would stand still in the bedroom, staring into space, or sometimes leave the palace as if running from something, only to return before dawn.
Initially thought to be insomnia, then sleepwalking, they finally concluded he was suffering from vivid, severe hallucinations.
Despite Vinea’s stern expression, Tatar smiled lightly, as if it were a trivial matter.
“I’m truly losing my mind. We both knew this was inevitable. There’s no need to worry. At least when I’m with the Empress, I see no hallucinations.”
Tatar leaned his forehead against Vinea’s. As he gazed into her eyes, filled with the deep sea, he felt a sensation of being the only two people in the world.
He slowly lowered his head. The barely touching lips felt more vivid than any other part of his body.
“Don’t despair or give up. When I see the Empress struggling with vain hope, I want to crush that hope and keep you by my side, no matter what.”
As he spoke, Tatar revealed a part of his deep-seated desire—to possess her by breaking her. This grotesque and despicable desire was his true nature.
Was it the misguided desire of a madman, the desperate struggle of a man trying to survive, or the greed born from not wanting to fall into hellish loneliness?
His lips fully descended on Vinea’s. The slow, deliberate movement was as if he wanted to engrave every moment into his mind.
They pressed their lips together repeatedly, but that was all. There was no warmth exchanged, no breath of desire like usual.
Even so, neither of them stopped first.
Only when they were out of breath did they pull away simultaneously, their restrained breaths finally escaping.
The rising heat vanished in an instant.
Vinea held back all the questions and words she wanted to say. Instead of shaking someone who had let go of everything for an illusory hope, it would be easier to find a sure path and reach the end.
“It won’t go as you think. We will definitely escape this hell together.”
Vinea said, forcing her blue sea into his darkened silver-gray eyes.
“I will make sure of it.”
* * *
“Megina, stop right there! At once!”
Megina instinctively stopped in a secluded corner, away from people. It felt as if her past, always avoiding others, was chasing her like a shadow once more.
“I am not worthy to have a private audience with the Emperor Emeritus. If you need someone to converse with, you should call my husband, Duke Castallo.”
“It’s been seven years since you returned to the palace. Is that all you have to say to me? How can you treat your only brother this way!”
“Who even knows that the Emperor Emeritus and I are blood siblings?”
“I know, and you know. You don’t need to hide anymore, Megina. Your status and origins have all been resolved.”
“Do you truly believe everything has been resolved?”
“Yes. I personally erased all traces of your mother. I brought you into the Marquis’s family as an adopted daughter, and I elevated your husband’s family to the rank of duke. Haven’t all the problems you struggled with been solved?”
“Solved! Ha, solved!”
Megina let out a bitter laugh.
“There are still rumors that I am the Emperor Emeritus’s concubine. People will continue to spread that slander even after we die. Do you have any idea how ashamed and guilty I feel every time I look at my children?”
“Who is saying such things? Tell me, and I will take care of it immediately.”
“And how exactly will someone who is no longer the Emperor do that?”
The Emperor Emeritus was at a loss for words. Megina looked down, self-mocking.
She should have knelt before the Empress instead. After being slapped because of her, there was no chance Eurene would ever look kindly upon her again.
“Tatar has only been on the throne for two months.”
“Do you not realize how it would look for someone who took responsibility for the war and stepped down to intervene? If you don’t understand that, I am even more disappointed.”
“Why are you behaving like this? What did that woman say to you?”
“The Empress knows that the Emperor Emeritus and I are half-siblings!”
The Emperor Emeritus’s face hardened, the wrinkles around his eyes trembling.
“That can’t be. The only ones who know that are you, me, Duke Castallo, and Tatar.”
Suddenly, the Emperor Emeritus recalled meeting his son recently. Tatar had behaved like a different person since the wedding.
“Could it be…?”
“What does it matter now where the information leaked from? The Empress’s decision on my status depends on whether or not my origins are revealed to the world.”
“Don’t worry. There’s no evidence anyway. I’ll handle it smoothly—”
“Rumors alone can be enough to drive someone to despair.”
Megina forced herself to remember the past she had tried to forget. Those who recklessly reached out to her because of the rumors that she was the Emperor’s concubine. The contemptuous glances and whispers behind her back. The pity and ridicule directed at her husband.
“I kept telling myself it was better to be the Emperor’s illegitimate child than the child of a prostitute. Even if I had to live as a maid in the palace, I thought this reality was better.”
“That’s all in the past, Megina. Why keep bringing up problems that have already been solved?”
“When I became the Marquis’s adopted daughter thanks to your pity, I thought I could ask for nothing more.”
She no longer had to dirty her hands or work hard. But because she wasn’t born a noble, she had to work twice as hard as others. She had to change everything, from her habits to her thoughts. Constantly deceiving herself, pushing herself to mimic the “noble” image her brother desired.
In hindsight, she had been nothing more than a jester. And even now, that hadn’t changed.
Her brother, unable to bear seeing his half-sister sent away, continually brought her back to the palace so she could experience a fraction of the royal privileges she should have had from the start.
Each visit required waking up before dawn for the three-hour carriage ride. She lived as a half-sister in the palace, a noble lady outside, and the daughter of a prostitute when alone. Hiding such a significant secret was poison.
She constantly worried if the secret had leaked, and hosted countless tea parties and gatherings to keep up appearances. The stress often left her bedridden for days.
She thought marriage might improve things, but her brother’s orders kept her serving as the Empress’s companion, still frequenting the palace. Inevitably, scandal followed.
“Everything was for your happiness.”
“The rumor that I am the Emperor Emeritus’s concubine? Are you seriously saying that was for my happiness?”
For many years, she endured for the sake of her children’s future and the past she couldn’t breathe through. Megina realized it was time to sever this enduring connection.
Her voice, sharp as a blade, cut through the air towards her brother.
