Chapter 13
“When did you first start to suspect?”
“I thought something was off when Lady Irene, a left-hander, picked up her pen with her right hand.”
“And when did you become sure?”
“I still haven’t.”
Elliot’s gaze wavered.
Well, suspicion and certainty were two different things, after all.
Even if I were the person involved, I wouldn’t be able to believe such a thing as a soul having changed places.
“I can’t say anything for certain yet. Even I’m still confused about the situation.”
Besides, for all I know, Irene could wake up and return tomorrow.
“So, for now, let’s just go on like this. Please prepare fresh copies of the documents.”
At my words, Elliot bowed politely.
* * *
“Send the quickest messenger we have.”
“Yes, my lady.”
I handed the letter to Karlin.
“Who’s the recipient, if I may ask, that you’re sending someone in person?”
Karlin’s eyes sparkled with curiosity.
“I need to seek wisdom from the grand-aunt.”
“Ah, I see.”
Karlin tucked the letter into her chest pocket.
“Oh, isn’t that Lord Abel over there?”
There was always a particular spot I liked to visit when I needed a moment of peace.
A secluded pavilion tucked away in a quiet corner of the garden where people rarely came.
And of all places, Abel was there.
“How coincidental.”
Why did we always seem to meet like this—accidentally, unexpectedly?
Just as I was looking at Abel, he seemed to notice us and turned his gaze.
‘It’s not like he owns the spot, and I can’t exactly ask him to leave…’
What a bothersome situation.
Still, I didn’t want to let Abel ruin what little peace I had managed to find today.
“What should we do, my lady?”
“Let’s move to the back garden. We have no choice with a guest already seated there.”
“But in the rear garden… there isn’t really anywhere suitable to sit and rest…”
Karlin hesitated, knowing the back garden had no proper seating.
“Then prepare a place to spread something out.”
“Oh! Of course—that’ll work just fine!”
Nodding quickly, Karlin dashed off toward the garden entrance.
As I watched her go, I too was about to turn and leave when—
“Are you avoiding me?”
Abel’s voice reached me.
Does he have nothing better to do?
He’d spent the whole morning wandering around my grave, and now he was coming after me?
“Do you have something to say to me?”
I answered with a voice that sounded kind, yet sharp-edged.
Abel, sitting in the garden, looked oddly drained of energy.
For someone that tall and broad to look worn down—it wasn’t easy to pull off.
“I heard you visited the mine.”
“You do seem quite interested in me.”
“I am curious how much damage you’ll manage to do.”
Hmph. It didn’t seem like this would be a pleasant conversation.
Maybe I should just ignore him.
To be honest, dealing with Abel wasn’t something I was eager to do in my current state.
And yet, I couldn’t quite bring myself to turn away coldly either.
Maybe it was because I’d seen his lonely silhouette too often today.
Or maybe… he reminded me of the Abel I used to know when we were young.
“How were the troops stationed near Mergen? They’re not exactly easy to manage.”
And there I went—saying it anyway.
“You’re the first person to ever express concern about that kind of thing to me.”
“Well… household troops are a different matter from the national army.”
Private soldiers weren’t driven by patriotism or loyalty. They were moved by money—and that made things complicated.
In a time when the old glories had faded, how many soldiers would still swear loyalty to a noble house?
Even someone like Abel, who had once charged through battlefields like they were his home, would eventually hit a wall.
“Judging by your expression, you’ve been struggling.”
His slumped shoulders practically screamed that things weren’t going well.
Was that why he’d been lingering by my grave?
And who would know the conditions there better than I did?
“After Deborah died, there must have been fractures within the troops.”
At my words, Abel’s eyes sharpened.
He probably wanted to ask, what do you know?
But what could he do?
I knew quite a lot, actually.
“Your sudden appearance likely only made the confusion worse. Isn’t that right?”
At that, Abel rose from his seat.
Though his steps were casual, there was a disciplined edge in every movement—a weight that made anyone watching instinctively wary.
“I’d love to hear your oh-so-great ideas.”
His expression made it clear—he was ready to cut me down if I said anything foolish.
“I just want to point out the importance of drawing clear lines. The kind of heart you win with honor and the kind of strength you borrow with money—they’re not the same. This isn’t war. No one in this era throws their life away for a cause anymore.”
“You speak as if Mergen’s name means nothing.”
“And you speak as if you take great pride in Mergen.”
How ironic.
He, who had lived his life rejecting Mergen, and I, who had lived my life as Mergen itself—arguing from opposite ends of the same line.
It really was absurd.
“If someone needs money, give them money. If they crave honor, give them honor. That’s all it takes to settle things. Just make sure to separate the two and use them accordingly. Especially that man, Reid—he has a sick family member. He’s sharp because he’s desperate for money, so there’s no need to take it personally.”
Abel, who had been silently listening, crossed his arms and tilted his body to one side.
“Why are you trying to help me?”
“How naive. You actually think I’m helping you?”
I met Abel’s eyes and spoke.
“It’s just…”
It’s just that the things you might end up ruining are the same things I’ve worked so hard to build.
It wasn’t because I had some grand purpose or deep feeling.
I simply didn’t want the peace I fought for to be shattered.
Maybe… this is because I haven’t fully let go of my attachments.
“I suppose it means I don’t trust you.”
“You, of all people, don’t trust me?”
There was a spark in Abel’s eyes.
Why was he always so eager to tear Irene apart?
“You were never truly part of Mergen. How could someone like you ever work for this family’s sake?”
“You’re right. Not even once have I truly been a part of Mergen.”
The fire in Abel’s eyes didn’t fade, but his flames were different from most—they burned cold, calm, and intensely blue.
“But what about you? Aren’t you the same?”
“Hardly. I’d say the difference is that I didn’t choose it willingly.”
“Whether by choice or not, neither of us was ever accepted.”
“Are you trying to compare who had it worse?”
At my words, Abel leaned forward.
“Since when did you care so much about this family’s affairs? Or have you just now taken off the mask?”
“I should be the one asking. Why did you come back?”
“……”
There was no wavering in our eyes as we stared each other down.
We didn’t share a drop of blood, and yet somehow, we were so alike.
“Do you want Mergen for yourself?”
“……”
“Or…”
Are you planning revenge, too?
That’s what I wanted to ask.
“I asked what it is you want,” Abel said with a hint of self-mockery.
“There’s nothing here I want anymore.”
“Your mother didn’t seem to think the same.”
“There’s nothing, and no one, here that means anything to me.”
Then why did you come back?
You’ll never find peace here.
You should’ve just run far away.
Suddenly, I remembered Abel standing silently by my grave, sunlight pouring down on him.
A figure surrounded by shadows, lingering in a halo of light that stayed with me.
“And you? What are you baring your claws for?” he asked.
What do I want?
“Probably Mergen.”
That must be the real reason I gave Abel that advice.
Because I don’t want anyone else ruining what I intend to take for myself.
At my answer, Abel laughed in my face.
“So now that your sister’s dead, it looks like Mergen might actually fall into your hands?”
“Ah.”
Well, it’s not exactly like that.
It should’ve been mine in the first place.
“More like… yes. Everything has its order, don’t you think?”
I gave Abel a small, knowing smile.
Talking to him like this helped me organize my thoughts.
Yes, that’s right.
Everything in this world follows a certain order.
If I want to ruin Mergen completely, I first need to have it in my hands—entirely.
“I want everyone in the world to know my name.”
To know who it was that destroyed Mergen.
Not that it simply withered away, but that it was shattered to pieces—completely—under the name of Irene.
To do that, I need every part of Mergen to belong to me.
“The name of the one who devoured Mergen.”
At my declaration, Abel fell silent.
I’d expected mockery right away.
“So, if you have no real interest, I’d rather you disappear.”
I don’t think I’d enjoy having you stand among the ruins of something I intend to break myself.
“You’ve changed.”
There was certainty in Abel’s voice.
“You’ve changed too.”
I shot back without missing a beat.
“When we were kids, you used to tuck your tail and run at the first sign of trouble. But not anymore, huh? Mmm… is this what they call growing up?”
He was a strange one—someone who chose the battlefield as a place to hide from the world’s gaze.
It was hard to tell whether he was timid or bold.
But Abel didn’t react to my jab.
Instead, his eyelashes lowered neatly, as if he were sorting through his thoughts.
“Let me tell you just one thing.”
His voice was low, but it echoed in my ears with weight.
“You will never have anything.”
With that, Abel brushed past me.
I shifted my body slightly to follow the direction he was walking—his long strides taking him swiftly away.
“Hmph.”
How strange.
“Just a few days ago, he was talking about killing me… Now he’s all generous and reserved.”
Maybe that was the price of my advice?
Not that I cared about the truth of it, honestly.
“Anyway… looks like we won’t be needing the mat anymore.”
If I’d known I could get rid of him that easily, I wouldn’t have made Karlin go through all that trouble.
“My lady!”
Karlin came running back with a bright smile, the rolled-up mat tucked under one arm.
