Chapter 106
Chapter 106. Love Freely
It must have been Ansha’s best course of action. Abraltan’s politically entangled love would have been useless in protecting her child.
“To protect the child, and perhaps, to ensure the eternal continuation of the bloodline. That’s why traces of Abraltan and her, the evidence that she had made a wish to Sefitiana, would be passed down through hair and eye color.”
It was almost certain now. All clues and events pointed to it.
“It’s strange that Abraltan and Magnolia would have had no children, given all the tests they must have completed before their marriage.”
Tatar’s brow furrowed slightly. He paused, his gaze lingering on Empress Magnolia’s portrait before returning to Vinea.
“There were no children between the Empress and me before the regression. If the miracle of Sefitiana continued through our lineage, why did the Empress regress with me?”
“Tatar.”
Vinea softly called his name. His silvery eyes met hers.
Throughout their journey here, Vinea had mulled over a hypothesis, which she now voiced with some difficulty.
“Consider the scene you dreamed of, it might not have been just a dream. Think back to before the regression, the evening before we visited the temple. What happened between us that night?”
Tatar delved deep into thought. It was less than a year ago, but seventy-seven regressions made it feel like decades.
He slowly recollected. Before going to the temple, he had attended a council and then met the Emperor Emeritus in his office. Unlike in his dream, he hadn’t been able to control the Emeritus, ending a tiresome day.
“That tea party you saw was real. It was a season when Baloua flowers were in full bloom, a gathering meant to foster unity among noble ladies and wives. Eurene Castallo had also attended uninvited.”
“It’s coming back to me. I despised how the Emeritus tried to control me even after I became Emperor. I stepped out for some air and saw your tea party. There seemed to be an incident then.”
His memory was correct. How could any event involving Eurene Castallo pass without issue?
“At a tea party attended by a widow who had lost her husband to the Veshnu Empire’s forces, Eurene Castallo continued to provoke her. I kept asking about various aspects of Veshnu, wanting to leave a good impression of my homeland, recounting happy memories.”
“Right. I abruptly ended the tea party. I ran into you, the Empress, who had been splashed with tea and escorted you to the Empress’s Palace.”
That wasn’t a dream he had whimsically altered; it was the actual memory of that day.
“It was a day that needed consolation. Those moments when pent-up emotions suddenly erupt.”
And despite it not being a night of consummation, they had passionately united for the first time. They sought solidarity and comfort in each other’s warmth. Throughout that night, they continued without a moment’s pause for contraception.
As the memory resurfaced, Tatar slowly lifted his gaze.
“Empress, you…”
Vinea, her gaze heavy, took his rough hand in hers. Regret, compassion, and sorrow for a life they hadn’t been able to protect flickered through his silvery eyes. Those emotions were proof that despite their desensitization to death, they were still human.
“It seems I was with child at that time. Although some questions remain, if Ansha wished for the eternal continuation of descendants, it makes sense. The child we lost that day was ours, and if we were to have another…”
“…it would have to be after we’re married.”
The future was unpredictable, but the past was well within their grasp. Sefitiana had chosen the day of the miracle activation, which had erased their errors, as the pivot point to return them to the very beginning where it could be undone.
That was the start where they could have a child and the point where they could amend the past that had led to the child’s death. Continuously.
“When one of us dies unable to have a child, reaching a future where the child’s life or death is uncertain, that’s why we’ve been regressing continuously. We hadn’t had a child since the regression started.”
Perhaps Sefitiana, wishing for the eternal continuation of their lineage, deemed that they had failed to fulfill Ansha’s wish because they hadn’t had a child.
Thus, it kept turning back time. Until they succeeded.
And finally—
Vinea placed her hand over her abdomen. Tatar blinked slowly.
“We mustn’t fail this time. We can’t wield regression as a weapon anymore. This must be our last life, fought with all our might.”
Still somewhat gaunt, but seemingly firmer, Vinea’s abdomen now bore the signs of new life. Tatar’s silvery eyes began to well up with emotions too vast to grasp.
Vinea spoke.
“I’m pregnant, Tatar.”
The tips of his fingers trembled over her hand. Feeling his quiver, Vinea experienced an indescribable emotion.
“We’ve been given another chance at the life we couldn’t protect.”
A queasiness stirred within her, and her vision blurred slightly.
“I’m sorry for not telling you sooner. I was afraid you might feel the same way. Oh, why now? Why at this moment when I can’t fully rejoice without feeling this dread?”
Tatar blinked heavily. He gently stroked Vinea’s lean abdomen with his palm.
“We’re not yet ready to take responsibility for a life. Our suffocating circumstances might lead this life to death. That’s what I’ve been dreadfully afraid of, and why I’ve regretted this pregnancy.”
They had silenced the doctor and Lineue who knew of the pregnancy.
He didn’t want to expose a life he couldn’t fully love to the world just yet. Only after all threats were removed, after they were freed from all anxiety, did he want to truly embrace and bless this new life.
He didn’t want to live a future where they might face regression again if they lost the child.
To cut off that anxiety, perhaps knowing the unborn life might be endangered, he had headed to the temple.
To confirm if this child was indeed the key to ending the regressions, to gain the will to live and not give up on this life.
To freely love this child.
Now that the major threats had been dealt with—Eurene Castallo and Emperor Emeritus Maxiul, with only news of dealings with an uncle in Veshnu pending—they were somewhat freed from the greatest threats they had faced during regressions.
“Even now, I can’t bless this life in peace. Because of the fear of regression if we lose the child. I’m doing my best just by not resenting this life, not treating it as a tool, Tatar.”
Tatar very quietly, without making a sound, knelt down. He had kneeled at Vinea’s feet and rested his forehead on her abdomen.
Vinea stroked his soft hair.
“I’ll bear all the anxiety and guilt, so please, love freely. This child will be our salvation.”
What I couldn’t do. How fearful I was, and how sorry I felt to the unborn life.
But now that it was clear this life deserved to be blessed, now that they were somewhat free from life-threatening dangers, she could tell him.
“Make up for what I couldn’t do. You’re this child’s father.”
In the presence of the tiny, formless new life, he crumbled helplessly.
Below his eyes, tears he couldn’t control flowed, soaking Vinea’s dress. Emotions too complex and profound to grasp swirled around them.
He lifted his head from her abdomen. Through his platinum blonde hair, the blue eyes that had always been his world came into view.
Vinea’s eyes softened.
“We should be happy. Looking forward to our world expanding. We can end the regressions now.”
Ah. He finally found joy among those complex emotions. Joy, hope, anticipation, expectation. The feelings that had once made Vinea sparkle now took root in him fully.
He uttered in a suppressed voice.
“When the child is born, let’s go on a trip. Even somewhere nearby is fine. Let’s go places we’ve never been before. Where we can feel time passing…”
With that, he released all the fear and embraced the future they had now secured, ready to live fully in the moment they had reclaimed.
