Chapter 4.1

However, it was ultimately the Emperor’s command. No matter how firm Rubellian was, he was powerless under the Emperor’s command. Even the renowned Duchy of Colica couldn’t do anything about it.

I smiled and soothed him.

“Now, be good? Wait here. I’ll be back soon.”

“No…”

“Rubellian.”

I stopped his words trying to prevent me and lowered my voice. Since this was the first time he’d seen me like this, I could see him startled, but unfortunately, I was currently very rational and serious.

“It’s my decision.”

“Eve.”

“Any objections?”

Actually, while it was true that we couldn’t refuse the Emperor’s command, on the other hand, I also wanted to see the Emperor’s face directly.

I smiled and kissed Rubellian’s cheek.

“You know I’m fearless, right?”

“……”

“Nothing will happen. You know. I’m someone who hits back when hit, not someone who gets beaten.”

Saying that, I slowly took my steps. The anxious gaze of Rubellian piercing my back was so obvious that I ended up being moved in the midst of it all.

Arriving at the Emperor’s audience chamber, I took a deep breath. When the large doors opened, I looked at the Emperor sitting alone inside and grabbed my dress hem.

His kindly smiling face didn’t look at all like someone who would force himself on someone, which is why you shouldn’t judge people by their faces alone.

“You came?”

“I greet Your Majesty.”

I curtsied elegantly, holding my dress hem. I was still a bit nervous. He is the Emperor after all. But there’s no need to be intimidated.

After finishing my greeting, I straightened gracefully.

“I’m pleased to see you like this today.”

“It’s an honor, Your Majesty.”

Rather than a gentle, soft tone, a somewhat dry and barren voice came out.

However, the Emperor was grinning so happily looking at me, and that appearance was like a father-in-law looking fondly at his daughter-in-law, making me very uncomfortable.

I seriously wished someone would slap that face.

“I wanted to attend Rubellian’s wedding, but there were watching eyes, so I couldn’t.”

“Is that so?”

“I hear you two get along very well?”

“Yes.”

“I’ve been hearing various rumors, but I don’t think there’s any need to pay attention to them.”

As expected. My eyes lit up. He was definitely not a father-in-law who just called me to see his daughter-in-law’s face once. Obviously he must have heard something. I smiled crookedly and grinned.

“I don’t really know what rumors you mean, but my husband and I have a good relationship.”

“I thought so too. As you know, Rubellian has such a gentle nature, he didn’t seem like a child who would be involved in such dirty rumors.”

“……”

I seriously considered how I should kill the Emperor. The woman he violated gave birth to a child and died, yet now he’s talking about his son with quite a wistful face. Meanwhile, Rubellian thinks of the previous Duke Florence as his real father.

I pressed my lips together. I wanted to check just how loose his mouth was. When I stared at the Emperor expressionlessly, he continued speaking.

“He resembles his mother, such a lovely child.”

“……!”

“He looks a lot like Charlina. Charlina was like that. Gentle, lovely, understanding, docile. She was always the kind of woman who sat quietly like that, even in my presence.”

“……”

“I cherished Charlina so much because I loved that appearance.”

“Was it love?”

Looking at the Emperor’s wistful expression, I blurted out. At my question after maintaining silence, the Emperor narrowed his eyes. A searching gaze poured down.

I knew well what his scheme was. He was probably trying to test what thoughts Rubellian harbored by putting one stupid, thoughtless girl in front of him, but very unfortunately, I had a brain.

Thanks to that, I could grasp the Emperor’s hideous appearance more accurately than anyone.

At my question, he looked out the window with quite a wistful face, as if recalling his first love.

“I loved her. I fell in love the first day I saw her. I resented God many times. Why wasn’t I the one who met her first?”

“……”

“But in the end, I got her and Rubellian was born. So that child is more precious and dear to me than anyone.”

Ah, I want to curse.

But knowing that cursing wouldn’t change a thing, I forced myself to hold back.

Then, grinding my teeth, I spoke slowly.

“The previous Duke must have loved the Duchess as well.”

“But in the end, he left her alone at the ducal mansion. Knowing that I was yearning for her.”

“……”

“Does someone who can’t protect even one wife have the right to whisper about love? And originally, many bees gather around beautiful flowers. If there’s a flower abandoned on the roadside and a dog takes it, well, isn’t that human nature?”

In the midst of that, he’s well aware that he himself is the dog. No wait, what did dogs ever do wrong?

At his words, I clicked my tongue internally.

He says he violated a woman out of love. And he says the fault lies with the husband who couldn’t protect his wife.

Is this even words, or rice wine? I can’t even make that joke. How could I compare our proud traditional alcohol with what this bastard is saying?

I just kept my mouth firmly shut and hoped this time would pass quickly.

I was trying to hold my teacup to block my mouth somehow, when suddenly the Emperor’s eyes flashed. Seeing the gleam flash through his eyes, I smiled calmly.

“So, what does the Duchess think?”

“I don’t quite understand what you mean.”

“I’m asking what you think about what I said.”

I instinctively realized. If I answer wrong here, it’ll be big trouble.

I narrowed my eyes. The best method here would naturally be to say His Majesty is right. But if I said that, what happened to Charlina, and what my husband went through, would be too heartbreaking.

So I answered with utmost gentleness, composure, but above all with sincerity, driving home each word.

“If I were the previous Duchess…”

“……”

“I probably wouldn’t be able to forget Your Majesty even with my eyes closed.”

“……”

“Forever.”

Even wanting to jump out of the grave.

At my words, the Emperor made an ambiguous expression. He seemed to ponder for a moment whether what I said meant Charlina “couldn’t forget him because she loved him” or “couldn’t forget him because she hated him.”

The fact that he was thinking about this was even more laughable. Does that bastard really have no conscience?

The Emperor, who had been carefully examining my serenely smiling face, let out a long breath.

“I wonder if Rubellian thinks the same way.”

“His Grace keeps completely silent about that matter to me.”

“Rubellian seems to maintain family order well. It is generally considered improper for the lady of the house to involve herself in external matters. But what the Duchess thinks might greatly influence Rubellian.”

“Though His Grace loves me dearly, he remains the most outstanding noble I have ever encountered.”

I curled up the corners of my mouth. Regardless, I had to strongly appeal that Rubellian would never be swayed by my will, while simultaneously emphasizing that he married me out of love. While acting somewhat immature.

That way, whatever appearance of mine reaches the Emperor’s ears in the future, however he understood my words, he would think it was just my own arbitrary decision.

I will never let suspicion fall on Rubellian.

I don’t know how that appearance looked to the Emperor’s eyes, but when I raised my head again, the Emperor had quite a satisfied expression.

At the mention that I could now take my leave, I stepped outside, frowning deeply as the Emperor’s shameless face and words echoed in my mind.

That was when it happened.

“Are you hurt anywhere?”

“Where would I be hurt?”

Rubellian, who had been waiting outside, was so tense that his face had turned pale white.

Looking at his face, I chuckled softly. If I couldn’t notice his emotions even after seeing this face, I’d be too stupid.

I wasn’t sure where it all began, but arguing over that now felt pointless.

“Rubellian.”

“What? Does something hurt?”

“Hold me.”

At my words, Rubellian hesitantly pulled me into his arms around my waist. Patting his shoulder, I hardened my expression.

I had been uncertain, but now it was clear. I should probably bow in gratitude to the Emperor.

“Rubellian.”

“…Yes.”

“You’ve worked hard.”

At my sudden words, Rubellian tried to release me from his embrace. However, I held him tight and continued speaking.

“Come to think of it, this is also fate in its own way, isn’t it?”

I thought endlessly.

Why did I wake up here of all places? Why in this role, like this, as a character who must die?

But now I think I understand. I smiled while picturing the Emperor’s sly face in my mind.

You sent me here to put you in prison and make you pay for your crimes.

My teeth clenched, and my body trembled. For the first time, I felt fury not for myself, but for someone else because the man in my arms looked so heartbreakingly pitiful.

‘Love.’

He probably said that word to Rubellian too. I loved your mother. So I embraced her. And you were born. With that innocent face, with that shameless tone.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

The carefully guarded sense of reality began to unravel, slipping through the cracks. Only then did it dawn on me—I was Evangeline.

Not Seo Ian.

And this world, which had been a transmigration story to me, was reality to this man.

Rubellian escaped from my embrace and met my gaze. Looking at his deeply troubled face, I stood on my tiptoes and kissed his lips.

When I was young, I had a dream. To become a princess, inherit the throne, and rescue a prince trapped in a tower. The prince’s kiss would be a reward for being saved, and what a princess needs is a crown and a sword.

So what I’m saying is—

“Rubellian, let’s live recklessly now.”

I don’t care whether the original story gets twisted or not.

Let’s just do it first and see what happens.

Rubellian seemed genuinely flustered by my words. He looked worried about what could have happened.

“Did something happen? Did he say something?”

“He did.”

Words that make your mind spin, your heart race, and your fists clench without thought.

“But I gave it right back to him too.”

At my answer, I could see Rubellian frown. Knowing my personality better than anyone, he would know at least that I hadn’t nodded at the Emperor’s words there or even pretended to be obedient.

Rubellian hardened his face and asked.

“What did you say?”

“Don’t worry. I handled it ambiguously. Only his conscience will know what those words meant. And even if he knows, it won’t harm you anyway. At most, it’s just the tantrum of an absurd commoner woman.”

“What were you thinking doing that? It’s not like you didn’t know how the Emperor might react.”

“If things go wrong, he’ll kill me, right?”

“Don’t talk about dying so casually…!”

“But you won’t die.”

“Evangeline Clauda!”

“It’s fine, I tell you. And it’s not like I said anything that impressive anyway. Phew, I had a hard time controlling my temper.”

In truth, the Emperor’s final expression seemed fully fixed on my words, no matter whether Rubellian was plotting rebellion or not.

“Never do that again.”

Rubellian spoke firmly, but his voice sounded almost like a plea.

Eventually, I had no choice but to make a promise I couldn’t keep.

“Alright. I won’t do it again. So don’t worry.”

Still, Rubellian had a complicated expression.

Was it regret, self-blame, or perhaps apology?

Soon, as he held me in his arms, his back seemed to tremble strangely, so I raised my hand and patted his shoulder.

Actually, I knew. Since this world was only a creation of the author’s mind, it wasn’t truly real and might be riddled with inconsistencies.

But don’t I exist? Isn’t Rubellian an existing human being?

So…

As soon as I thought that, the saint’s ceremony began.

Even while looking at Rubellian’s troubled face as he released me from his embrace, I just smiled as if to reassure him. And I smiled coolly while looking at the Emperor standing on the platform.

I did live without conviction until now, didn’t I?

The scariest thing in the world is when a crazy person gains conviction.

Organizing the thoughts that came to mind, I slowly curled up the corners of my mouth.

* * *

Thud—

After returning to the ducal mansion with Rubellian, I flopped down on the bed.

Feeling drained and looking to the side listlessly, Rubellian was untying his cravat. I stopped his hands and grabbed the end of the cravat instead.

“The Emperor suspects your rebellion.”

“I knew that.”

“But how were you so calm about it?”

“Because even if he suspects, he won’t be able to find evidence anyway.”

“What confidence.”

If he wanted to find what kind of deal went on between him and my father, it wouldn’t be impossible to find. You’ve surely done something all this time, so why haven’t they found any proof?

At my grumbling words, Rubellian curled up the corners of his mouth. Soon, receiving his affectionate gaze, I chose my words for a moment. While this was partly driven by anger, I had considered it carefully enough to make it a rational choice.

After putting down the hand that had been fiddling with the cravat for a moment, I spoke.

“Still, we need to be careful from now on. I’ll be careful too. As you said, I should choose my words in front of His Imperial Majesty from now on. Well, today wasn’t too bad either.”

“What?”

“Revenge. Anyway, we have to make sure we don’t get caught.”

Because now I’m going to participate too.

I hope the Emperor and Empress will all go to prison hand in hand together. Then human history would take one giant step forward.

However, Rubellian answered calmly.

“You don’t need to worry.”

“I know. I think you’ll handle it well on your own—”

“Because there’s no such thing anyway.”

“…What did you say?”

“There’s no rebellion. The Florence Duchy won’t rebel against the Imperial family.”

“W-wait, what kind of nonsense… Why?”

I frowned slightly. This isn’t right? Haven’t you wanted revenge all this time?

…But why?

I was momentarily lost, and my face contorted in bewilderment.

“Because I’m scared.”

“That can’t be! No, if you were that scared, why did you start in the first place…”

“Because you might get hurt.”

“……”

“I’m scared that you’ll be implicated because of me.”

Instantly, all the words I was about to shout disappeared down my throat, and silence filled the space between them. What expression should I make to a man who says such things in such a gentle voice?

Because he doesn’t want me to be implicated? Right, if he commits rebellion, I would naturally be implicated. That’s true, but…

“Wait, Rubellian. You… me…”

“I love you.”

Once again, I was at a loss for words and closed my mouth. I knew he had such feelings for me. I knew it, but… hearing it directly like this felt strange.

“That… I, I, I…”

Did I struggle with organizing my words properly? I lowered my head, stammering, and chose my words.

Then, his warmth settled on my forehead.

“I can roughly guess what the Emperor said, but don’t mind it.”

“……”

“I’m fine.”

“…Why?”

“Because I have to be fine.”

Because I have to be fine. Those words sounded like he was giving up because of meWould he be trying to reassure himself by saying he’s fine when there’s no way he actually is? I know what kind of hatred he harbors toward the Emperor, yet he says he’s fine… That can’t be right.

“You’re not fine.”

I gritted my teeth. This shouldn’t be fine. Absolutely, absolutely not. Before feeling guilt, I simply couldn’t stand idly by and watch this as a human being. And secondly—

“I’m not fine.”

“Eve.”

“I want you not to give up on revenge.”

I had resolved on revenge for him, but he was saying he would put down his revenge for me.

“Eve, you should enjoy what you deserve as the Duchess of Florence and live the rest of your life comfortably. I’ll make it so.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Didn’t you like that sort of thing? I’ll give you everything you want—”

“You want me to live in luxury based on what you brought through sacrifice? Are you treating me like some child who doesn’t know about the world?”

“I didn’t sacrifice anything.”

“You said you gave up for me. But that’s not sacrifice?”

“No, instead I gained something bigger.”

“What’s that?”

“Your happiness.”

At Rubellian’s words, I was once again at a loss for words. Thinking for a moment about how I could persuade him, I eventually chose my words carefully, over and over again, before slowly speaking.

“Then, this time, take revenge for me.”

“…What?”

“If we leave the Emperor alone like this, I think I’ll die early from frustration, so this time, take revenge for me.”

Though Rubellian’s expression changed somewhat subtly, I continued speaking with utmost determination.

“It’s my wish. To see you drag the Emperor down to the bottom with your own hands.”

Still, Rubellian didn’t seem to grasp my meaning.

“…Why?”

“Well, it’s because I love you.”

Having gone this far, I didn’t want to fumble with our emotions. So at this point, it wasn’t strange at all for me to tell him I loved him. Of course, my face heating up after saying it was unavoidable.

“Ugh.”

Despite confessing boldly like a protagonist in a drama, I blushed. After blurting out the words, embarrassment washed over me, and in the midst of it all, I wanted to crawl into a mouse hole at Rubellian’s expression as he stared at me blankly.

Well, of course, since I’d never actually dated anyone.

But isn’t that right?If we keep fumbling and misunderstandings pile up, the story won’t move forward. If it keeps stretching out like taffy only to fumble again, and if this cycle repeats endlessly—when will we kiss, when will we kiss more, and when will we finally do that, that thing?

—While I was continuing my rambling thoughts, attaching my own reasons to my shocking confession, suddenly Rubellian reached out and hugged me.

“Eve.”

“……”

“I love you too.”

Though it was a short statement, ridiculously, I almost teared up for a moment. I blinked my eyes, trying not to cry, and said.

“I know that too. I knew that much.”

How could I not know? He wasn’t the type to kiss and act sweet with a woman he didn’t even love.

In the original work, Rubellian only respected his wife but didn’t love her.

Ah, just a few months ago I was doing all sorts of crazy things saying I wouldn’t get married, but what am I doing now? Is this why they say human affairs are unpredictable?

“So you’re taking revenge?”

“……”

“Answer quickly.”

“It’s not that simple.”

My husband won’t cooperate when I tried to get a definite answer by riding this atmosphere? I squirmed in his embrace. At that, Rubellian, who released me, hardened his face and spoke with a serious expression.

“Eve, this isn’t a joke.”

“Assuming this isn’t a joke, did you halt your revenge solely on my account?”

“Well…”

Looking at Rubellian’s face, I sighed.

“Rubellian, you know what? I hate the Emperor. I hate seeing that bastard’s face, I just hate his very existence. Because of that bastard, you were hurt.”

If Rubellian truly gave up revenge for his own reasons, I wouldn’t stop him, but if it was because of me, I absolutely didn’t want to sit by and watch him give up.

At my words, Rubellian maintained silence for a moment, then chuckled, and he reached out to gently arrange my hair.

“Eve. I don’t want you to suffer because of me.”

“I know.”

“But cowardly— I’m so happy that you said that for me right now.”

The fingers that had been playing with my hair moved to my cheek. At his face that had come close before I knew it, I closed my eyes. I couldn’t help but give a long sigh and let out a hollow laugh.

“I never imagined it. That you were thinking such thoughts. When did you come to such a decision?”

“Probably, from when you started looking pretty to me.”

“Should I believe it was love at first sight?”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“At times like this, you should say yes.”

I giggled. Then, taking his hand, Rubellian spoke slowly.

“I don’t know about revenge. I think I need to think about this more.”

“Rubellian.”

“But whatever happens, I’ll make the best choice for you.”

“Ah, Rubellian, really! Just be a bit more decisive… Goodness, what am I doing right now?”

I’m begging him to take me to hell with him. Suppressing this tremendous survival instinct… Rubellian, this scary man.

I shook my head. Anyway, since Rubellian said no, it was awkward for me to push further. It wasn’t that I didn’t understand his heart.

If the rebellion failed, he would meet a swift death, but my fate was far less certain. As a woman—and worse, a commoner rebel—I wouldn’t be seen as human. Being sold to a brothel might even be a relatively kind outcome, perhaps even becoming a noble’s plaything.

And there are quite a few nobles with rather dirty hobbies.

But even so, I, my position is… Ah, it’s difficult. Annoying. Why is everything so hard?

Eventually, unable to bring up the topic anymore, I sighed.

* * *